AN: Well, it continues.

"I approve." Itachi nodded at the pink haired girl who had his brother wrapped up in her arms, both on top of her strange winged summon.

"AH! Thanks!" Sakura smiled over Sasuke's shoulder. "If you want, I'll adopt you too! Checkers already adores him too! She just loves cuddling with Sasuke when she can!"

"…I still have no idea what's going on." Sasuke still seemed confused. "But I'm alright with it." His hand patted the fur/feathers on Checker's side.

She preened and chirped at the praise.

In the doorway, Shisui still struggled to catch his breath after the mad dash across the Land of Fire he had been part of.

"Can…I get a bottle of water or something?" He felt like he was moments away from outright collapsing. He leaned against the doorway more than he would like, wiped at the sweat pouring down his face. "I feel like my nickname is a total lie now. I wasn't even close to keeping up with you…Is my life a lie?"

"When it comes to helping Sasuke, I'm always going to be faster than you." Itachi could laugh at the exhausted state of his friend. With the situation handled, he could relax enough to smile. He turned back to Sakura. "If our parents give you any trouble about this, inform me. There are some rather obscure clan laws that will stop them from interfering with you anymore."

"I didn't really worry about that! And I'm still not going to bother with them! He was sad so I'm his Mom now!" Sakura tightened her hold on Sasuke, her smile still there but there was a darkness in her green eyes. "If they try to hurt him, I'm going to hurt them right back."

"Sakura! Y-You can't just say stuff like that!" Sasuke tried to turn in her hold but failed, her hold on him unrelenting. He turned to Itachi instead. "Big Bro! Do something! She could get really hurt! She could get in a lot of trouble too!"

"I approve." Itachi only nodded, merely echoed his previous words. "Now, Shisui and I were on a mission when we heard about…all of this. We'll have to get back to it."

"…Water..." Shisui struggled to stay on his feet. "Water would be nice…"

"We'll get you some water on the way back." Itachi grabbed him by the back of his Flak Jacket, used his free hand to wave at the two. "I'll see you both when I get back."

"Bye!" Sakura used one hand to wave at Itachi's back, the other stayed wrapped around Sasuke. "Have fun!"

In her hold, Sasuke could only sigh even if there was a smile on his face, one that simply wouldn't leave.

'I guess this is just my life now.' He couldn't help the laugh that sprang out from him.

Sakura smiled at the sound.

"I'm gonna be the best Mom ever!" She hopped down off of Checkers, left Sasuke where he was as she headed off. "We're gonna take a ton of pictures and we've already got a pet with Checkers and Checkers already loves you so there's nothing to worry about there! And you don't have allergies! At least I think you don't! We should check! Let me know if you have any! Oh! We can have family dinners now! And I can terrify your girlfriend if you bring her over! I have my speech all worked out!" She spun on her heels, an even wider smile than normal on her face. "Do you think I should have Checkers stare at them menacingly or have her be adorable? Me and Checkers just can't decide on her role!"

Checkers let out a squawk, her contribution to the conversation only understood by Sakura.

"We've talked about the fireworks! We have to save those for the second date when we're spying on them!"

Another squawk.

"I told you: We can use that for Naruto! He'll totally be fine with it too! We just have to find all that gelatin first! It won't work without it."

A more subdued squawk followed.

"I know! It's going to be so much fun!"

Checkers started to laugh. Or it was mad cackling. Sasuke wasn't sure from his spot on her back.

Sakura was just going all in on her own evil laugh.

At that exact moment, Naruto and Sai made their appearance. Kakashi, having been approaching the open window and therefore hearing her evil laughter, had decided to call it a day early. Whatever was going on in Sakura's place, he didn't want to be bothered by it.

"Hey Sakura!" Naruto held up a wrapped box. "I heard you're Sasuke's Mom now!" He held it out towards his pink haired teammate. "I got you this thing!"

"Ah! That's so sweet of you!" Sakura was quick to grab the box, eagerly tore it open.

Naruto, having absolutely no idea what was going on, went with his best guess for a gift. A few minor alterations later and he had his present ready.

"AH! '#1 New Hostage Mom'! You know me so well!" Sakura quickly jumped over to wrap Naruto up in a hug, careful of the new mug in her hands. "I want to adopt you too!" She looked to Sai. "Can I? Sasuke could have a brother and it'll be super fun to be a team and a family!"

"Ah…I don't think we can do that." Sai's smile was rather strained. For a number of reasons. "It's…rather problematic what you're doing already. Fugaku and Mikoto have already started petitioning to the Hokage to have you…well, they want you UNDER the prison. If that makes any sense."

"No prison can hold me!" Sakura threw her head back and laughed. "I'm nonprisonable!"

Sasuke, Naruto, Sai, and even Checkers looked at her.

'Is that even a word?'

"Of course it is!" Sakura was seemingly able to read all of their thoughts, her smile growing as she skipped away. "Now! I'm going out to get some things for my boys! Checkers, make sure nothing happens to my precious children!" She earned a squawk from her mount in response, feathers bristling and one claw raised to swipe through the air. "That's a great idea sweetie! Make sure to claw out their eyes! That's their weak spot!"

Another squawk came in answer.

"Oh! Before I forget!" Sakura hopped on top of Checkers a moment later, wrapped Sasuke up in a near bone crushing embrace. "See you soon son!"

She jumped off and left through the door with a smile.

Sai and Naruto stared at the door long after it had closed behind her, both only able to share a look.

"Is she…"

Sai laid a hand on Naruto's shoulder, a look of sympathy crossing his face.

"I think you should prepare for the inevitable Naruto." Sai felt a tear building up in the corner of his eye. "Dread it, run from it, Sakura will be your mom too."

"Why are you crying?"

"Its…not as bad as you think."

"Why are you so okay with this!?"

AN: I am still attempting to write crack. Unsuccessfully.