"Try it on for me."
You looked at me as if I were stupid. "I'm not the same size as Ye Zeyu," you protested, but I just smiled because I knew you were the stupid one.
"It's for you."
You looked at me as if I was crazy. I knew you didn't believe me, so I insisted you change into the green robes I bought for you. I knew that must have been the first time someone bought for you brand new robes for you to wear, so I wanted to show you the warmth that someone who cared for you could bring.
And you said, "Thank you."
"Buy my firecrackers! Buy my firecrackers please!"
You would have passed that poor old woman by, but I held onto your sleeve. "Chuntao already bought some," you said in protest. I smiled again.
"There's no harm in buying some more."
You watched me buy all of the poor woman's firecrackers, disdain clearly etched on your face. "Even if you bought everything from that woman today," you said, "she'd still be out in the cold to sell some more tomorrow." With a scoff, you added, "Your small bag of money can't do much for her."
I knew you were right. But with that one small act of kindness on a poor unfortunate soul, I wanted to show you how one act of goodness can change not only the receiver's life, but also your own.
And you said, "At least she gets to go home earlier this New Year's Eve."
That New Year's Eve, you came in and celebrated with the family. Every now and then, I saw your eyes linger at the happy scenes before you, sometimes settling towards me. I saw your loneliness fade away whenever you look at us, and saw you feel safe and warm. I smiled at you, happy that you could feel through us how having a family, being a part of a family could make you feel.
Later, I pulled you to the courtyard to help me set off the firecrackers I bought from that woman, and when those didn't go off as planned, I set off a Sketch charm to illuminate the night sky with the bright fireworks that we should have enjoyed. We threw snowballs at each other and played to our hearts' content all night long. It was the first time I saw you genuinely enjoy yourself, and smile that rare, carefree smile that I have come to love.
And you asked me, "Are you always this happy during the New Year?"
You, who never knew what happiness was, had smiled at me. You, who had never known what it was to have a light heart, to be without the dark clouds of despair and persecution hovering over your head, and to feel free from judgement and pain, laughed and played with me.
And I, who thought I knew, foolishly promised you that we will spend all our New Years like this.
I, who thought I could hold you close to me and keep you from the darkness of your fate, foolishly promised to protect you.
I, who thought I was the one showing you the light, succumbed to the darkness of existence without you.
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Li Susu stared down from the cliff, towards the Barren Abyss, where the Demon Realm lay, with a lot of colliding and conflicting feelings in her heart.
A lifetime ago, she had stared down at the Barren Abyss at the same spot, fearful at the idea of encountering the demons trapped inside for 10,000 years, and yet determined to enter, to seek the only living god who could guide her in her mission. Along the way, she had saved Ye Fuya, Jiang Lan'an's daughter, from demons that wanted to eat her, and later encountered the God of Time, Ji Ze, who had strangely recognized her as if she were a returning friend. He was the one who told her about how to destroy the evil bone, through the cryptic words "a dream, a tear, and a string".
Three words that led her to her greatest joy, and her unending sorrow.
Then, centuries later, she had entered the Abyss for the second time, to find Cang Jiumin and stop the demons from reviving the Devil God inside him. Along the way, she had encountered her biological father, Di Mian, who had been possessed by the evil bone, and with it, had opened the All-In-Distress Way. She had wielded her sword against him to avenge her father, Qu Xuanzi, and her mother, Chu Huang, but he had easily overpowered her and would have killed her if not for Cang Jiumin. But…
She watched him take out the Soul-slaying Nails she pierced into his heart and crush it in front of her eyes.
The last time she came to the Abyss was to confront Cang Jiumin, who had become the Devil God. She didn't believe, couldn't believe, that the pure junior disciple who had promised her not to become the Devil God had become the very thing he had promised not to be. But he lied to her and made her cut all her emotional ties with him, and right in front of her very eyes threatened to destroy everyone she had hoped to protect with her life.
He lied to her, even at the very end.
Li Susu wiped away the tear that silently fell from her face, and took a deep breath. She was going back to the place where she lost him, and wait for him there. She leapt towards the Abyss.
As she flew down, Li Susu felt strange, as if there was something more to the desolation and emptiness of the place, though the feeling was not as sinister as her previous trips have been. She landed on a protruding cliff ledge, and summoned her goddess powers to clear out the vaguely strange aura in front of her.
She had only intended to use a small portion of her power to clear out her path, but that small amount revealed a sliver of clarity. Gathering her goddess powers, she dispelled the concealment barrier on the abyss, and saw another world unfurl before her.
Ye Qingyu said that the world believed most demons were destroyed together with the All-in-Distress Way and the Demon God, as they seemed to have all vanished at the same time. In fact, Ye Qingyu thought Pian Ran was the only demon left, since he had never encountered any demons during his 100-year solitary journey.
But the empty canyon that Li Susu thought she had been in became a different place, opening up to a wider landscape, with a forest below the cliff she was standing from, and at a distance, the rooftops of houses could be seen. Lights from lanterns lit up bustling streets, which was filled with…
A sharp pointed object pricked Li Susu's back as she sensed the presence of a few people behind her.
"Who are you, trespassing into the Demon Realm?" a deep, growling voice said behind her.
"I am Li Susu, daughter of the phoenix goddess, and wife of the Devil God, Tantai Jin," Li Susu declared, slowly turning around to face the astonished demon soldiers behind her.
"I-impossible!" the demon who held the spear against her sputtered.
"Not impossible," said a familiar voice behind the demon soldiers said. Li Susu watched the soldiers part to make a path for a woman clad in scarlet robes.
It was Li Susu's turn to be astonished. "Si Ying?" she blurted out, staring at the demon she thought had died during the war.
"Goddess Yuling," the drought demon acknowledged with a small ironic curl of her lips. "We demons could barely compete with your goddess powers, so we dare not fight against you." The words were courteous enough, but the tone dripped heavily with sarcasm, especially as Si Ying slightly bowed towards her mockingly. "However, you are not wanted here. Go back to the immortal sects and leave the Demon Realm alone."
Li Susu stared back at Si Ying. "I won't go back," she said firmly. "I will stay here in the Demon Realm, whether you like it or not."
The smile on Si Ying's face vanished. "You are not wanted here," she repeated, coldly and contemptuously this time. "We don't want any god disrupting the lives of the demons living here peacefully."
"I will stay," Li Susu repeated, standing firmly in front of the equally adamant drought demon. "I was married to the Devil God, and so have all the right to stay in the Demon Realm."
Si Ying laughed derisively. "What marriage?" she asked angrily. "All the demons here know the story, that the Devil God met his demise at the hand of the woman he had willingly married. No demon here," waving her hands towards all the demon soldiers who had been eyeing Li Susu with the same anger as her, "would willingly bow to the queen who had taken our lord's life."
"What if I tell you I carry your lord's child within me?" Li Susu challenged.
At her words, the demons were all dumbstruck. After a beat of silence, Si Ying said, "You lie."
"I do not," Li Susu replied firmly.
"There is one way to find out," Si Ying decided. "Follow me."
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Si Ying brought Li Susu to the gates of the Demon Palace.
"The gates to the palace have remained shut ever since the death of the Demon God," Si Ying said, for a moment looking wistfully at the closed doors. "Only the blood of the Demon God could cause it to open, and if you speak truthfully, the doors will open for you." Then she scoffed. "But if you are lying, as I believe you are, then goddess or not, we will kill you."
Li Susu turned away from Si Ying and looked up at the closed doors. She had seen this moment in Tantai Jin's memories.
Still reeling from Nian Baiyu's drug, Cang Jiumin stared up at the closed doors of the Demon Palace.
"Don't you find this familiar?" Si Ying taunted him.
"I've never been here before. Why should it be familiar?" Cang Jiumin replied coldly.
Jing Mie laughed beside him. "What are you hesitating for?" he sneered. "You're afraid. You're afraid that everything those immortals ever said about you are true."
Li Susu walked up the steps leading towards the doors. The intricate details on the doors spoke of the might and majesty of the Devil God.
Cang Jiumin gathered his power in his hand. I don't know if this is going to work, he thought, but if I really am the devil fetus, then…
Li Susu took a deep breath. She sent her thoughts towards the unborn child growing in her. Child, she thought, gathering her power in her hand, like Cang Jiumin did, help me.
Li Susu pressed her glowing hand on the closed gates.
There was no response.
Si Ying barked a derisive laugh. "You are such a liar, Li—"
Before Si Ying could complete her statement, a loud sound echoed inside the Demon Palace, and before the astonished eyes of all present, the doors to the Demon Palace slowly began to open.
Li Susu turned to Si Ying. "Is this proof enough?"
In response, Si Ying knelt in front of Li Susu. "My lady," she whispered in reverence.
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