This ship will forever have my heart, I love them both dearly. Of course, I don't own any rights to Critical Role. Enjoy!
At first, Essek didn't really notice it. Or maybe he did and just chose to ignore it. After everything they had both been through, together and apart, it was a miracle that either of them were still even alive. Finally allowing themselves to enjoy life, together as one, away from all the pain and misery of their past's. It had been difficult to let go of it all, at first. Both of them looking over their shoulders with every step, just waiting for something to rip apart their lives once more. But eventually, as time passed, they began to untether themselves from that fear and move forward. Caleb settled into the role of professor rather well, Essek thought; especially the way his eyes shone as he taught his students and that slight upturn at the corner of his lips when he could tell that they were finally starting to understand a particularly difficult concept. And so, time passed by peacefully- but not, of course, without the odd insane scheme or wild adventure caused by one or more of the members of the Nein wreaking havoc somewhere in the world. But generally, Essek and Caleb were able to relax into a wonderfully domestic life together, something neither of them had ever pictured in their futures even just a few years ago. And yet, here they both were. Years rolled by calmly but swiftly, Essek hardly noticing them at all. Until he looked- really stopped and looked- at Caleb. Suddenly his young face was creased and weathered, his hair was closer to Essek's silver than to the fiery red it had once been, and his pace was no longer even close to that of the wizard he had fought alongside so long ago. Caleb Widogast, Essek realised for the very first time, was aging.
It shouldn't have come as a surprise, Essek was well aware of the mortality of humans and the shortness of their lives in comparison to his own. It had always been the quiet, unspoken truth between them; they both knew Caleb's life would end long before the signs of age had even begun to show on Essek's face. And yet, the realisation that it was actually happening, right before his eyes, hit Essek like a dagger to the chest. He wanted nothing more than to make it stop, to turn back the ever-moving wheels of time. He was powerful enough; he knew he could make it work. But he also knew it wasn't what Caleb would want. Quite the opposite, actually. Messing with time was not a subject either of them took lightly, nor something that either of them wanted to dwell on too deeply- they had both spent too much of their lives considering ways to change the past, as well as the future. But Essek couldn't help but consider the possibilities of twisting time to his and Caleb's advantage. It would allow them so much longer together, infinitely longer if they both wished. And slowly, bit by bit, that very thought began to consume him.
Caleb's worry for Essek grew day by day. The first thing he noticed was that Essek had started withdrawing from him in the last few months; since the tentative beginnings of their relationship, Essek had always been very physically affectionate with him and, unless circumstance pulled them apart, he would always remain close to Caleb's side. But recently, Essek seemed to prefer his own company and would often lock himself away in his study for days on end. Caleb knew he shouldn't feel as worried, or as upset, than he did. He knew what it was like to suddenly be consumed by a particular project or idea, he himself having shut himself away many a time for such reasons. But this felt different, obsessive almost, like he was specifically hiding what he was doing. Caleb began to wonder if he'd done something wrong or if he had somehow hurt or upset Essek. Why else would he withdraw from him so completely? Unable to think of what else to do, he turned to Beau for advice. After all, her and Yasha had settled very nicely into their domestic life together and very rarely seemed to face troubles within their relationship.
"I dunno man, maybe just talk to him about it?" Beau had very unhelpfully suggested with a shrug. That was quite honestly the last thing he wanted to do, knowing that there was a decent chance he might not like the answer Essek would give him. But he was running out of options. Eventually, he relented. On one particularly cold and quiet night, Caleb walked over to the door of Essek's study and, after taking about twenty minutes to build up the courage and try to steady his racing heart, he raised his hand and knocked firmly on the wooden door. As soon as the first knock sounded, Caleb regretted his decision. His mind was raked with fear, every inch of his body shaking with nervous energy. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he made a mental note to get back at Beau for making him think this was even a remotely good idea in the first place. But, before that thought could get very far, the door in front of him opened. In its place stood a tired, haggard looking Essek, but still as beautiful as ever, his eyes shining brightly in the candlelight. They stood in silence for a moment, both staring at each other with increasingly confused expressions on their faces'.
"Are you... okay?" Essek eventually asked with a slight frown, watching Caleb stare at him wide-eyed, as though he had been caught doing something he shouldn't.
"Yeah," Caleb mumbled, trying to gather himself, "I actually came here to ask if you were okay,"
"Of course I'm okay," Essek smiled, his expression softening at Caleb's concern, "why wouldn't I be okay?"
"You've been a bit distant lately," Caleb explained, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck.
"Have I? Sorry, I hadn't noticed," Essek tried to sound casual but wasn't doing a particularly good job of it.
"I just wanted to make sure nothing was wrong... that I hadn't done anything wrong," Caleb whispered, all the fear trapped in his heart spilling forwards at once. A beat of silence passed between them, and Caleb couldn't bear to look at Essek. This was it... this was the beginning of their end together, he knew it. Then he felt Essek's fingers softly brush across his jawline and under his chin, gently tilting his head upwards. Steeling himself for what was about to happen, Caleb opened his eyes. But what he saw was not at all what he had been expecting, and it broke his heart. Essek was smiling at him sadly, a single tear slowly falling down his cheek.
"My dear, you could never do anything wrong, not to me," Essek whispered, gently running a finger down Caleb's cheek before reaching out and holding both of Caleb's hands in his, pulling him slightly closer.
"Then, what has been going on with you?" Caleb frowned, now more confused than ever. Essek bit his lip nervously before a sheepish smile began to spread across his lips.
"I was trying to find a way to extend your natural lifespan..." Essek whispered, not quite meeting Caleb's eye.
"Ah," Caleb sighed, "so you've noticed it too, then?"
"I think it actually makes you even more beautiful," Essek admitted, "but it also hurts,"
"I know, my dear," Caleb smiled sympathetically, letting go of Essek's hands and wrapping his arms around his lover's waist, "but we both knew this would happen. And, in any case, I'm no old man yet!" he joked and Essek couldn't help but smile.
"I love you, Caleb. And will continue to love you for the eternity I will have to endure without you by my side," Essek spoke softly, leaning forwards and pressing his forehead against Caleb's.
"And I love you Essek, for the rest of my life; however long that may be," Caleb whispered back, closing his eyes and focusing on the feeling of Essek so close to him.
"I'm sorry," Essek eventually broke the silence, pulling back ever so slightly so he could look into Caleb's eyes.
"You have nothing to be sorry for, dear heart," Caleb smiled before leaning forwards and softly kissing Essek. Instantly, Essek kissed him back and Caleb's smile widened against his lips. They both knew the reality of their situation. But, for now at least, they were happy to just live in the moment.