Finally Wednesday arrived and it was time for my sacred biology hour with Bella. However, all did not go as planned.
Unable to focus for the last few lessons as Mr. Banner droned on about pistilis and anthers, I was blindsided by today's topic: human reproduction.
While Mike Newton sweated palpably, raising the room's humidity level almost high enough to cause rainfall within the lab, I was rapt in daydreams about Bella's soft cheek warming the cool crook of my neck. And then suddenly I was called to the front, abruptly handed some dusty nub of chalk and asked to label Tyler Crowley's woefully inaccurate rendering of the female reproductive system.
The room filled with snickers, Bella caught my eye and flushed. I was rendered so discombobulated that I hurriedly completed the task and rushed back to my seat, avoiding eye contact. Only upon returning to my seat and raising my eyes to the board did I notice, much to my chagrin, that I, Edward Cullen, I, with my two medical degrees, had writ large in my elegant hand on the clumsy diagram the word 'vagine'.
Banner took great joy in this, my first academic mistake in close to three decades, loudly pronouncing to the room 'Mr. Cullen, perhaps you should spend more time looking at your books and less time mooning over Ms. Swan!'
A cacophony of schadenfreude rang from the minds and mouths of the idiotic cohort. Worse, still, Banner left my label on the board for the rest of the period. Brandishing me with the white hot flames of chalky humiliation for a further 50 interminable minutes.
Bella spent the entire time the deep carmine of a cooked lobster, gnawing on her lip and occasionally shooting me a pitying glance before snickering. Then some horses ass in the back row whispered 'Edward Cullen's never seen, a woman's nipple or vagine!' and Bella- MY Bella- snorted! At my expense!
There are no words for my anguish, my torment. No hellish fury nor mortal grief could ever compare to my current distress. I am thrice cursed: I am Prometheus, cursed to be nightly eaten alive having brought the burning flame of Bella's blush to her fair cheek. I am Erysichthon, tormented by insatiable hungers of the flesh. And I am Icarus, doomed by own hubris, the wax of my wings fairly dripping off under the heat of Bella's heliacal gaze.
Oh cruel fortune! Shall there never be a moment's peace for this lusus naturae?
Somehow, God only knows how, I survived the 50 infernal minutes until lunch time. At the bell's first chime I beat a hasty retreat to the parking lot and the sanctuary of the Volvo. I listened to Debussy and hissed for a spell waiting for my fury to cool. It did not.
I spent the rest of the afternoon hissing in the parking lot.
After school my dreadful siblings piled into the car, thoughts loud with memories of the student body's cackles in the cafeteria at lunchtime. Alice had evidently foreseen this calamity but had chosen to say nothing of it! Treasonous wench!
Jasper, hit by the tsunami of my tremendous shame, was immediately catatonic and curled into the fetal position on the back seat. He has yet to recover. As have I.
Emmett and Rosalie stayed suspiciously quiet and I have no doubt they are plotting some awful ignominy, to further twist the knife of today's debacle. Little do they know, it is impossible for me to be further shamed, such is my utter defeat, nor shall I be here to suffer their torments much longer.
I have secured passage to Volterra and depart at first light.
A/N: Please leave a review! What did Bella make of this whole debacle? What do you think she thinks of Edward?