A/n: I saw shadows and my mind said Nikolai and since I couldn't immediately think of any other ideas, this is what we're going with. Also, yes, I am once again behind on Whumptober because a) who knew how long a month could really be, b) kind of losing my motivation here, and c) when the heck did it take days to catch up on sleep after one night of staying out past 12?

This would probably take place after Rule of Wolves, but I haven't read it in a while so I'll try not to base it off of too much canon so there's not total inaccuracy, but there will likely still be some so bear with me okay?

Ever since he was a young boy, he'd always felt eyes on him.

Of course, being the Prince of Ravka, eyes usually were always on him whether they were his parents' eyes, criticising his every move or guards and caretakers keeping a watchful eye on him, or the eyes of the people on him at any public appearance or party. But even outside of that, he'd always been convinced that the shadows were alive. Empty rooms never seemed to be empty, the shadows always watching him and listening to what he said.

"It's gonna get me by the end of the night," he'd whimpered into his mother's arms one night when the shadows had not only made him anxious, but also moved right before his eyes. He'd been terrified, even though he knew he should have been brave, but all of the anxiety had built up until he'd finally broken down in his mom's arms.

She'd of course, only laughed it off and told him he was being ridiculous then given in to letting him sleep with her for that night only when he hadn't given up.

After that, he felt the eyes on him from the shadows less and less, but they were still there.

Soon enough, he'd met a man who could actually control the shadows, but by then, he'd forgotten about the shadows watching him. It was only a while later when he'd discovered that the General may not be who he was that he'd remembered and he'd been cautious ever since.

Until that man had died, but even then, he still haunted Nikolai through the demon in his body. The shadow that was alive was him. Then as time went on, the Darkling had returned and then once again vanished and while this time was more final, Nikolai still felt eyes on him all the time.

The people's eyes were back on him, other countries watching him too since now he was no longer that Prince, but the King, or something to the same effect anyway. Eyes were on him anywhere he went, whether to an outskirt village, around the capital, or even just in the palace. There were people everywhere all looking at him, watching him, and even in his private rooms, he found no reprieve.

Because the shadows had started watching him again. The one that had inhabited his body was gone, but he still felt remnants of it sometimes in weird ways; the Darkling dead and still the shadows watched and listened.

A knock sounded on his door, and it startled him.

"Who's there?" He asked, way more anxious about the situation than he needed to be.

"It's me, Zoya."

He sighed in relief, before he realised what he was doing. How badly was this effecting him? Why was this such a big deal? What was happening to him?

"Come in," he said, turning back to his desk to organises the papers there as she walked in. "Did you need anything, General Nazyalensky?"

"I just…," she started, before stopping and closing the door before continuing. The action made put him on edge a little more than he already was and he turned, all his attention on her now.

"What is it?"

"You tell me," she said. "Something's wrong with you but I can't figure out what. Something's got you on edge and if it's worrying you, then it should be worrying me too."

He blinked. "Oh, um…"

"Well?" She raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms as he struggled to find the words to explain if he even wanted to explain in the first place.

In the end, he just closed his eyes and sighed. "It's just a spot of paranoia, is all."

"The shadows watch you too?"

He opened his eyes to see that she was now leaning against the desk beside him, looking not at him, but the far wall.

"You…?"

"Yes," she replied, sniffing delicately as if they were discussing weather. "But he's dead, Nikolai." Her eyes met his now, and he couldn't see that she was convincing herself just as much as him. "He can't hurt us anymore. Paranoia is all it is."

He nodded, and Zoya closed her eyes again, likely repeating it in her own head. For as much chaos and trouble the Darkling had caused for Nikolai, he'd done perhaps even worse things to Zoya. She'd been close to the Shadow Summoner, his right-hand almost, only for her to find out he wasn't on the right side of things. It couldn't have been easy for her to leave him, and with his dying and coming back and everything, he couldn't even begin to imagine how she felt about it. He barely knew how to feel about it.

Instead of saying anything more to try and reassure her, he stood and slowly and gently - so she could stop him at any time - rested his hand on her arm, letting it trail down past her elbow, her wrists, until their fingers brushed and he entwined his in hers. Storm grey eyes met his when he looked back at her face, noses almost touching.

"Maybe," he started quietly, words difficult to come by in this moment. "Maybe he really is gone, and he can't hurt us anymore, and paranoia is all it is. But even then, there's nothing we can do about it but… what I mean to say is…"

"King Nikolai, speechless? Never thought I'd live to see the day," Zoya grinned, and he smirked.

"Do not interrupt your King, General Nazyalensky. It's bad form," he chastised, but there was a smile on his face as he did so.

"Well, my 'King' was taking too long to say or ask what he wanted to so - "

"Stay here tonight with me?" He smirked again at her stunned silence though there was a nervous undertone to it. "You wanted me to say it quick but now who's the one speechless?" The smile disappeared and he was serious again, holding her hand a little tighter. "There's nothing we can really do about the paranoia but be there to reassure each other. And if it's effecting you too, then it would only make sense that this would be the solution, and of course you can say no, but - "

"No, it's alright I mean. I… I'll stay. It might… would help." She avoided his eyes as she spoke but after a few moments of silence, they looked at each other again.

He smiled softly. "Okay. I shall discreetly have the extra mattress brought in - "

"There's no need for the extra hassle. I can easily take the couch."

"Zoya, my dear, I am the King. I cannot have my General sleeping on the couch of my room, especially when she is a highly respected lady of the court and battlefield. If anything, you take the bed and I'll take the couch."

"Don't be ridiculous, Nikolai. But fine, I suppose the extra mattress shall work. How do you plan on explaining that if anyone asks though?"

"I shall say that the King's business is none of theirs," he said confidently, earning a disapproving glare. "Oh, fine, I'll make up something about working tirelessly on a new decree or politics or I can just say that slumber parties are not limited to young, common girls and that Kings enjoy them too?"

"I think I like the second option best."

"No one will ask question anyway, Zoya. I'm King, and any rumours that might be spread cannot suggest that we have relations since the extra mattress will prove we are not even in the same bed. But we shall cross that bridge when we come to it so no point worrying about it now if it might not even happen."

Zoya sighed. "Fine, whatever. I'm too tired for this right now. I had to get up early to teach some of the new Grisha." She shuddered and Nikolai laughed.

It was only when he let go of her hand a few minutes later that he realised the shadows no longer watched him, any malicious intent gone during the time their hands had been held. Now that he'd let go, the anxiety and paranoia returned, albeit less than before already just because of Zoya's presence. The way she tensed up slightly when their hands left each other's told him he felt the same way.

Even so, he didn't comment when she brushed her fingers against his as they talked about the progresses made with the Grisha training.

He just silently slipped his hand back into hers and kept talking.

A/n: I don't know, don't ask, but it didn't really go in the direction I thought it would anyway. But hey, Zoyalai amirite? Again, sorry, I know this isn't my best work, but I'm honestly losing motivation for this month's events and life is busy and I'm tired and now behind by at least two days now on prompts but hey, everyone has bad weeks now and again right?

Anyway stay safe, and see ya soon.

CrowofArcadiaOaks