Colour me in Firelight

Spoiler Warning - following on from the end of Season 3, what if Eliza said something different on the steps of Scotland Yard

I like writing a little story for the end of each season, and this one had taken a while to get into the right head space given how far apart our duo are, but I wondered, what if Eliza was a little bit braver and said something slightly different when William asked about continuing their dinners and therefore changing the trajectory of where S3 ends, so here it is...

Part 1

Eliza Scarlet and William Wellington stood on the steps of Scotland Yard watching Enoch Lyndhurst being walked into the Yard ready for questioning on his involvement in the train robbery of the Jewel of the North. They had done this many times, watched a suspect be led into the Yard to be booked in, and on any normal day, it would be an insignificant event. But on this day, a simple choice of words would change the path of their relationship…

As the constable passed them with Enoch in cuffs, William's eyes gazed back to Eliza, knowing that it was likely if he let her walk away, he wouldn't see her again till the next case whenever that might be. It could be weeks or months as their relationship balanced on the edge of something unrecognisable from what it was. So, he took a breath and decided to try one last time to keep hold of their friendship as he felt it slipping through his fingers.

He moved down a step to be at eye level with Eliza to both stop her from leaving and to be able to address her directly. After working with her the previous few days, he knew he missed her and had to say something.

"Eliza, I know that things between us can be rather complex, but to be frank, I miss your company."

Eliza smiled, because deep down she had missed him too, and after spending the last two days together, she knew walking away and continuing to avoid him would be even harder than before.

"I know your feelings about Arabella, but we are old friends. Surely, we can still go out for our monthly dinners, just the two of us…"

Eliza's heart dropped to her stomach as she realised what he was suggesting, and it took all her might to not let the emotions stirring inside her bubble over.

"Yes, it's unconventional, but when did you ever care about convention?"

She couldn't look at him for a moment because her heart was breaking inside. This wasn't what she wanted. Yet she could see he was happy with Arabella, and she knew that Arabella would make a wife that William wanted far more than she ever could, so who was she to stand in the way of his happiness? Yet, something overcame her, and the words tumbled out of her mouth before she could stop them.

"And what if I don't want to share you?" Her voice broke a little as she spoke, giving away a fraction of her pain.

William's face dropped as he looked at her blinking with confusion, and he took a moment for her words to sink in.

With his lack of response, Eliza stepped down past him, almost wishing she had never said anything because what was the point, it wasn't going to change the situation, he was with Arabella. Only, William spun around and reached out to grab hold of her arm, stopping her from leaving.

"What do you mean?" he asked, suddenly filled with a mixture of panic and hope. His eyes tried to search hers, but she wouldn't look at him.

"It doesn't matter." Eliza shook her head avoiding his eyes, and once again tried to leave, but William held her arm firmly. He stepped down once again to be at her eye level and moved his head into her eye list to make her look at him.

"It does. It does matter…" he said softly, almost imploring her to hear the meaning hidden in his words.

Eliza tried to choose her words wisely because she was afraid and on the verge of losing herself completely.

"… I don't … want to share you," she shrugged. "With Arabella… or any other woman in your life."

William looked shocked and almost speechless, and Eliza felt his grip loosen on her arm a little. She fought the feeling inside that was telling her to run away as fast as her feet could carry her. Instead, she stayed, and held her breath, as she waited for William to say something.

"Eliza… Please, tell me that means what I think it does…" It was whispered and pleading because he needed to hear it. He tried to crush the hope that she wanted more from building inside and killing him slowly.

A tiny smile appeared on Eliza's lips, while her eyes were filled with glassy sadness as she heard the pleading tone in his voice, yet she wasn't sure exactly how to respond, so she innocently shrugged. After all, how could she possibly know what he wanted it to mean? Just ten seconds ago he was practically asking her to meet him for dinners quietly on the side.

A noise behind William made him turn away and Eliza breathed a sigh that she wasn't lost under his gaze. If she had wanted to, she probably could have pulled her arm from his grip and walked away, but she made no move to leave for once.

As he turned back to her, she watched him shaking his head before he closed his eyes and took a deep breath then looked back at her. This wasn't the time or the place for this conversation, but he knew it was one they desperately needed to have.

"Please, meet me at your house, tonight," he begged her.

"Why?" Eliza asked confused, and William seemed to huff with frustration.

"Just, tell me you'll be there. Eight O'clock?"

Eliza looked around and saw that the few Police Constables who were milling around the street were starting to stare at them, and she realised that perhaps this wasn't the place for the conversation they needed to have. Nodding she showed her agreement.

"Good." His eyes seemed to suddenly shine in the sunlight as a slight smile danced on his lips.

With a nod, he let go of her arm, and despite being free to leave Eliza took a moment to just look at him. She felt the crossroads they were at, and yet she didn't know where they went from here. She gave him a sad half-smile, before turning and moving towards a cab. William watched her leave, with a mixture of fear and hope in his heart. He knew what he had to do.

"Eliza's ambition will outweigh everything, even her feelings for you. Nothing will ever be enough for her, certainly not the future you envisage."

Arabella's words hung in his ears as he dragged his heels down the front steps of her house. His shoulders were deflated, and his chin hung so low against his chest that it was a surprise his hat hadn't fallen off.

He quietly walked to his waiting carriage, feeling suitably awful at ending things with Arabella, he said nothing to his waiting driver and just got inside. His heart felt like a stone in his chest, because in trying to hold on to everything he knew he'd lost it all instead. The carriage rocked as the driver settled on top and a heavy sigh escaped from William as he shook his head at how unbelievably wrong everything had gone, and he knew it was his fault.

He had planned to let Arabella down gently, it was the right thing to do after all. The fact that he was late after getting his office back and finishing the paperwork for the robbery and that Arabella was dressed for dinner in her evening gown did little to help. He went to tell her they needed to talk, but she beat him to it. As if she knew his heart wasn't in it, she correctly surmised Eliza was the true reason for his distraction, and she was ending their courtship. Even as he tried to form some words, he knew there was no point in denying her assumptions.

He stood speechless as she told him freely that he was in love with Eliza, and that try as he might to hide it by suggesting how much she vexed him, it was obvious to everyone. Then she dealt her final blow, the harsh words still ringing in his ears. Eliza's work meant more to her than he did, and that he couldn't deny. She had barely given him an inkling that she wanted to be more than "old friends", and it hurt more than he cared to admit each time she uttered those two words.

His thoughts were a jumbled mess in his mind. He loved her but was almost sure she didn't feel the same way. To her, he was someone to come to when she needed help with a case. Sure, she didn't mind the occasional dinner, but he wanted more, he was ready for that now.

Did it matter how he felt if Eliza wanted something different to him? She didn't want to get married or have a family like he did. But… she'd mentioned a ring. More specifically him buying her a ring…. She'd said she didn't want to share him. Did that even mean anything or was she teasing him? Giving him false hope as she always did?

He laughed to himself, as he realised that he'd just been brutally shown the door by Arabella, and yet the person who was on his mind was still Eliza. The truth was there for all to see, even him. There was only one place he wanted to be, and he knocked on the roof of his carriage to alert the driver and give his destination.

Eliza sat in her drawing room tucked up on the settee with a blanket, reading her book with a glass of whiskey in her hand. She sipped it slowly, but she'd become accustomed to the burning of the amber liquid and how it warmed her inside. She wasn't paying much attention to the book; she was too anxious as she awaited William's arrival. She missed Ivy since the house was far too quiet without her, and with the case of the Jewel of the North solved, there was little to take her mind off the inevitable.

She looked at the clock on the mantel ticking away the seconds as if it were counting down to her death. It was just after eight, and any moment now William would arrive, and say something, but what? She wasn't even sure what she wanted to hear from him.

Would she lose him completely tonight, she wondered? Did it even matter anymore since she already felt like she had lost him to Arabella? How much more could it hurt if he said he wanted to continue that relationship? She had already resolved to walk away completely if he did, she wasn't going to get in the way of his happiness or become some odd third wheel. She might not like Arabella, but she knew how she deserved to be treated by William.

What if he chose her? And if he did, did she want him to? Choosing her would mean she would need to give up some of herself to him. Was she ready to do that? To allow some compromise in the face of keeping him. Would the sacrifice be too much, and could she even be what he wanted? She didn't know how to be obedient and did not want William telling her what she could or could not do.

Reluctantly, she closed her book and stared at the yellow and orange flames of the fire that were dancing in the fireplace, filling the room with a warm hue. Her conversation with Moses played on her mind, his suggestion that she should choose just one thing instead of her list of things she wanted, was he right? Was she setting herself up for failure? Ivy was planning to marry Barnabas, Moses was probably leaving for Paris with Patrick any day, and she was once again being left behind.

She wanted to grow her business, employ a couple of staff, be hired for better cases, and have people realise her for her talent, was that too much to ask? Then of course there was William. His fake proposal in the jewellery shop had thrown her, as she wondered, was he playing her at her own game, or did he mean it… She shook the thought away, unwilling to think of what it meant further.

She almost jumped out of her skin at the sound of the familiar firm loud knock at the front door. She let out a deep sigh and suddenly felt sick to her stomach. She was putting off the inevitable and she knew it. Slowly, she unfolded herself from the settee, placed her glass on the drinks table and walked towards the front door with her heart pounding in her chest and an unfamiliar feeling of dread in her stomach.

In the hallway, she'd left a single lit candle that chased away the darkness of the evening, as the heels of her boots clicked against the wooden floor. She placed her hand against the doorknob and took a deep breath, mentally preparing herself before she opened it.

Her heart gave a jump when she saw William standing back with his foot on her top step and his eyes seemed to glance over her. Was he as nervous as she felt?

"William,"

For a moment they both just stared at each other, caught on the edge of possibilities with their slow breaths the only sound.

The second Eliza opened the door and he saw her in the warm glow of the candlelight she stole his breath. All the words that William had been thinking during the carriage journey, everything he was going to say went out of his head. Nothing sounded right anyway. There was only one thing he could do at that moment, and it surprised him how easily it came to mind.

He simply stepped forward and in a single movement wrapped his arms around her waist, pulled her into him, and pressed his lips to hers. He moulded himself against her body and poured everything he was feeling, all that he wanted, into a kiss that said what words would fail to do.

As soon as he touched her the world around them faded. The only thing that mattered at that moment was them.

To be continued...