A/N: Didn't like much how this chapter turned out halfway but to be honest I was struggling with this chapter for over a week, if I didn't push it out I might have stayed stuck for God knows how long :v
-Do the names Peter and Charlotte mean anything to you?- Alice asks, she needs to call Peter and Charlotte, but she would first like to make Jasper aware of who were they, what Peter had meant to him.
-Peter and Charlotte..?- Jasper repeats, a frown taking over his face… those names… it felt like he should know them.
Charlotte.
Peter...
"-S̸h̸e̸'̸s̸ a̸ l̸i̸a̸r̸,̸ w̸e̸ d̸o̸n̸'̸t̸ h̸a̸v̸e̸ t̸o̸ f̸i̸g̸h̸t̸ u̸p̸ N̸o̸r̸t̸h̸.̸"
A man's voice, blond hair, red eyes; anger, fear, determination, hope, despair.
"-Y̸o̸u̸'̸r̸e̸ m̸y̸ b̸r̸o̸t̸h̸e̸r̸,̸ o̸f̸ c̸o̸u̸r̸s̸e̸ I̸ c̸o̸u̸l̸d̸n̸'̸t̸ l̸e̸a̸v̸e̸ y̸o̸u̸ t̸h̸e̸r̸e̸.̸"
Weight on his shoulder, the ghost of a hand; sadness, fondness, loyalty. He feels warm, welcoming, comforting, like something he can't place but likes.
"-I̸ h̸a̸t̸e̸ y̸o̸u̸,̸ t̸h̸a̸t̸'̸s̸ n̸o̸t̸ g̸o̸n̸n̸a̸ c̸h̸a̸n̸g̸e̸ a̸n̸y̸t̸i̸m̸e̸ s̸o̸o̸n̸ .̸"
A woman's voice, short brown hair, red eyes; annoyance, wariness, mistrust, anger, despise.
"-B̸e̸ c̸a̸r̸e̸f̸u̸l̸,̸ a̸l̸r̸i̸g̸h̸t̸?̸ D̸o̸n̸'̸t̸ b̸e̸ a̸n̸ i̸d̸i̸o̸t̸ a̸n̸d̸ g̸e̸t̸ y̸o̸u̸r̸s̸e̸l̸f̸ k̸i̸l̸l̸e̸d̸.̸"
A swat to the stomach; familiarity, relief, concern. She feels bitter, warm, annoying, light, like something he can't stand, but can't also see himself losing.
He flinched at the glitching whispers that seemed to creep from the back of his head, flowing through cracked shadows he couldn't quite reach past.
He felt his vision zoom out for a moment and pain prickle in his head.
"-Sh̷e̷'̷s̷ a̷n̷ i̷n̷t̷e̷r̷e̷s̷t̷i̷n̷g̷ o̷n̷e̷.̷"
"-C̷a̷n̷'̷t̷ b̷e̷l̷i̷e̷v̷e̷ s̷h̷e̷'̷s̷ t̷h̷e̷ o̷n̷e̷ w̷h̷o̷ t̷a̷m̷e̷d̷ t̷h̷e̷ S̷o̷u̷t̷h̷'̷s̷ T̷e̷r̷r̷o̷r̷.̷"
Jasper squeezed his eyes shut as the glitched whispers kept clawing their way through the cracked glass, bleeding like a river of blurred colors and shapes, stinging, like picking at the scab of a yet to heal wound.
He flinched, he felt nauseous, his skull felt like knives were slicing through it, the edge lodging into his brain at times, tearing flesh apart, God, why did it have to hurt so bad every time something tried to piece itself together or come up at all?
He felt a hand rest on his shoulder as concern sliced the air, like a bittersweet layer sticking onto his skin, he wanted it gone. Instinct won over logic as he lashed out, snatching the arm in a deadly grip, a warning growl rumbling at the back of his throat as he bared his fangs.
But just as quick as it was there, just as quick it was gone, and he was left feeling confusion as he held Alice's arm.
Alarm was ringing in the air like a piercing whistle. Downstairs.
Alice was regarding him with nothing but calm.
-You alright?- She questions, her voice gentle, worried, for him.- You wanna do this later? We don't have to do this. You don't have to force anything, that will do nothing but cause you pain. It's alright if you don't remember them, you don't have to. They won't-
-They've red eyes and scars like mine.
Alice's words die down at that statement.
-You remember them?- She asks, feeling both surprised and a bit confused, how could he remember them? Recognize their names so fast? He hadn't reacted to her name let alone her face when she first found him.
And while she knew she shouldn't, a little part of her felt jealous, and she felt awful for that, why was she feeling jealous over something like that? Of course he would remember Peter, he was his brother, he who never let him down and covered his back for years, fought alongside him and went back for him.
His relationship with Peter was stronger than theirs ever was, after all, they just knew each other for a year and a half, how could that compete against Peter? When he had spent over a decade by Jasper's side?
She wondered if this is how Charlotte had felt with Jasper, jealous that someone else seemed to be more important to her mate than her. Such awful thoughts. She shouldn't think about such things, it was childish, selfish and just flat out stupid.
Right now Jasper was much more important than who came up first in his memories. Thus, she crushed down that childish jealousy.
-I don't remember 'em.- Jasper's voice brings her back to the present, he seems troubled.- I feel like I do, but at the same time I don't, and… I don't know. - The more Jasper tried to grab onto the memories from the ones with red eyes and the scars, the more he could feel the claws of steel slicing through his skull, aiming to split it open and rip his brain out.
And he found himself clutching his head as a wave of dizziness hit him. Anger and frustration seeps in, and he clutches harder, because who were Peter and Charlotte?
Alice said Peter had been his friend, like a brother to him, Charlotte was Peter's mate, their relationship had been a bit complicated, but some might have also called them friends.
And he felt like he knew them, but the damn blurred shapes refused to clear, it felt like water slipping through his fingers, becoming nothing but mud beneath his feet, multicolored mud, thick, smudged, impossible to figure out mud.
God, he hated this, he hated not knowing, hated not being able to remember, to know he should know, to feel like he knew, but being unable to put the broken pieces together.
Peter and Charlotte. Peter and Charlotte.
Who were they? Who were they? He knew, he didn't knew , he knew, he didn't knew.
There was a flash of something that slammed through his head like a sledgehammer being brought down right at the back of his skull, forcing him to curl in on himself with a strangled sound, blurred and white, so white, white drops, white white white. Drip drip drip.
Someone was screaming, and it was burning again, his head hurt, his brain, his skull, it hurt, his chest was tight, his head was tearing itself apart, felt like claws flaying it all from the inside out, and God, his insides were burning, he wanted to scream.
Thuderclaps, rain, mud, a farm, red eyes, scars, who was it who was it who was it?! He didn't knew he didn't knew he didn't knew-!
-Jasper!
Jasper's whole body jerked as Alice's voice pierced through the glitching memories and bleeding whispers, through the burning in his insides and the melting stitches that blended the world behind the shattered glass into a blurred mess of pain, desperation and more pain.
And into the panic haze he was in, one single thing resurfaced with such strength the world around him struck white.
"Are you sure 'bout these Cullens?"- A blond man questioned, he was sitting across from him, an indecipherable look on his face.
And still, he could feel his concern, doubt.
"I don't know…"- He admitted, his eyes traveling to settle outside, the sun was setting.
"You do know there's no way such a large coven can be deemed harmless, right? Much less with a mind reader among their mist."- The blond man said, uncertainty in his eyes.
"I know, but I can hardly say they'll pose a problem were things to go wrong."- He told as a statement of fact, turning back to look at the blond, he was regarded with a long look before the blond's eyes widened, surprise taking over.
"You're going on your own volition, you seriously wanna meet 'em."- Disbelief tickled at his skin, shock, surprise.
"... I guess I do, if there's such a place as one where I can regain some semblance of normalcy… it sounds interestin', borin', but interestin'. It would be a nice change of pace..."
"You're mad."- Was the answer he got as the blond shock his head, and still, there was a hint of amusement in the air.- "But if that's what you want I won't stop you."
He smiled.
~
Maybe bringing up Peter and Charlotte to Jasper hadn't been such a great idea, maybe Alice should have waited a bit more.
But the fact that he had managed to refer to Peter and Charlotte as "red eyed with scars like mine" implied that he did have a mild idea of who they were.
Meant his memories might not be as completely gone as she had feared, he could still remember so far back…
Still.
Alice hadn't expected him to react like he did, though she should have known better than to prod into Jasper's memories, to attempt to see how much could he remember, or if he could even remember at all.
Carlisle had said so, it didn't matter how sane Jasper looked or was right now, those episodes he had were nothing but proof that he was still tethering over the edge where the slightest trigger could send him to a point of no return.
There was a reason why no vampire could ever survive long after being put back together after a decapitation. Their mind was broken, some couldn't take on the weight of having a blank mind, of getting nothing but glimpses that might never let themselves be seen clearly.
His desperation to know might end up being his own demise.
He had broken out into a letanny of "I don't know", had grabbed his head with an odd look that had soon developed into a frown as if he was hoping to make sense of something.
And then Jasper sucked in a sharp breath, flinching as if he had been struck before grabbing his head and curling in on himself with a strangled sound.
Alice cursed for not seeing this outcome. Had she unknowingly pushed too far? Jasper's fingers left his hair, fingernails digging into his cheeks as he began shaking, his breathing erratic and his heartbeat accelerated as he kept mumbling "I don't know".
-Hey hey hey, it's okay.- Alice is quick to interject, grabbing Jasper's wrists when he began scratching at his skin too hard for it to be left alone, bloody fingernail prints left behind.
-Oh shit.- Emmett sucked in a sharp breath as he came to an abrupt halt at the door, having smelt the blood and heard Alice's concern.
-Emmett, not helping.- Alice snaps stiffly, she hadn't meant to make him get like this, she had just asked what was meant to be a harmless question, he wasn't suppose to react like this.
But he did.
And now he's hurting himself and she can't make him stop.
-You didn't knew.- Edward's words don't put Alice at ease at all. He's standing by the door with Emmett, his eyes focused on Jasper, his mind is an absolute mess of distorted glitches and multiple high-pitched frequencies that seem to be voice.
The noise of it all threatens to give him a headache like nothing he's ever experienced, he fights to see past that, see if he can get something, anything.
All as Alice tries and fails to calm him down.
And in a moment of absolute desperation Alice's voice rises.
-Jasper!
Jasper's whole body jerked violently at Alice's voice, but rather than snapping out of it his eyes snapped to attention, falling on nothing and at the same time on everything, eyes wild with near crazed hysteria, but just as quick it was gone as he acquired a far away look.
That's when Edward saw it.
The clearest thing he had seen so far from Jasper's mind.
A blond man with red eyes.
Peter.
-He knows who Peter is.- He whispers, because he has the feeling that such clear memory is definitely bound to stick with much more precision than the negative ones he's had so far.
He feels a bit faint, because what he just heard from their conversation has rattled him to the core, all he's ever known or thought about The Major has shattered into a million pieces.
Because that had been The Major before a broken mind, knowing about the Cullens, wanting to give it a chance to a normal life. Without any ill intent, he had genuinely wanted to give this life a chance.
To start anew in a place where he wouldn't have to fight or kill.
And Edward found himself feeling… sympathy for him, and something akind to anger like nothing he ever thought himself capable of feeling for a man that had killed thousands.
It was almost unfair how his chance to start anew as a better person had been ripped from him, by people who just wanted to keep him as a weapon.
-What?- Alice asks, not sure she had heard right, he remembered Peter?
-I saw him talking with Peter about joining us, his thoughts on it…
Edward's words… Alice felt hope seize her, she knew when that one must have been, around five months after they first met, they had spent a few months with Peter and Charlotte, Jasper had wanted her to meet them.
And of course she had been more than happy about it, because Peter was practically his brother, meeting him had been the closest she could ever get at meeting his family.
Plus, it had been nice to meet the same person who had saved Jasper from that horrible place, he who kept him company and protected him when he couldn't protect himself.
Point was, if he could remember Peter, it meant he could retrieve bigger memories, more than just glimpses, that had to be good, right?
But still…
The reaction it evoked from him wasn't a good one, she could smell the blood, she was still holding his wrists, though he was now extremely still, head bowed.
It unnerved her.
-Jazz?- She called, kneeling before him to get a better look at his face, his gaze was glazed over, unfocused, he still looked very much not quite there, but at least his breathing had gone back to normal, same as his heartbeat.
And he wasn't mumbling anymore.
-Jazz? You alright?- She asks, feeling concern starting to set in at his unresponsive state, lazy silver eyes settled on her.
-Frightenin' little monster.
If that nickname alone wasn't enough to freeze Alice to the core the flash of a deeper and much more raw recognition in his gaze sure did.
And then he was out.
Alice barely had any time to spring up and catch him, her eyes wide, because why did he call her that? He had only used that nickname on her whenever he was proud of her. And that gaze… it had felt like her old Jasper had been the one staring straight at her, how…
-He's starting to remember, much clearer I would bet.- Edward said, staring at Jasper's bloodied hands, his memories about Peter and the apparent nickname…
Were strong and much clearer memories capable of triggering him? Push his mind enough to threaten to ignite it all back? That look he gave Alice… that's the most right look he's ever seen on him since he was found at the church.
Like he was completely aware of everything and everyone. Like he truly knew who Alice was.
~
Jasper woke up with a flinch and a shudder, he felt sore, all his muscles were aching and his head was pounding.
And still, his mind feels much clearer than it's done in a long time, but at the same time… he feels nauseous.
Because suddenly, it hits him, the blurred shapes become clearer, the broken pieces of glass come together.
And then all he can see is dozens of people he doesn't recognize, he can hear the screams, marble breaking, pleas, curses, cries, he can smell the blood, the venom, see the bodies scattered all over the ground, fields filled with nothing corpses, hands stained in red, clothes soaking in red.
Above it all a woman in a red dress wearing a much too familiar jacket is at, her dark hair and red eyes making him whimper.
"-Good soldiers show no mercy!"- She shouted, fire splashing his cheek as her hand connected with his face.
The image shifted, she was now looming above, a bright red fire pocker clasped firmly in her hand, he was curled on the ground clutching his chest, heaving gasps leaving him as he struggled to breathe past the fire in his chest.
"Why must you always make everything so complicated?"- She raised the fire pocker.
The image shifted.
"-I made you! You belong to me, whether you like or not and if I tell you to do something I expect you to do it!"- Chains burn his wrists as his arms bent over his head in the most excruciating and unhealthy way possible, shoulders dislocated.
She yanks his shirt open, pulling a silver knife out of her jacket, his jacket, that's his jacket, was his jacket.
The knife plunges into his ribs.
The image shifts again.
-Traitors like you deserve worse treatments. You should be grateful this is all I'm doing to you.- María's words were clipped as she spoke. The sound of chains clinking together deafening in the silence of the barn. The stench of venom was heavy in the air, the crippling of the fire.
She had slaughtered the newborns for she didn't want to be interrupted. Their panic and fear still stuck to him like a layer of bitter stickiness. Anger. Pain. Resentment.
The chains were tight and hot against the skin of his wrists, and were he human, there would be no circulation at this point. Wouldn't be able to breathe at all due the uncomfortable position his shoulders were in. He hung in the air. His shirt long ago shredded to pieces .
-'m sorry, it won't happen again, ma'am.- His voice came out broken. Useless. Pitiful. He should know that begging would lead nowhere, much less when he was lying.
A hand connected with his face sending a ripple of pain across his neck as his head turned away by the impact. Rage flaring like a wildfire and burning his skin. Her fingers grabbing his throat in a crushing hold. Fiery eyes blazing with fury.
-Of course it won't happen again!
Wood pierced his stomach and a cry stuck at the back of his throat. Acid filling the air as his blood dripped on the ground. She pushed the piece of wood further and further until it pierced his stomach and came out of his back. He threw his head back and tightened his jaw in a vain attempt to keep the sounds in.
But he failed.
Once she twisted the wood a scream tore out of his throat. Pain flaring in his stomach.
-This, is your own fault. I want you to remember that, none of this would be happening if you just listened to me.
Fire ignited on his ribs as he felt her sink her teeth on his skin. The chains rattled as he flinched, coughing up blood as the jerk flared even more agony in his stomach. She bit again, and again, and again. Traveling from his ribs, down to his waist, and hip bone. She twisted the wood once again and he choked on a scream, yanking on the chains.
-You break those chains and you know what will happen, Jasper.- María warned as she stepped back.
-'m sorry, it won't happen again ma'am, I promise, it was a reflex.
-Good.- She knelt before him and he heard the rip of fabric as she tore at the pant's legs, felt her pull his boots off.
And when he saw her begin to walk towards the door he knew what was coming.
-No, please, no, 'm sorry, 'm so sorry please don't.- He found himself begging against his will. She turned to look at him, a sadistic smile splitting across her face as she came to a stop at the door. Her hand coming to rest on the knob.
-But you aren't really sorry, are you?
She opened the door.
The fire that ignited his legs as the sun leaked in tore another scream out of his throat as he yanked on the chains and kicked in the air. His skin sizzling and his blood boiling under the impact of light.
-The chains Jasper. You won't want to break them would you?
-No! Sorry no no.- He fought to keep himself calm. Calm. Stop moving. Stop moving. But he couldn't, because his legs were screaming and his stomach was screaming. Acid filling the air. Acid. Black. Dripping. Drip. Drip. Drip.
The chains snapped.
And dropping to the ground did nothing but set the world ablaze.
A hand grabbed him and he knew what was coming. And in a surge of blind panic he lashed.
The image distorted, exploding like multicolored glass.
"-I told you, you belong to me, I didn't waste my time raising you to acquire the reputation you have right now so you could just abandon me and be with someone else."- Chains burn his ankles, his wrists, a muzzle strapped to his face, she's kneeling before him.
Close, so close, her teeth splitting skin open across his neck, her venom spreading like a mantle of fire across his neck, collarbone. He sucks in a sharp breath.
"-Maybe I should remind you who's the reason you're alive right now."- A hand rests on his knee, going up and up and-
"No!"
The shout reverberated across his mind like a sledgehammer coming down on his skull.
The world went black.
~
Alice knew about The Major, she had met him several times during her time with Jasper, but it hadn't even occurred to her that he might still be there…
But as she watched him pressing himself against the wall… those eyes, he was curled on the floor on the furthest corner of the room, the bedsheets were destroyed and he looked extremely pale.
The lamp was on the ground, lightbulb shattered into a million pieces, so that's what she had heard earlier.
And still…
Something about his gaze made her heart sink, because there should be no fear in there, he was never afraid, never one to cower, never one to look so… terrified.
And the second he looked at her, the second his eyes grew impossibly wide.
-No… you're not suppose to be here. You're not suppose to be here. Why are you here? You're not suppose to be here.- His voice alone sent shivers down Alice's spine, because he sounded so desperated.
He was clutching his hair, staring at her in absolute horror.
-Hey, hey it's alright, you're alright.- She is quick to assure as she approaches him, he presses himself even more against the wall, clutching his head even more as she comes to kneel before him.
-You're not suppose to be here.
-Hey, look at me.- She calls softly, carefully grabbing his wrists, coaxing him to release his hair, he was gonna hurt himself if he kept it up. He flinched at her touch, yanking his hands away.
-Why are you here? You're not suppose to be here. 'm sorry, I tried to buy you time, did I fail? 'm sorry. I-
-That's enough!- Alice cut off, grabbing his face so he would look at her, his eyes were glazed over, and he was looking everywhere but at her.
And now he was shaking.
-You're not suppose to be here.
And there he went again, it confused Alice on what did he meant with that, but those glazed eyes… was he trapped in some sort of flashback?
Edward did said he had an overwhelming rush of memories, he couldn't tell them apart, but one thing had been predominant.
The screams.
And the woman in a red dress.
It didn't took her much to figure out who that was. María.
But he was speaking of made no sense whatsoever, did he even remember her? The way he was talking gave her the impression that yes, he knew perfectly well who she was, but then why didn't Jasper?
It confused her.
-Where am I not suppose to be at?- She ends up asking, needing to know where is his mind at right now.
-He knows, I couldn't outrun the wolf, and now he knows, he knows, and now you're here, you're not suppose to be here.- He was staring at the ceiling now, eyes wide and breathing heavy.
-Hey, can you look at me?- Alice requests, leaning over and pressing their foreheads together, her thumbs stroking his cheeks, it doesn't seem to calm him at all.- You're not at the church nor wherever else you think we are at. This is the Cullens' house, and you're completely safe here, I promise. You were the one who attacked Edward, right? Then you know I'm telling the truth, they mean you no harm.
It wasn't until now that it occurred to her that the reason Jasper hadn't remembered attacking Edward and Jacob was because theoretically speaking, it hadn't been him.
The Major was.
-What's that suppose to mean?- Edward's voice from downstairs made her scowl.
"Not now."- She tunes out whatever else he said. Right now her mate was the priority, couldn't Edward just keep quiet?
-There's a wolf. You've to run, he's comin'.
-Jacob means you no harm, and he's not a werewolf, I told him, you must surely know too, right?
He didn't answer.
-Look around you, you're in my bedroom, not a basement, take a deep breath and tell me what you can feel, hear or smell.- She requested, still stroking his cheeks.
-... Flowers… wood, nice wood… six vampires, they're anxious, confused, wary… worried?
That seemed to be enough to get some apparent clearness in his gaze, he still looked nervous, hesitant, but he wasn't as terrified as before.
-They're worried about you because they care about you.- She told him as a statement of fact.
He didn't seem to believe her, understandable, he was never one to trust with ease, it had taken her over a year before he stopped glaring at her whenever he took over. A year of glares, insults and flat out despise.
It had burnt, but she hadn't given up, because he was part of Jasper, and at the end, he had been like that just to protect Jasper from what he saw as a most dangerous threat.
Patience and stubbornness had at the end paid off, because he did grew to accept that she meant no harm, that she did love them, she wasn't María, she wasn't after his skills or power, she didn't order him around, scream at him or hit him, and she certainly didn't force herself on him.
Point was, he didn't trust people with ease, even if the Cullens had been nothing but kind these past months it's been just that, three months.
In his eyes, too little time to actually believe strangers cared about him.
But that was alright, there would be time for him to learn to trust them.
-'m sorry.
That caught her attention, he wasn't looking at her anymore.
-What for?
-Aro couldn't read our memories, but he still found out.
-That's not your fault, I'm the one who messed up.- Alice said, he shouldn't blame himself for things he had nothing to do with, she was the one who messed up. Not him, never him.
-No, I should've tried harder to shapeshift, shouldn't have let the wolf catch up, he said it was one chance, to not expect a second one if I didn't make it…
Surprise hit Alice at those last words. He? Who was he? Did someone set him free on purpose?
-Someone let you out?
-... The man with the long hair, not Aro, the other one, the one who looks like he's in pain.- His words made Alice frown as she realized who he meant.
-Marcus? Why would he do that?
-I don't know, he said he was givin' me a chance to not end up like him, whatever that meant. But I failed, I didn't see him again after that.
Alice frowned at his words, she knew what Marcus might have meant with that, it was no secret he had lost his mate, Eleazar once said he suspected it might have been Aro himself the one who killed her.
His own sister.
All so as to control Marcus, Alice found it sick. And she wasn't sure what to think about Marcus having let Jasper go because he didn't want him to end up like him.
Unlikely, Aro had left clear that he no longer cared about The Major's skills, he hadn't cared about destroying his mind.
The one he wanted now was Alice.
-Why do you remember me, but not him?
-I don't know.
-Does he blame me for what happened?
Do you blame me for what happened?
Alice resisted the urge to add.
-No. - He didn't even hesitate to answer, his hands coming up to rest on top of hers.- Neither of us does, some things are inevitable, he was just glad you weren't there when they came.
Of fucking course he would be glad she wasn't there , that damn overprotective fool could never, for once in his life think about his own safety.
And still, something irked at her about his words.
-Who was it?- She asks, needing to once and for all put face to the bastards who took Jasper from her.
-... María came first, we thought she wanted to argue, we ran across her twice when we were with Peter and Charlotte, she always started arguin' and ended up tryin' to fight us…
Not this time. And he would forever curse how damn stupid he had been that night.
-She'd vervain with her, should've smelt it, don't know why we didn't smelt it… Caius came next, he'd a silver knife, we dodged him many times, but failed several, and then came the old man with a fire gift. The old man was faster and much more agile than expected, shouldn't have underestimated him.
But he did.
And look where that got them.
Decades protecting Jasper and he failed in the most shameful way possible. He was suppose to be the strongest, the worst of the worst.
And he couldn't even punch an old man.
It makes him nauseous, even more so remembering what came after, it had been like being back in the South.
But worse.
So much worse.
Their limbs had been torn apart, over, and over, and over again. As if they were nothing but a mere puzzle to have fun with.
There had been so many bites, so many hits, so many weeks without food.
The stabs, the chains, the fire, the sunlight, the humiliation, the emotional overload that led to brain splitting meltdowns, the touches, the mockery, the touches, so many touches.
It made him feel disgusted with himself, a failure who claimed to be the strongest of the strongest but that couldn't outrun a wolf, couldn't shapeshift past the locked muscles, couldn't even protect the one person he cared about.
He felt like all he ever thought about himself was nothing but bullshit, he was weak, pathetic, disgusting.
And if it was up to him, he would rather keep Jasper from remembering, because if he does, if he sees all those rotten memories, he doesn't think he might be able to protect him.
Not this time.
He couldn't protect him, he couldn't do anything at all.
At this point, Jasper was better off without him, he was useless.
-'m sorry.- Is the last thing he says before he's pushing away from the light, he can't do this, he's absolutely pathetic, weak, a failure of the worst kind.
All that pride and arrogance had done nothing in the end, for he had ended up becoming the prey of those he had claimed to be weaker than him.
Pathetic.
~
Alice stared at Jasper, he was unconscious again, The Major had retreated with no warning whatsoever, it irked at her, to remember his voice, in the past, his voice had been rougher than Jasper's, cold, sharp.
Now it had been flat out small, defeated, afraid.
What the hell had been done to him? Not even María's torture ever managed to break him, so what the hell happened?
And still, he remembered her, if he remembered her… that meant Jasper might end up remembering her too. There was still hope.
She sighed, caressing his cheek softly, she leaned down, giving him an Eskimo kiss before pulling back.
She still had to speak with the others, she knew an explanation was in order, but it bothered her the idea of speaking about something Jasper hadn't felt comfortable sharing, but she knew the Cullens would understand.
This wasn't the 1800's nor the 1900's, he wasn't gonna get thrown into a padded room nor strapped to a bed with electroshocks for something he wasn't at fault for.
She sighed, she had to force herself to leave his side, she didn't want to leave him, not now, not when she had no idea how he might wake up, did he remember something? Would it be The Major again? Jasper? What? Edward said the snippets he got were horrible, the fact that he had looked so pale had been nothing but proof of it.
And still.
She went downstairs.
The others were at the living room of course, waiting.
-The Major's an alter.
Carlisle's words didn't surprise Alice, of course he wouldn't have much trouble figuring it out, he was a doctor, and he's seen lots of things in his job, knew others to aid him into his job…
-Alter? Like Split alter?
Alice glared at Emmett at the comparison.
And still.
-Yes, The Major… he's the reason Jasper survived the South, how he managed to come out… well, sane.- She didn't like using that word to describe it, but there was no other way of putting it.
The Major had been Jasper's guardian angel, that's why Jasper didn't remember the worst of the abuse he endured at the hands of María. Memories that were way too painful for him to recall, his anger and pain... all of the bad things.
The Major had kept it to himself so Jasper wouldn't suffer.
What he had called a broken mind… it had been nothing but his mind's attempt at coping with the trauma María had subjected him to for decades .
-Is it just one or are there more?- Carlisle questions, he needed to know what he had unknowingly let into his home, he understood that this condition was born as the mind's way of coping with extreme traumatic situations, and that Jasper wasn't at fault for what the alters might do.
He needed to be aware if there were more, what to look for, he had heard Alice, he was the one who had attacked Edward and Jacob, a knowledge that made him feel terrible over the reminder of how he had been locked in his room.
Over something he didn't do.
He's never heard of a vampire developing such a thing though, The Major…
He had no idea how to feel about the fact that The Major was an alter, a protector for what Alice's words led to believe, an extremely violent protector.
To create such a creature… in how much pain had he been, how afraid he must have been… for the alter to come out so impossibly brutal?
God.
-It's just one, in the past, it came a point where he just came out whenever Jasper felt threatened enough to think he might need a more… brutal approach. But I'm not sure what might trigger him now.
Because he had been off, so different from what she remembered…
And Alice couldn't help but wonder what was wrong with him, why was he so afraid? What had they done to him to make him so seemingly afraid?
A/N: Not gonna lie, The Major becoming a mess bc of the torture was actually inspired from Hulk in Infinity War and how seemingly terrified he became after Thanos beat his ass and he refused to come out, bruh went from wanting to punch everything at any given opportunity to not wanting to come out even if Bruce was being thrown around like a ragdoll