One of the many canon plotlines I hated about stranger things was Karen's grooming of Billy. She's a nearly fourty something woman going after a seventeen year old. It's beyond creepy and it still disgusts me, I can never look at her character the same way. If the plot seems to go back and forward, it's because the timelines and short chapters aren't lined up, meaning they are set at different periods of time in the same story.
Billy felt as though his skin was crawling, all of their eyes boring into him like he was a piece of meat, as if they were staring into his soul. They had seen the tanned skinned, blonde newbie with a sense of charm that made them blush. They knew him as the boy next door, the stranger, the new guy, someone they were curious about. He was used to gossip and attention following him around like flies to shit, but he wondered why they had nothing better to do. What it was about him that made him so damn fascinating. He knew the women of Hawkins were repressed, but the amount of mothers that fit the demographic were even worse. All of them in tedious boring relationships with men that didn't pay enough attention to them.
As soon as he stepped into the area, he felt the attention directed at him, like they sensed him coming and watched him like hungry wolves. Once upon a time he would have puffed his chest out like a peacock proudly and revelled in the attention. The old him would have played along, teased them and tried to ruffle their feathers. Now he just felt disgusting, wishing they would ignore him, wishing it was all in his head. He felt as though his skin was crawling, claustophobic, his heart hammering and sweat began beading on his skin. Anxiety swarmed in his mind, the feeling of claws dragging at his skin. Screaming for help at the back of his mind, unable to break free, wishing someone, anyone could hear him, alone and afraid. The blood on his hands from the people he hurt, the guilt he could never overcome and the self hatred that consumed him. He hated looking at his body because of the nasty bluish purple scarring, though it was a symbol he survived it was also a memory of his monsters. The reminder that he nearly died, the reminder that a dimensional monster tried to use him as a puppet.
He hated that something he took pride in was something so ugly, that nobody would look at him the same if they knew what happened to him. But it was proof he was alive, it was proof of his resilience and strength. He'd finally moved out from Neil, he'd hit his limit and whatever the future held he knew he could handle it. Neil didn't even bat an eyelid, no apologies and no remorse, just mocking him and glad to be of good riddance. He had taken up Steve's offer to move out and had abandoned ship, jumping at the first chance to get the fuck out. He wasn't living in that hellhole a second longer, he wasn't going to live with a locked bedroom door and waiting to have the shit beaten out of him. Now that he had some peace, headspace and privacy, now that he had closed that chapter in his life and finally regained some control in his life. He felt as though the darkness that ate away at him, the flog that clouded his mind was gone. Like his mum was watching over him and guiding him in the right direction. He felt as though he could breathe easier, he felt like he could make his own decisions and felt safer. Neil couldn't judge him, couldn't render him a fuck up and a disappointment. He could live by his own rules and make his own mistakes.
He handed in his resignation notice to the office, he didn't even have to question it, there was no way he was staying in this grimy pool a second longer. He wouldn't miss the scent of sun oil, chlorine, the sound of screaming kids and breaking up fights. He'd managed to find himself a job as a mechanic thanks to Hopper and Steve, Hopper asked around and Steve had supported him. It was decent work, family business with a good reputation and they were looking for more help. A place he could work with cars, and he could manage to get repairs on his own car for discount. He could work on something he loved, something he had passion for and it was manual labour. Finally getting some control over his life back, a job that Neil couldn't give him shit for, regardless of his life choices.
No walking on egg shells as soon as he opened the front door, no more tone policing his voice, no more internalising his emotions. No watching the shadows, listening for every sound and wondering if he was safe. No red alert and watching for danger, no lashing out as a response and able to regulate his emotions. He could finally deal with his violence and anger in a healthy way, he could actually be around people he liked and people who gave a shit. Older men who would treat him with respect and as a mentor figure. He could try and grow up, finally be an adult and become a better person, he could stop being an idiot and stop trying to die early, become someone his mum would have been proud of.
Billy scooped his belongings into his bag, nonsensically shoving them into his bag without care, he didn't have that much in his locker and he didn't want to linger. Pulling over a black T shirt over his chest to hide the scarring, as well as a tight pair of jeans. He was still attempting to regain the confidence he once had, he didn't wear button-down's as much anymore, he hated showing his chest. He'd managed to repair the muscle he once had, forming his body back to the old way it used to look like, but it would never fully be the same. The person he saw in the mirror he barely recognised anymore, like a ghost of his past self. He was lucky to be alive, he was ready to get the hell out of here and just put this behind him. He stalked out of the changing area, making eye contact with nobody, he could already sense them buzzing with questions he had no time for. He wasn't in the mood to talk and he didn't want to discuss what happened. Heather was dead, so many people were dead because of him, she was a girl his age who had a crush on him and the mind flayer dragged her into his mess. He still visited her grave and apologised to her for what he did. He finally had a chance to do over, he finally had a chance to fix his life, he wasn't going to take that for granted anymore.
He was out from under his father's prison of a home, he was away from the man who inflicted so much pain in his life. He could just breathe, he could just exist, he could take one day at a time and figure it out from there. He was safe at least, that was what mattered the most, his car was still in repair after the incident at star court, but he could collect it soon. Hopper got him a good deal and knew how much Billy's car meant to him. The walk would be good for him, it was getting cooler and he could clear his mind, trying to appreciate the surrounding area and think back to what life used to be like. The guy who complained about the scent of shit and the fact that he was trapped in a small quiet town. Just letting himself think with a walkman, letting music course through him and make him feel better.
"Billy?" a familiar voice called, their tone nearly a gasp, she couldn't believe he was here. She had seen nothing of him ever since that day at the pool.
Billy halted, he would know that voice anywhere, it was as if he was living a dream. She sounded so different, nothing like how he remembered. Billy turned his head, his blue eyes wide and cautious, goosebumps rippled his skin. He wasn't the same cocky teenager he once had been, the same asshole who flirted with Nancy's mum. The same guy who batted his blue eyes and used charm to manipulate them. What he saw as a middle aged babe wearing a skimpy costume had been shattered, the delusion about some creepy fantasy. Sneaking off to a seedy motel to roll around shamefully in the sheets. Unable to believe he ever had some weird crush on her, that he had ever considered having an affair with her, wearing the same swimsuit as before. She looked older, a worried, anxious woman, someone who was waiting for her kids; she looked tired, she looked stressed and she looked nervous, fiddling with her hands and hesitant. It was if the rose coloured glasses were shattered and he saw her for who she really was. He could only see her now as an exhausted desperate mother, a woman who wanted to provide for her kids and just wanted her husband's validation and attention. Thinking of his own mother who left him because Neil drove her away. "Mrs Wheeler" he replied casually, hoping she would take the hint and leave him in peace, he had nothing more to say to her. He wasn't an employee anymore, he wouldn't be a regular face.
Karen wilted, disappointed at his distant attitude with her, something about him had changed and she couldn't place what. She had heard about the accident at star court, how strange he had behaved and his injuries. She had no idea what happened to him, she knew Steve and Nancy knew but they refused to speak about it. Giving her the cold shoulder "You're back?" she questioned.
Billy sighed heavily, she was hoping to apologise, make amends and for things to go back to the way they used to be "Just handing in my resignation" he stated bluntly. He knew the managers here wouldn't bat an eyelid, so many of their staff sneaked off to flirt or have sex in the showers. They weren't losing out by him leaving and he couldn't care less.
Karen looked as if someone slapped her across the face, slowly piecing the weight of his words together, like her dream was shattered "Resignation?" she repeated dumbfounded. She was just another mum enjoying herself at the pool, no hot young lifeguard to gawk at.
Billy shifted uncomfortably, she deserved the truth at least, she had questions and she deserved answers. He felt a little bad, knowing they had been familiar with one another briefly. She deserved to know she wasn't responsible and that he would be ok. He had no interest in pursuing whatever housewife fantasy she had formed in her head, he was making his own life. "I moved out Karen, I was never going to leave Hawkins in that shit-hole of a home. I'm gonna be a mechanic, pay some bills before I got to college, try and save some money" he stated. He was finally free of his father, free of his hatred and vitriol, he was finally his own person. He had a job he finally liked, he had a job he actually looked forward to going to. He didn't have to make a reputation for anyone. Though he legally had some inheritance from his mother that he could soon access, he knew all too well it could be gone all too easily. He needed to save what he could, he needed to secure finances, he refused to be the failure his father saw him as anymore.
Karen blinked, as if she was shattering a daydream she was projecting onto him, knowing it was truly over. Actually hearing his life story, getting to know him and understanding his life. No longer was he the blonde angelic boytoy, he was a teenager, he was jailbait. She forgot that he was only just turning eighteen, that he was still a kid, that she was supposed to be the responsible one. That Billy was not that much older than Nancy, they attended the same school briefly and he was studying. She'd never taken into consideration that she was lusting after a teenager, she never considered the harm she was doing. Only of her sex deprived marriage, only of the husband that never paid attention to her or even helped around the house. The flicker of her maternal instinct gave her clarity she never had, a broken boy from a troublesome home. She had never met Susan Mayfield, nor had she met Billy's father either, she knew it was a quick marriage and they moved to Hawkins for her husband's job. Thinking of how all of this would affect Billy, the thought of him being homeless, she couldn't deny the worry. "If... if you need a room" she offered.
"Billy?" a familiar voice called, breaking the silence and saving Billy from this uncomfortable encounter.
Billy turned his head, his features softening as Steve appeared, he couldn't be happier to see a familiar face to save him from this situation. The same brown doe eyed pretty boy that he once had resentment towards had become someone he could confide in. Steve had no reason to show compassion or even be kind to him, but he was forever grateful. The last person he thought he would ever feel safe with, his pretty boy.
Steve noticed Karen Wheeler stood awkwardly nearby, wondering if she needed help. He saw her around but their interactions were brief these days, the kids were becoming more independent and could take care of themselves. He hadn't really spoken to her much since his breakup with Nancy, but he'd heard all about how Nancy was improving and making her way in the world. "Hey Mrs Wheeler" he greeted politely.
Karen blushed, becoming embarrassed that one of her daughter's classmates was seeing her in this state. She recalled Steve was once involved with Nancy before their ugly breakup at a Halloween party. Then Steve became a babysitter and started working at home video with his best friend, she knew things ended badly between them but she admired his growth. Steve had truly come into his own and was actually maturing from the boy he used to be "Hi Steve" she mumbled.
Billy edged closer towards Steve, finally a way out and a ride home, he didn't want to stick around much longer. "I'm gonna be roommates with Steve, he's offered to let me rent a room and it saves money from my new job. I can work out at my new job and have a place to crash. Turns out he's less of a shithead than I thought" Billy explained. This was for the best, this was healthier and he had someone who could actually help him. Steve had his own issues, a house way too big for one person and he was very accommodating. Billy knew he had his own issues with his parents, his own trauma's and was glad of the company, he would give Billy his space and let him get his shit together. He trusted him and he believed Billy could redeem himself. Honestly he felt he wasn't even worthy of the kindness that Steve was choosing to give him. Honestly he felt he could relax more around Steve than most people these days, none of the judgemental assholes from high school who never got their shit together.
Steve nodded awkwardly, not really sure what was going on but rolling with it, just glad that he was involved.
Billy sighed heavily, approaching Karen to loom over her making her step back a little, showing fear of him for the first time since they met. He wasn't a piece of meat to get her kicks from, he wasn't the models in her playboy magazines, he wasn't some sexual fantasy from the pages of her novels. He wasn't some object that she could use to satiate her needs, she needed to get that out of her head. He was an abuse victim, an angry teenager and a boy with issues no thanks to his parents miserable marriage, he was a broken idiot with anger management that needed someone to help him. He had no interest in entertaining her, he had no interest in being her fuck buddy. "Listen Karen, I don't know the details of your marriage, what kind of guy you married, who you're married to. Your marriage issues are your own, I'm not getting involved with complicating matters. Instead of drooling over eighteen years old's the same age as Nancy, get couples counselling or a divorce" he warned. She had to be pushing fourty, she was twice his age and the same age as Steve, this woman was projecting her delusions onto him, like he was a fictional character from one of her many novels.
Sure he may have animosity towards Susan due to her marriage to his asshole of a father and replacing his mother, but she was a good mother, she loved her daughter and she tried to protect him to an extent. When Neil was too hard on him, when he roughed him up, she would give him ice and painkillers. She made sure he hate and she defended him as best she could. But she treated him like a teenager, she treated him like she was an adult and she knew best. Karen had kids of her own, she knew better, what would they even think of her if they knew? He could easily go to the police about her actions, conveying to them how an older mother preyed upon him for sexual needs.
Karen's expression warped into fear and panic, Billy throwing the truth in her face without censoring his opinion. Shame filled her features, as if she had been slapped in the face, her cheeks flushing profusely with embarrassment, her mouth agape. Billy had put her in her place, giving her the hard and ugly truth about their relationship. Any sex appeal and confidence she had altered into shame and guilt, she wilted, Billy's words being the final blow, folding her arms across herself to cover up and wandering away.
Billy turned, walking towards Steve, relieved to finally get that off his chest, he knew Karen wouldn't be bothering him anymore. She would be working on her marital issues without involving him ever again, severing the final ties towards Karen Wheeler for good.
Steve was aware some of the local mothers of Hawkins had been drooling over him, simping over the new lifeguard, I mean Billy was attractive. He had seen the looks he had gotten on a regular basis, all the girls who had hooked up with him. But knowing that adults were also interested in him, all of them being sexually repressed housewives twice his age, married with children. The fact that they were blind to how predatory their behaviour was made it even worse. Steve trailed after him, still in shock about what he had witnessed "Well that was... awkward" Steve mumbled. What else was he supposed to say? How long had that been going on?
"She's a nearly fourty year old woman preying on a newly turned eighteen year old because she's sexually frustrated in a boring marriage to her high school sweetheart. I'm not a home-wrecker Harrington, I'm not an object for her to play with. I'm not that guy anymore, she needs help" Billy growled. She was old enough to know better, she was well aware of the fact that she had control and had the power to say no. She could have scolded him or rejected him like any sane woman. He felt sick at the thought, thinking of what could have transpired between them. He was bored before, looking for someone to play with and amused at this woman paying attention to him, teasing a clearly frustrated housewife for his own amusement. He would have never gone through with it. After being possessed and reflecting on his life, thinking of the abuse Neil inflicted, he lashed out in self destructive behaviour any way he knew how. He was tired, he was diagnosed with PTSD after his survival against the mind flayer, Anxiety and depression due to the years of abuse thanks to his dad. He was trying to be better, he was trying to change, he didn't want to be that person anymore. Looking at Karen from a different perspective, he felt repulsed at the idea of being intimate with her. He wasn't even attracted to women, he just liked teasing them, he knew how to get them hot and bothered, they were too easy to read. He had never liked girls, they had always just been a beard, a way to hide. His father knew that all too well, he reminded him daily that he knew his true appetites. Steve was another reminder of his true self, what he really wanted, the life he could have and the man he wanted. He wasn't the only guy who had ever caught Billy's eye, but he was certainly the most obvious.
Steve nodded in agreement, he knew Hawkins had their own set of issues without the upside down but he never would have believed it about Mrs Wheeler. He felt terrible for Nancy and how it would affect her life. Even Nancy agreed that her parents needed a divorce. He was still in shock about all of this, Mrs Wheeler had actually considered an affair with Billy? Did Nancy even know? He'd grown up around these women, he'd known them his whole life even before he dated Nancy. The knowledge of this made his skin crawl, like he needed a cold shower, just to erase the knowledge from his mind. She was an adult, she was a much older woman with life experience, surely she should know better. Did Ted even know that she had been planning an affair behind his back? He couldn't help but feel bad for Mike and Nancy, how they would feel if they knew about their mother's plans, She was their parent, their guardian, their mother.
"I'm a teenager with an abusive shithole father and an absent mother, I've got crippling mummy issues and I'm fucking gay. She has no chance with me" Billy scoffed. He was meant to make mistakes, he was supposed to fuck up, wasn't that what teenagers were supposed to do? But he was judged more harshly than anyone by the person who helped create him. He'd hated his father for as long as he could remember for driving away his mum, the pain he inflicted upon him both verbally and physically. But he hated above all how much of himself he had to hide and how his father knew it all along, trying to lie to himself and prove to his father that his accusations were wrong. Back in Florida he had his pick of any guy he wanted, in Hawkins not so much.
Steve softened, knowing Billy was a closeted gay in a small southern town made it even worse, knowing he had lost all connections to his safe places. He'd grown up here so he wasn't affected the same, he used to be so ignorant, a bully. Hawkins was home to him but it was far from perfect, having left all his toxic ex friends brought clarity. He couldn't imagine how lonely Billy was, but he couldn't deny his curiosity of what kind of men he was attracted to. He'd only ever seen Billy with girls, all of them bragging about sleeping with him. "So... who is your type?" he asked, surely he had one.
Billy smirked, oh? Was pretty boy curious? He'd dated all kinds of guys in Florida, hooked up with some too, he'd lost count of how many men he'd slept with. The dating game in Hawkins was weak, he had to drive past the town borders just to find bars out of limits. But Steve was easy on the eyes, he would happily seduce him effortlessly behind closed doors. "Brunettes, doe eyed, kind of an idiot, nice ass, a hot mess...and utterly clueless apparently" he teased. Steve, the answer was Steve was his type, he'd had his eyes on him ever since he arrived in Hawkins.
The mum friend, the one who took care of everyone and wore his heart on his sleeve, when Steve pulled the mum stance placing his hands on his hips. He found himself getting hard whenever Steve immediately became serious if one of the kids gave him attitude. Despite how clueless he was, he was well intentioned, he had a big heart and he cared for others. Whenever Steve got mad or sassy, Billy couldn't deny how hot that was, wanting to see more of it. Steve was a looker and he could appreciate that, he had a great body, a nice ass which he had checked out more than once, as well as a newly grown happy trail and chest hair. Steve was so his type it was ridiculous.
Steve blushed, he had to be jumping to conclusions but his instincts were going off, he could feel Billy's eyes roaming every inch of his skin like a man starved. Why did Billy's description sound like him? He had to be imagining things right? He wasn't that touch starved was he? He had no idea what kind of men Billy was even into. But his stomach was fluttering with butterflies and hope, he was soon going to be roommates with Billy, so he had some habits to get used to. But this changed things, things would change their whole dynamic, was he Billy's crush? was Billy attracted to him? Was he Billy's type?He could feel Billy smirking as his cheeks flushed, like a deer in headlights, already suspecting what kind of thoughts were going on in his head. He avoided Billy's gaze as they made their way towards his car, this would be a long drive home.