While Carlisle was at work Esme came to the rest of us pleading that we find a way to stop Carlisle with his dreadful memoirs. She said she loves him dearly, but is being driven to distraction with his constant dictation and typing duties.
Rosalie advised her to "tell Carlisle you're not his fucking secretary" Esme agreed with the sentiment, if not the language. Emmett said when he wants to get out of something he does a really bad job so nobody will ask him again, this earned him a stern look from Esme, who is the one who most often has to pick up after Emmett when he makes sloppy work of his chores.
Alice and Jasper said she should tell Carlisle she is too busy with the library and to fill up her schedule until Carlisle did the writing himself. I suggested buying him a journal for Christmas so that he would be more inclined to take to writing himself as well, but Esme said there is no way she would last until Christmas without resorting to physical violence.
Esme was exasperated and told us "If I have to sit through another three hour retelling of a stroll through the sewers of sixteenth century Paris, I shall go mad! That blasted man thinks I have nothing better to do with my time than to suffer through hours after hour of his drivel!"
When she left to go and clear her head we all felt quite guilty. Although we all still agreed it was better than making sock puppets or bible study with the family.
A/N: Please leave a review! Thanks so much to my wonderful beta wh1teow1, please show some love and read Moirai, a reimagining of Twilight for the new decade! What do you think Esme will do when she finds out they sacrificed her so they didn't have to attend a family activity day?