Rosalie! I curse the day that vapid fish wife was born. What heinous crime must humanity have committed to be plagued with her damnable presence for all eternity ?
One, perfectly reasonable request to immediately cease and desist watching Mama Mia and relinquish the remote control indefinitely was met with predictable resistance. And disastrous consequences.
Of course, I had expected that vacuous termagant to put up a fight, so I enacted my plan: snatching the remote, changing the channel, removing the batteries and flinging them through the nearest window, far, far into the woods. My plan was foolproof and did indeed ensure I got my way.
Although I have been left in no uncertainty that it was not worth it.
Carlisle's betrayal has left me in shocked umbrage. How could he possibly support this cruelty? A few hundred years soaking in venom has finally pickled his brain. The good doctor has thoroughly lost his mind. Perhaps I should contact the medical licensing board with these concerns. It shall hurt him so, but he is clearly unable to make sound decisions and therefore unfit to practice any longer.
Carlisle not only told me that he was sorely disappointed in my immature behaviour, but has taken away my driving privileges! He has forced me to relinquish the Volvo's keys for a day to that haughty harridan Rosalie!
This shall not stand!
She doesn't even need my car! This is purely about affording her the opportunity to abuse her power over me!
Worst of all Rosalie eagerly snatched the keys and then slunk off to the garage with Emmett, thinking the most vexing thoughts about defiling the Volvo's pristine upholstery with their filthy fluids and interminable coupling.
Naturally I immediately started weeping. My agonised, tearless sobs have yet to abate.
The upholstery! Is nothing sacred in this ghastly world?
A/N: Please leave a review! How can Edward get his revenge?