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Aoyama, the previous head attendant, lived in an old traditional Japanese house alone.
Every afternoon, it became his habit to trim the grasses outside the garden while reminiscing the past when he was still at the mansion. He used to do the same chores back then but in a bigger garden.
He would do his task while nagging at one female kid who refused to stay put while the Akashi heir watched, observing his movements carefully.
Although Aoyama knew that Akashi Seijuro didn't need to know how gardening works, still, the curiosity of the heir was just too much that he had no choice but to allow such observation.
On the other hand, Hotaru just wouldn't stop asking. What is the name of that particular flower? What is this tool for? Why is it so hot today? Why do they need to be planted at this place?
"Hotaru-chan, what did I tell you?"
The girl stood up firmly as if a military officer reporting to a commander. "A lady worth standing next to Seijuro-sama is someone who's elegant and demure."
Aoyama aired his forefinger, a shovel still in grip. "That's it. So, what are you doing?"
Akashi smiled a bit at the two. Maybe he did mind her rowdiness at first, but as time passed by, he became accustomed.
The old man sighed. The young heir seemed to be smiling frequently nowadays, something he would only do when Shiori was still alive. Aoyama could only assume that he was finally getting along with the other noisy brat. It was after this realization that he couldn't stop the formation of smile appearing to his face.
"Don't worry, I will try my best to be a proper lady soon." The girl stated.
That time, Hotaru never thought that it would just suddenly come at her even without the effort of doing so. Sooner, her superior would change, something all of them was not yet aware, forcing everything to adopt.
In the middle of remembering the past, Aoyama was suddenly interrupted by a knock.
Just who exactly would come and visit an old man without any relatives at this time of the day, Aoyama wondered as he went at the entrance.
The moment he slid the door, his eyes flashed out surprisingly to the unexpected guests.
"Nice to see you again, Aoyama-san." Akashi Seijuro greeted first, immediately noticing how the wrinkles in the old attendant's face multiplied since the last time he saw him.
Aoyama blinked, he was still in the middle of registering the view, wondering if he was really seeing the faces of his visitors correctly.
Akashi had grown taller. With him was Hotaru, of course. He was seeing her from time to time anyway, so he couldn't point out any differences.
"S-Seijuro-sama! Hotaru…" He quickly bowed in front of the heir and the girl, gesturing an invitation to come inside.
"I'm surprised. You should've told me first so I could prepare something." The old man, who was nearing baldness said. He hurriedly fixed the small table beside the opened shoji as well as the two cushions for them to use.
"It's fine. It's in my intention to surprise you." Akashi said.
The girl had visited the place before, reason why Akashi was the only one inspecting the place. It was small but seemed enough for one person to live. There were some gardening tools outside the porch, and in the background was a small garden.
Inside the house, he could easily see Aoyama preparing some tea, the kitchen was just few inches away from where they were sitting. There was only one table and they were using it.
A few necessary equipment was present as well—fridge, microwave, rice cooker and small TV. He quickly noted how different the place compared at the mansion.
"So, what brought the two of you here?" Aoyama asked as he placed two teacups in front of his visitors. The aroma quickly reached their noses. It may be just a simple tea from a small store at the public market, still, he could guarantee the goodness of it.
"Hotaru has been frequenting here. I thought I should visit as well." Akashi answered.
Aoyama actually appreciated that. A lot.
The previous attendant looked at the girl who was just quietly sitting beside the red head. With a smile, he spoke once again. "I can see that Hotaru-chan is finally doing what I've always been telling her all the time. You finally look like a real lady." He winked before laughing at the end. "Well done!"
Hotaru smiled. "Why you didn't notice that before, in my previous visit, Aoyama-san?"
He pulled up his brow, "Oh, well, I'm sorry. Maybe it becomes noticeable when Seijuro-sama is beside you." He saw the redhead produced a small smile. "Don't you think so, Seijuro-sama?"
Akashi placed the cup back at the table, briefly glancing to the girl. "I suppose."
"By the way Aoyama-san, what were you doing before we arrived?" Hotaru asked.
"I was doing something in the garden."
The two shifted their heads to their left. Akashi had noted it already in his mind, the old man was still fond of this small hobby.
"Are you planting again?" Hotaru asked.
"No, just trimming some annoying grasses." He laughed out.
Akashi slid his empty cup on the sides before standing up to get a better view outside.
The air was getting colder nowadays, something he particularly liked about the fall season. Not hot but definitely not as cold as the one during winter.
Akashi Seijuro had his attention fell to one familiar plant he often saw in their own garden at the mansion. It was the same roses that Hotaru had.
Aoyama stood up to accompany the redhead outside. He knew very well that Seijuro would notice. "Is it familiar? I actually asked Hotaru to bring some stems before."
The current situation was something out of Aoyama's expectation.
This sudden visit never occurred, because why would a certain Akashi Seijuro bother? He was just a previous attendant of the mansion anyway.
Akashi nodded at the information.
Aoyama went to sit at the surface of his porch, one leg crossing on the other.
A few seconds later, the redhead followed and sat down as well. It was a little awkward, the old man didn't know what he supposed to do at the moment. How should he entertain his guests, especially an Akashi heir?
"Is there any particular thing you would like to do, Seijuro-sama?"
Akashi glanced briefly. "Don't worry about me. You may continue what you were doing."
Hotaru went outside the porch too, but instead of sitting down, she walked past them and went in front of the roses. It wasn't in full bloom yet, unlike the ones she had in the mansion.
"Are you judging it Hotaru-chan?" Aoyama asked from the distance. "Wait a few weeks and it will be just like yours, you won't even be able to tell the difference."
She smiled and went to crouch in front of the said flowers. "Yes, I hope so."
"You also have other flowers." Akashi noticed an Orchid and Jasmin at the other corner of the garden.
"Uh, yes." Suddenly he saw the male teenager standing up as he put both hands inside his pockets and began taking few steps to nearly look at the orchids.
It was pretty, Akashi could tell. The color was calming in the eyes.
However, the red roses still offered the best sight for some reason. Akashi Seijuro looked on that direction, also where Hotaru was at.
Something about the color of roses—as cliché as it may sound, made it stood out from the others. It could also be the meaning it held or perhaps the sight he often had in the mansion when he was young.
It was exactly like this moment, with Hotaru amidst the roses. Although this one had no flowers yet.
Akashi shifted his pace to approach the girl.
When he reached the spot few inches behind her, it was then that he took a closer and detailed look at the plant.
Aoyama wondered what the two were doing. What did they find interesting on that shrub? Why they were both looking at it? Despite being with the two as they grew up, there were still times when he couldn't understand what they were thinking as if somehow, the two had some hidden memory or a secret kept from him.
Kids these days… teenagers these days...indeed.
Regardless, like how it always seemed to be, he refused to mingle with the two, choosing to watch in silence.
"Ah! that's right, why don't you both have dinner here? I'll make something."
The two looked in unison at the oldman. Hotaru smiled gladly but checked first if Akashi, who was standing beside her would allow. She peeked at the redhead's expression above. He smiled as well and said, "I wouldn't mind."
"There it is, Aoyama-san."
The old man crossed his arms proudly, and gave a wink. "Well, then this Aoyama-san will now begin on cooking so please excuse me for a while." he said and went inside the house, at the kitchen to fulfill the task.
It brought him some memories of the past when he was still in the mansion. Though he wasn't the one cooking, it was his duty to supervise the chef. It was also his job to make sure that the family—especially the son, was receiving the right nutrients.
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"That, and those you have at home are of one kind."
Without looking, she nodded.
"I notice, you like that flower very much."
The two watched the swaying leaves. Hotaru didn't see the need to glance at him despite the remark.
The red roses, the same color of his hair. A beautiful color.
"I do…"
"Why?"
The question made her snap. Why indeed?
Her first roses came from a bud she cut in a nearby shrine when she was young. There was no particular goal at that time, she didn't think she'd make it bloom to this point. She just happened to compare that one dying rose to her situation back then, adding the stories she often heard from Aoyama when she first came in the Akashi family, of how roses used to be everywhere inside the mansion when Shiori was alive. She thought that maybe... somehow... Akashi Seijuro wouldn't look so sad if he saw these flowers again in the garden.
It would be too embarrassing to say this now of all times. She chuckled a little. "…because it's pretty."
Though he never talked about his life before she came, and he didn't plan on doing so in the future, it was after hearing her reason that made him recall his mother's habit when she was still alive. She would often arrange red roses in a vase and place it inside his room every time while complimenting how pretty they were.
Did Hotaru know about that? That it was his mother's favorite flower? He remembered how free spirited his mother seemed to be during those times, quite the opposite of her at the moment.
The redhead looked at her silently. She was in deep thoughts more often nowadays. Although she could converse with him naturally, he could notice that there were millions of thoughts running inside her mind. She had been frequenting Aoyama too, there must be a reason for that.
"…What are you thinking, Hotaru?" Akashi asked.
Hotaru glanced a little to where he was at. Why was he asking that all of a sudden?
Indeed, nothing could truly escape his eyes. Maybe she was failing to contain it anymore. After all, so much was happening here and there in her life. It used to be everything about Akashi Seijuro but lately, she wasn't sure anymore.
But to answer that, it would be "There's nothing, Seijuro-sama." That should suffice it, because out of all her worries, she couldn't bring herself to focus on one thing.
In fact, she was trying to remember the brand name of the fertilizer she used at home and at the same time, noting how the cold air seemed like a warning of a coming rain.
Yes, there were these simple thoughts. There were also these things of the past, the changes that occurred to the very person asking her what she was thinking. Right, what were you thinking too, Seijuro-sama?
And then there was also the present, why was it, that she was thinking about a certain someone?
Mayuzumi Chihiro...
Such a mysterious guy, how he felt familiar and at the same time, not. Clearly, they just met not long ago. His face from their last meeting when he told her he wouldn't like her surfaced her mind again. Why did she feel sad hearing it?
These thoughts were all over her brain and still nothing to focus on. It was like being stuck at the center of calm chaos. Her brain seemed to be in disarray that she just wanted to shut it down.
"You used to tell me everything." He said, in a matter of fact.
Her eyes fell softly. Indeed, there was a time like that. When she was still the foolish little girl looking up at the perfect life she thought Akashi Seijuro had when they first met.
It wasn't that way anymore. She knew it now, just like her, he had his own problems all while trying to survive this cruel life. If she allowed herself to speak openly like before, if she still had that courage, she'd ask it all. She'd begin with him. What happened that time? It was the question, the thoughts, and everything about it, that she couldn't get out of her mind since then. Why did you change?
But nothing good came from doing so. She didn't even know where to begin.
"…It really is nothing." A faint smile crossed her face.
She heard the sound of his uniform as it brushed against the grasses when Akashi took the moment to sit down as well.
The girl rested her chin on top of her knees.
Truly, if she could only ask.
Would it, at the very least, change something?
Since that day, it wasn't him who came back. She knew something happened. She knew it was something terrible. She knew that he was suffering. She understood all of that but despite it all, she had no idea what it was. The only thing she was sure of was the fact that life had been so hard on him yet he had to live normal. How could he do that?
The green leaves were dancing to the rhythm of their hair. Somehow, it looked free. It felt free.
What a nice feeling, it must be.
"…Have you… never asked why, Seijuro-sama?"
A short silence surfaced between them before he replied, "I'm not sure about the implication of your question, Hotaru."
She smiled weakly.
Well, of course.
She didn't understand it as well. How to convey the question properly, what words must be used and many many more. Even if she tried, it would always end up dense. Questions such as: why he seemed to be accepting everything that life was throwing on him? Why he never asked 'why him'? How could he act fine despite it all? Why was he strong? Why won't he tell her what happened? Why won't he seek for her help?
"Nevermind. Forget it Seijuro-sama."
The boy blinked, observing her figure for a while.
A sudden colder breeze greeted the two. As if on cue, Hotaru suddenly remembered one tournament that would soon happen.
"Winter cup is almost here. Is everything fine, Seijuro-sama?"
He blinked, obviously she was changing the rhythm of the conversation. He'd like to respect and leave it be if that was what she wanted.
"Yes."
Simple answer for a simple question but she knew that it carried so much weight. It was time like this that Hotaru couldn't help but admire the redhead.
"..."
But… "Aren't you tired?" she glanced at him through her shoulder.
His eyes, she wondered if it was longing to rest.
His mind, there must be so much thoughts going on inside that too.
Does it never get tired?
Would allowing his self a short break be considered as a crime?
She didn't take her eyes off of him as these thoughts ran.
He blinked.
And now that she asked it.
Was he tired?
Aren't you tired? It echoed again.
That question never occurred to him. Never once he had asked his self that. The word 'tired' sounded so foreign. It didn't exist in his vocabulary when it involved his body.
He won the Inter-high tournament, but that didn't mean he was done. In fact, it was only one of his responsibilities. He must work harder for the Winter Cup, while also keeping in order his duties as the student council president. There were also his studies, he had to make sure that he would stay at the top. Of course, studying shouldn't just end at school, there were more studying that must be fulfilled in the mansion.
When was the last time he had free time like this? He couldn't even remember anymore. When was the last time he experienced sitting on grass like a normal person, like a simple student enjoying a casual day?
He couldn't tell.
Was he actually tired?
"…"
Akashi softened his eyes, the air was soothing, to be surrounded by an unfamiliar place felt nice, far from the suffocating corners of his study room and office.
Maybe… just maybe he had the answer for that.
Aren't you tired?
He sighed a little, "I probably am."
It was in utter surprise of the girl that it took her a few seconds to react.
Hotaru felt glad upon hearing.
Admitting was the first step, she thought.
Hotaru huffed at ease, and smiled lightly.
Suddenly, she collapsed herself on to the ground.
"Then, for a while, why don't we rest?" she closed her eyes, as she took advantage of the fresh air, hands placed on top of her chest.
Akashi could only watch.
"It would definitely take Aoyama-san some time to prepare the dinner so…"
But he was hesitant to do the same.
Anyhow, she seemed at peace in that position.
The ambiance was quite contagious, he must admit.
"We used to do this before. Do you remember?" Hotaru spoke.
But they were just kids back then.
He averted and focused upfront. That time and this were different.
"I could tell the clouds were all over the sky. Aren't they?"
He sighed with a faint smile on his face, "You'd know if you open your eyes, Hotaru."
"…please lie down too, Seijuro-sama."
Regardless of the request, he stayed the same, inclining his head instead to look up. Cumulus clouds were present above. "It's quite cloudy, indeed."
She smirked, still had her lids closed. "Do they look free to you? Um...I mean the clouds..."
"…"
No matter how he looked at it, the clouds looked just like clouds, nothing else.
"It does, right? The clouds don't worry how big the sky is, it doesn't think how far it needs to move, it just does." There was a specific pause from her side before continuing. "That must be nice."
Somehow, he recalled those days when they were kids. She had a habit of uttering nonsensical words that seemingly pointing to something, though he couldn't understand. He'd just listen or respond if he could. This time, he'd rather do the former.
After a while and long silence from her end, Akashi Seijuro finally decided to do the same.
Carefully, he positioned his self and lied down. His hands were clasped together on top of his chest, similarly.
The blue hue of the sky, accompanied by numerous white clouds were quite a change of scenery for him. Looking at it from his current stance had its own comfort to offer.
From the corner of his eyes, he stared at the girl beside. It had been a few minutes since then. Hotaru still had her eyes closed. He wondered if she had fallen asleep. Was the ambiance so permitting that even him felt the urge to do the same?
It had been so long since he got the chance to lie down side by side with her. The last time he remembered, they were still little, just a mere boy and girl, playing at their huge garden, bathing themselves under the sun.
This time was different. There was no ray of sun nor warmth from it.
But the moment felt the same, with her saying meaningless words and him, wondering where she was even coming from and what exactly goes on in the mind of someone like her. There were lots of times that she had done and said something out of nowhere after all.
Just like that time when she cried.
The first and only moment he saw her cry.
A few while of silence as he remembered it passed by.
He was playing the piano and she was listening, he recalled. Then out of nowhere, tears were gushing down from her eyes.
"Why did you cry back then, Hotaru?" he mused.
Hotaru had her chest going up and down gently, she was merely relaxing her mind. It wasn't hard to understand though. There was only one time she cried to him after all. Did he really have to ask that considering how many years passed?
She wasn't sure when her eyes opened, was it upon hearing the question or only this time? Anyhow, the clouds indeed crowded the sky.
That question was something she never thought she'd hear. She never thought he'd mind it at that time. After all, they were only kids back then.
Why did she cry? She only heard him playing the piano, a simple action, and she was merely listening.
Perhaps, the mellow melody he created somehow ceased to it? Or it could be that the beautiful sound simply overwhelmed her heart?
Looking back, she was certain of one thing, he looked so sad yet he couldn't even cry, as if he did not know such emotion.
Her eyes softened at the present view, perhaps, Akashi Seijuro was just like those clouds back then. Despite how light it seemed, it was looming of water vapors, wanting to be released in the form of rain, shed everything down to the ground and finally be free.
Why don't you just rain?
Why won't you cry if you are sad?
Years later, he really had to ask?
There was only one answer she could think of. All thanks to these clouds above, she remembered what her heart felt at that time.
"…Because you won't."
Akashi blinked and looked at her.
"Ah-Ah, Hotaru! Could you give me a hand and set the table? The food is almost ready!" The sudden demand for help from the old man, coming from the kitchen echoed outside the yard.
Like a cut, the quiet surrounding that seemed all for the two disappeared. Hotaru breathed in and out heavily as she huffed to stand up. She dusted off her skirt and bowed slightly to Akashi who had sat up as well. "I'll be back Seijuro-sama." She smiled, leaving the redhead who silently watched her as she went inside.
He watched her as she hurried back to assist Aoyama.
He looked at the clouds once again.
"...truly... nonsensical…" was all that escaped his mouth in the end.
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One early morning, when the moon was still visible, a curiosity crossed her mind while looking at the sole object present in the sky. "Seijuro-sama, is it possible to visit the moon?"
It was like those usual days when Akashi would accompany the girl on her early errand. Afterwards, the two would lie down at the massive garden away from the eyes of other servants in fear of being scolded.
"There were some who did."
"Really? Wait-why are you lying down too?! Your clothes would get dirty!" Hotaru agitatedly pronounced. It was fine if she did that but her superior shouldn't.
"It seems nice. You look comfortable." He said eyeing her from the side.
She grinned, "Hehe, it does..."
Such an easy person to deal with, Akashi thought.
Before, he didn't think it would be nice lying down like this. The grass felt soft against his skin. The smell of the air was quite refreshing too.
"Why would you like to visit the moon?" She sure had a lot of funny ideas going inside her mind. Kind of a nonsense at this point, why would she even think of visiting such place.
"N-Not me! I just…remembered something."
Akashi blinked. "That is?"
"Not telling." She chuckled and sat up. "Let's go back? Teach me again that one melody you played!"
He smiled a little, for an attendant, she sure was brash. "I will think about it."
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