Q&A:
Dududuhehe: I'm a bit unfamiliar with what your referring to. If you mean "will Zeus and Poseidon be at odds when the bolt gets stolen?", then the answer is that you'll have to wait and see!
I do not own Percy Jackson
Chapter Five: Hope
The monster lay dead at Percy's feet, turning to dust in the wind.
He twirled his sword, and sheathed it into his scabbard, as the campers gathered around him on half-blood hill all cheered. Luke clapped him on the back, the Apollo cabin were threatening to pick him up and put him on his shoulders, and Chiron was giving him a proud father's look. Then, he noticed it. Someone moving through the crowd at the base of the hill, the campers parting for them. And Percy knew who it was before she even arrived.
There she stood, a motherly woman with black locks of hair, tender green eyes, and a warm smile on her face. Percy drew close to her with careful, trembling steps. Tears began to build, and his heart began to wrench as words reached his lips that he'd waited so long to say.
"Mom?"
She threw her arms around him, as he wept into her shoulders, holding her for the first time. Her arms wrapped around him in an embrace he'd thought he'd never feel. Her voice whispered loving words he thought he'd never hear. Her lips placed a kiss on his forehead he thought he'd never receive, and he didn't even care whether she was embarrassing him in front of his friends with it.
Eventually, they separated, the warmth of her embrace still lingering on his skin. She smiled down at him, and took his locket into her hand, clenching it for a moment. A light flashed through her fingers, and when she opened it again, his locket was open, and a picture sat behind the glass. His mother, holding him as an infant, care written on her features.
"Was... was it enough?" Percy asked, pointing to the faint remains of dust on the ground. She smiled, and pointed above his head. Percy's tears redoubled as he looked up to see a crescent moon with an arrow running through it, glowing a dazzling white, shimmering above his head. The two embraced again, and his mother opened her mouth.
"I promise, Percy, that you'll never be alone again." she said, "I promise. I'll never let you go."
And with these words, a flash of light came from her hand, behind his back. He blinked, as she pulled away, a jug of golden oil in her hand. Percy's breath caught, as all the campers around him saw his mother's intentions, and began to bow their knees in ceremony, hands upon their hearts. He swallowed, trying as best he could to get his words out.
"You'll... you're gonna...?"
"You are worthy enough."
Percy grin lit up his face, tears running free, as he knelt down as well, joy filling his heart like he'd never felt before. His mother dipped her hand in the oil, as she looked down at him with a smile on her face. He closed his eyes, as he waited with halted breath for the touch of the oil on his head. He waited. And he waited. And he waited.
And then Percy's eyes opened, and met the cold, dark ceiling of his cabin.
He blinked, almost not understanding, before he sat up in his sleeping bag, and looked around the empty room. The beds still held dust. The huntress statues still felt as though their eyes were on him. Artemis' statue still loomed at the end of the room, looking over him to the sky above with a grim frown. His body was cold, his thin sleeping bag doing little work, the phantom warmth of his mother's hug only a memory.
Percy looked down into his lap, as tears touched his eyes, his hands trembling, his face scrunching up. But still over his shoulder, he remembered his mother's frowning statue. He put away the tears building up behind his eyes, and blinked away the strays sitting on his lashes, and tried as hard as he could to push away that hollow feeling that ever hung around his shoulders.
He unzipped the bag, and stood, back to his mother's statue, as he clothed himself. His legs trembled. His eyes were heavy for sleep. His mouth was dry. He shook his head, as he slipped on his jacket, and headed towards the door. He plucked his restrung bow from its place leaning on the wall, slung his quiver over his shoulder, looked at the silver spear, back to his mothers statue, and left it where it was. He opened the door, the cold night greeting him, the quiet of the sleeping camp drowned by the buzz of fireflies, and headed towards the practice pavilion.
Percy sat in the cold dark, Thalia's branches surrounding him, knees to his chest, eyes cast down, hands gripping his pants. The camp was asleep, but he was awake, sweat on his skin, his breath still catching up from the endless practice he'd endured. His eyes bore dark circles. His mind was tired. He wanted sleep, and at the same time, didn't want to return.
Above, the sky was overcast in black, shapeless clouds. Not a star in sight. No lights around him. No moon, despite his offerings, and sweat, and blood, and everything he'd given. It remained behind the clouds, no matter how long he waited to see if it would peek out. All that accompanied him was the cold, empty weight of his locket, always chained around his neck.
But something else would accompany him that night. Passed the shimmery borders of Camp Half Blood, something snatched his gaze in the distance. A warm, faithful dot of light breaking through the dark. Perhaps the returning campers. They were supposed to make it back this morning, but still hadn't. It drew closer and closer to the camp, moving through the forest, occasionally obscured by the foliage, but never disappearing. Only drawing closer to the entry arch.
The light passed through the camp borders. Percy started as a quick wave of warmth, like a heartbeat, pulsed from Thalia's tree behind him. Did it do that every time someone came in? Wait... the light wasn't going down the road. Was... was that light coming up the hill towards him? It was. Percy thought of hiding behind the tree, in case it was a patrol that caught him out of bed. But before he could move, the light crested the hill.
A lone girl bearing a torch passed him by. A camper, young, too young to have been outside of camp. She was looking over her shoulder at him, hood over her scarlet-red hair, and small smile on her face. The two sat watching each other for a moment, the girl an island of light in the dark, Percy surrounded by the shade of the tree. She turned to fully face him, and flicked her head towards the camp.
"What? Who-"
The girl turned back, and walked down the hill. Percy stood, giving a "hey, wait!", as he left Thalia's tree, her branches skimming across his skin as though they were reaching out to keep him. He followed the lone speck of light in the dark, until they reached the amphitheater. It was empty, save the girl, Percy, and a now flickering campfire. She was tending the flames with a small stick as he passed through the shade and into the light.
"You've been pushing yourself a long, long time, haven't you?" She said in a gentle voice. Her gaze left her campfire, and she looked up to him. "But you could find rest, if you'd like."
"...What?" Percy almost whispered.
"Your exercise." The girl said "I noticed you'd been going all night. You can rest here if you want." Percy blinked.
"Oh" He said. "Uh... yeah. I'll..." He took a seat on one of the stumps, drawing his knees back into his chest and clutching his hands around them. The girl's gaze returned to the fire. She hummed a little tune, as Percy looked from her to the embers.
"So... were you returning from an errand for the camp, or something?" He asked.
"Not so much returning from one." Percy waited for further details. None came.
"...Why'd you call me over here?"
"I thought you might be a bit warmer by the flames than in the dark by Thalia's tree."
"That's it?"
"That's it."
"Oh." Percy said, a silence settling over them.
"So?" She said, "What brings you out passed curfew?" Percy turned his head away from her.
"Why are you?" He replied
"My siblings are fighting again. I don't like being around them when they do that." Percy's eyes drifted down.
"I... can't relate. Is it hard? Listening to your siblings fight?"
"Not... not a great amount, no. I think it just reminds me of troubles with my father, from back a while ago."
"Parent issues too?"
"My brothers and sisters argued a lot with as well, on occasion. He wasn't a good father." She came here with her siblings then. It wasn't too uncommon at the camp to find full siblings.
"Oh. What made him a bad dad?" Percy's face scrunched up a bit. "Umm, sorry. That was a bit personal, wasn't it."
"No, it's okay. I think... well, its not that he didn't love us. He did. At least in some strange version of his own way. But not as a parent should. Not before everything else. Before himself. We had a falling-out with him."
"I'm sorry to hear that."
"Thank you." The girl let the silence settle back down again, seeming not to remember that she asked him why he was out here. Or perhaps simply electing not to push the issue. Crickets chirped around them, as a lump drew up to Percy's throat.
"I..." Percy swallowed. "I don't really know where to start. I guess... I'm afraid of going back to my cabin."
"Is cabin eight not to your liking?" She said. So this girl knew him. Percy wasn't surprised. The whole camp knew him since the capture the flag game.
"...I feel like I'm trespassing when I'm in there."
"You're the only person in camp who wouldn't be trespassing."
"Thanks" he said, forcing the word out. "It doesn't feel like it, though."
"Why?"
"I dunno..." More silence. "I guess I'm afraid of sleeping there, lately."
"Nightmares?" She asked. Percy shook his head.
"The opposite. I've been having this dream that..."
"What?" The little girl said, her head tilted.
"Its nothing. Just some..."
"Some...?"
"Well, this dream that I have with my mom... You know those old ceremonies? Where they pour the oil on people's heads?"
"Aleipho?"
"Huh?"
"That's what they were called. Aleipho. Oil anointment."
"Yeah. Those. Chiron was telling us about them. He said the ancient Greeks did it in order to show that someone or something was special. A kind of blessing"
"He's right. They used it to show that someone was set apart. Kings and priests, and the like."
"Right. Well... since I heard it, I've had this dream where... well... it sounds dumb... but, it's a reoccurring dream where I do some kind of trial or slay a monster, or do some brave thing. And then my mom finally accepts me as her son, and anoints me with oil. Then, she tells me how much she loves me, and... I dunno..." The girl's eyes softened at him.
"It's a beautiful thought." The girl said. "Why would something like that make you afraid?"
"I guess cause... well, I gotta wake up after it. And I don't wanna deal with feeling that every morning."
"I can understand that. The feeling of not having a loving parent." She said.
"You said your dad loved you?"
"It took me long time to realize it." She said. "For the longest time, I thought he didn't. I felt like I was the only one who wanted to help him. My sisters and brothers all hated him. Still do. But I kept chasing this idea that we could help him be the dad he never was, if we could just open up his love for us."
"Did you ever get him to?"
"No. I gave up on the idea, because I realized there was nothing to open up. He did love us. But the person he was got in the way of that, and so we couldn't ever be a real family... My other siblings don't seem to mind so much, but, family, they've always been something important to me since I was young. Perhaps that's why I was the only one who wanted to reconcile with him..."
"Does it... hurt you? That you don't have his love like you should?"
"Every day." She said. "It might all be for the best, though. I think my desire to see us all be at home again sometimes gets in the way of letting me see his true colors. And I recognize things are better with him gone. Still, there's a part of me that will always hold out hope for him."
"...I guess I feel the same. It's not the exact situation, my mom doesn't sound anything like your dad, but I guess I also hope that me and my mom could..."
"Be a mother and son?" She asked.
"Yeah." He said, voice scratchy. "I... I've been pushing myself a lot to get there lately. Even before I knew she was my mom, I've been pushing myself."
"Do you think you push yourself too hard?" Percy felt a thorn of fear catch in his heart, as a thought that had been plaguing him since before capture the flag came to the forefront of his mind.
"I don't think its hard enough. And that's what terri-... I..." Percy's eyes flicked back and forth across the grass as he searched for the words. He gulped. "Luke told me about Thalia. How she tried as hard as she could to get her dad's attention. How it took giving her life on Half-Blood hill for her dad to finally see her. And I'm trying, and trying, over and over to be strong enough for mom to claim me, or send a message, or just anything! But..."
"She hasn't" The girl said. Percy nodded.
"And I'm scared." He said, "I'm scared I'm gonna end up like Thalia."
"Do you think you'd push yourself to that point, just for your mother's attention?"
"No" He said "But... did Thalia think she would? Luke said I was just like her, and... what if I become that desperate? That's what makes me scared. That and... and the thought that... I mean, I'm giving almost everything for her right now, and its not enough, right? So what if I did it, and I gave my life to get her attention, and..." A lump rose in his throat.
"It's still not enough." The girl said.
Percy's squeezed his eyes shut as hard as he could. But it couldn't keep the tears from leaking through, like water pushing through cracks in a dam he was still trying so desperately to keep standing. And what finally broke the dam was the gentle hand of the little girl beside him falling on his back, as she wrapped him in a hug. All the stress and weariness and pain he'd been shoving away, that he'd been watching grow larger and larger on his shoulders as the days went by, finally came due. And Percy cried. He cried harder than he had in the few years he'd been in Camp Half Blood. He cried as hard as he had when he was a boy, back in Alaska.
"I d-don't know what I-I'm doing wrong" He said through his sobs. "I don't k-know what more she wants f-from me, I... I-"
"Shhhh" the girl whispered, as she rubbed circles in his back. "Shhhh". When he was done wetting her shoulder with his tears, Percy let out a stumbling breath, wiping his eyes dry with his shirt.
"I'm sorry." He said. "I didn't mean to-"
"You have nothing to apologize for." She said. "You're not the first to cry on my shoulder, and I don't think you'll be the last." Percy looked at the campfire with a small smile as a few stray tears still slid down his cheeks.
"Yeah. I... I guess I've just been holding that in for a bit too long. Thank you... um, I never got your name."
"You've briefly wondered it in your thoughts already, and thought it impossible, even if you haven't said as much out loud." She said.
"Are you...?"
"Yes."
"Lady Hestia." Percy sprung off the log, kneeling as he desperately wiped the stray tears from his cheeks, keeping his gaze down from her. His shoulders tensed up, as he felt a deep fear set over him, images playing in front of his mind of an angry goddess burning him to ashes for daring to show such weakness in front of her. He dipped his bow even lower, as her previous sentence registered. She could read his thoughts. He tried as hard as he could to magnify her in his mind, to hide any memories of his own weakness, to-
The same gentle hand, that had broke through the dam keeping back his tears, broke again through his thoughts and fears as it fell gently on his shoulder, and guided him back up to sit again.
"You need not bow to me Percy. Or avert your eyes, for that matter." Percy cautiously raised his them, expecting Hestia to have transformed into a stern, grim woman with wrath, or disgust, written on her face. Yet she remained the crimson-haired girl she had been during their conversation, looking up at him with the same gentle care she had before.
"You aren't... angry?"
"I have no reason to be."
"Oh. I thought you might think I'm... I was-"
"I don't, Percy. I don't think you're weak. Or shameful. Or unworthy, or whatever word you were going to finish that sentence with. And even if it did, it would draw no anger from me."
"I..." Percy closed his mouth, opened it again, and closed it again as words failed to find his tongue. "You... Sorry. I shouldn't have done that, I don't know why I..."
"Percy, you needn't apologize. There is nothing in me you need to appease." Percy's shoulders stayed tense, as he looked over to the fire, arms wrapping his waist.
"...Okay." He said. Another silence stretched between them.
"May I ask you a question?" Hestia said.
"Yeah."
"Why are you afraid of appearing weak before me? Or shameful, or unworthy?"
"Oh, I don't, you just... filled it in before I could say anything" Percy said.
"Alright." Hestia tended the fire with a stick, as further silence elapsed between them.
"I..."
"Yes?"
"I don't know. I don't know why I got scared of you thinking I was weak."
"You mind if I take a guess?"
"...Sure."
"You said Luke thought you were like Thalia. Do you know what her fatal flaw was?"
"Power?"
"That's what everyone said. But when I watched her from Olympus, I didn't quite agree with the conclusion. She did desire power, but not like my brother does, and trust me, I would know. She sought it only because she recognized my brother respected power. And so, she thought if she could get power, she could prove herself to Zeus. Then he would finally acknowledge her.
Hence her fatal actions on Half-Blood hill, and why so many thought the 'fatal' part of her flaw was the seeking of power. But the thing that ended up proving fatal for her wasn't a chase for power itself. If my brother had respected status, or courage, or any other thing, Thalia would have chased that instead. It was the root of why she chased power that proved deadly for her."
"Her dad?" Percy asked. Hestia nodded.
"The need to chase him. Seek his validation. Seek his approval. His love. Things that aren't wrong to seek, but that became wrong when she destroyed herself to obtain them. And I don't simply mean her last stand. She was destroying herself before she faced that horde of monsters. That desperate need that burned her up inside? That was her fatal flaw. Do you understand what I am saying?"
"You think my fatal flaw is chasing my mom's love?"
"If I had to make a guess, I would say so."
"I... I don't know if your right or not."
"Perhaps I am not. But you must admit that you place a great burden upon yourself for the sake of your mother's love."
"I don't really look at it like I'm placing it on my shoulders, though. It more like... the natural consequence of things. Like I'm just doing what's necessary."
"Why is it necessary? To do what you do?"
"It's... it's not like I want to. It's just... I need to. Because obviously something's wrong if she's not reaching out to me. So what else am I supposed to do? Just stay a failure? Stay not being good enough?"
"And what makes you believe that, because your mother does not reach out, the fault lies with you?"
"I... I'm..." Percy's brow furrowed, as Hestia patiently waited for a reply. "Well, what else would be the reason?" Percy said. Hestia turned to the fire, and Percy saw painted on her face that she wanted to say something, perhaps almost did, but bit her tongue just in time. Instead...
"Let's suppose that is the reason." She said, "Lets suppose the reason is that you aren't good enough, and so she doesn't reach out. I believe at the end of the day, the question that surrounds this whole issue still stands. Why do you need her to reach out? What makes you need it so deeply?"
"Well... is there something wrong with wanting my mom's love?"
"No. It would be well expected that you would be in pain because of you've never known your mother. That you would want your mother's love. But are we talking about 'wanting' here? Or 'needing'? Needing so bad that you destroy your body for her attention with training every day? That you stay up at night because your afraid of waking up without her love? That you break down into tears to a stranger you don't know, because of how heavy the burden is that you place on yourself chasing her?"
"Again, I don't think it's me placing the burden on myself, though."
"My apologies. 'The burden that is placed on you'. So, again, why do you need her love?"
"I... I don't know." Percy's eyes fell back to the fire as the silence returned for the final time in their conversation. Lightning bugs glowed in the dark around the light of their campfire. Crickets chirped somewhere in the treeline far away. Embers rolled up the smoke from the campfire, as the two sat in the quiet.
"I watched Thalia from Olympus almost as long as I've watched you. Luke is right. You two are very alike."
"You've watched me?"
"I have."
"...Why?" Hestia smiled into the fire, her eyes glazing over as though she were thinking of a fond memory.
"Luke sees where you and Thalia are alike. But he fails to see where you are different. I believe there's a spark of something in you, Percy. Though I cannot see what is to come in your future, I can see that inside you is the possibility to move beyond your fatal flaw. I have a hope for you. That one day, you'll be something more."
Percy didn't reply.
"You don't believe me?
"You're Olympus' hope keeper. Your supposed to look at people like that." Hestia gave a genuine, giggling laugh. "What's so funny?" Percy asked.
"My apologies, Percy. Yes, I am the hope keeper. But simply because that is my job doesn't make what I see in you any less true. If anything, I should be the authority on whether a person could have hope, no?"
"No hero has ever escaped their fatal flaw, today or in ancient times. It takes them all in the end."
"Heroes are prone to them, yes. But all the same, that doesn't change what draws my eye to you, Percy. It's not your strength, and yes, you have undoubtable strength even if you don't know it yet. It's not your courage or your drive. It's the special something in you that is so rare in heroes, of ancient times or today. It's that, whether you believe it or not, you have the ability, the potential, to grow passed your fatal flaw where so many others couldn't. And what lies beyond..."
Hestia closed her eyes, and a light smile took her face, like she was cherishing something Percy couldn't see. When she opened them again, Percy saw, resting under the firelight, tears gently touching her irises. Irises touched also by melancholy, longing, peace, joy, and perhaps so appropriately, hope.
"I can almost see it." She said, her voice captured by a whispering, gentle reverence. "When I look at you, I see it buried so deep within you. The man you can become. No... rather the man you already are, but just don't know yet. Someone greater than the flaws that beset you. Someone who carries their pain, but is yet free from it's binds. Someone who looks at himself, and despite any failures, or any lack of love from another, can walk in the knowledge of their worth. Yes... I see it..."
Hestia stood, and Percy watched as she reached her hand towards the fire. His urge to shout a warning was doused by the reminder that, despite looking like a child, she was a goddess.
"What are you doing?" He asked.
"Giving you a gift." Hestia said. She dipped in her hand. There was a flash, like a silent firecracker was set off in the flames, and when she pulled it out, she had retrieved a... light. What looked like some kind of radiant ember. It was shining gold in comparison to the yellow of the campfire. She held out her hand, and offered it to him. Percy hesitated.
"It's alright." She said "It's only warm, not hot".
"What is it?" Percy said.
"I'm... not sure. A message, I think. I was only told to give it to you"
"By who?" Percy reached out his hand for the ember, and Hestia dipped her hand, letting it float gently down into his palm. As soon as it touched him, a faint gold light spread over him, shining for the briefest moment, before dimming away. The ember was gone, leaving a warmth in him he couldn't quite describe. Like his bones had been cold, and he didn't even know it until they were warmed. He ran his hands up and down his chest.
"Okay... what kind of message was th... Lady Hestia?" He looked all around the pavilion. She was nowhere in sight, the campfire extinguished into smoking embers while he wasn't looking. He looked around for a bit at the dark around him, before being started by rapidly approaching footsteps, and the face of Lee Fletcher breaking through the dark.
"Percy!"
"Lee?"
"What are you doin... no, doesn't matter. Chiron, he called an emergency meeting." Percy stood, matching Lee's brisk pace as they set out for the Big House.
"What's going on?"
"Something happened at Olympus during the field trip." And Percy's mind returned to Hestia, as he remembered what she said. Her siblings had been fighting.
"Zeus' bolt" Lee said. "It's been stolen."
Hope you enjoyed the chapter. We'll pick up next chapter with "The Prophecy." As always, follows, favorites, and reviews are always welcome. Any questions will be answered as best I can at the top of the next chapter. Hope you all have a great day!