A/N: Part of this chapter was inspired by a chapter from one of my other fics "Broken", you could say that at this point, this fic and Broken are like twins considering the similarities between them
And of course this is my favorite twin XD
-What are those again?
-Robots.
-But why is she actin' as a car and drivin' 'em all to the train station in her…
-Trunk? Wagon? Bottom?
-...Yes.
Alice snickered at Jasper's flustered look, they were watching a movie in her bedroom, both sitting on her favorite bean bag with the laptop on her lap, she was leaning against him, his arm around her waist.
Ever since that night a week ago he's gotten the habit to invade her room, a most welcomed invasion if she was being honest, she liked having him with her and how almost clingy he's become, and he's also gotten less shy about touch, now, while hesitant, he would at times be the one to initiate the contact.
Like when she sat on the bean bag with him earlier, he had sneaked his arm around her waist, and she had taken it to lean against him, their knees touching, he had been tense at first, as if expecting her to reject his touch.
But when she didn't, he seemed to relax, not that she would ever reject his touch, she loved him dearly, and she knew that memories or no memories, he was still her southern gentleman.
He was still as polite and well mannered as she remembers him, still just as soft spoken.
It's almost cute how hesitant he is about it.
She had gotten him to watch a less "filled with songs" movie, at this point he would end up thinking all movies had like five musicals in them, don't get her wrong, some movies had amazing songs, classics.
But Emmett had begun showing him movies with terrible scripts and filled with way too much music.
She would rather have him putting Jasper through another SpongeBob marathon, that was much better than filling his brain with cringe movies.
And since there weren't any Disney nor DreamWorks movies left to watch at this point, she decided to introduce him to Blue Sky, she was quite sure he had a record for finishing all those movies in two months.
So far, he seemed quite taken with the movie, confused at times, but taken, and she's seen him crack several smiles, so she guessed he liked it. That was a win for her, he's watched lots of movies and while he made lots of questions he didn't particularly react much to them.
He had liked Toy Story, Emmett even got him a friggin Woody doll. As if the "Prehistoric Cowboy" hoodie he had also bought him wasn't enough. Thought Alice did find it amusing if she was being honest.
Point is, he didn't seem particularly interested in movies nor shows, he seemed more transfixed by the colors, sounds and general moving pictures in a box than the actual plot of it all.
She got it, she had felt the same way when she first watched a movie at the theater, and he had reacted just as transfixed when she first took him to the theater.
She even had several tickets from their visits to the theater, and some other things, the only reason they didn't even burn in the cabin was because she had taken her purse with her, just in case she found something interesting to draw on her way back.
Those things were what had helped her ground herself at times.
It was everything she had left of him.
And now she had him back.
She took in a deep breath before snuggling closer to him, her head resting on his chest. She was careful though, he was still healing, ever since Carlisle got rid of the werewolf venom in Jasper's blood his healing seemed to have kicked in much more, not as fast as it should, but he at least was starting to heal faster than he had been before, the wound wasn't as deep as it used to be and it didn't need to be stitched anymore, she knew it had been starting to annoy him having to take care of his wound.
Alice couldn't blame him, who would like to keep on watching their stitches two months after getting them? That sounded like such a hassle.
She shifted a bit, feeling his hold tighten around her waist for a fleeting moment before relaxing. She wondered though, still did, what did he think of her? Edward said that he responded the way he did to her because even if subconsciously, part of him recognized her.
But if that were the case, wouldn't there be anger for what she did to him? Resentment to the very least?
Hatred?
But there wasn't, all she felt from him was tenderness, such familiar tenderness it hurt. Rosalie had told her that she should make up her mind, but Alice still struggled to come to terms with that.
She closed her eyes, focusing on his heartbeat, in the past, one of her favorite things had been listening to his heartbeat as he slept, the soft sound had been soothing and just something she could listen to throughout the whole night.
Such a lulling sound…
Meanwhile, Jasper felt quite relaxed right now, Alice's weight pressing against his side, her head resting on his chest… it fills him with warmth, when he wrapped his arm around her waist he had expected her to move away or to voice some kind of rejection.
That maybe she had let him hold onto her before only because he was upset.
But she didn't reject him.
In fact, she ended up leaning against him, her head resting against his chest, she was so close he could smell her shampoo, her giddiness and happiness tickled his skin, making him wish he could just wrap both arms around her like he had done at the lake and soak in her emotions, or just run his fingers through her hair.
But he didn't.
That might be taking it too far, he doesn't want her to get uncomfortable nor for her to hate him.
So, he just enjoys the proximity, right now, he's perfectly happy like this.
~
"T̷h̷u̷n̷d̷e̷r̷ r̷u̷m̷b̷l̷e̷s̷ a̷b̷o̷v̷e̷, r̷a̷i̷n̷ p̷o̷u̷r̷i̷n̷g̷ d̷o̷w̷n̷. T̷h̷e̷ s̷t̷r̷e̷e̷t̷s̷ a̷r̷e̷ d̷a̷r̷k̷ a̷n̷d̷ p̷e̷o̷p̷l̷e̷ a̷r̷e̷ h̷u̷r̷r̷y̷i̷n̷g̷, h̷o̷p̷i̷n̷g̷ t̷o̷ e̷s̷c̷a̷p̷e̷ t̷h̷e̷ s̷t̷o̷r̷m̷.
A̷ d̷i̷n̷e̷r̷ s̷t̷a̷n̷d̷s̷ o̷u̷t̷ l̷i̷k̷e̷ a̷ b̷e̷a̷c̷o̷n̷, t̷h̷e̷ l̷i̷g̷h̷t̷ i̷n̷s̷i̷d̷e̷ b̷r̷i̷g̷h̷t̷, w̷a̷r̷m̷, d̷r̷y̷. H̷e̷ w̷a̷l̷k̷s̷ t̷o̷w̷a̷r̷d̷s̷ i̷t̷, a̷ b̷e̷l̷l̷ j̷i̷n̷g̷l̷e̷s̷ a̷b̷o̷v̷e̷ a̷s̷ h̷e̷ p̷u̷s̷h̷e̷s̷ t̷h̷e̷ d̷o̷o̷r̷ o̷p̷e̷n̷. A̷s̷ h̷e̷ s̷t̷e̷p̷s̷ i̷n̷ t̷h̷e̷ s̷e̷a̷ o̷f̷ h̷e̷a̷r̷t̷b̷e̷a̷t̷s̷, b̷l̷o̷o̷d̷ r̷u̷s̷h̷i̷n̷g̷ a̷n̷d̷ b̷r̷e̷a̷t̷h̷i̷n̷g̷ h̷i̷t̷s̷ h̷i̷m̷, p̷r̷o̷m̷p̷t̷i̷n̷g̷ h̷i̷s̷ m̷u̷s̷c̷l̷e̷s̷ t̷o̷ l̷o̷c̷k̷, h̷i̷s̷ t̷h̷r̷o̷a̷t̷ b̷u̷r̷n̷s̷.
B̷u̷t̷ o̷n̷e̷ s̷c̷e̷n̷t̷ s̷t̷a̷n̷d̷s̷ a̷b̷o̷v̷e̷ i̷t̷ a̷l̷l̷.
L̷a̷v̷e̷n̷d̷e̷r̷, s̷p̷r̷i̷n̷g̷, s̷u̷n̷l̷i̷g̷h̷t̷, f̷l̷o̷w̷e̷r̷s̷.
H̷i̷s̷ g̷a̷z̷e̷ f̷a̷l̷l̷s̷ o̷n̷ a̷ b̷l̷u̷r̷r̷e̷d̷ s̷i̷l̷h̷o̷u̷e̷t̷t̷e̷ t̷h̷a̷t̷ s̷i̷t̷s̷ o̷n̷ t̷h̷e̷ f̷u̷r̷t̷h̷e̷s̷t̷ b̷o̷o̷t̷h̷ b̷y̷ t̷h̷e̷ w̷i̷n̷d̷o̷w̷, s̷h̷o̷r̷t̷ d̷a̷r̷k̷ h̷a̷i̷r̷, h̷e̷ w̷a̷l̷k̷s̷ u̷p̷ t̷o̷ h̷e̷r̷, b̷u̷t̷ e̷v̷e̷n̷ a̷s̷ h̷e̷ a̷p̷p̷r̷o̷a̷c̷h̷e̷s̷ h̷e̷ c̷a̷n̷'t̷ q̷u̷i̷t̷e̷ m̷a̷k̷e̷ o̷u̷t̷ h̷e̷r̷ f̷a̷c̷e̷, s̷h̷e̷ w̷e̷a̷r̷s̷ a̷ y̷e̷l̷l̷o̷w̷ s̷u̷n̷d̷r̷e̷s̷s̷, s̷h̷e̷'s̷ s̷o̷ s̷m̷a̷l̷l̷, a̷n̷d̷ s̷t̷i̷l̷l̷, a̷s̷ h̷e̷r̷ g̷o̷l̷d̷e̷n̷ e̷y̷e̷s̷ f̷a̷l̷l̷ o̷n̷ h̷i̷m̷.
A̷n̷ o̷v̷e̷r̷w̷h̷e̷l̷m̷i̷n̷g̷ t̷s̷u̷n̷a̷m̷i̷ s̷l̷a̷m̷s̷ i̷n̷t̷o̷ h̷i̷s̷ c̷h̷e̷s̷t̷; a̷ w̷a̷r̷m̷t̷h̷ l̷i̷k̷e̷ n̷o̷t̷h̷i̷n̷g̷ h̷e̷'s̷ e̷v̷e̷r̷ f̷e̷l̷t̷ b̷e̷f̷o̷r̷e̷.
"-Y̷o̷u̷'v̷e̷ k̷e̷p̷t̷ m̷e̷ w̷a̷i̷t̷i̷n̷g̷ f̷o̷r̷ a̷ l̷o̷n̷g̷ t̷i̷m̷e̷."- C̷o̷m̷e̷s̷ h̷e̷r̷ b̷e̷a̷u̷t̷i̷f̷u̷l̷ s̷i̷n̷g̷ s̷o̷n̷g̷ v̷o̷i̷c̷e̷, h̷e̷r̷ e̷a̷s̷y̷ s̷m̷i̷l̷e̷ a̷l̷o̷n̷e̷ d̷r̷i̷v̷i̷n̷g̷ h̷i̷m̷ t̷o̷ s̷i̷t̷ a̷c̷r̷o̷s̷s̷ f̷r̷o̷m̷ h̷e̷r̷, s̷h̷e̷ p̷u̷t̷s̷ h̷e̷r̷ h̷a̷n̷d̷ o̷u̷t̷, a̷n̷d̷ h̷e̷'s̷ s̷o̷ o̷v̷e̷r̷w̷h̷e̷l̷m̷e̷d̷ h̷e̷ f̷i̷n̷d̷s̷ h̷i̷m̷s̷e̷l̷f̷ t̷a̷k̷i̷n̷g̷ h̷e̷r̷ h̷a̷n̷d̷ w̷i̷t̷h̷o̷u̷t̷ a̷ s̷e̷c̷o̷n̷d̷ d̷o̷u̷b̷t̷.
"-M̷y̷ a̷p̷o̷l̷o̷g̷i̷e̷s̷ m̷a̷'a̷m̷, I̷ d̷i̷d̷n̷'t̷ r̷e̷a̷l̷i̷z̷e̷ I̷'d̷ s̷o̷m̷e̷ p̷l̷a̷c̷e̷ t̷o̷ b̷e̷."- I̷s̷ a̷l̷l̷ h̷e̷ m̷a̷n̷a̷g̷e̷s̷ t̷o̷ s̷a̷y̷, h̷e̷r̷ f̷a̷c̷e̷ i̷s̷ a̷ b̷l̷u̷r̷, a̷n̷d̷ s̷t̷i̷l̷l̷, h̷e̷ c̷a̷n̷ s̷e̷e̷ h̷e̷r̷ g̷o̷l̷d̷e̷n̷ e̷y̷e̷s̷, t̷h̷e̷ e̷a̷s̷y̷ s̷m̷i̷l̷e̷, t̷h̷e̷ b̷e̷a̷u̷t̷y̷ m̷a̷r̷k̷ o̷n̷ h̷e̷r̷ n̷e̷c̷k̷. H̷e̷ f̷i̷g̷h̷t̷s̷ t̷o̷ m̷a̷k̷e̷ o̷u̷t̷ h̷e̷r̷ f̷a̷c̷e̷.
B̷u̷t̷ a̷s̷ a̷l̷l̷ g̷l̷i̷m̷p̷s̷e̷s̷ f̷r̷o̷m̷ t̷h̷e̷ p̷a̷s̷t̷ h̷a̷d̷ d̷o̷n̷e̷, t̷h̷e̷ s̷c̷e̷n̷e̷r̷y̷ s̷t̷a̷r̷t̷e̷d̷ t̷o̷ t̷u̷r̷n̷ i̷n̷t̷o̷ a̷ p̷u̷d̷d̷l̷e̷ o̷f̷ b̷l̷u̷r̷r̷e̷d̷ g̷r̷a̷y̷i̷s̷h̷ a̷n̷d̷ m̷u̷f̷f̷l̷e̷d̷ s̷o̷u̷n̷d̷s̷.
N̷o̷.
N̷o̷t̷ a̷g̷a̷i̷n̷.
H̷e̷ t̷r̷i̷e̷d̷ t̷o̷ h̷o̷l̷d̷ o̷n̷t̷o̷ i̷t̷, d̷i̷g̷g̷i̷n̷g̷ h̷i̷s̷ f̷i̷n̷g̷e̷r̷s̷ t̷h̷r̷o̷u̷g̷h̷ t̷h̷e̷ t̷a̷b̷l̷e̷ i̷n̷ a̷ p̷o̷o̷r̷ a̷t̷t̷e̷m̷p̷t̷ t̷o̷ h̷o̷l̷d̷ o̷n̷, b̷u̷t̷ a̷ f̷e̷r̷o̷c̷i̷o̷u̷s̷ w̷i̷n̷d̷ s̷l̷a̷m̷s̷ i̷n̷t̷o̷ h̷i̷m̷, t̷u̷r̷n̷i̷n̷g̷ t̷h̷e̷ a̷i̷r̷ a̷r̷o̷u̷n̷d̷ h̷i̷m̷ i̷n̷t̷o̷ a̷c̷i̷d̷, t̷h̷e̷ b̷l̷u̷r̷r̷e̷d̷ g̷r̷a̷y̷ e̷x̷p̷l̷o̷d̷e̷s̷ i̷n̷t̷o̷ a̷ m̷i̷l̷l̷i̷o̷n̷ p̷i̷e̷c̷e̷s̷ o̷f̷ b̷r̷o̷k̷e̷n̷ g̷l̷a̷s̷s̷, s̷h̷a̷r̷d̷s̷ s̷l̷i̷c̷i̷n̷g̷ t̷h̷r̷o̷u̷g̷h̷ h̷i̷s̷ b̷r̷a̷i̷n̷ a̷n̷d̷ h̷e̷ c̷r̷i̷e̷s̷ o̷u̷t̷.
T̷h̷e̷ s̷i̷l̷h̷o̷u̷e̷t̷t̷e̷ b̷e̷c̷o̷m̷i̷n̷g̷ d̷a̷r̷k̷e̷r̷ a̷n̷d̷ d̷a̷r̷k̷e̷r̷ a̷n̷d̷ n̷o̷! H̷e̷ d̷i̷d̷n̷'t̷ w̷a̷n̷t̷ t̷o̷ l̷e̷a̷v̷e̷ t̷h̷i̷s̷. H̷e̷ d̷i̷d̷n̷'t̷ w̷a̷n̷t̷ t̷o̷ l̷e̷a̷v̷e̷ h̷e̷r̷. H̷e̷ w̷a̷n̷t̷e̷d̷ t̷o̷ k̷n̷o̷w̷ w̷h̷o̷ s̷h̷e̷ w̷a̷s̷. H̷e̷ w̷a̷n̷t̷e̷d̷ h̷e̷r̷!
B̷u̷t̷ t̷h̷e̷ d̷a̷r̷k̷n̷e̷s̷s̷ w̷a̷s̷ s̷i̷n̷k̷i̷n̷g̷ i̷t̷s̷ c̷l̷a̷w̷s̷ i̷n̷t̷o̷ h̷i̷s̷ f̷l̷e̷s̷h̷, d̷r̷a̷g̷g̷i̷n̷g̷ h̷i̷m̷ a̷w̷a̷y̷ f̷r̷o̷m̷ h̷e̷r̷, t̷w̷i̷s̷t̷i̷n̷g̷ i̷n̷s̷i̷d̷e̷ h̷i̷s̷ m̷i̷n̷d̷, a̷ n̷a̷m̷e̷ h̷e̷ c̷o̷u̷l̷d̷n̷'t̷ q̷u̷i̷t̷e̷ h̷o̷l̷d̷ o̷n̷t̷o̷ s̷l̷i̷p̷p̷e̷d̷ o̷u̷t̷. O̷v̷e̷r̷ a̷n̷d̷ o̷v̷e̷r̷ a̷n̷d̷ o̷v̷e̷r̷ a̷g̷a̷i̷n̷.
A̷n̷d̷ s̷t̷i̷l̷l̷, t̷h̷e̷ e̷m̷b̷e̷d̷d̷e̷d̷ t̷h̷i̷c̷k̷n̷e̷s̷s̷ o̷f̷ b̷l̷u̷r̷s̷ a̷n̷d̷ s̷h̷a̷t̷t̷e̷r̷e̷d̷ g̷l̷a̷s̷s̷ p̷u̷s̷h̷e̷d̷ h̷i̷m̷ o̷u̷t̷ o̷f̷ w̷h̷a̷t̷ r̷e̷m̷a̷i̷n̷e̷d̷ o̷f̷ i̷t̷ a̷l̷l̷, f̷i̷r̷e̷ c̷u̷r̷l̷i̷n̷g̷ i̷n̷t̷o̷ t̷h̷e̷ p̷i̷t̷ o̷f̷ h̷i̷s̷ s̷t̷o̷m̷a̷c̷h̷, t̷h̷e̷ o̷v̷e̷r̷w̷h̷e̷l̷m̷i̷n̷g̷ f̷e̷e̷l̷i̷n̷g̷ o̷f̷ i̷m̷p̷o̷t̷e̷n̷c̷e̷ s̷p̷l̷i̷t̷t̷i̷n̷g̷ h̷i̷s̷ b̷r̷a̷i̷n̷ a̷p̷a̷r̷t̷."
~
Jasper woke up with a loud gasp, head pounding and heart racing, cold sweat trickling down his temple as tears blurred his vision.
It took him a moment to regain control over his breathing, and another moment to realize his claws were out and clutching the bedsheets beneath him for dear life.
A light knock came from the door.
Alice.
And truth to it, soon enough she was pushing the door open and stepping in.
-Hi.- She greeted softly, her worry and comfort bleeding all over the place. She walked over to him, and the second she sat down, with that warm smile and those awfully familiar eyes, the second he felt the overflow of tears.
He had no idea of the reason, had no clue what was wrong even, but the sudden overwhelming and crushing sensation of failure hit him like an airplane.
-'m sorry, 'm so so sorry.
-Hey, hey, no, don't cry, you've done nothing wrong.- Alice is quick to say, resting her hand against his face and wiping away at his tears.
But that didn't seem to help at all, the tears kept coming, and regardless of how much she tried to talk to him, how much she tried to comfort him, she couldn't seem to calm him down.
It felt like an eternity before he stopped crying and apologizing, she cradled his face between her hands, leaning down to press their foreheads together, looking into his eyes.
-It's alright, you're alright, I'm right here.- She assured, her voice soft as she tried to focus on calm emotions, comfort, affection, love, anything so he would stop crying, in the years she spent with him she never saw him shed a single tear.
Now she's seen him cry twice.
And she hates seeing his tears, the fear in his gaze…
It breaks her heart.
Because it makes her feel so impotent, frustrated, useless, like she's failing him.
-Alice, I know you don't want to tell him, whatever reasons that might be for. But I don't think you should keep on hiding the truth from him.- Edward's sudden voice caught her attention.
"What are you talking about?"
-I'm not sure, but I think he was dreaming about when you first met. At a diner during a storm?
Alice froze at that.
What?
-He doesn't know it's you. All he knows is that it's a dark haired woman with golden eyes, I don't think it's the first time he's gotten glimpses of you.
Alice had no idea what to think about that.
-Alice, he wants to know, he deserves to know. I don't know what happened, but lying to him won't lead anywhere. Don't you think it's unfar for him? Wouldn't you like to know the truth if you were him?
Alice didn't answer, she didn't change her position, Jasper was now looking at her with an indecipherable look.
The idea that he's seemingly been getting glimpses of her… that he dreamt of their meeting…
She had no idea how to feel, she knew she should tell, that this had gone long enough, it was unfair and selfish and just so messed up for her to lie to him, wasn't she just manipulating him at this point? She was pulling him into a sense of safety, making promises about protecting him and whatnot.
But she's the reason he's like this, if he knew the truth, he would hate her, but because she doesn't want him to hate her, she lies.
How was that remotely right?
Suddenly, the realization of just how messed up that was dawned on her, and she couldn't help but pull back, because no, this was so not right, she shouldn't be acting so familiar with him, as if she loved him , she had no right to love him after what she did to him.
Making him fall for her was not right.
She had to tell him the truth.
Edward was right, he deserved the truth, it wasn't her choice to decide whether he got to know or not, it wasn't about choice, it was about deserving.
He was strong enough now, or well, strong enough to survive on his own, it was about time she snapped out of her daydreaming and told him the truth.
Even if it meant losing him.
Meanwhile, Jasper felt… odd. He was aching all over and it felt like a cloud was stuffed in his head, an infernal itch at the back of his skull, Alice's emotions…
Pain, sadness, sorrow, grief, guilt, defeat .
And as she looks down at him he feels his heart skip a beat, something about her gaze… it made the itch grow, it grew so bad it almost made him want to claw at his brain.
That feeling was still there too.
Failure.
But not as suffocating as when he first saw her a few moments ago.
She reached out to touch him before halting midway, and as she drew her hand back he felt his stomach twist.
-You should try sleeping a bit more.- Her voice is neutral, so detached it makes alarm hit him, her emotions a jumbled mess he couldn't for the life of him make out.
It makes his throat close, because why does she sound like that? Why can't he read her? Why won't she touch his hair as she always does when he wakes up hyperventilating? Did he do something wrong? Had she grown tired of him? Oh God, that was it? Right? She was tired of him.
Of course she would, he's been clinging to her and grabbing her hand when he doesn't need help walking anymore, and how could he be so stupid? She was being nice because she had to.
And still, even if he knew that to be a possibility, it burns, it burns more than he could have ever expected, because he likes her, a lot, he isn't sure how much, but he likes her.
But now…
He bites his tongue before rolling on the bed, giving her his back, hating how tears blur his vision, his chest hurts and his throat burns, feels like someone's ripping his heart apart, like he might actually die.
Because she's tired of him, she doesn't like him anymore, she doesn't care anymore, he shouldn't have clung to her so much, should have given her her space.
He feels the bed move as she stands up, each receding step making his insides burn until it's too much, and it ends spilling out into the form of burning tears, he curls on the bed, clutching his chest as silent tears streamed down his face.
Because it feels like he's just lost a part of himself.
~
The second Alice closes her bedroom door the second she slides down this one, sitting on the ground and pressing a hand against her mouth to keep any sounds from coming out as traitorous tears stream down her cheeks.
It feels like someone's tearing her heart apart once again, like she might just die, keeping herself from touching Jasper when he gave her his back had been terrible, because it was clear her lack of physical comfort had made him feel dejected.
But she can't keep doing this, it's not right, she should have never lied to him to begin with, she should have told him the truth since day one.
She had to tell him the truth, tomorrow, she would rather have him leaving once he's rested and fed.
~
Jasper isn't stupid, he knows something's going on, he can feel the house's tension, Renesmee is at school and Jacob's at work.
But Carlisle isn't at work.
It gives him the first red flag.
Alice isn't at home either, she had left the moment he had woken up, he had felt it.
It bothered him.
But what bothers him more is that he can't stop thinking about last night, that woman…
She looks so much like Alice it's almost bizarre, because if it's not her, then who is it? It makes his head ache.
And once he's had his early dose of blood and venom, he sneaks up to Alice's bedroom, if he wants answers, he feels like this is his best bet at it.
He knew he shouldn't, but maybe, just maybe, if he looked around he might be able to find clues regarding these people, this woman, because no woman has ever managed to affect him as much she's managed to.
If he didn't knew that her gift was seeing the future and that vampires couldn't have more than one gift he would have thought she had some kind of manipulative gift.
But even that would be questionable, what would be the point of controlling him? Save him to begin with? Nothing makes sense.
He goes through drawers, finding clothes, jewelry, makeup, nothing remotely suspicious.
But then he opens a drawer from the nightstand and he sees it.
A wooden box.
The sight of it alone sends a shiver down his spine, a needle slicing through his skull.
He flinched, clutching his head for a moment until the pain had subsided, this box… he had to open it, he knew he shouldn't, Rosalie said it wasn't right to touch other people's stuff without their permission.
But again, she was just another liar, keeping the truth from him, she said that just because he was bad it didn't meant he couldn't change, if she believed that, then why not tell him the truth? What difference would it make?
He was tired of the looks, of the words said with hidden meanings, the whispers behind his back, the emotions, the behavior in general, couldn't they already decide? Did they know or did they not know him?
He wanted, needed answers.
Thus.
He grabbed the box, sitting down at the edge of the bed and placing the box on it.
He opened it.
What met him made him frown, there were lots of multicolored slips of paper, theater tickets, Emmett had explained to him once, people bought them as a little permit that allowed them to enter a huge place to watch a movie on a giant screen and eat snacks.
"-A̷r̷e̷ y̷o̷u̷ s̷u̷r̷e̷ t̷h̷a̷t̷'s̷ n̷o̷t̷ m̷a̷g̷i̷c̷? I̷t̷ f̷e̷e̷l̷s̷ l̷i̷k̷e̷ m̷a̷g̷i̷c̷. W̷h̷y̷ d̷o̷e̷s̷ i̷t̷ m̷o̷v̷e̷? C̷a̷n̷ d̷r̷a̷w̷i̷n̷g̷s̷ m̷o̷v̷e̷? H̷o̷w̷ d̷o̷ y̷o̷u̷ e̷v̷e̷n̷ m̷a̷k̷e̷ s̷o̷m̷e̷t̷h̷i̷n̷' l̷i̷k̷e̷ t̷h̷a̷t̷?"
His own voice sliced across his mind like a knife on fire, he sat on the bed, clutching his head and biting his bottom lip.
Where did that come from?
There was also a menu from a diner, Phil, Phaladelfia, Filadelfia, no, Philadelphia.
"-I̷s̷ t̷h̷a̷t̷ w̷h̷a̷t̷ I̷ a̷m̷? A̷ p̷o̷s̷s̷i̷b̷i̷l̷i̷t̷y̷?"
"-N̷o̷, I̷ d̷e̷c̷i̷d̷e̷d̷ o̷n̷ y̷o̷u̷ a̷ l̷o̷n̷g̷ t̷i̷m̷e̷ a̷g̷o̷."
That woman's voice was back, making him clench his jaw, her voice like glitches slipping through shattered glass, his head was starting to pound again.
But he didn't care, he needed to know the connection between Alice, this woman and him.
He found a little leather bound journal, it did nothing but worsen the headache, didn't stop him from opening it.
Inside…
There were doodles on the pages, dates…
And something he was quite sure were poems, and an even longer one… a song .
"-M̷y̷ w̷h̷o̷l̷e̷ w̷o̷r̷l̷d̷ c̷h̷a̷n̷g̷e̷d̷ w̷h̷e̷n̷ y̷o̷u̷ c̷r̷a̷s̷h̷e̷d̷ r̷i̷g̷h̷t̷ t̷h̷r̷o̷u̷g̷h̷ i̷t̷."- A̷ g̷u̷i̷t̷a̷r̷ w̷a̷s̷ p̷l̷a̷y̷i̷n̷g̷, h̷e̷ w̷a̷s̷ p̷l̷a̷y̷i̷n̷g̷ t̷h̷e̷ g̷u̷i̷t̷a̷r̷, a̷ w̷e̷i̷g̷h̷t̷ o̷n̷ h̷i̷s̷ s̷h̷o̷u̷l̷d̷e̷r̷.
He gritted his teeth, clutching the journal until it felt like his hand might break instead of the journal, his head was killing him, and he was starting to feel too nauseous for comfort.
But he needed to know.
And as he pulled out a silver chain with a golden heart dangling from it, he felt his throat close.
"-Y̷o̷u̷ f̷i̷l̷l̷ m̷y̷ h̷e̷a̷r̷t̷ w̷i̷t̷h̷ l̷i̷g̷h̷t̷."
His voice glitched once again through his head, speaking words he couldn't for the life of him understand.
So far and foreign, like an echo through a tunnel of cracked glass.
It made something tighten in his chest, burning and gawning at his heart, rising and rising until it burst out in the form of tears.
It made him feel hollow, but it also made it all feel like a most terrible heat was spreading across his chest, threatening to devour it all.
He knew this, but he didn't knew this, he forgot something that should never be forgotten, he broke a promise, he failed, he wronged something beautiful, who, who, who?
The pain in his head grew even more if that was possible, and it didn't matter how hard he clutched his head he couldn't seem to quieten the pain.
It felt like his brain was being burnt from the inside out, razorblades inside his skull.
And still, the pain in his chest was a thousand times worse, felt like his heart was being flayed, nerve, by, nerve, and it wouldn't stop . He could do nothing but curl in on himself as the damn tears streamed down his cheeks.
He couldn't stop them even if he wanted to for the suffocating pressure in his chest kept growing and growing, he couldn't stop, what did he do? Who was he forgetting? Who was he hurting?
Lavender, fresh air, spring, flowers, springspring spring
"-J̷a̷z̷z̷! W̷e̷'r̷e̷ g̷o̷n̷n̷a̷ b̷e̷ l̷a̷t̷e̷!"
The piercing cracked high pitch of a voice slashed across his brain like a sword on fire, making him choke on air, more fire spreading across his throat.
" -Y̷o̷u̷ a̷b̷s̷o̷l̷u̷t̷e̷ o̷v̷e̷r̷p̷r̷o̷t̷e̷c̷t̷i̷v̷e̷ f̷o̷o̷l̷! I̷ t̷o̷l̷d̷ y̷o̷u̷ I̷ h̷a̷d̷ h̷i̷m̷!"
Black hair.
Golden eyes.
Her laughter clawed across his skull like a high pitched ring that snapped through his eardrums.
His head was throbbing harder and harder, it felt like it would explode, his brain was seizing, blazing, melting-!
"-W̷e̷ g̷o̷t̷ t̷h̷e̷ b̷e̷s̷t̷ s̷e̷a̷t̷s̷ f̷o̷r̷ t̷h̷e̷ f̷i̷r̷e̷w̷o̷r̷k̷s̷."
Lightning struck outside as rain poured down. Down. Down.
"-D̷i̷d̷ y̷o̷u̷ d̷o̷ t̷h̷a̷t̷?"
"-If̷ y̷o̷u̷ t̷h̷i̷n̷k̷ I̷ a̷m̷ t̷h̷a̷t̷ p̷o̷w̷e̷r̷f̷u̷l̷ t̷h̷e̷n̷ I̷ m̷i̷g̷h̷t̷ s̷a̷y̷ w̷e̷'r̷e̷ o̷f̷f̷ t̷o̷ a̷ g̷o̷o̷d̷ s̷t̷a̷r̷t̷."
Twinkling gold. Amusement.
"-Y̷o̷u̷'v̷e̷ g̷o̷t̷ v̷e̷r̷y̷ n̷i̷c̷e̷ h̷a̷n̷d̷s̷."
Warmth tickling his skin. A smirk.
"-I̸t̸'̸s̸ a̸l̸r̸i̸g̸h̸t̸.̸"
Ghost hands stroking his arms.
"-B̷r̷e̷a̷t̷h̷e̷, J̷a̷z̷z̷."
Warmth. Warmth.
"-I̷'m̷ r̷i̷g̷h̷t̷ h̷e̷r̷e̷ m̷y̷ l̷o̷v̷e̷."
A whimper stuck at the back of his throat, raw fire split his head apart as the bright shards turned bright red, fire exploding through his mind.
Razors sliced underneath his skin, spreading and clawing at his bones. Splitting his brain apart.
Somethingsomeonesomethingsomeonesomethingsomeonesomethingsomeonesomeonesomeonesomeone'sspeakingspeakingwordsblurblurblursomethisomeone . Shutupshutupshutup!!
Laughter, black hair, golden eyes- singsongsingsong-!!!!!
The lavender stuck at the back of his throat, flowers, fresh air, spring, springspring spring-!
"-I̷ l̷o̷v̷e̷ s̷p̷r̷i̷n̷g̷.̷"
The sudden hand on his back felt like a sword slicing right through his chest.
The world went black.
~
The first sign that something wasn't right wasn't the whimper, nor the moan.
It was the fire.
Such obliterating fire that clawed and seared itself right beneath the skin.
Carlisle had almost failed at being able to get up at all.
He had had no idea where was it coming from, but he did had his suspicions.
And he was right.
Jasper.
He was in Alice's bedroom.
Sitting on the bed and curled in on himself as he clutched his head, he could hear the sobs same as he could hear the pained whimpers.
The fire coursed through his veins with such might he almost saw white, and God, now he could understand why had Aro wanted to keep him so desperately.
He tried calling for him without avail.
God, what had triggered this? He had said he would go back to his room to finish his homework. So why was he here? Why was this happening?
He almost crumbled on the ground with each step he took towards him, vision swimming and walls spinning. He needed to stop this, how could he be so careless? Of course having an unstable vampire with an offensive gift around would be dangerous.
He had underestimated him.
Believing Bella could stop him had been too careless too, it wasn't as if she stayed at home 24/7, she and Edward had taken Renesmee to school earlier.
And now this was happening.
But all Carlisle had to do was touch him.
The second he touched him the second the whiplash of knives hit and he dropped to his knees.
But just like that the blazing air lifted with such speed his stomach twisted.
Jasper collapsed and Carlisle's reflexes were the only thing that kept the boy from hitting the ground.
It took Carlisle more than he was willing to admit to get his bearings back in place before he was checking Jasper, much like it had happened several times before, his nose was bleeding.
But this time around there were also black bloodied tear tracks. That was not normal.
And he looked too pale for comfort, a black co-web spreading across his face.
Carlisle laid him down on the bed, gentle as he did, something dropped at his side, a wooden box he had never seen before, several things spilt on the ground.
He didn't paid mind to that as his attention fell back on the unconscious young man, he checked his pulse, black bloods generally had a near non-existent pulse, but Jasper's was accelerated, just like his heartbeat.
-If he does that again I swear to God I'm gonna break his legs - Rosalie's sudden voice startled him and he turned to see everyone standing by the door in different states of disarray.
-It wasn't his fault.- Carlisle reminded her, giving Rosalie, Esme and Emmett a look over, none of them seemed hurt, thank God.
Carlisle looked back down at Jasper, what was he gonna do with him? This was the second time he did that with his gift, he couldn't let it happen again, but he also still had no idea how to deal with that.
He roamed his gaze around the room, wondering what might have triggered him.
That's when he saw it.
The box on the floor with the scattered things, he left the bed in order to kneel on the ground and pick the things up; several old movie tickets, a menu from a diner in Philadelphia, a small leather bound journal, a few pebbles, a necklace with a golden heart, dried flowers and-
Ah.
Carlisle had a feeling he knew what had triggered him.
-What is it?- Esme questions, noticing her husband's odd expression.
Carlisle turns the picture around for the others to see.
It's a picture of Alice.
And Jasper.
Alice's seemingly on his back, with her arms wrapped around his neck in a loose hug, she looks happier than ever, a sparkle in her eyes.
And Jasper… he's missing several scars on his face, and while he isn't smiling as much as Alice there is a soft expression on his, he isn't looking at the camera but at Alice, and he looks like he's staring at his whole universe.
Like nothing else mattered to him at that moment but Alice herself.
-You think he saw that?- Rosalie asks, she didn't even know Alice had had that, she did see the box a few times, but it never occurred to her that its contents might not be jewelries.
She was starting to feel like this was such a messed up route to be taking, keeping it from him was cruel, but seeing how he might have reacted to a picture…
What if Carlisle was right? What if lying was the only way to keep him alive? But it's so messed up to lie to his face about things he's so obviously desperated to know about.
Edward said so himself, Jasper knows about Alice, he doesn't know it's Alice, but he knows there's someone in his past with golden eyes, Alice had said she would tell him the truth.
But with how he had reacted she didn't think that would go over well.
-It's a possibility.
-How did he knew to look in her room?- Emmett wonders out loud, he wasn't sure how to feel about this whole mess.
On one side, Alice should seriously have told Jasper since day one about their relationship, I mean, if Emmett was him, he would certainly want to know that the woman he loves is alright.
But he also knows his mind is all over the place, telling him might not be wise, but he should be given at least the choice of whether he gets told the truth or not. Emmett would want it.
Also, he might be regarded as not the brightest crayon in the box, but he wasn't stupid, he knew Alice was just avoiding the subject for the simple fact that she, for some reason, felt an incredible amount of guilt for his current situation.
Something Emmett couldn't for the life of him understand, because how was she to blame? She didn't give him to the Volturi nor did she torture him.
But again, Emmett's come to notice throughout the years that Alice had the habit to think it was her responsibility to know everything, that because of her gift she should know just about every little thing to avoid things from going wrong.
-Maybe because he knows she knows more than she's telling him, or he suspects her to be related to the woman of his memories. Point is, he knows. And if Alice doesn't tell him, I will.- Rosalie tells as a statement of fact.
-Rosalie, that's not for us to decide.- Carlisle warns, after last night, hearing Jasper, then what Edward had said…
He didn't felt like choosing for him on whether he should be told or not the truth was right.
But he could be seriously hurt because of it.
-But she can decide? You heard him last night, he was crying, how the hell can she just keep on lying to his face?- Rosalie snaps, because hearing him cry, hell, hearing his apologies, how could Alice claim to love him if she herself was the one causing him such sorrow now?
Rosalie could never live with herself if she was the reason Emmett was crying, for him to be hurting over something she had the answers of, how could Alice do that?
-That's-
-Rosalie is right.- Alice cut off, none of them had even heard her coming.- He deserves the truth, me hiding it from him isn't fair, he should get to decide whether he wants to know it or not.
Because Alice was hiding it for her own selfish desires, she was a coward who didn't want to face the consequences of her actions.
It was wrong, selfish, and just way too messed up to be hiding the truth just so she could spend time around him when he probably wouldn't want to be anywhere near her if he were to be in his right mind.
It was time for the lies to come to an end.
A/N: The verse of the song Jasper remembers singing to Alice is called "Crash Right Through It", Jackson Rathbone sings it in the movie Mixtape, ever since I heard it I have felt like it fits Jalice quite well