JUNE 20th, 2023
STARLINE POV - PRESENT TENSE
Things have truly moved along fast. It has been two days and I'm already working with a valuable ally, I have a base of operations that provides me with everything I need and all without anyone knowing I'm back. It's best that Surge and Kitsunami especially get the news delayed until we can undoubtedly stop them. The tricore's destruction upon the debris' impact was an unfortunate loss and lowers the odds of victory significantly.
In fact, the odds of victory against anyone with them weren't different than before.
What do was the purpose? I took two struggling young Mobians, transformed them into powerful beings and somehow made their situation worse. Evilly pointless. I suppose I am the best at something.
I'm the best at being the worst. My lowest point was when I had the highest power on my side.
I wouldn't consider it Murphy's Law though. Perhaps my low point has given me a new perspective. I don't have the confidence to take over a base with little defences prepared. I undoubtedly need to remain careful, so that's what I'll do.
"Can you stop monologuing in your head for FIVE MOTHERWAHING SECONDS?"
"O-of course! I thought it had only been a couple of seconds."
"It was long enough for your very few remaining files to transfer, me to download the last 100 posts online with the keywords 'roster', 'Smash Bros', 'taco stand' or 'universe' and decide on where we should go."
"Taco stand?"
"I tell you that I did all of that in your 3 minutes of thought and you focus on my love for tacos?"
"Okay, where did you decide?"
Gaia, if he chooses some random village with nobody strong, I'm going to send him to Ice Cap Zone with no supplies.
"Well, let me show you. Welcome... to the world of Pokémon!"
"Here already. Not even any time... things?"
"The line's good enough. Do you want a repeated:
JUNE 20th, 2023
STARLINE POV - PRESENT TENSE?"
"Fair point. Anyways, powerful creatures with the bodies of vermin. I suppose we need some information."
"We can try asking some people nearby. This is stuff they teach children around here."
"Not while you're wearing those giant purple overalls with your calling card on them."
"But it's okay for a duck in a full outfit to wander around?"
"Correction: a platypus in a full outfit that's also managed to remain presumed dead for half of a year and, technically speaking, still counting."
"Well, what do you think I should do? I didn't bring spare clothes or anything."
"Here's a crash course in trickery. Step 1: walk through the tall grass. Step 2: look around."
No bites yet...
"Repeat steps 1 and 2 until seeing a person."
Bingo!
"Step 3: approach the person. The interesting part is just around the corner."
"Why are you walking up to an 8 year old? I want to know what we're doing!"
"It's common manners for Pokémon Trainers to battle when their eyes mee- what is that?"
"First, rude. Second, you can help me enact step 4. Just have a nice, brief nap. It sure is a hot summer's day, isn't it? Never get those back home around now."
"Step 5, loot the child in their rest."
"WHAT?"
"Just take the money and we can go."
Gaia, you want money or not?
"Fine. But just know it's because I'm scared of you and not because I want to."
Isn't it the oth- whatever, this is perfect. Compliance through fear is the greatest form.
"Got everything?"
"Y-yes sir!"
"Well, let me just make a portal. I don't trust this place enough to walk through it without reason."
I just need to reach a town and I'll repeat the process in the Mushroom Kingdom. If insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results, I am 50% insane.
"So, where next?"
"The kid's waking up back there."
We don't have to worry.
"I was going to use that money for revives. You'll have to wait, Yamper."
JUNE 20th, 2023
??? CONVERSATION
??? 3: "You two knuckleheads are always goin' wherever the newest champion is. Are we villains or tourists?"
??? 1: "Calm down, the boss thinks the real tourists will be here, meaning we get the Pokémon and they get the trouble!"
??? 2: "Double trouble!"
??? 3: "That's right! But where's the kid? He's always here too. That's why we've went on a world tour to unite all peoples within our nation!"
??? 2: "He quit when he became World Champion, remember?"
??? 3: "I'll believe it when I see it!"
??? 1: "Good thing you've seen it then. He's retired at age 10 while we're still looking for a single Pokémon to catch."
??? 2: "It felt like 30 years."
??? 1: "Wait, we have a talking one right here. Why are we trying to get a rat when we could get rich with a speaking Meowth?"
Meowth: "Hey! You two think I'm goin' from best in the team to the woist part of the circus, you're wrong!"
??? 1: "We may as well have gone back to Kalos. This place is a scarlet screwup for interesting Pokémon."
??? 2: "Which is why you're the one who thought of it, James?"
James: "Says the weakest link of Team Rocket."
Jessie: "You wish you was as strong as me!"
Meowth: "You two calm down before I figure out which ball Bewear's in. And besides, if you two keep bickering, we'd be late to Medali with a Corviknight Taxi."
Jessie and James: "Fine."
James: "But when we're back at the hideout, I'll show you that Team Rocket can blast off again without Meowth and I doing anything."
Jessie: "That's because I'm the only part that matters."
Meowth: "You two knuckleheads betta be quiet or I'm going to find Arceus just so it kills ya."
James: "Do you know how to do anything else than make death threats?"
Meowth: "Of course I can, bonehead!
Does it work though?"
JUNE 20th, 2023
STARLINE POV - PRESENT TENSE
"Now I can't unsee it. Why in Count Bleck's name is that always there?"
Because it adds context.
"I'm going to stay to the side and blend in as much as I can. If I make even the smallest mistake, I will either eternally loathe you since it's your fault or myself since I can't blame anyone else when I've failed completely."
"This is rated T, calm down."
"One more fourth wall break and I'm replacing you with a Sawk."
Might actually be a good idea.
"Okay, fine. I'm just walking in there, acting natural and buying whatever seems casual."
90% chance he buys jeans.
DEVIL DICE HOTEL - THIRD PERSON
"I'm running the numbers and it's likely a victory for Pit. He succeeded in his first tournament and can keep Donkey Kong at bay with his combination attacks."
Sage was relaying all of the chances to Metal Sonic, Orbot and Cubot, the first simply nodding in approval.
"Where do Greninja and Yoshi fall into this?"
"I don't think Greninja falls anywhere but off the stage!"
"Well," Sage cut off the pair's friendly banter to explain facts. "Cubot was right about Greninja serving little threat. Only /view/metal-sonic-sonic-sonic-the-hedgehog-monday-sega-gif-191121841340694521-" [1]
"Be-oh."
Chaos, Sage revealed the gifs we recorded.
"If either of you bring this up again, under 10 of 191121841340694521 possibilities have you surviving."
"Y-Yes Ma'am!" both shaped self-operating servants said.
Thank Gaia. You can't scare me like that, Sage.
"As we were. Only 19986 of 894418 possibilities show Greninja on the of the fight. Meanwhile 95756 state that Yoshi is superior. Donkey Kong still wins 271949 scenarios, leaving 506727 where Pit is victorious."
"How did you work that out so fast? You was using a calculator, wasn't you?"
"She's artificial intelligence, she is a calculator, bolt brain."
"I thought they couldn't even count with their fingers."
"That's counting how many fingers somebody has, Cubot. Also writing numbers on images."
"Even I can do that! You have one, two, twelve... carry the one, divided by 4 to the power of 2874, times 18 and finally to the power of 32, upon rounding to the nearest significant figure... 10 fingers!"
"That was... correct. Was that luck or intelligence that I can't understand?"
"A magician never reveals his tricks. Because they're encrypted by today's sponsor of the Eggman Empir-"
"There are only around 1 and a half hours until the start of the game. We don't have time for a sponsored segment."
STARLINE POV - PRESENT TENSE
He bought jeans.
'There was nothing else there' he says.
'You find something more normal, you don't even wear pants!' is fair but sounds worse when you say the correct words.
Emphasis on correct, the write- my language is correct!
"Can you stop thinking of making fun of my version of the language FOR FIVE MINUTES?"
GET OUT OF MY MIND!
"Also, keep your voice low. Your shouting could cost everything. Now, we can likely find vulnerable Pokémon if we visit one of those "Pokécenters" you told me about."
"We've sunk this low on the fourth chapter, Doctor!"
"Then we'll need quite a bit of elastic energy to bounce back. Your anger at my determination provided me enough time to efficiently spot one. Although it is ever so slightly in the open, only a fool or self-assured villain with extreme power would try and rob i-"
??? 2: "Prepare for trouble."
??? 1: "And make it double!"
"Right on queue."
[1] This was a genuine copy-paste mistake I made that fittingly worked for Sage. Thus, I chose to make Tenor canon. I thought I'd copied the random number that was 894418 to be _ of it but apparently not and it took the Sonic Fanfiction Server message.