When Gia woke up, she got ready and then knocked on Kazeharu's door.
"What?"
"Yes! You're in there, great! I'm gonna jump into the Abyss, wanna come?"
"Why are you willingly going into the Abyss? You're really insane. Not even I go there happily."
"The Abyss isn't that bad! I mean, if Childe could do it, so can I! I literally fought the Abyss, Fatui, Celestia and every god at the SAME TIME, so we'll be fine! The Abyss doesn't affect me anyways."
"And you had to bother me about this? I'm not coming."
"Please? It's no fun alone and otherwise I'm bringing…Venti."
"Did HE agree to come?"
"I'll ask him!"
"Ugh."
"Venti!"
"Venti!"
"VEN-"
"What?" Venti groaned.
"I'm jumping into the Abyss, want to come with?"
"I still have a hangover…"
"I'LL GET BAIZHU!"
"SHUT UP! SOME PEOPLE ARE RELAXING!" Kazeharu yelled from across the way.
"YOU'RE YELLING TOO!"
"AND YOU'RE YELLING BACK!"
"HOW ABOUT you BOTH BE QUIET, I'M TRYING TO READ!" Xingqui yelled from downstairs.
"AND I'M HAVING AN ICE POP!" Chongyun shouted.
"WHY DO YOU NEED SILENCE TO EAT AN ICE POP?! Anyways, BAIZHU ARE YOU HERE?" Gia asked.
Baizhu walked up the stairs.
"You don't have to yell." Changsheng grumbled.
"Sorry Changsheng, but Baizhu, I need medicine for a hangover."
"Why does it have to be YOU…"
"Sorry sorry. It's for Venti!"
"A drink has a hangover?"
"Haha. I shouldn't have told you about that."
"Anyways that'll be 1 million mora since it's early. Qiqi! Can I please have the medicine bag?"
Qiqi came soon.
"Okay! Qiqi remembered where the bag was!"
"Great, thank you!"
Qiqi headed back downstairs while Baizhu looked for the medicine.
"Here." He handed Gia the medicine.
"Thanks so much! We got off on the wrong foot, I apologize! Here's the mora."
Baizhu thanked her.
"You're with the Fatui right? So you know my brother?"
"Yes…I hit him with a metal chair."
"Metal?"
"Yep!"
Baizhu simply turned and left.
"Venti can I come in?"
"Yes."
Gia opened the door.
"Take this Venti!"
He muttered a thanks and ate it.
"That wasn't pleasant."
"Yeah, anyways, are you coming?"
"I don't-"
"It'll be fun! Besides, it's boring to go alone and dangerous!"
"Fun? And it's not dangerous for YOU. "
"Please Venti?"
"Fine. BUT you become my warrior!"
"Umm? What do you mean?"
"Well, you have to be my bodyguard and drinking buddy!"
"I'm already your drinking buddy! And, I'm everyone's bodyguard!"
"Oh really?"
"Yep! Unless it's a commission, if someone needs help killing something I'll help! Or finding something. But don't think I'm nice and naive like the Traveler!"
"Don't insult her!"
"It's true though."
"…"
"Sorry sorry, I'll follow you around when I can! I'll be your familiar!"
"Huh?"
"Yep, I've been wanting to try it out! Kazeharu doesn't know what he's missing!"
"I wouldn't want to have you bother me all day, Aleshk." Haru answered.
"Ooh my god name, so scary."
"Anyways, what creature?"
"What creature do you want?" Venti asked.
"Crow."
"Then be a crow!"
"Alright! If anything attacks you , I'll transform back. Shall we go? It's gonna be a weird sucking feeling and everything's going to go black for a few seconds."
"Okay…"
*Pop!*
Just like Gia said, they were sucked into darkness. Eventually, everything started forming, still dark but still light enough to see. Weird noises came around them.
"What the heck?" someone said.
"Are we…IN THE ABYSS!?" A familiar high pitched voice asked.
"Paimon? Lumine?" Venti questioned. They turned around and everyone that was in the Serenetia pot was there.
Kazeharu flew over the crowd and said, "GIA! Did you bring us to the Abyss?"
"Not on purpose! I'm sorry, let me bring you back…"
*Po-*
*P-*
*Po-*
*Po-*
"Well…It seems that I can't bring you back…"
"I'M STUCK IN HERE AGAIN?" Childe cried.
"Childe! I'm sorry! This time you'll have us to keep you company!"
"So you trapped us here?" Lumine asked.
"I told you it was by accident! Well…Maybe we'll see your brother!"
Lumine's eyes welled up with tears.
"OR MAYBE not!"
"I came for 5 minutes and I got stuck in the Abyss?" Xiao grumbled.
"Archon's how many people stay in the Travelers tea pot?" Gia asked.
"A lot!" Paimon said.
"Hold on… Nahida, Zhongli, are you both here too?" Gia asked.
"Yes."
"Uh huh!"
"Awesome, we gotta get to the top!"
A barking noise came from behind them.
"Gia…" Lumine said.
A dog shaped shadow that glittered with stars came into a patch of starlight and barked again.
"Oh, it's alright. Hi boy! Miss me? It's been a while!" Gia announced.
Gia's hand became like the creature and he bounded up to Gia, who rubbed his stomach.
"Are you petting that nighthound?" Childe asked.
"His name is Albert! And yes."
"SEE? She's the craziest person I ever had the unfortunate opportunity to meet." Kazeharu shouted.
"Can I study the specimen?" Albedo asked.
"Oh Albedo! Hello! And as long as you're nice to Albert, yes."
"Thank you."
"Now, since we're here, I've been wanting to meet some friends of Lumine! I've only met a tiny bit in this reality!"
"This reality?" Kazuha asked.
"KAZUHA! Perfect, I wanted to meet you! And to answer your question, I'll introduce myself to ALL of you! AHEM. I go by many things, Aleshk, the god of realities, The Wolf, Most powerful ally of the Fatui, best friend of the Universe, and #2 most powerful being to ever exist (not to brag). BUT you all can just call me Gia."
"You're with the Fatui?" Collei asked.
"You know the Universe? How interesting." Albedo muttered.
"#2 most powerful ever?" Cyno questioned.
"Yes yes, and don't worry Collei, I'm not NEARLY as bad as the others! If I was like Dottore the fake Doctore, do you REALLY think I'd be allowed in the teapot and friends with the Traveler?"
"You did give him a dragon…" Lumine pointed out.
"That big black one in the Sanctuary?" Asked Collei.
"Yep! He's a real sweetheart! His name is Mayonaka. Anyways, Zhongli, I have a question…"
"Yes?"
Gia brought him to the side and asked," The Raiden Shogun puppet…. She wasn't in the teapot, right?"
"She was."
"NOOOOOOOOO!"
"?"
"Gia what happened?" Venti asked.
"LUMINE YOU ARE TOO NICE! Why oh why did that WRETCHED PUPPET HAVE TO BE IN THE TEAPOT? IF YOU HAD TO LET ONE IN, LET EI IN, AT LEAST SHE'S A BIT BETTER THAN THE PUPPET!"
"How dare you? You know, recently you've been ASKING for divine punishment." the Shogun puppet glared.
Lumine's friends looked with worry.
"HAH! Divine punishment would be but a tickle to her, SUCKER!" Kazaharu teased.
"Yeah, do you KNOW how many times I've killed you ? You're lucky I like Inazuma's people and scenery or else I'd do it again…"
"Excuse me? Got something else to say? Don't be scared to speak your opinion about me!" the puppet said.
"Very well. I think you are a pompous, arrogant jerk who thinks she's so GREAT. The one thing I like about you is-" (Kazeharu Gia said in her mind) "-I don't even know, you are the worst puppet and the original Raisin Ei isn't that much better! Now, I had planned a whole list of things to say but, I forgot it so let me think of what else…Oh yeah, you expect my respect when you're nigh but a BUG to crush under my BOOT. Seriously, I can defeat EVERY SINGLE GOD TO EVER EXIST, EVERYONE IN THE FATUI, ABYSS ORDER, AND ALL OF THE INHABITANTS OF CELESTIA AT THE SAME TIME SO I WOULD HAVE NO TROUBLE UTTERLY DESTROYING YOU! Remember how Rosalyne became all but ash? Well I could smite you so hard that not even MICROSCOPIC PARTICLES OF DUST would be left of your corpse."
The Raiden Shogun scoffed.
"Ah, don't believe me? Do your little 'Divine Punishment' on me, then I'll create a clone of you and show you just what I can do!"
The puppet opened her mouth to speak, but then Abyssal monsters surrounded them, growling and roaring.
"No need to worry, just step back and I'll get us out!" Gia announced to the crowd, snapping her fingers and turning the monsters into slugs. She then grabbed her bow and explained, "Some things MAY be familiar; I can do everyone's elemental skill and burst!"
She then aimed at the monsters-now-slugs and used Venti's burst to group them together, then fired an arrow that left a rift in its wake, demolishing the creatures with one arrow. The barricade on the doorway opened, and everyone began to go through the rooms and defeat the monsters. When they reached the end a few hours later, they were teleported back to the teapot.
"Wasn't that fun?" Gia inquired.
"NO!" everyone screamed.
"Welp…I guess I should say, we weren't trapped in there. Happy April Fools Day!"
"WHAT!?" everyone yelled in annoyance.
"Get her!" Kazeharu shouted, and the majority of the people started chasing Aleshk, who then teleported away after saying, "I'll just go stay at the Palace, everyone, try not to be a depressed loner (lookin' at you, Xiao) Bye Bye!"
*Pop*
Gia teleported inside Zapolyarny Palace.
"Gia, what brings you here?" Columbina lazily asked,
"I'm moving in here!"
"The Doctor said you were moving into the Traveller's Teapot."
"I was but the Doctor's April Fools Day joke made me quite unwelcome."
"Makes sense, I suppose."
"Anyways, where's the Jester?"
"In his room." the Damselette responded.
'Thanks, also, get off the floor! We told you, it's dirty!"
"Aw…"
*Pop!*
*Knock, Knock, Knock!*
"What?" barked Pierro.
"It's me, your favourite assistant, Aleshk! I'd like to please move into the Palace!"
"Hm… After the Tsaritsa approves, you may take the room across the hall from the Doctor's.
Room. "
"Alrighty! Thanks."
*Pop!*
One hour later
After falling asleep, Aleshk woke up and saw tea and a neatly written note on her nightstand. It read: Welcome to the Palace, if you require any assistance, call.
After reading the note, Aleshk got ready and wrote a note of her own, which she taped to the front of her door. Her note read: You're wonderful new neighbour Gia's room. I'm soon becoming a familiar, Da Svidanya(!
*Pop*
"You called, Venti?'
"Yeah, wanna go be my familiar now?"
"Sure! Let's go to Inazuma."
"Okay." Venti agreed.
With a *swoosh*Gia transformed into a pure white crow.
*Pop!*
"YOU!" a voice screeched.
"Not the Shogun again…" Gia grumbled.
"WHY ARE YOU HERE?"
"Stop yelling, my ears hear really well, and to answer your question, I'm just here to explore Inazuma!"
At that, the Raiden shogun used her Musou no Hitotachi on Gia, who was still in bird form and thankfully not on Venti's shoulder, as she was previously.
Much to the Shogun's annoyance, Gia was not a burnt spot on the ground.
"Wow, even as a bird you survived an archon's attack!" Venti complimented.
"Yeah, frail bird bones and all! I wasn't bluffing in the Abyss a-Oh, I gotta go war's a calling!"
"War?"
"Yeah, a very hard war at that. Don't come."
"Please~"
"Fine. Your funeral…it literally could be."
*Pop!*
Booms and Bangs ran out in the burning fields. Rivers of blood and fire along with spirals of smoke filled the area. Two familiar archons noticed Aleshk and Venti and approached them.
"Your Majesty, you have returned!" Zhongli 201 and Venti 201 exclaimed.
"Yep! How's everything?"
"It has been well. We defeated the general of the gods and the general of the Fatui, as well as the Fatui's main supply of Mora and supplies."
"Wonderful! Ei, Capitano, and Pantalone 201, I am honestly quite proud.
"Thank you." The two 201 archons bowed.
"Now, who are we fighting?"
"Your old otherworldly friend and your past lover." Venti 201 replied.
"Aether and Dottore 201? Hm…Prepare for Plan N." Aleshk commanded.
"Are you sure?" Zhongli 201 questioned.
"Yes." confirmed Aleshk.
Zhongli and Venti 201 turned and left to complete their orders.
"What's Plan N?" Venti asked.
"My version of nuking the whole place."
"WHAT!?"
"My…previous general thought of it…"
"Previous?"
"He…died." Aleshk said sadly.
"Oh…I'm sorry."
"Look, it's Xiao 201 and the Yakshas!" Gia announced, quickly changing the subject.
"Plan N is ready." Xiao told Aleshk, "Everyone is evacuated." Bosacious finished.
"Alrighty. Get to safety!"
They nodded and left.
"You should step back a little." Gia advised Venti, who stepped back.
Black and white flame gathered around a brobdingnagian bomb which flew up into the air, cast a large shadow over the whole expanse of the field. Aether and Dottore looked up in shock. As Aleshk slammed the bomb down and it exploded, the two men yelled. Dottore 201 called for his segment, which rushed to cover him.
*CRACK BOOOOOM!*
Smoke and black and white flame spread through the field. When the smoke cleared, Aether was reduced to ashes and Dottore was dying fast.
Venti and Gia approached the dying man.
"I should write a ballad of this, Gia~" Venti suggested.
"Heh…"
"W-Well done, my old *cough* frie-friend *cough* How'd you do the-the bomb? I'm *cough* imp-impressed."
"Thanks, it was a combination of-"
*cough!*
"-Well, anyways, my dear, I hope you have a peaceful eternal death."
"T-Thanks, Aleshk…enjoy your eternal life," Dottore then muttered under his breath, "my love…"
Aleshk extended her hand and the flames engulfed him.
"THE WAR…IS FINALLY FINISHED!" Gia announced.
Everyone cheered and Gia snapped all the debris and smoke away.
"I appoint Venti and Zhongli 201 to be the rulers of Teyvat 201! Thank you for your assistance, everyone! Goodbye for now, my dear friends!"
*Pop!*
THE END…