Much to Alice's chagrin, Jasper has been showing me something on the information superhighway called Reddit. He said I shouldn't believe everything I read there and should steer away from the NSFW pages (Not So Fast Wiseguy, I think?).

There is a lot of information. I like it. It will take me several days to read it all.

Alice said she had seen that I had a strong possibility of getting into hot water with Internet addiction and cyber bullies, but I think that's piffle. She just doesn't like me being on the cutting edge as she likes to think that is her sole territory. Well, move aside Alice! Edward is getting a revamp (haha)!

I have realised I speak in a somewhat archaic way compared to most fellows posting on the World Wide Web. I need to update my manner of prose and speech, especially when talking to those at school (Bella). I don't want to raise suspicions.

There are some wonderful language learning resources, some nice pages of cats and a lot of something called circlejerk pages. I'm not so sure about those.

I also found some jokes. I plan to tell Bella a joke when I have the opportunity. I should like dearly to make her laugh.

There are a lot of pictures people call memes that I do not understand. Who is taking these photographs and why are they so popular?

I made a post on r/amitheasshole about this summer and there was an overwhelming response. People insisted that I was the asshole, so my suspicions that I am have been laid to rest once and for all. I posted an update about working through Alice's action plan (stupid pink list) and was told that I should definitely do all of those things in most of the responses. I suppose I knew that already.

I found r/vampires. I don't think Aro knows about that one though, so I refrained from posting there. People seem very excited about us, but I don't think there were any other real vampires online from what I read.

On r/debussy I had a delightful conversation with a couple of other fans, which was most pleasing. I rarely get to connect with other people who appreciate his music as much as I do.

I went in r/deadbedrooms hoping to find other lonely vampires, but it wasn't about that at all.

I also don't know why pasta is creepy, it's wriggly though and I do not like wriggly things, so perhaps that's why. Jasper said we must not tell Emmett about that and that it's not real.

I searched for r/spanishinfluenza but did it find a community, sadly I think most sufferers died and even those who survived are not alive today. Instead I was directed to a page called r/explainlikeimfive where people can ask questions about things they know absolutely nothing about. This could prove most useful.

Jasper assured me that it was anonymous and told me not to use my real name so I used Cedward Mullen instead (C for Cullen, M for Masen) to conceal my identity. Nobody would ever guess! Then I navigated to r/nostupidquestions and asked a question about kissing! I cannot wait to see what people teach me about it! I am most curious.

My computer was very hot by the end of the night and a strange burnt dusty smell was coming from the vents. I think I may need to replace it. I wonder if they still make the same model. It will be very challenging to adjust to a new system as I have only just mastered this one. Bella did say I needed a new computer though. I shall ask Jasper, he seems to be very au fait with all of this business.

The night passed very quickly as I was so absorbed. What a wonderful distraction! Before I knew it, it was almost time for school and English class with Bella! Off to school I go!

I am in a most excellent mood!

A/N: Please leave a review! Finally Edward is having a good day. What kind of trouble do you see him getting himself into online?

Thanks so much to my wonderful beta wh1teow1, please show some love and read Moirai, a reimagining of Twilight for the new decade!