AUTHORS NOTE: PLEASE READ

So I'm discontinuing my other two books but this one won't be posted until I have written at least the first few chapters so as not to let you all down again because of writer's block.

Read at your own risk. This book deals with a lot of heavy topics that could be triggering for many readers. This includes Rape, Abuse, Trauma, Self Harm, Suicidal thoughts, grief, and many other things. There will also be heavy bashing of main characters, especially McGonagal, the Golden Trio and many other characters. It really pained me to have to bash Hermione in this book as she is my favourite character ever but I had to in order for the story to work lol.

Snape survived but, other than that, everything else in this story sticks to canon.

I wanted to write a book about how the war affected everybody not just the golden trio and how not everybody's trauma will be fully looked into. Like a fifth-year Ravenclaw, whose trauma is overlooked, is called dramatic and feels like she can't heal.

Thanks for reading!

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter

"They are thestrals. They've always carried the Hogwarts carriages, but I've never been able to see them until now. You can only see them once you've seen somebody die. It's so sad how the war has changed everything."

"I always thought that the carriages just carried themselves."

"Everybody did I always knew but never saw."

Skylar stopped dead in her tracks. She was overhearing the conversation of the 7th-year Gryffindors in front of her; she couldn't help it. She had been able to see the thestrals since her first year. She'd never mentioned them to her friends because they didn't seem significant. She thought that everybody could see them and had just brushed them off. She stared at the strange creatures. They had been mocking her since she was eleven; she hadn't even known until now.

This time last year, everything was different. They were scared, of course. Fucking Severus Snape was going to be their headmaster, of course, they were scared. Even with all of that, her friends still seemed to have made everything better. They made all the worries and everything disappear. Even if just for a short while. Now though, Skylar just felt empty and alone.

Skylar ended up in a carriage with a few Hufflepuffs from the year below her that were still finishing off the sweets that they'd bought on the train. They were laughing and telling jokes. A few of them smiled at her and all Skylar could do was smile back. If she just kept to herself, she would never be hurt again. She'd never lose everything. If she didn't have friends she couldn't lose them. Not ever again. Not for a third time.

The welcome feast was hard but Skylar managed not to break down. The sorting began but she had paid no notice. The castle had been rebuilt after the Battle of Hogwarts but it was the exact same design as before. The same memories. The same traumas. She looked over to where it had happened and then continued to look down at her arms covered by her Ravenclaw robe. She was the only fifth-year Ravenclaw to return. But she hadn't returned. Not really.

She looked over into that corner of the room and could still hear the cackling in her ears. Such a filthy little mudblood.

*Flashback*

"Such a filthy little mudblood," Bellatrix Lestrange whispered into her ear before cackling.

Skylar was led on the floor in the corner of the great hall. Bellatrix had just knocked her down after killing her remaining two best friends. Their bodies lay only a few meters from where Skylar was now. This was it. She was going to die.

Bellatrix pulled out a sharp, shiny, silver dagger. Skylar started to shake in fear. The older woman got down to her level and started to trace the dagger along her left arm. She was now laying on top of her. She was screaming now. The Ravenclaw girl felt an incredible pain in her left arm and started screaming but a silencing charm had been placed on her.

Skylar realizes now that nobody would have come to save her anyway. They were all way too caught up in their own battles.

*End of Flashback*

Skylar was brought back to reality by the food appearing on the table. She hadn't eaten nice food in ages. It all looked so good. She started to add food to her plate quickly, but as soon as she took a few bites of a potato she started to feel sick. She went to excuse herself but then realized that there was nobody paying attention to her so she just quietly left the great hall and headed to the girls' bathrooms.

As soon as she locked the door of her cubicle, she broke down. She couldn't do this. She couldn't do this for the next three years. Walk down these halls and sit in classrooms every day, where it happened. They just expected everything to be normal again. But it wouldn't be. Not now, not ever. She had lost the five people she had cared about the most in the entire world.

This was her childhood all over again. Except it wasn't. She had caused it this time. They could have stayed in Ravenclaw Tower and have been safe but no. They had to act like fucking Gryffindors and try to save the world and all that shit. They weren't fucking Harry Potter. It wouldn't have made a difference if they hadn't been there. But they still wanted to contribute in some way, even if it really did make no impact.

She felt the tears roll down her face and her hands were shaking as she rolled up the sleeve of her cloak. Skylar looked at her left arm. There was the word mudblood forever etched into her skin by the sadistic bitch called Bellatrix Lestrange. Around the word, were little scars. Scars she had created herself. She hadn't dealt with the pain of losing her best friends very well.

She gathered herself from the bathroom floor and unlocked the door to her cubicle. She washed her face to get rid of her puffy eyes and head up to Ravenclaw Tower. She hadn't eaten more than a few bites of a potato today but she didn't care. She just didn't care anymore. She headed to the common room after answering the eagle's riddle and headed to her dorm.

What was once a lively place with six beds was now a solemn and empty place with only one bed. Her bed. Skylar changed into her night clothes before getting into bed and crying herself to sleep. At least she had slept tonight. She probably wouldn't sleep again for the next few days but that was okay. It wasn't okay but sleep was the least of her worries right now. The only positive thing that came out of today was being free from her parents until Christmas.

Her parents didn't even care. She never expected them to. They never cared these days. But she always hoped that deep down, they really did care, but they never did. Freak. That was all she was to them. How could they ever care about a freak that was once their daughter? Skylar wanted her old parents back. But her old parents had died the day that she found out she was a witch. The day the beatings started. The day she lost her virginity. It was her 11th birthday.

Okay, so I'm halfway through the third chapter but just couldn't wait to post this. I really don't want to stop this story like all the others so I kinda know where I'm going with this. Hope you enjoyed this chapter.