Chapter 1: A second chance

The world of Pokemon was a lonely place she found in her new life.
Left alone in a cot, with pudgy little arms and hands incapable of holding a pencil, she really hated feeling so helpless as a baby.
Why was she a baby? Well she was just born, or reborn to be precise.
After being left alone for an indefinite amount of time, wallowing in the darkness to a point that she thought that her grandma was right in that she was going to go to hell, and that she was just going to be left insane in the darkness for eternity, she finally saw the light only to find out that no, she wasn't going to heaven finally, but instead a different kind of hell. Life.

So, here she was, a few days after birth, having slowly come to terms with her new arrangement, spending her time helpless on her back, or suckling her mothers teat, or having her diaper changed…
Yeah, controlling the bladder of her body wasn't particularly the easiest thing to do, and was definitely something she was going to have to relearn and drill her body into much as she loath to admit it.

She couldn't even see properly yet. Whilst she was getting her full vision back over the outside world seemed like an enigma through her infantile eyes. It was frustrating, struggling to see the barest glimpse of the outside world. Were it not for her main caregiver, a Gardevoir, she wouldn't have recognized that she had entered the world of Pokémon for God's sake.

However, the worst part of being a baby was the constant cooing. Being treated like she couldn't stand up for herself was infuriating and humiliating all at the same time. In this new world, she didn't understand the language, but she did learn one thing—her name was "Sabrina."
So overall, a good haul. Though in the end she still felt like she was going insane from how loud her surroundings were.

The constant noise around her felt as if she was surrounded by perpetual parties. There was always something saying SOMETHING around her to a point it was rage inducing. It drove her to the brink of madness. "LET ME SLEEP," she wanted to shout.

'Or at least talk to her… don't leave her alone here with her thoughts.'

Being left alone staring at a white ceiling, unable to fall asleep was miserable. It reminded her of home, a home she don't think she could return to If she was where she thinks she was. At the very least she didn't think she was still alive anymore, and that this isnt some weird dream, she had been hit by a bus after all, not the most indicative of the survival of her body.

Death, in a way, wasn't unpleasant. It was at the very least short and sharp for Sabrina. Not Instant, but at the time besides the short pain of being flung by a speeding truck and having her head bash against the road, it felt like she was just going to sleep on a cold winter night, chilly and cold, but comforted through a warm blanket covering her. There was not much pain, no real suffering, just the quiet acceptance of a (from her perspective) gentle yet abrupt ending.

Even the darkness of her mother's womb wasn't that unpleasant. She slept and slept and was conscious for very very short amounts of time. Floating around in what felt like water wasn't that bad, and until being born she thought that was how her eternity was going to go, slowly losing her time awake until she just didn't wake up anymore. A slow fade into nothingness. A long coma that didn't give her a chance to grieve, or regret, or celebrate or tear up or or…

She misses her mum. She misses her dad. She misses her older brothers. She misses her papa and her nana, and her friends who would make her brighten up on sad days. She regrets not being able to say goodbye. She regrets so so much that she couldn't take back anymore. She's sorry the last thing she said to her brothers was "Fuck off" and that she didn't give her mum a hug the night before she got hit by a fucking bus. So sorry that she didn't get to go to more sporting events with her dad or live to see her nieces and nephews grow up. Sorry that she never got to go to university and the last thing she did of importance was complete year 12. Annoyed that her life was over just as it got started and she never got her first kiss, or lost her virginity or went on a date or went drinking of skipped a class at a school.
Frustrated that she was robbed of her life from one fuck face who couldn't keep his eyes on the road and decided that his best mate texting him was more important that the survival of a 17 year old girl.

But worst of all, she felt empty. Sabrina felt like everything she did before, and everything she might do now is pointless.
What's the real point of potty training your body when you're not sure you even want to be bothered living anymore?
Whose joy was she going to share with at this point?

However that was unfair. Unfair to her new mum who birthed her after 9 long months. Unfair to her new father who had such high hopes in his voice. Unfair to the pokemon taking care of her, whose love for her she could literally feel deep in her bones, an infectious, unfaltering love. All their love for her unconditional as if she had earnt it long ago. The utter devotion to her wellbeing by virtue of her existence evident in their all-encapsulating aura.

This dissonance between being utterly alone, lethargic, and full of regret and being full of love and care and warmth of parents loving their child with all of their being was driving her to the brink.
Being left with her thoughts was driving her mad, and there was nothing she could do but cry. So she cried as if there were no end in sight, screaming and sobbing for days.

She cried
She cried like she never cried before
She wallowed and screamed and teared up.
She cried until she couldn't cry anymore. And then she cried more. She cried until exhaustion claimed her and she slept. In the end, the tears healed her, and with each passing week, she slowly but surely began to move forward.

She would never forget her past, but she had to accept that this was her new beginning. She had to grow, to adapt, to make the most of her second chance at life. And as her journey continued, she would carry the weight of her past with her, a reminder of what had been lost and the opportunities that still lay ahead. She moved on. Sabrina had to, for what else was she to do?