Jasper has finally managed to get Emmett to decipher the morse code message from the crop circle. I could practically hear the cogs of his brain creaking under the strain but we got there in the end.

Emmett excitedly scribbled the dashes and dots on his now ever-present yellow legal pad and set to work, turning pale when he revealed his own name. He continued to work, uncovering the date and time: January 1st, midnight.

He immediately howled for Rosalie to show her and we watched him make a garbled attempt to explain what Morse code was and the message contents. The one part he had managed to piece together correctly was that the aliens were coming to abduct him.

Rosalie's thoughts were highly suspicious and she looked at Jasper, who gave her a wink while Emmett was fiddling with his Morse code chart. She smirked and I could hear in her mind that she had caught on to the prank and wanted to see how it played out. She was also internally groaning at how insufferable Emmett was going to be until new year and hoped this was going to be worth it.

Emmett has been engrossed in one of his DVDs, muttering and nodding, whilst furiously making notes about Power Rangers for the last three hours. His current plan for a defence strategy hinges on something called a megazord and he has asked Jasper about their deployment in past military situations.

Jasper is going to have quite a job explaining to Emmett the tangled knot of wrong turns his logic has taken to lead him to this conclusion. Rather him than me…

I found Emmett's notes in the trash

There are no words...

[childish handwriting on a crumpled, torn piece of yellow legal paper]

Mr Berty possible lizerd?

Jesika stanly definate dementor!

Edward mite be a alien:

looks a bit gray

likes funy music

boring

name sounds like EDWEIRD

BUG EYES

wierd

ikes Bela even tho she smels wierd

very good chance he is a alien

definatley

volvo is UFO? Meybe thats why hes so touchy about it, OR his WIFE, he wants to bone his VoLevo

Bela smels wierd WHY? probiblby lizerd

pirimids are triangles and so is the Bermuder triangle= coinsidance? NO!

BigFOOT where is his OTHER FOOT? shud be bigFEET, rite?

Missing socks mistery ALL my left socks are missing. Pribibily gohst or Jasper!

A/N: Please leave a review! Thanks so much to my wonderful beta wh1teow1, please show some love and read Moirai, a reimagining of Twilight for the new decade! How do you think Emmett will try to fight off the aliens?