This year is going to be my best ever! Last night was simply magical and awfully good fun!

The rain held off, so Jasper, Alice, Rose and Emmett went shopping during the day to buy an insanely large quantity of fireworks, as Emmett was convinced that these would prevent the UFO from being able to land and would offer him protection from abduction. I explained Bella would be joining us and ignored Rosalie's griping, so volunteered to build a bonfire and set up speakers to have music outside.

While they were out Bella and I set to work, fixing gauzy fabric at a 45° angle from Jasper`s projector and setting up the smoke machine. We only had one shot to get things right so we were quite nervous, but in the end it went off without a hitch!

Once we had built the bonfire I drove Bella to the market and we got her some snacks and drinks for the evening, and picked up a pizza for her as well, so she didn't get too hungry.

The others joined us back at the house with several hours still to go before midnight, I could hear that both Alice and Rose had been filled in on the finer details of this evening's plan while Emmett was gawking over a firework called The Annihilator, which he immediately purchased. By the time he was home he was on high alert, rambling about crop circles and abductions, the others had been winding him up in the car and he was close to insufferable before it was even 8pm. He insisted on showing Bella an episode of ancient aliens and his crumpled notes, he apologised that 'after today I might be on another planet, so I probably won't be able to meet you again'.

We lit the bonfire at 10 and set up chairs around it. My siblings and I all watched curiously as Bella put some white fluffy looking things on a stick, from the ground, that had been outside! She melted the white things in the fire before eating them, for a reason I do not understand. She seemed quite adamant that this was a perfectly normal thing to do, I did not want to spoil her fun, so did not correct her. I spotted on the packet that they were called marshmallows and was reminded of a joke I had read in preparation for this evening: 'What are aliens' favourite sweets? Martian-mallows.' Bella groaned and sort of shoved me a bit when I told her it, but she smiled her brilliant smile as well. Yes!

We listened to Emmett telling rude jokes and then Jasper telling rude stories about Emmett. I watched the firelight dancing over Bella's flushed cheeks, the clouds of her breath float up and disappear in the darkness and her eyes twinkle as she laughed. I felt quite unusually content, she looked so alive, so perfect.

When Rosalie, Emmett, Alice and Jasper coupled off and slow danced an awkward air of tension arose. Although I very much wanted to, I could not muster the nerve to ask Bella to dance and felt anxious it might make her uncomfortable. I decided I should fetch Bella another drink from inside.

She followed me into the kitchen and stood by the counter as I took the soda from the fridge and set a fresh glass beside her. She said she was having fun and I said "I'm so glad, you have seemed really sad lately and I don't know what's been bothering you or how to make it better." She looked back out of the window towards the bonfire thoughtfully and said "I've just been thinking about the future a lot. You know?"

I asked her "How so?" as I set down the soda bottle and she turned to face me. She was standing so close that I could feel the warmth of her breath across my neck as she looked up at me and said "Things just keep changing faster and faster, and I can't help but wonder what's next." Her breath left goosebumps trailing across my skin, and the wet rush of her heartbeat filled my ears, drowning out all other sounds. The smell of clean laundry and strawberries mingled with the intoxicating ambrosia of her natural scent was more tempting than ever before. I wanted to taste her soft lips, to feel her move against me, to share a breath with her. I was totally under her spell, lost in her eyes, as she looked up and asked softly "What do you think is next Edward?"

Her heartbeat picked up as I scrambled to work out what to do. I have never wanted to kiss her more, never wanted to bare my soul to her more, be seen and known by her completely, than I did in that moment. I was still at sea in indecision when she slid her warm left hand around my neck, the pulse of her wrist thrumming under my ear against the spot where mine should be, and curled her fingers softly into the hair at the nape of my neck. She drew me to her, pulling me down a little and closed her eyes, resting her forehead against mine and sighed.

Her skin was impossibly soft and so thoroughly alive. Her delicate nose brushed against mine, her shaky breath warmed my face, her pulse raced as I could feel the heat of a deep blush radiate against me as it spread across her cheeks. Her pull was inexorable. I swallowed the venom pooling in my mouth and bit my lip, I was trembling. We both were. Somehow my hands found her waist, then her back and I pulled her closer in our embrace.

I couldn't do it though. I wanted to more than anything I have ever wanted in my life, but I couldn't kiss her. Not like that. Not without her knowing what I am, not with all the half truths and omissions hanging over us, mocking me with the inevitable revulsion she would feel knowing that I hunger for her blood as well as her love, that I am older than her father and yet eternally adolescent, that she will outgrow me in the blink of an eye, that I am damned, and worst of all, that I have murdered many, many times.

She must have sensed my hesitancy, as she sighed softly and moved her face to my neck. She held me, her broken wrist awkwardly resting at the base of my spine, her hair against my cheek and the warm pull of her lungs making her chest rise and fall against mine for some seconds.

I managed to stutter out "Bella, I…" and she drew back to look at me. She was flushed, her lips slightly parted and I could see my eyes, pitch black and infernal, reflected in her own. She waited a moment, but I could not find the words. Eventually she smiled sadly, saying "I understand, Edward. It's ok." and stepped back. She turned and took a sip of her soda and I moved to put the bottle back in the fridge. When I turned back around she was already heading back towards the bonfire.

Outside she spoke quickly, thanking me for inviting her over and running over the final plans for the midnight prank one last time. I looked across the yard at my siblings and felt truly envious of the love they have found in each other and how simply that aspect of their lives had fit into place.

I tried to console myself with the memory of the moment we had just shared, by far the most intimate moment I have ever experienced and so much more than I ever dreamed possible. It was hard to conceal my heartbreak though, I feel cheated by fate for being dealt a hand I can never possibly win, but I cannot possibly escape, nor even want to. As Neruda said:

'And when you appear

All the rivers sound

In my body, bells

Shake the sky,

And a hymn fills the world.'

When we rejoined the others, Emmett was bouncing around excitedly and flatly refused to wait the final teenty minutes until midnight before starting with the fireworks. He gave us all sparklers, which Bella and I both welcomed as a distraction from the tension between us. I wasn't much in the mood for pranks by this point, still reeling from what had just passed between Bella and I, but played my part nonetheless for the sake of the others.

Emmett started doing lunges and mucking about with cherry bombs to 'get warmed up'. He seemed in fine spirits and quite certain of his plan to deter the aliens with brute force and bottle rockets.

Midnight approached and Alice helpfully suggested we should all go with Emmett to the field where the crop circle was so we could 'say goodbye if he got abducted'. Jasper got Emmett to tell Bella about finding the alien egg as a distraction, while I hit the remote for the fog machine and Emmett readied himself for the strike of midnight with a Zippo and The Annihilator. We counted down and Emmett lit the fuse just as the clock struck 12.

The firework was really impressive, though at least three times as loud as necessary, I had to cover my ears. It had multiple different coloured explosions and left a heavy cloud of smoke floating across the field. Jasper, Bella and I nodded as Emmett was watching the sky and we hit play on the remote control for the projector and speakers. Across the field an eerie green light appeared, and then another, and another!

We had set up some laser lights on a line between two trees, so that, when released at the right moment, they would swing down and look like an approaching UFO tractor beam, leading Emmett's eye to the 'alien portal' projection and the animation Bella had found of little green men stepping out of the 'energy field', coming to take him away! He screamed and then roared for Rosalie when he saw it! Rosalie was stifling giggles with Alice, but couldn't contain their laughter when Emmett started doing high kicks and throwing cherry bombs into the trees shouting "Ain't gonna get me sucker!" and intermittently squealing at the alien animation.

I had set up a stink bomb on a rock that I threw a pebble at, breaking it at just the right moment, blasting Emmett with the foul smelling gas produced just as he hightailed it away from his imminent abduction. Bella was in charge of pulling a string to tip a bucket of her glow in the dark green slime over Emmett from a tree as he ran away and she somehow managed to get a direct hit! Jasper was in charge of the camera and made sure we got the entire thing on video.

The whole thing went off perfectly! It took Emmett a full five minutes of running laps around the field to realise a) he wasn't going anywhere and b) the aliens were no closer either.

After this chaotic display of tomfoolery, and much raucous laughter from Bella and my siblings, we calmed Emmett down enough to tell him what we'd done and showed him, though he still seemed to think there was some kind of extraterrestrial force at work. He laughed loudly, and then threw slime at me. It hit me in the ear and I shrieked quite a lot. Bella had to take me inside and help me clean it away. I liked it very much when she washed me, it tickled when she used the towel to gently wipe my ear.

I told her my second alien joke when she was drying me off, by coincidence it was quite fitting: 'How do aliens keep themselves clean? With a meteor shower!' she crinkled her nose and said "Happy new year you doofus" to me. I gave her a grin and wished her a happy new year and she gave me a little hug. I was saddened that I had not been able to act in the closer moment we had shared in the kitchen before, and have felt a dull, cold ache in my stomach since then that I cannot shake. Despite this, I am very much relieved she still wanted to touch me at all.

She has a way of somehow making everything ok even when it really isn't at all.

Bella let me go, but kept hold of my hand and I gave her what I am sure must have been a big dopey smile. She took me back outside. still holding my hand, and we rejoined the others who were laughing at Jasper's video footage of our prank. Jasper winked at me and even Rosalie looked like she might not think Bella and I were as awful as she usually does.

Things are changing for the better, I can feel it!

A/N: Please leave a review! Thanks so much to my wonderful beta wh1teow1, please show some love and read Moirai, a reimagining of Twilight for the new decade! Should he have just kissed her? Or would that undermine his new honest way of life?