Jake would give anything to talk to Rose right now, but he doesn't even know where she is, and he knows it's safer that way.

He also knows he can't stay here for nearly as long as he'd like.

If Rose has been sent after him as he suspects, this won't be the first place she'll look for him, not if she's with others, but if she goes for too long without finding anything—

Jake lets out a slow breath and shifts, drawing his legs up to his chest. He's warm enough without the blankets he's given Susan, even though the rough stone ledge is cold beneath him and the wind that flits through the mouth of the cave has cooled with the night. The city sounds more distant than it is, muffled by stone that only amplifies the quiet lapping of water.

It will protect them for now, but it won't protect them forever.

Depending on who is sent after him and which resources they've been given, it may not protect them for long enough.

He's not aware of the Huntsclan having the ability to track down specific agents, but he hardly knows everything. Even Rose isn't privy to all of that information, especially if it's something the research and development division hasn't released for field trials. But even if he has managed to slip away and buy himself some time, he doesn't know where he'll go from here.

And he doesn't know what will become of those he's left behind.

He doesn't know what will be done to Rose. He doesn't know where the American Dragon is hiding. He doesn't even know the name of Susan's confidant, the man who had gone to investigate the front of the shop. Jake still suspects it was someone from the Huntsclan—they're undoubtedly looking everywhere for him, and for all that the shop might appear ordinary from the street, there is too much magic in its walls to go undetected by someone specifically looking for it once they cross its threshold—but if it was, what then? The man won't be able to give them Jake's location, but he could certainly give up Susan's description, and it isn't unreasonable to think he'd be able to give up so much more than that.

But what if he won't? Or what if he does and it's still not deemed enough to spare his life?

He'd been kind.

Maybe it's because so much has happened, maybe it's because of everything he's learned, but Jake's emotions feel like they're on a wire, and he doesn't want anyone else to be caught in the net meant to snare him—especially not when it's a net of his own making that he hadn't realized was slowly tightening around him until it was too late.

He can't save himself. He can't save Rose. He can't save his birth family. He can't even save their friends.

Not if he stays away from the Huntsclan, anyway.

He'd told Susan he wouldn't leave her here, and he suspects his earlier oath will keep him to his word, but—

But wouldn't it be better for everyone else if he turns himself over to Rose?

If they do stay here, if he lets her find him here— Wouldn't that be for the best? He can pretend he had simply meant to run away, pretend that he'd met Susan and had begun planning his flight because he'd learned what life could be like outside the Huntsclan. Maybe, if he is certain they haven't any idea who she really is, he can even admit they suspect having a familial connection.

He can pretend he isn't a dragon and that he doesn't have magical blood in his veins, and Rose can take him in without compromising her own position.

He likely won't see her again after that—compromised agents never return, and there is no way out of this where he won't be labelled as compromised—but at least she would be safe.

Susan wouldn't escape without undergoing interrogation unless he could convince her to leave first, but maybe, if she can withstand the Huntsclan's methods, the rest of her family would be safe.

Assuming she isn't already on the Huntsclan's radar, at least, and she will be if they know of her connections in the magical world from her previous run-ins with other agents or of his past meetings with her. If they know how long he's been meeting her, if they know he's been meeting her at all, everything becomes much more difficult to predict. Knowledge of the magical world wouldn't necessarily be a death sentence for her, not even if she refuses to give anything up, but if they find out who she is—

If they find out what she is—

There's too much he doesn't know. There's a chance the worst isn't the scenario he'll face, but he's loath to do much more than hope it isn't. Planning that it won't be, betting that it won't be, is a danger he's not sure he can afford. Still, if the Huntsclan doesn't know everything, if they don't find out—

Maybe the shop will only be linked to the magical world and not to the dragons.

Maybe the American Dragon—his sister—will be safe.

Maybe his father, being human, can feign ignorance and be left out of it entirely. Surely that can't be too hard to do; it's not like Jake has ever met him, and Susan hasn't trusted him with her husband's name. Susan has surely told him about Jake, but if his father hasn't been at the shop, if he can't be tracked—

There is the soft scuff of cloth on stone behind him. "Jake?"

Jake hums an inquiring note but doesn't turn around.

He isn't entirely surprised that Susan isn't asleep.

Her breathing had never evened out like he'd hoped it would.

"Maybe we should switch off," she says. "You must be tired."

"I'm fine," he counters, careful to keep his voice as quiet as hers. "I'm used to this."

He hears more movement and a series of clicks, and he's suddenly squinting at the bright light that flares up behind him. Before he has a chance to protest, the light that reaches the water disappears, and he glances over his shoulder to see Susan constructing a blind out of her supplies to fashion around the lantern. Under the aluminum foil's guidance, the light is reflected more upward than outward and seems to grant more light than it should even on its lowest setting.

"We shouldn't use the lantern unless we need it," he says. "It's too risky now that the sun's set."

"It won't be easily seen from here by anyone but the merfolk and other magical creatures who dwell in their realm. Besides, I thought we could keep talking if you don't want to sleep yet. Isn't there anything else you want to know?"

Of course there are things he wants to know, but he doesn't know what he should ask first, and right now—

Right now, it seems easiest to ask nothing at all.

He can't entirely trust her, just as she surely doesn't entirely trust him.

He doubts she'll ever be able to entirely trust him. Even if he escapes the Huntsclan and keeps in touch with her, he'll never know as much as her real family. He'll never even know as much as her confidant. There's nothing he can do that would make her comfortable with that level of risk—and he'll always be a risk.

He's not sure why she's so convinced that he can break away from the Huntsclan. He's bound to them by birth. That's a stronger bond than any initiate who chose this life. He'd have an easier time breaking away from her and whatever this blood oath his magic holds him to than he would breaking away from them.

Would that be possible? Breaking his oath to her before she's broken her side of things? Sure, she'd said he could, but is there a way to do that without these mysterious right circumstances, whatever they are, coming to fruition? If he can't convince her to leave—and he doubts he can—or trick her into voiding their bargain, can he just choose to break his word to her? He might be bound by his own magic, but it can't be very strong, and he doesn't value it nearly as much as she seems to think he does. If it's weak, is it also brittle?

Right now, it still feels more like a curse than a blessing, even if it does tie him to his birth family.

After he'd finally gotten used to the idea of being a dragon, accepted that this is somehow natural, despite how unnatural it had initially felt— After all that, after getting closer to accepting himself for who he is and that he is somehow part of the magical world and always has been, finding how that his own magic can betray him, can put a power behind his words that words aren't meant to have—

He doesn't know enough, and he isn't sure he trusts her to explain it despite her promise. She might be telling him the truth, but that doesn't mean she isn't only telling him what she thinks he wants to hear. She's already proven herself to be as tricky as the magical creatures who raised her.

He supposes he shouldn't have expected anything different.

"If you don't want to ask me something right now, do you mind if I ask you something?" When he doesn't answer, Susan continues, "Will you tell me about Huntsgirl?"

She doesn't want to talk.

She wants to rehash their earlier conversation to try to find her way to a different outcome, one that she deems more favourable.

He plays along anyway.

"Huntsgirl is Huntsgirl." What else is there to say? Anything he tells her about Rose might put Rose in danger, whatever pact Susan has made with him. He doesn't intend to risk Rose simply to shatter this binding. "She's Huntsgirl because she's very good at what she does."

The slight frown on Susan's face makes him suspect she can hear the unspoken words at the end of his sentence: as you must already know.

Susan's fingers begin to tap out a rhythm on her knee. "She's also kind. Your sister says so, at least. And she was willing to put you above the Huntsclan before. Why do you think she won't do it again?"

"Because she cannot afford to." His frustration has leaked into his voice, and he can't seem to tamp it down. Of course, that's likely because he doesn't want to. Not really. "I already told you that, but you still seem to be imagining an end to this where I stay with you, where none of us are hunted by the Huntsclan, where Huntsgirl can remain my friend. You must know that won't happen."

Her fingers freeze, hovering in their positions for a second before slowly curling into a fist. "You think it is idealistic to have hope."

It isn't quite a question, but her sharp look dares him to deny it.

Jake looks away. "It's not about hope." He does hope. It feels thin, fragile, but finding his family—and finding them to be a loving family—is something he'd never hoped for as a child. He'd always had Rose, a comfort amongst the cutthroat, but now that he's found Susan, now that he's met his sister, and neither of them look at him with disgust any more than Rose ever has? He knows that even a wan hope can bear fruit.

The question isn't about hope.

Or, if it is, maybe it's that they're hoping for different things.

Jake knows what they're up against better than Susan does, and he knows the Huntsclan won't simply give up on finding him.

"I already said what will happen," he says softly. "The Huntsclan will find me, whether it's Huntsgirl herself or someone else, and I'll be dragged back. If they have discovered what I am—or if they can surmise as much because they have discovered who you are—then I will suffer the same fate as any dragon. If they think I've run off on my own or allowed myself to be taken, I will fare little better."

"So you don't even want to try to survive?"

The challenge in her voice is enough to have him looking back at her. "What?"

"You've given up. That's what you're telling me, isn't it?"

Is it?

He doesn't see it the same way she does. It's not that he doesn't hope for a better outcome—he does—but he's hoping for the smaller things first. He's hoping to get through the night without detection, that Rose will be spared the consequences of his actions, that his birth family will be safe and, for his sake, that they're better than what he's always believed of magical creatures. He's not hoping that the Huntsclan will simply abandon their search for him because he cannot imagine that happening in any scenario.

What he is doing now is little more than catching his breath, getting a little bit more time, before the inevitable happens. People do not simply flee from the Huntsclan. They are found. They are always found. He wants to delay the finding for as long as possible, long enough that he has time to come up with a plan, somehow, if there's any plan to be had, but—

He's not sure if even those within their first year who choose to leave are as free to go as he'd once believed.

There's a soft touch on his arm. "If you decide to renounce the Huntsclan, it'll be a step towards successfully getting away from them. It doesn't have to be the first step, but if it is, you may find the rest easier."

He feels his mouth twist. "I already gave you my answer to that." Whatever honeyed words Susan uses, it won't change the fact that doing so will make it that much harder to reconcile with Rose.

"Is that why you wish to remain here? Because you hope Huntsgirl will find you here on your own? You don't have another plan."

She shouldn't know him well enough to know that, but he doesn't bother to deny it.

"I can hardly guarantee us sanctuary within the magical world if you are still tied to the Huntsclan. I'm willing to face them myself, but I am not willing to put my friends in such a position without anything concrete. Dragons are the protectors of the magical world. I cannot simply ask someone else to endanger themselves on our behalf. If they were to volunteer to take on the risk themselves, that would be different, but…." Her voice dwindles to nothing. Though he waits, she doesn't continue.

He finishes the sentiment for her. "But as the mother of the American Dragon, you can't ask. You can't even imply." It's not a smile that stretches across his face as he flashes his teeth at her. "But you can leave."

"Jake."

He starts at the name. He's never sure when she'll use it, but he hadn't thought she'd use it now. If anything, he expected she would go back to calling him 99 while he continues to oppose her. How can she still see him more as Jake, as her son, than as the Huntsclan agent who is defying her instead of acquiescing to her wishes for what she clearly thinks is the best option?

"It will take more than this to convince me to leave you to face this alone."

He stares out towards the mouth of the cave, refusing to acknowledge that she is right about what he is doing.

He might not know how to break this pact of theirs on his own yet, but he'll figure it out.

Until he does, trying to push her away is the best option for her.

It isn't for him, but there's precious little when it comes to good options for him.

He hadn't allowed himself to properly entertain the idea that she could hide him somewhere, not even after realizing the extent of her connections. Perhaps it's just as well that her words have dashed that hope before it could really take root in his heart.

Of course, he's not sure any sanctuary she finds would be the sanctuary she thinks it is. A little bit of makeup will hardly hide his identity forever if she isn't forthcoming with whomever she would ask for help, and the Huntsclan isn't the only group he's worried about.

The Huntsclan he knows. He understands them. He knows what to expect, even when stretched to the limits of his knowledge.

But he only knows what he has been taught of the magical world and the dragons who exert their power and influence over it.

No magical creature would turn him over the Huntsclan, but what would stop them from turning him over to someone who trusts him a lot less than Susan does?

He can't stay here forever, but he doesn't have anywhere to run.

"You need to get some sleep," Susan murmurs. "You've had an exhausting day."

He can't afford to sleep. He needs to figure this out.

If he leaves here, he can risk leaving a message for Rose. As long as it isn't too obvious what it is, he can let her know he's okay. That, while his hand was forced when he stumbled upon the hideout of the dragons, running now is his choice. He's not sure how he can convey all that, nor what medium his message might take, but he's not sure where he'll go once he leaves here, either.

Jake's fingernails dig into his palms. "You said you didn't think I had a plan beyond getting here. So let's pretend we'd go with your plan before I decide anything. What is it if it's not asking for sanctuary?"

Susan is silent for a long moment. Finally, "I never said I didn't think we could ask for sanctuary."

"You said you couldn't guarantee it."

"And I can't."

"You also said you couldn't ask other magical creatures to risk themselves for a member of the Huntsclan. And it's not—" He isn't sure how best to say this, but he faces her again as he tries. "I understand that. I do. When the Huntsclan finds me, they'll find whoever is hiding me. But I don't see why you would count on a plan of sanctuary you don't seem to think would be granted."

"If the Huntsclan finds you."

Her correction is quiet but firm, and Jake rolls his eyes at her. "And who in the magical world besides you do you think would take that risk without coercion?"

The smile that appears on Susan's face is small. "I never said I would ask someone from the magical world."

What?

"Get some sleep," Susan repeats. "It'll be easier to make your decision once you have, and even a few hours will make a world of difference. I'll keep watch."

Jake stares, not sure if she'll elaborate even if he asks. He has little doubt she'd find some way of dodging the question and turning the topic to something else; she's as good as done that to him now.

"Please?"

Jake lets his acquiescence answer for him, but the first thing he does is turn off the lamp. He can see well enough without it, she'll see anyone coming better without it (a search party will use a light intermittently, as deemed necessary by the team leader), and it's a tiny act of defiance in a situation where it's becoming increasingly apparent that he was only ever given the illusion of control.

He may have chosen their current hiding spot, and he may refuse to renounce the Huntsclan before speaking with Rose, but Susan is holding more cards than he'd realized.

She'll play them—play him—when she thinks it necessary.

If he's not careful, she won't need a blood oath to tie them together; circumstance will force him to rely on her even more than he is now.

If she can keep him safe from the Huntsclan, that's not necessarily a bad thing, but it— He—

This doesn't hold the familiar comfort that going along with one of Rose's plans would. It might not be contrived, but he's getting a much better idea of how much Susan is saying and how much she isn't. Almost everything she says to him is carefully crafted, constructed to win him over to her side, and he—

Part of him wants to be drawn in, to accept her terms, to let her take care of him, to have her as family.

The rest of him wants to fight tooth and nail against this meticulous manipulation by a magical creature before he falls even deeper into a trap he's known to avoid all his life.

He doesn't know what the right choice is.

He had the chance to confide in Rose and get her opinion on everything, to get the advice he's leaned on for as long as he can remember, but—like the fool he is—he didn't.

Now, he's left to figure this out on his own, and he isn't sure if he can. He's not even sure he can approach the situation clearly when his heart and his head are telling him two different things.

"Good night, Jake." Susan's voice is quieter than before but carries easily to his ears. A part of him is thrilled that she's still using his name despite his stubbornness, but another part whispers to him that this might be another way of manipulating him. A name is so much more human than a number, and she doesn't want distance between them. "Sleep well. I— I love you."

He doesn't answer.

Even if he knew what to say, words would never slip past the lump in his throat.