I forgot how much I hated the plane ride to New York. Now, 4 years later, I remember again. My neck and back ache, my head hurts from screaming children and screaming adults, and I'm exhausted…. but I'm here.

We landed in Seattle around 4 in the evening. I was anxious to collect my luggage and meet up with my parents. It had been a whole year since I had seen them, and that was only because they were able to fly out to visit me. They came every year, once a year, since I left. It meant so much since I know they aren't well off financially.

I had my luggage and was trying not to run toward where I knew my parents would be waiting for me. I was about to explode from excitement when I saw a sign with my name on it and two heads of dark hair.

I stopped caring about social norms and bolted in their direction. I didn't slow down as I crashed into them and felt their arms wrap around me. My mother was crying, I could tell, but my father was whispering into my hair.

"Welcome home Kailynn, we've missed you…" that was enough to make me cry.

We stayed like that for a couple of minutes before we heard a throat clear.

"I'm sorry, I know you guys miss her and you're her parents and everything BUT you've flown out to see her at least 3 times and I haven't seen her in 4 years so can I PLEASE hug my best friend?!"

My parents chuckled and let me go as I looked up into the face of my teary eyed best friend. We launched ourselves toward each other, each sobbing madly. My parents could be heard laughing behind us but we didn't care. I was home.

Another clearing of the throat caused Shay to pull away from me and wipe her eyes.

"Sorry sorry, I'm sure Embry wants to hug you too. He missed you almost as much as I did!" She motioned behind her. My gaze fell onto Embry and I was in shock. I hadn't seen him since I left and the scrawny little Quileute boy with long black locks was replaced by this Greek god standing before me.

He'd not only buffed up, but he grew 3-4 inches as well. His skin was stretched over his arms smoothly, accentuating every detail and his hair was cropped short. When my gaze finally met his my breath caught in my throat. My heart stopped and I felt like I couldn't breathe and suddenly it didn't matter who was around.

His eyes were staring at my face with a look… I can't really describe. That quickly changed to something akin to deep sorrow. I felt my heart clench. I needed to know what was wrong. I felt this deep longing to understand what was troubling him and fix it.

A laugh broke the silence.

"Geez I know you both have changed a lot since Kai has been gone but you don't just have to stare at each other like strangers!" Shay chuckled. That seemed to snap us both out of whatever trance we were in and he stepped forward and engulfed me in a hug.

"See! That's more like it! Act like you guys are best friends!" Shay and my parents were laughing but all I could hear was Embry whispering into my hair.

"Not Kai… nonononononono… it can't be her… please… please…"

—

Once we were settled in the car and heading home Shay started chattering away. I was sitting in between her and Embry, with my parents in the front laughing at Shay's stories. The only two who weren't laughing were me and Embry.

With him pressed up so close to me in the cramped back seat I could feel the heat radiating off of him. He was tense, like he was nervous and didn't want to be there. He hadn't talked to me at all besides what I heard him whispering at the airport, though I don't think I was supposed to hear that. No one else could notice the tension between us, and for that I was grateful.

I didn't know why I was acting like this with him. We talked on the phone every week. Maybe it was just shock over seeing him looking SO different?

...that had to be it! What else could it be?!

"...and the venue we got is so gorgeous! Right, babe?" Shay turned to Embry, who just gave her a small smile and a nod. It looked as if he was in pain… I definitely was.

When she called him babe something lit up in me. I've never really felt it before, not this strongly at least. The last time I can remember having this feeling was when Shay and I were 7 and she got the new Barbie I'd really been wanting but my parents couldn't afford…

Jealousy?

Why was I jealous?! Could it be related to the feeling I have of being lonely?

Suddenly my heart sank. The feelings overwhelmed me and anxiety set in. I was alone. I didn't have anyone that loved me like Embry and Shay love each other. I wasn't getting married or dating or even kissing anyone! I was by myself, I would die alone… I would never experience having kids… I wou—

His hand gently grasped mine. No one is looking at us. I feel him lean closer to me.

"Stop panicking. I'm right here. Just breathe Kai."

And I did.

I felt my entire body calming down. The anxiety I had was diminishing slowly. I didn't understand how just those three sentences could stop the flood of emotions, but they did. I shot him a glance and he was staring down at me in worry. I have a small smile at him and his eyes lit up.

"...and the CAKE! Oh my God the cake is amazing!"

His face fell again like it did at the airport. He let my hand go and turned to look back out the window. My heart clenched again.

I really needed out of this car.