-She is gonna be back soon, you know?- Emmett comments.
And of course Jasper ignores him.
-Come on man, let's go inside, Carlisle said you shouldn't spend so much time under the sun.- Emmett said. A stubborn look was his answer this time.
It's been over a week since Alice told Jasper about their relationship, and ever since then Jasper's been clinging to her way more than he used to, if she was sitting, he would be there, leaning against her, if she was standing, there would he be, right by her side holding her hand, if she was in the shower, he would sit outside the bathroom until she came out, and the few times she did leave him he would look like his whole world is falling apart.
Alice didn't seem to mind, but Emmett couldn't help but feel like that was a bit too much, like a puppy or a cat following you all over the place, but he guessed that in a way, it made sense, dude just found out that the woman he's been infatuated with these past months is actually his mate, and that they were together for a year and a half.
A lot could happen in a year and a half, though Emmett tried to not think about that, he didn't need that kind of mental pictures about his sister thank you very much.
Point is, he could somewhat see what would lead him to cling to her, but it was still a bit obsessive.
-You can wait for her inside too, waiting here won't make her come back any sooner.
This time, Jasper glares at him as he looks up from where he's sitting at the porch, waiting for Alice to come back, she had gone out hunting with Edward, though something told Emmett Edward had just taken Alice out to tell her about whatever the hell he had seen in Jasper's mind.
Guy's been extremely weird since that day.
Point is.
Jasper's gotten the habit to glare at people, and he's even started growling at Jacob whenever this one gets too close to Alice, Emmett guessed that was good, right? At least he wasn't cowering nor sulking like before.
And he also guessed that had to do with the fact that he had seemingly recuperated a chunk of his memories from his time in the South.
That had made him develop quite the unnerving glare, and he had acquired the habit to look hiss and growl whenever he got upset. He was less skittish and had begun leaning more on the hostile side, but not quite.
It was kind of like dealing with a tamed cat who started hissing and growling at people for no reason whatsoever but because he was upset and he didn't knew how to deal with it.
His posture has also become much more straight, like, ramrod straight , it reminded Emmett of a soldier, but again, he had been a soldier. A friggin Civil War soldier.
Odd enough, even if he seemed to have retrieved those memories, he still clung to Alice, even if he couldn't remember her.
Still.
Emmett sighed at his glare, he had liked him more when he was less prompt to look at people like he wanted to claw their face off for the sole action of asking him to do something he didn't want to.
-You like human food, right? I think there are popsicles in the fridge, want one?
That seemed to pick his interest, good. So Alice had been right, it was easier to make him compliant if there was food involved.
-What's a popcycle?
-A popsicle , it's kind of like ice cream, but on a stick, the ones we have are the colored ones, Renesmee likes the orange ones and Jacob the purple ones, but there's red ones too. Those are more like frozen juice.- Emmett explains, Jasper stares at him.
And then.
-Alright then, I would like one.- He conceded, holding his hand out for Emmett to take, that was another thing, while he still didn't like people touching him he had become less stubborn when he knew he needed help to stand up or at the stairs.
Emmett grabbed his hand before pulling him up, careful as he did, while the wound on his chest was mostly healed, he was still healing, even his legs were still healing, so he had to be gentle, Alice would have his head if he hurt him, accident or not.
She didn't had be so worried, against popular belief Emmett could be gentle when needed to, but he guessed Alice was just paranoid, he got it, he would be paranoid too if he were in her shoes.
He didn't even know how she did it, it would kill him if he were to see Rosalie like this, to see her so broken and know there was nothing he could do to avenge her without giving the enemy what they wanted.
At times it made him realize just how strong Alice was, she was much tougher than he gave her credit for.
He led Jasper to the kitchen, motioning for him to sit on the stool while he went over to the fridge and grabbed one of the red popsicles, he shut the door, grabbed a plate from the cabinet before going back to Jasper.
-The plate is for if it starts melting.- He explains as he puts the plate infront of him before handing him the popsicle.- Here, open it like you opened the bag of cookies Bella gave you.- Emmett instructed, Jasper's been eating a lot of human food lately, or more like everyone's been offering him snacks left and right.
Lucky guy, Emmett would kill for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, or chocolate chip cookies, he could barely remember the taste, but he knew it had been one of his favorite things to eat when he was human.
Though Jasper couldn't eat much human food, Carlisle had warned them against it, his body was still healing, he had to watch what he ate or he might end up throwing up.
Not that he ate much to begin with, he was a picky eater, most foods seemed to overwhelm him.
But he seemed to like the popsicle, so he guessed that went to the list of things he was okay with.
Emmett had to admit that if this guy left he might as well join Alice on the crying bit, because this guy seriously held no fear whatsoever when it came to games, he would play anything, and he would join Emmett's stupid games any day without hesitation.
He had Renesmee, and sometimes even Bella, but there's something about a brother that just hits different, Edward's always been a goody two shoes, so finally getting a brother who doesn't fear doing stupid things with him is amazing.
Plus, half of the time he gets to use Jasper to lessen Esme and/or Carlisle's disappointed looks or scoldings, he's for the time being much too pitiful to get mad at, immune to scoldings.
Emmett had to make him exploit that while he still could.
-Can I ask you something?- He questions, he's regarded with a half interested look.- Is it true that you can fly?
Emmett's been wanting to ask this for quite a while now, because flight was on the black bloods' list of abilities. And how cool could that be? He's never heard of a vampire acquiring a gift for flight, that was a black blood's trait.
He isn't quite sure what to do with the silence he's met with.
And then.
-... Yes.- Jasper concedes, looking down at the plate where reddish drops have fallen at.
-Can I see?
Jasper feels his stomach twist at the question, and he hunched inwardly, he feels nauseous, suddenly, the popsicle didn't taste as sweet anymore, and he can't help but put it down, his knees hurt and he reaches out to touch them, eyes squeezed shut.
"-Next time, keep your feet on the ground and we won't have to go through this, yes?"- Aro is talking, there's fire on his knees, such obliterating fire, he can feel the cold sweat trickling down his temple, the nausea.
Blood pools beneath him, sticking between his fingers, clinging to his clothes, his shoulders shake as he struggles to drag himself across the ground.
"-My, still running?"- Jasper's heart skips a beat at the voice, breath hitching, he can hear the footsteps, and he tries to move faster, forces himself onto his feet regardless of the explosion of agony that seizes his legs.
He runs.
Or at least he tries to, it's dark, much too dark, he can't see where he's going, but he runs, laughter echoes somewhere, amusement slicing through his skin like a broken blade that lodges halfway through his flesh.
As he turns, he hits a wall, abruptly coming to a dead end, the force of the impact so unexpected he's sent crashing to the ground, the footsteps are closer, closer closer.
"-There you are."- The man says, a smile splitting across his face, he snarls at him, but that doesn't deter the man, harsh hands grab his ankles.-"Why do you insist on making everything so difficult? If you want to blame someone for this, blame yourself."
The sound of skin slowly tearing reached his ears, pain exploding onto his knees as a scream tore out of his throat, he tried to kick, but another red robe appeared, holding him down, and he could do nothing but twist and writhe on the ground, feeling as the skin from his legs was slowly ripped apart, muscles sliced open, bones breaking.
It hurt.
God it hurt.
He couldn't breathe, couldn't see past the blurred mess, he couldn't feel anything but pain, pain, oh sweet blinding pain. His skin was tearing open, open, open, open-!
Bitter cold fingers grabbed his shoulder in a death grip, making his muscles be set ablaze right beneath his skin.
He screamed.
And the hands kept grabbing him, tearing his skin open, flames licking his bones, red fire.
But even in his daze of agony something pierced through it.
A voice like a rumble making the whole place shake with the force of an earthquake.
And even then, he wasn't able to make out the words, all he knew is that he wanted the hands off, off, off, off-!
A burning sting burst across his cheek, filling his world with light and blurred images, gold, he swung his claws at it, quickly scrambling away, back hit something, his heart was threatening to rip right through his chest.
And he still couldn't breathe, he was gasping, but the air was too thin, he was freezing, he was burning, needles streaming down his cheeks, acid filling his mouth.
He was dying."
~
Emmett has absolutely no idea what the hell he does wrong, had he known asking such a seemingly harmless question would cause this he wouldn't have asked it at all.
Because Jasper had begun shaking, hunching over as his breathing shifted, becoming as fast as his heartbeat, fingers clutching his knees.
And no matter how much Emmett tried to call him he wouldn't respond, and so he did the worst possible thing one could do.
He touched his shoulder, it was a light touch, but it seemed to be enough to get Jasper flipping out, because he cried out, loud, such pain in his voice for a moment Emmett considered the fact that he might have actually hurt him.
But he wasn't hurt.
Jasper quickly tried to get off the stool, away, but his ankle got caught in the stool and he tripped, Emmett instinctively grabbed his arm so as to keep him from falling, didn't stop Jasper from hitting himself with the edge of the countertop, the reek of acid filling the air.
-Shit, man are you-
Emmett didn't even got to speak before Jasper was straightening back up and swirling around, his eyes wild and unfocused.
No recognition whatsoever.
Fuck, this wasn't him getting glimpses of memories.
It was a fucking flashback. He should have seriously checked before touching him.
He released his arm at the exact same time Jasper swung his claws at him, missing his face for mere seconds, Emmett dodging the attack in the nick of time, stepping back.
Jasper dropped on the ground, quickly scrambling away from him, back hitting the wall, he was shaking terribly, looking way too pale, even for vampire standards, a thin trail of black blood running down his chin from where he had seemingly busted his lip, eyes wild, tears streaming down his face, breathing erratic, he looked…
He looked terrified.
Emmett can count on one hand the amount of people that has ever looked at him with that kind of fear, as if he were the most terrible monster in the world.
Still.
Emmett didn't let that affect him, now that he knew what was wrong he could aim to help him, he's dealt with these kind of attacks before, dozen of times, from Rosalie, they have become less frequent throughout the years, but the point stands, he knows what to do.
He kicks himself mentally for taking so long to notice the signs in the first place.
He kneels on the ground, first thing first was to make himself look less menacing. A bit of a hard endeavor when he was so big, but at least kneeling down would make him look less menacing.
Then.
-Hey, it's okay man, you're safe, whatever it's it can't hurt you.- Emmett said, his voice soft, he doesn't miss the way Jasper curled even tighter, fingers digging into his knees, that definitely would hurt later once the adrenaline died down.- I'm not gonna hurt you, I would never hurt you.
Emmett tries to reassure, he makes a point to keep his emotions as calm as possible, remembering that he was dealing with an empath here.
-You aren't there anymore, I'm Emmett, remember? Carlisle brought you home three months ago, with Alice.- The last name seemed to do the trick because he frowned.
Good.
Emmett took that as his chance, he wasn't sure how long he spent there kneeling on the ground and talking to him, but at some point his gaze stopped looking as unfocused, but even then he didn't move a single inch.
He stayed there, all curled up in on himself, he was still shaking a bit, but his heartbeat was starting to slow down, his breathing was even, and he wasn't crying anymore, so Emmett tried to not worry too much.
Usually, he would hug Rosalie after a flashback, but this wasn't Rosalie, and Emmett knew not everyone was the same, so, not knowing what else to do he just sat there, waiting.
-'m sorry.- Came the soft whisper after a while, Emmett frowned.
-What for? I'm the one who should be apologizing man, I'm the one who messed up.
Silence was his answer, he was hiding now, fingers clutching his hair, but since he wasn't tugging on it Emmett didn't attempt to stop him. He wasn't sure what to do here, they have been getting along so well, he hadn't meant to fuck it up.
But how was he suppose to know that kind of question would trigger him? None of them even knew what might trigger him and what not. Like when he attacked Edward and Jacob, although that hadn't been him exactly, he had still been having a flashback.
At least this time The Major hadn't come out, and he hadn't tried to kill him, because even though Emmett liked to think he could overpower him, he couldn't be too sure.
This guy might have a lot of issues, but he was still an empath, and he also had his memories from the South, meant he knew perfectly well how to fight back if provoked.
And no one here would stand a chance against him.
Emmett just knew it.
~
Four days.
That's how long it's been since Jasper's last episode.
Four days since he's been sitting in the corner of his room, refusing to so much as speak or even eat.
And Alice had no idea what to do with him, she's tried talking to him, sitting with him, holding food out for him, leaving the blood bag infront of him, the venom.
But he won't so much as twitch.
Emmett had said that all he had asked was if it was true he could fly, and if he could show him.
That was all.
He had apologized to Emmett and he had come back to his room, and he's been there for the past four days.
Alice couldn't even touch him because he would flinch and start shaking.
And she hated it, he was starving himself, and sitting all curled up, and on top of that, Carlisle said that if he didn't start walking around again his knees might not heal right, and if his knees didn't heal right he might not be able to run, and if he can't run he won't be able to hunt, to survive at all.
And while she wouldn't mind hunting for him for the rest of their lives she doesn't want him to let himself fall that low, Carlisle had warned her before that he might present signs of depression, it would be understandable considering what he's gone through.
But that didn't meant Alice could let him waste away, it was her job to stay positive for the both of them, he needed her.
But Christ, he was so infuriatingly stubborn.
It didn't matter what she did he refused to respond, and using force would do nothing but make him worse.
And still, she couldn't even bring herself to be harsh with him.
Not when all she could do was remember Edward's words.
About what María had done to him, both in the South and after. And she hates it, she hates it more than she could ever begin to explain.
"She was touching him, I didn't see how far she went, but her words and how he reacted to it…"
It burnt to remember Edward's words, the implications behind that single sentence.
She wasn't stupid, she knew that not all the intimate moments he had had with María had been consensual, but it burnt on a whole new level to think she had done so again, because Alice didn't see them coming, she didn't see him being taken.
And it made her even more nauseous the fact that she had let such an horrible thing happen to him, again.
It was laughable, how she kept insisting about loving him, but she was the reason he had been completely destroyed.
And now…
She sighed, rolling on her back and staring at the ceiling, she was in her bedroom, she spent most of her time in Jasper's bedroom so he wouldn't be alone, but Carlisle had asked her to leave him alone, see if her absence could somehow make him react.
After all, he had grown quite clingy to her ever since she told him, she was yet to call Peter and Charlotte, she had wanted to make sure first he wouldn't have any other episode regarding that matter, let him process it before he has to face them.
Suddenly, the door opened, and as she turned to look she was quite surprised to be met with Jasper, he didn't said a word as he came straight towards her, he climbed on the bed and before she could even think about sitting up he was laying down by her side, burying his face against her neck, fingers clutching her shirt.
Well, seemed like Carlisle had been right, she brought her hand up to rest at the back of his head, fingers carding through his hair.
-How are you feeling?- She asks softly.
Silence.
-You do know Emmett didn't meant to upset you, right? He didn't know that whatever upset you would upset you, had he known, he wouldn't have said anything. He's a really nice guy, and he likes you, he would really like it if you were to still be friends.
More silence.
And then.
-I don't wanna fly.- Comes the soft whisper against her neck. She doesn't stop stroking his hair.
-You don't have to. No one is gonna make you do anything you don't want to.- Alice said, she wasn't sure where did that come from, Jasper had loved flying, he had once confessed to her that it was because when he did, he didn't have to watch his back, it was him and him alone in the air.
With no threats whatsoever.
He had taken her for a midnight flight several times, she remembers going through the clouds and rainbows, so close to the stars and the moon it felt like she could touch them even though those were millions of years away.
But the point stood, he had loved flying, it were the only times she could feel him completely relax, the only times he was completely unguarded, free.
The idea that those bastards had done something for him to grow terrified of doing something he had loved… it made her seethe, as if his inability to read right wasn't enough.
Because what else had they taken from him?
~
Jasper, against his better judgement, found himself seeking out Emmett, even if he still felt like he should seriously not approach him.
Because he had refused something so simple, the Cullens had been nothing but kind to him, had given him shelter, food, had tended to his wounds and even let him join into activities he shouldn't even be at, because he wasn't part of their family.
None of them had asked anything of him, they did everything without ever asking for anything in return.
And when someone finally asked for something, something so simple on top of it.
He went and messed it up, and it terrified him to no end the idea of Emmett being mad, even if there wasn't anger in the house, it made him nauseous.
Because in his current state he was such an easy target.
And Emmett was much more bigger than him, it didn't took a genius to know his strength might not be the average for a regular vampire. He couldn't anger him, one of the reasons he had let him pull him into his games was also in part because smart people knew that befriending the biggest person in a threatening environment was the most important move to make in order to survive.
Even when some of his memories came back, even when he knew who he was and what he did, he kept himself subdued, wanting to appear as harmless as possible, because these people had been nothing but kind to him.
He couldn't mess it up.
There was also Alice.
She had lied to him, and he had pondered for a moment if she had done so because she hadn't wanted to have anything to do with him anymore, after all, who would want such a damaged mate?
He had also pondered about if she had also lied about them being in a relationship, just so she could use him like María had done, but he couldn't find the deception, from the moment he first saw her she's been nothing but overly nice, as if there was more there.
And he had also felt it, the moment he saw her the moment he had felt like she was the most important person in the world, to him. All these feelings he had for her, he had kissed her once, over a week ago, and the reminder still filled him with dozens of sensations.
So, he chose to take the risk and stay.
Because it ate at him, she was the most beautiful woman he's ever met, so kind and warm he craved to be by her side forever, she was the pretty angel from his memories.
He's had just snippets of her, but it's enough to tell him their relationship had been good, and her feelings for him were so genuine… at times he found it hard to process them. To think someone could ever love a monster like him with the intensity she did.
Still.
Back to the point at hand.
Emmett.
Jasper needed to speak with him, whether he liked it or not, because he wanted to apologize properly, and because part of him might or might not be fixated on Alice's words.
"He likes you, he would really like it if you were to still be friends."
The idea of having a friend… of someone actually wanting to befriend him even after knowing the monster he was .
It made him feel… happy.
Because he's never had a friend, not one like this.
Peter and him became friends through covering each other's back and being there to put each other back or comfort each other when things got too rough.
He was… his brother, he who lived through hell alongside him, fought together, survived together.
But Emmett was… not a soldier.
He didn't knew what being torn apart felt like, to be brought to the ground and get mauled by newborns, he didn't knew how it felt like to not know if you might be able to feed today or not, to not watch his back every minute because someone might be lurking behind, to not be able to trust anyone but yourself.
Emmett was raised in a world where pain and fear wasn't even in his radar, where he would engulf the coven leader's mate in hugs just because , wouldn't hesitate to do things that might get him in trouble and tease the coven leader without an ounce of fear whatsoever, because yes, Jasper's seen it, Emmett wouldn't even blink when playing stupid pranks on Carlisle.
Like putting a bunch of those jello-like "stickers" on his car, hiding his car keys, changing the layout of the books in his studio, setting a squirrel free in his bedroom…
And Carlisle didn't even got mad, not even a little , exasperation was more like it, and sometimes even amusement.
But never anger.
It's weird how different Carlisle is from María.
He's regarded with respect because he is kind and fair, and because he's respectful to them , not because he beats them into submission, he doesn't scream nor does he hits, he doesn't threaten, he doesn't punish, he doesn't even orders around.
It had taken him a while to realize that there was no hidden method for him to control them, nothing at all, they were all just… there.
Like a family.
And it's clear the others trust him with their lives, they aren't afraid to play around, to ask him to wrestle them, to help them with something.
And Jasper hates it.
Because he wishes that could have been him.
He wishes Carlisle had been the one to come across him that night when he was on his way to Galveston.
Not María.
But he guesses, that had he not been turned by María, he would have never met Peter nor Charlotte, Peter might have gotten killed, same as Charlotte.
And the most important of it all.
He would have never met Alice.
He didn't remember her, but he could tell from a mile, that for whatever reason, she did love him, she cared about him, genuinely.
And she was nothing like María, she didn't scream at him, she didn't hit, insult, humiliate nor bit him, she never raised her hand at him, and she didn't touch him against his will, if he wasn't comfortable with something she would give him his space.
She hadn't even tried to kiss him.
And when she first found him she hadn't tried to take advantage of his clueless state to fill him with lies, she had been there, helping him with his wounds, walk around even when he didn't want to, she hadn't let him drown himself in self-pity, even when he stank she never pushed him away.
She had been so kind, so caring, so gentle, he didn't remember her and he was quite certain at this point, that he wouldn't hesitate to trust her with his life.
Because she had cared.
Even if he was broken.
-Jasper?- Emmett's sudden voice burst his bubble of thoughts, startling him, and he cursed as he stepped back, because he was still at the top of the damn stairs.
Yet, he didn't even go that far, because alarm hit him like a burst of wind, this before a strong grip snatched his arm, pulling him away from the stairs, it was so unexpected he couldn't coordinate himself right and he ended up tripping with his own foot and falling in the most undignifying way on the floor.
-Oh shit, sorry, sorry, shouldn't have let go.
-What's going on up there?- Came Esme's suspicious voice from the living room.
-Nothin' ma'am, I just tripped.- Jasper is quick to answer, he didn't want Emmett to get in trouble, his hearing was getting much better, still a bit below average, like listening from underwater.
But he had enough range now to have been able to hear Carlisle talking with Emmett about how he should be more careful, that while he knew it hadn't been his fault he should remember that Jasper had gone through a lot, and that what might be simple for them, might not be for him.
He had hated each word, he wasn't frail, he was weak, and pathetic, but he wasn't frail. He had never been a fan of being seen as "delicate" because of his… flashbacks, that's how Carlisle had called them when he had been explaining to him about the cause and effects of Post-traumatic stress disorder, PTSD.
Again, he had hated each word in there, hated the sole concept of being so messed up a single word could make him panic.
Point was, he knew what Carlisle had told Emmett, and he didn't want him to get in trouble again for something he had no fault at, he was the skittish one who couldn't stop jumping at people's sudden apparitions to save his life.
-You alright?- Esme's worried voice caught his attention, there was concern in her emotions, hesitation, no doubt debating whether to go to him or leave him be, he's not a particular fan of being coddled.
Ever since he got part of his memories back… well, some of his pride had returned, he liked doing things on his own, though he still had a hard time getting up from lower grounds, at least he could go down the stairs on his own now.
-Yes ma'am, 'm alright.- He conceded at last, he felt Emmett's amusement tickle his skin and he gave him a questioning look.- What?
-You're seriously one old dude.- Emmett couldn't help but voice, snickering at Jasper's confused look.
-What?
-"Yes ma'am, no ma'am". You know who speaks like that?
-Polite people?- Jasper wondered out loud, accepting Emmett's hand as this one reached out for him.
-Nope, old people.- Emmett told as a statement of fact as he pulled Jasper up with a shit eating grin.
Jasper frowned at him.
-No, 'm being polite, not old.
-Uh-huh.
-Well, at least I don't say " chillax dude" or "yeet that homunculus outta the window" or "LOL". Alice said LOL ain't even an expression meant to be used out loud. Also, biologically speakin', you're 20, if all, you're the old one, not me.
Emmett opened his mouth as if to protest, but closed it again.
And then.
-Touché.
Jasper smirked, maybe, just maybe, Alice had been right about him apologizing to Emmett being unnecessary.
He didn't seem mad, his emotions were nothing but amused, calm, happy.
Emmett for his side grinned, because Jasper was smirking , and this was the first time he's ever seen him do that, it makes him look less haunted.
He had been worried about him avoiding him or not wanting anything to do with him after he frightened him like that, that worry had strengthened when he accidentally startled him at the stairs.
But it seemed like there had been nothing to be worried about.
Unbeknownst to them, Esme was smiling in the living room, she never thought hearing her children bickering would bring her such joy.
Because Jasper was bickering with Emmett.
And it amazed her the improvement he's done in three months, for him to feel safe enough to bicker like that with Emmett.
He was starting to relax.
And she hoped he kept improving, for it to come the day where she would find herself looking out of the window just to see them wrestling in the backyard, just laughing freely and having fun.
For him to allow himself to belong, to heal and just be happy.