She jumps with the movement and noise of someone knocking on her window. Only his lower half is visible, but she knows who it is. She frantically wipes away her tears and reaches over for the presents as well as the bag of products she brought from home that she uses on the girl's hair whenever they spend the night at her - their place. Another sigh passes through her lips before she's opening the door.
"Hey E." He drawls as he immediately pulls her into a brotherly, bear hug. The sweet gesture makes her eyes start watering again, and she backs out of the embrace to rid her lids of the perspiration.
"Hey Kev." She sniffles as her gaze falls in hopes that her long time friend - her best friend's husband won't notice her inability to stop crying.
"I'd ask how you're doing, but I think I already know."
"Thanks." She grumbles - wondering if she really looks that bad.
"You want me to kick his ass?" He asks, but Erin can't tell by the expression on his face, if he's being serious or just trying to make her laugh. So she smirks sadly at that but shakes her head.
He nods in understanding and points towards the house, letting her lead the way up to the door. A chorus of Auntie Erin can be heard before they even step inside. And it's their little smiling faces that actually get Erin to smile genuinely for the first time in days. She drops to her knees and envelopes her favorite little ones in her arms.
"Happy Birthday, Sweet Peas." She plants a kiss to each of their cheeks.
"I swear they've been most excited about you getting here." Hailey exclaims as she walks down the stairs - appearing to be dressed for the day with her hair up in a topknot.
"I'm 'cited about presents too." Penelope admits, and Hailey chuckles at her older daughter's words.
"I want Gigi's cake." Prue adds as Erin stands up with the three year old in her arms.
"Me too, Rue." Erin agrees, because her mother-in-law's homemade cake and frosting is one of her comfort foods and she could go for a huge piece right now.
"So let's get your hair finished so we can start your party." Erin says, and she gently bounces her younger niece on her hip.
"Auntie Erin, can you teach me and Mommy how to braid?" Penelope asks sweetly as her aunt does her hair.
"Hey, I know how to braid."
"Not like Auntie Erin." Penelope defends and Hailey pokes out her bottom lip in mock offense.
"Of course." Erin replies with a chuckle, and she can practically feel the little girl's excitement radiating off of her in waves.
"TeeTee Vinessa said she would, but we only see her on the phone." Erin frowns, thinking of how hard it must be for both of Kevin's younger siblings to have only met their nieces a few times when they were babies, with the majority of their interactions since then being restricted to phone due to the busy schedules of the young adults.
"Who taught you how to braid?" Penelope questions.
"Penelope." Hailey says as she looks over at her daughter and then slightly up to her sister-in-law.
"It's ok, Hails...One of my friends taught me when I was little." Erin tells her and it gets Penelope to try and turn her head towards her.
"Was she bigger than you?" She asks next and Erin chuckles sadly, knowing that to the five-year-old, the word bigger actually means older.
"A little, I think she was two years older than me."
"Like me and sissy." Penelope says excitedly.
"Mhm."
"Did she have a little sister too?"
Erin hums in agreement again. "She had two little sisters that you and your sissy remind me of."
"They looked like us?"
"Yes, they did, but they were also sweet and sassy and smart." She tickles her with the last few words, and the girl laughs hardly.
"And you used to braid Mommy's hair when you were little?"
"Yup, the first night your mom and I became friends, I braided her hair while we waited for Gigi to pick her up." Erin leaves out the part that they were waiting in a police station of all places, and then the conversation stops there as Penelope gets distracted with something on her dress.
It makes Erin sad to think about the night her and Hailey met - of how scared the latter was and of how she reminded Erin of herself even though they were the same age and so young then. She thinks about her foster sisters, the very girls she learned how to braid hair from, because she wanted to help their big sister take care of them. It makes her heart ache for a different reason as she remembers the last day she saw the three sisters as they were taken by a social worker to be returned to their birth mother.
"Auntie Erin?" Penelope begins again after a little while just as Erin finishes the braids and little pink tail on the right side of her head.
"Mm?" Erin hums with a tiny rubberband held between her lips after being broken from her thoughts.
"Is Uncle Jay coming to the party?" She finishes and Erin looks over at Hailey who tenses and stops playing with Prue to look over at Erin again.
"Umm...I don't know El." She doesn't think he'll show, but she doesn't want to make the five-year-old in front of her sad - especially when she truly doesn't know.
"I hope he does, I miss him." Penelope murmurs and Erin refocuses on the bottom braid on the left side of her niece's head.
"Me too." Erin sighs after a beat, still staring at the last braid while mindlessly curling strands of hair with her fingers.
"Ok, go to your mom to get your edges done while I finish your sister's hair."
"Hi, Auntie Erin." Prue smiles as she walks over to her, and Erin chuckles as she leans forward to pick her up and pepper kisses to her face.
"Hi, Rue." She says back before she sets her younger niece down in front of her.
"I only want one braid." She demands as she looks over her shoulder at her aunt.
"Ok." Erin replies as she sprays some of the Mixed Baby serum onto the little girl's shoulder-length, dark brown waves. She combs the liquid through her hair and then parts it into four sections. She does a zig-zag braid down the middle, and the other three parts are twisted into separate buns in the back to keep her hair out of her face at least for most of the day. Prue stands up and takes her aunts hand and tugs to encourage Erin to stand up and they walk to the kitchen with Penelope close behind.
"No, I'll go get the plates and napkins." Hailey says exasperated as she grabs her keys off the hook and Kevin reach over her shoulder to take them from her.
"I'll get the fuc-"
"Little ears." Erin announces as she walks in with both Penelope and Prue.
"I can go get that stuff." She offers as she steps closer to the husband and wife.
"Erin-"
"It's fine, people will be getting here soon. I'll be right back." She concludes before grabbing her keys off the breakfast nook area.
As soon as she steps outside, she feels someone watching her. But something tells her it's not just anyone - getting the sense that it's him. She looks around, hoping her intuition is right but when she doesn't see him or anyone else for that matter, she brushes it off and continues to her Jeep - not noticing the old sedan parked a half block away - the occupant's eyes never leaving her.
His breath stops and his heart pounds seeing her. The green one piece she's wearing is new, it's different than anything he's seen her in before, but he likes it - loves it on her. She looks as beautiful as always, but she also looks lost and the longer he admires her from afar the stronger the urge to go to her becomes. He thinks that if she hadn't driven away that he wouldn't have been able to stop himself from running to her - no doubt taking her by surprise.
He has to duck down a little when she makes a U-turn and drives right past him. His heart pounds in his throat even more as he waits it out for a moment before climbing out of the car. He plucks the two gift bags off the passenger seat, closes the door, and then heads towards his sister's house - still having an internal debate on whether he should pop in to say hi to his family or leave the presents on the doorstep.
"Jay?" His mom says just as he's about to walk up the steps of Hailey and Kevin's front porch. And his decision is made for him, he's here and been caught so he might as well stay long enough to see his sister, brother-in-law and nieces.
"Hey, Ma." He turns to her, but he can't make eye contact - choosing instead to look at the ground then be met with the disappointment and judgement that he's sure will be clear on his mother's face.
"Look at me." Her voice is stern and cold - leaving no room for him not to give in to her demand. He looks up and immediately steps forward to take the cake boxes she has stacked and balanced in her hands.
"Are you in some sort of trouble?" She asks as soon as his eyes meet hers.
"I feel like that's a trick question, like if I say no, you'll say I am now." It's a joke, but his mom's clearly not in the mood.
She narrows her eyes at her son, letting him know to stop being a smartass - that now is not the time. "Since you're here, I'm assuming you'll be talking to your wife."
He bows his head again, hearing his mom sigh with the simple gesture.
"Did something happen between you two?"
"No." He shuts that down right away and shakes his head for emphasis. "No, she didn't do anything. I just have some things to take care of and it's better - safer - for her if she isn't involved."
"And there wasn't a better way to-"
"What makes you think you were still invited today?" Hailey steps out onto the porch, unknowingly interrupting the conversation between her mother and brother. Her voice possesses both a serious, angry tone and a joking one hidden beneath it.
"Why would you have uninvited me?" He eyebrows knit together in confusion, wondering if she had uninvited him and he hadn't seen it since he's switched phones and hasn't turned on his old one since that night last week.
"I'm not even going to dignify that with an answer."
"Technically that is an answer." Jay quips causing his little sister to roll her eyes.
"You're such a childish ass."
"Hailey Renee, language." Their mom scolds as she walks up the steps to stand beside her youngest child.
"Sorry Mom, but he's playing games with my-"
"C'mon Hails, I just wanted to stop by and give my favorite nieces their gifts." Jay interrupts her - not in the mood to be given a hard time about leaving his wife and most of the family in the dark.
Hailey rolls her eyes as she takes the bag from her mom and shakes her head at her brother. "They're your only nieces."
"Exactly, besides I'll only be here a few minutes." He adds just after they step inside and he sets the cakes on the kitchen island. He's about to defend his decision to attend the party when Prue comes barreling towards him and jumps into her uncle's arms. Jay catches the three-year-old with ease before tossing her up in the air and catching her again causing the little girl to erupt in a fit of giggles.
"Hey...Prue." He greets as she hugs his neck as tight as she can.
"Uncle Jay made it." Penelope says excitedly as her family walks into the backyard.
"Of course I did Nelly. I wouldn't miss it, but I can't stay long."
"I actually think it'd be best if you go now." Kevin tells him as he stands up from his chair.
"Kevin." Hailey whispers as she places a hand on her husband's chest.
"Nah, we're not about to be apart of this." Kevin shakes his head, but he doesn't look at his wife.
"Do you have something to say Kev?" Jay steps towards his long time friend and brother-in-law.
"Matter of fact, I do."
"Why don't we head inside Pumpkins and set up your cakes, huh?" Hailey and Jay's mom suggests to the girls so they're not privy to the adults conversation.
"He's just here to give the girl's their presents." Hailey tells Kevin, hoping the mention of their daughter's will help squash this before it becomes too serious.
"Yeah, and still avoid Erin in the process, who'll be crushed if she finds out he was here." Kevin outlines as he too steps towards Jay, while also holding Hailey steady so he doesn't knock her down.
"That's why I was I hoping you guys wouldn't tell her." Jay replies and Hailey closes her eyes and sighs.
Kevin shakes his head and his bottom jaw is stuck out just a little as he scowls at the suggestion. "Unlike you, we don't plan on hurting her."
"Why do you care so much?" Jay finally asks.
"She's a friend, like a sister and you hurt her - still are hurting her. This isn't the way to go about this. If it were me doing this to your sister you'd be just as pissed." Kevin points out and Jay can't disagree with that, but that's not the situation.
"Maybe, but-"
"But nothing, what you're doing to your girl is wrong." Kevin snarls and Hailey grabs her husband's face and gets him to look down at her. She whispers something to him that neither her mom nor Jay can hear, but they can see Kevin visibly relax with Hailey's words.
"I'll text and ask Erin if she can grab some ice while she's out." Hailey tells them as she pulls out her phone and does as she said she would, buying her brother a little more time. She walks inside and doesn't notice the manila envelope her brother hands to her husband.
"You know I meant what I said, man. Erin deserves to know." Kevin tells him and Jay nods.
"I know, but I'm choosing to ask them for forgiveness rather than permission for this one, Kev." Jay nods as Hailey walks back outside with both Prue and Penelope.
The condensation from the two small bags of ice drip onto her foot and actually make her shiver as she walks back inside her best friend's house. She can hear that a few people have arrived as she nears the dining room where the snacks are set up with the cakes on platters for each girl on either side of the long table. The bags in her hands are set on an area rug in the middle of the floor and she immediately pulls out the purple and pink napkins, paper plates and plastic untensils to set them in their designated spots on the table among the food.
She tosses one of the bags of ice into the freezer and starts to take the other one outside to split between the coolers but she stops when she hears Prue yell her name from somewhere behind her.
"Look." She shows her a teddy bear with a bracelet that matches the one on her tiny wrist.
Erin gasp in excitement as she looks from the bear up to her niece. "Who got that for you Rue?"
"Uncle Jay gabe it to me." Prue smiles as she runs her hand over the top of the stuffed animal's head. It's an innocent statement from the little girl, obviously not knowing it would knock the wind of her aunt. Erin attempts a smile as she stands from her spot at the edge of the couch and makes her way back towards the backyard - the dripping bag of ice still clutched in her hand.
Their laughter can be heard from inside as she takes the final step to the door. She takes a deep breath and peers outside, but doesn't see him. Someone mentions his name though - how the friends of the family just missed him. Erin grits her teeth as she walks over to the coolers and dumps the melting chips in to cover the old ice and the various bottles and cans lining the inside of the blue and white bin. The lid falls shut as soon as she lets it go and someone walks up behind her.
"Hey Erin, thanks for that."
Erin just nods, not being able to look at her friend at the moment - knowing that she was only asked to get the ice to allow Jay to come and go without her running into him. She wasn't going to bring up the fact that she knows her husband was here, but she can't stop the words from falling off her lips.
"I guess it gave you just enough time for him to hang out and then slip away?" She doesn't mean for it to come as a question, but she doesn't try to correct herself either.
"Erin-"
"And then for you to laugh at the fact that you pulled it off." Erin scuffs as she shakes her head at whatever Hailey was going to say.
"Erin, sweetheart that's not what was going on." Her mother-in-law defends, but Erin just sighs in disbelief.
"I'd love to believe that Ms. Georgia, but how can I? He just left me with nothing, but a note with three sentences on it. I volunteered to get the napkins and plates, but the ice was a way to buy time." The anger and pain she feels inside is evident in her words - the statement coming off rougher and sharper than before.
"He just showed up Erin, and I was going to kick him out - Kevin tried, but the girls were excited to see him. And at the end of the day he is my brother, her son." Hailey gestures towards her mom and continues. "What did you expect us to do? Shun him?"
"Of course not, you're his family...I just-" Erin deflates - her shoulders sag as she looks down at the ground. "You're right, I'm sorry." Then she turns to walk away.
"Auntie Erin."
"Hey Sweet Pea." Erin sniffles as she quickly wipes at her face before turning to face her older niece.
"You leaving again?"
"No, I was just going back to my car for something." It's not a complete lie, she isn't leaving and she was going back to her car to have a moment to herself again.
"You sad that you didn't see Uncle Jay?"
"Yeah, El, I am." Erin admits and the five-year-old doesn't say anything to that - instead she has a seat next to her aunt and leans over to hug her as tightly as she can and then she kisses her aunt's cheek.
"Uncle Jay told me to give you a hug and kiss from him." Penelope tells her as she cuddles into Erin's side.
"And he said that he loves you times infinity and that he misses you."
Erin smiles sadly at how the little girl worded it, but her heart aches with the message. She finds herself wondering if he actually meant it, or if it's just another way to string her along. With a shake of her head she focuses back on her niece as they talk about the new Ariel doll that Jay brought her.
"Auntie Erin can we go see the new Little Mermaid where Ariel looks like me and sissy?"
Erin just nods to answer - still lost in her thoughts. She manages to listen to Penelope while her mind rewinds to a few years ago.
She hears the door open followed by the sound of it closing just seconds later. His footsteps are somehow, simultaneously, heavy and quiet. The sound of his gait is one that she's quickly become accustomed to and it's now familiar. It has the tension in her shoulders releasing just knowing he's here without her even seeing him yet. His smiling face as he comes into view makes her heart leap out of her chest and her stomach flip. They haven't seen each other in a few days and she's missed him - something that he's quickly made aware of as she practically runs to him and jumps into his arms. Her lips meet his in a heated, passionate kiss that seems to last forever before the need for air breaks them apart.
"Hi." He murmurs against her cheek after placing a kiss there. She whispers the simple greeting back and verbalizes to him how much she missed him. Her cheeks become warm with the admittance, and she knows she's blushing so she buries her face in the crook of his neck - something she's done plenty of times before, but in a different way than now. Her feet fall to the floor and his hold on her waist remains until he knows she steady. His eyes bore into hers - the mesmerizing green orbs sparkle as he leans in for another kiss. The timer for their dinner goes off and causes her to pull away from his lips again. She gives him one more quick peck before making her way back around the kitchen island and making them plates.
They finish their food quickly and after setting the last plate in the dish washer they head to the living room. He puts on the Cubs game and then she cuddles into his side. She can feel him watching her, but it's in a comforting way - a way that makes her feel safe and she leans into his side more.
"I love you." He tells her and at first she thinks she's imagining it - that her mind is playing tricks on her. But when she looks up at him and sees the look he's been giving her more and more over the last several months, she knows it wasn't a figment of her imagination or that she misheard him.
"What?" She still questions - her mouth taking time to catch up with her mind and heart as she sits up a little while remaining in his arms.
"I uh...shit I'm-"
"Please don't say you're sorry." She closes her eyes as she realizes that he may be regretting the fact that he let those three words slip so soon.
"I'm not - I mean I wasn't going to. I just missed you the last few days too, and I've wanted to tell you for a while. Being apart just reaffirmed what I already knew and I wanted to say it, even if you didn't feel the same yet, but I'm realizing that I may sound-" He rambles adorably and it causes Erin to giggle lightly as she leans in for yet another kiss.
"I love you too." She says, her heart pounding in the moment, because the way she feels for him is a first - it's something she never thought she'd get to feel and experience. It scares her to have her heart in such a vulnerable state. But she shakes her head of that and focuses back on him as he teases the hem of the baggie sweatshirt of his that she's wearing.
"Hailey's going to be pissed when she finds out we're not only together but-"
He shakes his head to stop her after pushing his pants and boxers down to his knees. She pouts in confusion and waits for him to say what he's disagreeing with.
"I don't want to talk about my sister right now." He says seriously as he pulls his girlfriend on his lap and she nods in agreement.
Hailey quietly steps onto the front porch and looks at her friend of almost twenty years. She knows that her sister-in-law is hurting and she recognizes that she only made matters worse by unintentionally insinuating that their family doesn't include her.
"Hey." The blonde greets as she takes her daughter's previous spot on the step next to Erin.
"Hey." Erin sniffles as she blinks back her tears and rids herself of the distant memory of her and Jay. Then there's a pregnant pause as Hailey thinks of how to word her apology.
"When you and Jay first told us that you were together, I didn't know how to feel. I was happy for you both, of course, but the other part dreaded what would happen if things didn't work out for you guys. Me, my mom, Kevin and the girls, we'd all be torn between two parts of our family." She starts, taking a break to check in with Erin and that she isn't being pushed further away.
"You've been apart of the family long before you got into a relationship with Jay and you always will be - no matter what. And I'm sorry for the way things came across back there - for making you think that we don't have your back too." Hailey adds after a beat and Erin smiles weakly at her words.
"I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have addressed it the way I did either." Erin shrugs and Hailey pulls her in for a side hug.
"You know I meant what I said last week about the look my brother gets in his eyes when someone mentions you. Except now you can see how he's beating himself up knowing that he's causing you pain. And even more than that, I could still see that he loves you and how much he misses you."
"I hope so." Erin says as she sets her elbows on her knees and her chin comes to rest in her hands just before Hailey pulls her in for another side hug that lasts a little longer than the first one.
"At the risk of sounding crazy or pathetic, I honestly think I miss him enough that I don't even think I'd be mad at him if he just came home. If he was at home - laying on the couch or cooking dinner - as if he hadn't just left, I don't think I could hold the last week against him." Erin sniffles again - unable to hold back her tears any longer.
"I don't think it sounds crazy or pathetic - especially since I'll give him a hard time and remind him of what an ass he is, for you, when he gets home." Hailey admits, and Erin actually laughs at that - both women smile big enough for their dimples to show on either side of their lips.
Erin longs for the day she gets to see the beautiful, smiling face of her husband again - the day she comes home to him and gets to hear him say I love you directly to her.