Yesterday after school we went to the darkroom to develop some photos. I explained the enlarger and showed Bella how to make test strips and a contact sheet. She chose which shot she wanted to develop and upon seeing my contact sheet I immediately knew which one of mine I wanted to print first.
She said I should go first so she could watch the process before trying it herself. I loaded the negative, focused the image, checked the filter and calculated the aperture and exposure time then made a test strip to hone the specifics. I let Bella develop it so that she could see the process for herself, she squealed with delight when the image appeared in the developer. I'd always enjoyed the process and was glad Bella seemed to find joy in it too. After 30 seconds in the stop bath and a few moments in the fix I could see which exposure time would work best so we headed back to the enlarger and I set out an 8x10 piece of photo paper in the easel then set the timer and let Bella push the button to expose the print. I went for a small aperture and longer exposure to get as much detail as possible. Bella couldn't see the image and was a bit confused when I dodged and burned the areas I could tell would need it, but watched in attentive silence.
After the timer stopped and the lamp clicked off I took the latent print to the wet bench and slid it face down into the developer.
I heard Bella step towards me as I turned the paper over in the tray. She peered around my back as the chemicals revealed the faint image emerging from the pale emulsion and growing darker with each passing second. Bella made a soft gasp as she saw the image emerge. It was the shot I had taken just before she broke her wrist in December, of her leaping from the highest board in the Seattle pool, alone this time, and with a look of unbridled jubilation on her face. She was incandescent in the image, indescribably lovely.
"Oh Edward!" She whispered as she gazed at the photograph. I rocked the developing bath for a few more seconds and then lifted the paper with the tongs. As developer trickled off the image in rivulets, I could feel Bella's gaze on the back of my neck and hear her heart starting to race. I submerged the print in the stop bath and rocked the tray as I kept time with her breathing, I imagined she must be lost in memories of her high dives and the agonising accident that followed.
I moved the photograph to the fixative tray and turned, expecting Bella to step back, but she took me totally off guard.
She held her ground, her gaze flitting between my eyes and mouth and her breathing shaky as she lifted her delicate hands to my hair and buried her fingers there, drawing my head down. My eyelids drooped in pleasure at the tingling her touch sent in ripples across my scalp.
I stayed very still at first, only moving as she drew so close as to run the soft tip of her nose down the length of my own. I saw my face lit in the dim, red glow of the safelight, my gaze was black, a heady mixture of reverence and hunger reflected in her eyes. Her eyes were dark and dilated too, almost as much as my own.
My hands moved to cradle her face. Her skin was impossibly soft and warm, I could see her blush, even under the red cast of the safelight. I touched her as delicately as I could, weaving my fingers softly into the hairline at the nape of her neck and felt goosebumps rising in the wake of my cool, trembling, fingertips.
No longer plagued by the secret of my vampirism that compelled me to hold back on New Year's Eve, my mind raced, knowing nothing would ever be the same and knowing with every fibre of my being that I did not want it to be. I did not want to face an eternity as a coward who had refused this precious moment, nor to ruin it with halting and second guessing Bella's motives for wanting to kiss me. At that point it was every bit as undeniable as it was unbelievable that she really did want to kiss me, and that was enough for me to surrender.
Bella sighed and nuzzled my nose with her own, she glanced at me, seeking permission and I closed my eyes, moving infinitesimally closer. Bella found the assent she sought and rose up on top toes, lifting her jaw, to press her perfect mouth against my own.
Her lips are heaven, she tastes like home and hope and all the good that has ever existed in the world. I was drunk within an instant and I shall never again be sober. It is an intoxication I have never known, neither through my own experience nor through the eyes of others. Words are all I have to document the moments that followed, though they are laughably inadequate.
Her blood sings to me stronger than any I have ever experienced in a century but her kiss, her kiss is so much more potent. It is a hot flame thawing and warming the dark, frozen spot where my soul once lived, liquid gold surging through the still chambers of my heart, electricity, a symphony, joy and reverence all rolled up into one. I knew she was everything before she kissed me, but now? Now she has shared it with me.
She seemed to melt into me as I leant back against the wooden worktop in the darkroom, I gauged my movements against hers, keeping them slower and gentler so as to avoid hurting her. Bella pressed her body against mine as she relaxed further into the kisses, I could feel her heart pounding inside my own chest and I could not tell where she ended and I began.
A whimper escaped me at this revelation and Bella responded with increasingly urgent movements, hooking her arm under my own and grasping at the back of my t-shirt. It was most ungentlemanly of me to continue in this way but I was utterly bewitched by her passion. There is no way she didn't notice my physical reaction, and I feared I would scare or disgust her, she did not draw back though, I am unsure why. I wish I could will my body to behave appropriately, I feel my control over my manlier urges is so very weak when it comes to even the mere thought of Bella.
My fingers mingled in the locks of hair trailing down her back, releasing waves of strawberry fragrance that I drank in with the sweetness of her breath and the taste of her lips. And then one hand was exploring the subtle curve of her spine, as the other continued to furrow at the nape of her neck, she shivered slightly and I paused, drawing back shyly and whispering 'Are you cold? I'm sorry'. She stroked my jaw and traced her fingers ever so lightly down my throat, as she shook her head and bit her lip, her heartbeat skipped as she kissed me again, and again, on my mouth, along my jaw, up my neck to my earlobe, and across my cheek, back to my mouth in a rapturous cycle.
My mouth found those spots on Bella too, each with its own special softness, each eliciting it's own tiny sigh, gasp, or stutter of the heart. A new universe opened up to me, with Bella at the centre and me in her arms, she is an unexplored Elysium I want to pledge my lost soul to discovering, and worshipping. I want to learn every sigh and shiver, every freckle and goosebump. If she will permit me I shall dedicate all of my being to becoming an expert on her. I can think of no greater purpose and no greater joy.
We embraced and kissed for I don't know how long. Time no longer held any significance as all I had been living for was that very moment. Eternity was right now, in that moment to me.
My hands explored the velum skin at the inside of her elbows, her wrists, the softness of her palms, then mingled our fingers together as we kept kissing. I was so afraid to stop.
As I trailed kisses up her neck in a most unchaste way, and nuzzled her ear, burying my face in her tresses and inhaling her sent, getting even more drunk on her fragrance she whispered my name. I have never heard a more perfect sound. My name on god's own lips.
My manners long forgotten, I kept kissing her neck, feeling the vibrations swell and recede in her throat as she said my name again in a heavenly sigh. I found her collar bone and kissed her there, claiming those new hollows, warm with her blush, then cooled by my mouth. Her pulse raced beneath my touch, her breath hitching and stuttering with each new touch as I brushed my lips in a soft caress across her delicate skin.
Somewhere, in another life, I burned as an inferno raged in my throat and venom cascaded in my mouth, but that Edward was buried, obscured so very far away, and everything but those earthly delights was lost to me in the moment. I had forgotten myself almost completely, but somehow was guided by some other instinct, to cherish Bella, to venerate her, and I let that win out, driven by the love that consumes me. My actions were wanton, and yet felt like worship, touching her is a sacred act to me. I do not know how to reconcile my feelings with what I know to be morally right.
My senses were aflame with new sensations and granted wishes as she placed her hot mouth against my skin over and over, sending shockwaves through me each time with no seeming diminishment in their intensity no matter how many times she repeated the gesture. She kissed the insides of my wrists, my palms and nuzzled her cheek into my hand as she slowly fluttered her eyelids open and returned to gazing at me, panting softly as she trembled. She still held one hand against my mid back and she moved her hands lower, trailing around my waist, up my chest, travelling across the marble contours of my body. I must have felt like a statue to her, but she embraced me and her fingertips explored my form tentatively, as if I were as human and fragile as she. Stroking me softly, every touch sent shivers through my very core.
"Bella" I breathed as she laid her forehead in the crook of my neck, unsteady on her feet and overwhelmed. I caught her around the waist and held her away from my hips, though she was still leaning her weight into my chest as I supported us both.
Peppering kisses along my neck she whispered "Oh god, don't stop. I think I'll die if you stop." So I raised my hand and tilted her jaw so that her lips met mine again. She kissed me back, even more passionately than before, sucking my bottom lip between hers, tasting me.
Her fingers traced around my ear, across my cheek to my lips. Between kisses, she traced the outline of my mouth, eyes wide and wondrous as she did so. How could I hold such fascination for her? How could any of this be real? I found I didn't care, I only cared about making sure she didn't want to stop.
I kissed her temple down to to shell of her ear and whispered low
"And when you appear
All the rivers sound
In my body, bells
Shake the sky,
And a hymn fills the world."
She sighed, woozily and clutched at my shirt. Redoubling her efforts and kissing me urgently as a breathy moan escaped her lips. She was trembling all over and I began to wonder if she was about to swoon.
I cradled her and kissed the top of her head, holding her still to catch her breath. Fearful I would never have another chance, that she would realise the danger she was in, or remember the monster she was locked in the arms of and pull away, I whispered again "Bella, you are everything"
But then I felt her smile against me and she said "Edward, I've been waiting so long for you to kiss me. I thought you never would."
I apologised and confessed I had wanted to kiss her from almost the moment I first saw her, that she is so beautiful and that I had never dared hope she would want me, especially once she knew what I am.
"You're Edward, the kindest, most beautiful person I've ever met. That's what you are." My heart soared at her words and I feared I would be the one to swoon, overcome by a heady mix of elation, relief and disbelief. And love. Such powerful, ever deepening love.
"You really want to be with me? Like this? Despite all the horrors I've told you about myself?"
"More than anything."
"But... how could you possibly, Bella? I don't understand."
"Well promise you'll let me show you then."
"Anything, Bella. Anything."
She looked up at me and smiled the most dazzling smile I have ever seen. I could see my face reflected in her glittering eyes, with an unfamiliar expression of such joy as I have never seen or felt before.
She kissed me again and hummed against my lips "More."
We kept kissing, never breaking our embrace for more rapturous minutes, the only people in the universe, wrapped in each other's arms, Bella's lips looked bee stung, despite my caution, their colour darkening as she pressed them again and again against my own.
She was the image of perfection, delicate and so alive. A marvel. I could not comprehend the wonder of her. I have never been able to.
Somewhere far away I could hear the sound of keys turning and lights being shut off. The school was closing for the evening and our time together was drawing to a close. Like Juliet denying the lark's cry, I clung to Bella, afraid for the cold light of the world that existed beyond the darkroom walls.
Bella sensed something and asked if I could hear someone, so I told her of the janitor's approach and how the evening must be drawing in.
"I don't want to go home"
"But, what about Charlie?"
"I don't want to go home without you"
"I do not want to be apart from you either"
"Then come with me."
"But what will your father say?"
"Sneak in again! You're a vampire dingus! I'll unlock my window, wait upstairs while I eat and then I'll tell Charlie I'm turning in early. We can hang out in my room. I'm pretty sure you're the quietest guy in town."
"Are you sure? You really want me to come into your room?" My conscience was entirely forgotten at the prospect.
"Definitely. C'mon let's get going before we get locked in and Charlie launches a search party."
I took the single photo we had managed to develop out of the fix and put it in the wash, it should be ok left overnight, even though it was technically too long. I decided I could come back in the morning to hang it to dry. I would definitely want to keep it, or for Bella to.
We tidied the things away quickly and I carried Bella's backpack. She held my hand as we exited the darkroom, both squinting under the bright fluorescents.
By the time we were in the parking lot it was well past nightfall and her truck was the only vehicle left in the student lot. I held the door open for Bella and climbed in beside her, hating to break our hands apart and quickly seeking hers out again, once settled in the truck. Bella smiled, gazing down at our hands. I lifted them and kissed her knuckles.
"I think, unfortunately, I'm gonna need those to drive Edward." She said wiggling her fingers.
"Oh of course! Sorry." I muttered and released her again, jealous of the gear shift and steering wheel as she turned the key and the rust bucket roared to life.
We drove in a pleasant silence back to her house. I gazed at her and she stole glances at me as we travelled the quiet streets back to her home. She let me out at the corner and I assured her I'd be fine and would see her in a moment. I was in the tree by her window before she had pulled into the driveway. We still had an hour before the chief was due home, but I guess Bella didn't want to risk the neighbours seeing me, or was worried he might have come home unexpectedly.
Bella barrelled through the front door and up the steps, bursting into her room and wrenching the window open. I climbed through and she flung herself into my open arms.
"I don't like it, being away from you. Not for even a second."
"Me either" I said.
"I don't want you to slip away Edward."
"I'm not going anywhere unless you send me away."
"Good" she muttered as she squeezed me, or tried to. Then suddenly she froze. "Oh god. Close your eyes! My room's a total mess!"
I chuckled but complied, reluctantly releasing Bella and listening as she scurried about grabbing whatever she felt I should not see. For the next few minutes I heard her rummaging about, the sound of drawers being pulled open and shoved shut, the soft fall of clothes into a laundry hamper and a small scuffle with her closet door. Adorable!
I took the time to check my thirst, a painful scorching in my throat, but my bloodlust was well in check and I was so rapt with joy and wonder that it soothed my predatory instincts.
When she returned to my arms and said I could open my eyes again she looked slightly dishevelled with a look of resignation on her face. I suppose she hadn't realised quite how many of her things had been left on show. She certainly hadn't been planning for me to visit today, that much was clear.
I held her close and told her "In any room you're in, you're the only thing I see, Bella."
She buried her face in my chest, but gave me a little squeeze. I tried to reassure her, kissing her hair and changing the subject to ease the tension.
"What are you going to have for dinner? Maybe I can help in the kitchen until I hear your dad?"
She perked up at this, saying "Good idea. There's some pasta bake left over from last night I can warm up and I need a drink. You can help me make a salad."
I smiled and she led me down to the kitchen, holding my hand tightly all the while, as if she were scared I'd dissolve at any moment.
In the kitchen Bella downed a glass of water, then got ingredients out of the fridge and put a large half-eaten tray of yellowish stuff in the oven, which I deduced was the pasta bake. She pulled a knife and chopping board out of a drawer and I eyed them warily.
"Will you allow me?" I asked
She rolled her eyes but acquiesced, reading my worried expression.
"Ok, I'll wash the veggies, you chop."
"Perfect."
Her jaw dropped at the speed with which I chopped the tomatoes, some large leaves, and another red thing. She giggled when she saw I had sliced the entire cucumber and grabbed a container for all the excess. I have no idea about food quantities or proportions, so I'd thought she would use the whole thing. I'll remember next time. I hope there is a next time.
Bella made some kind of mixture of oil and some brown sour smelling liquid, with some green bits of leaves and set it next to the salad.
"What's that? Grass sauce" I asked
"Salad dressing silly!" She snorted. "Wow, you really don't know anything about food at all do you?"
"I do! I know wasabi makes me cry and how to bake a cake!" I retorted
"And I know a darn site more about eggs than Emmett."
"Not something to brag about Edward!" She giggled.
"Can we make a cake together some time?"
"Sure, that sounds fun, but I'm in charge of the baking time, ok?"
"Deal"
We were both in high spirits, nervous around each other and a little jumpy, but gravitating together. She picked up the knife and chopping board and started to run the water in the sink. I decided to intervene, just in case. I stood behind her as she faced the sink and wrapped my arms gently around her, pushing her hands out of harm's way and washing the knife before removing it from the water, drying and stowing the death stick safely back in the drawer. Satisfied the imminent threat had passed I returned to my spot behind Bella as she rinsed off the chopping board and things from that morning's breakfast.
She leaned back into me and again I surrendered to her draw, sweeping her hair aside, revealing her neck and jaw. I leant down, placing a trail of kisses down her throat that sent her pulse clattering once again.
"Is there anything else you need to do before your dad arrives home?"
"I should throw on some laundry, then we can watch tv. Or not. Whatever you want." she said eyeing me over her shoulder.
"I know how to use a washing machine." I blurted out. Idiot.
"Oh! Look at you, house husband in training!" She quipped then blushed a deep shade of pink, before wriggling away from me.
I caught her wrist and whispered "I'm sure you can tame me."
She blushed even more and looked about shyly before burying her face in her hands and groaning.
"I'm so sorry Bella. What did I do wrong? I'm sorry. Oh dear. Oh no!"
"I'm not used to you being all..." she mumbled from behind her hands and then gestured up and down in my direction.
"All...?"
She hid behind her hair and muttered "All charming like this."
"I'm sorry. I really am. I'll stop."
"No, I... I'm just not used to it is all."
"But you like it?" I ventured.
She nodded briefly, and I could see her eyes screwed shut through the curtain of her hair. This was going to take some getting used to for us both, whatever happens, all the established borders we had are in flux now.
I didn't want to embarrass her, but her blush was truly lovely. And miraculously she liked my clumsy attempt at flirtation. I decided to ease the tension with my old reliable technique.
"Hey Bella?"
"Yes?"
"What do you call an ok factory?"
She rolled her eyes and groaned, immediately relaxing (and I think contemplating whether or not to hit me).
"A satisfactory"
She groaned louder, but it broke the tension and we held hands as we went to collect the laundry. Bella gathered towels from the bathroom and I carried them, wondering at the curious mixture of Bella's scent mixed with Charlie's, delicious and yet simultaneously wrong. I decided to hold my breath after the first whiff. Bella darted into her room to grab another towel then we made our way downstairs and into the basement where the washer and dryer were.
I dropped the towels in and Bella dumped some laundry detergent on top, then set the machine to a hot cycle.
I'd never seen the basement here before. There were piled boxes, some overflowing with some dubious looking sculptures that I can only assume were Renee's old art projects from long ago. Fishing gear and a folding camping chair rested against the wall, and a dusty box labelled Bella caught my attention.
Bella tugged me back upstairs into the warm kitchen and led me through to the living room. She took a seat on the couch pulling me down next to her. I grabbed a cushion and covered my lap, already feeling powerful stirrings in my nether regions. WIll they never tire?
"Are you ok?" I asked.
"Yeah. Are you?"
"Bella..."
She looked at me suddenly fearful, her brow crinkled as she seemed to brace herself for some kind of disappointment.
"I've never been so happy in my entire life." I said earnestly and tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear.
She let out a sigh of relief and smiled warmly. After a moment she turned shy and whispered "Will you kiss me again?"
She leant towards me slowly and our mouths met once more. Pleasure exploding through me as I found myself pulled once more to the centre of the universe with everything in a dizzying rush, orbiting around us. She shifted in her seat, drawing her knees up and kneeling as her hands found my jaw and mine her waist.
She drew closer, then rose up, straddling me and sitting back on my knees, raking her fingers through my hair, her lips luscious and slow against my own. She smiled and exhaled softly, moving her hands to my chest where I realised a loud purr was emanating.
She repositioned herself so she was cradled in my arms and her legs were to one side, scooting down and placing her ear against my chest. She looked up at me, smiling and nuzzled her cheek against me.
"You're really happy?"
I nodded, lost in her eyes and whispered "There are no words" and gently cradled her a little closer. I stroked her hair, playing with the soft curls that formed at the ends. "Thank you, Bella."
She looked a little puzzled so I continued.
"Thank you for being braver than me. For giving me a chance, so many chances, for forgiving me, for being foolish enough to ignore what I am and care about the man I want to be. I owe you such a debt of gratitude. You've brought me so much happiness, so more than I deserve. You're so wonderful, so beautiful, you're-"
She cut me off with another kiss, slow and earnest, as if she were pouring into it every ounce of her emotion, every word she could not voice, in this divine gesture. I felt my chest swell with such love and awe, and melted into her. She drew herself up once more, this time pressing her soft curves against me, pushing me into the couch as my fingers spread, spanning her back.
Her breathing increased and again I felt her heart pound inside my chest, against my own heart I supposed. She raked her fingers through my hair, then grabbed a fistful and tugged at it, as she sucked on my bottom lip, causing venom to flood my mouth and for an embarrassing moan to escape me. I have never felt so bewitched. Who was I in this moment? I did not recognise myself, these were not the vampiric instincts driving me, were they my buried human appetites? The fire which roared in my throat was met and consumed by the heat of my lust.
I pulled back with a groan, panting, and rested my forehead against hers.
"Too much?" She whispered, biting her lip sheepishly.
"Yes, I mean, no, I... I don't know. I..."
She shushed me and kissed my forehead, smoothing the furrows with her warm fingertips and sighing happily and snuggling back down against my chest so I could cradle her again.
She grabbed the remote and turned on the TV, idly flipping through the channels and nuzzling against my chest. She settled on the nature channel, and we half watched colourful fish darting around a coral reef, but mostly gazed at each other.
A warm, pungent smell was emanating from the kitchen and I realised our hour was nearly up, Charlie would be home soon. I felt panic rise in my chest inexplicably at the thought of being separated from Bella, even if she were just downstairs with her father. Something else was bothering me too, I felt I had been very boorish in my actions and was starting to feel incredibly guilty at having acted in such a licentious way. Yet I also felt joy and peace. Hope, even. And such consuming love. I looked at Bella, searching for some sense in the maelstrom of emotions that consumed me. She raised an eyebrow and asked "Are you worrying again?"
"I fear have been most ungentlemanly, Bella. I am so very sorry. I don't know what's come over me."
"You've been very gentle. It's lovely." She whispered. I had tried to be gentle, but still, I had been incredibly unscrupulous.
"Bella, I am so happy, though I feel I should behave more chastely towards you."
She hid behind her hair, a tension rising in her muscles and mumbled "I don't want you to be chaste, but…. have I made you feel bad? I'm sorry."
"Not at all, you feel like heaven. I just fear that my behaviour is wrong. It is not how a decent man would behave."
"I'm the one who climbed on top of you." She mumbled.
"And I let you."
"You didn't want me to." It was not a question.
"Oh I did. That's the problem. Right now, I'm trying to work out how I'm going to cope waiting upstairs and not charging in and carrying you off upstairs with me."
"Oh!"
"Oh god! I must sound like a total beast. I'm sorry."
She giggled and inhaled to say something, then thought better of it, turning scarlet, slowly sinking further behind her hair.
Emerging from her hair she said "C'mon, I've got an idea. Let's go up to my room so my dad doesn't walk in on you."
Bella squealed loudly as I stood up with her still cradled in my arms and darted to her bedroom in a split second. I set her carefully down on the edge of the bed and felt suddenly awkward as I realised I probably should have let her walk. What was I doing?!
"Sit down" she said.
I looked about and found a rocking chair in the corner. Even in my new lascivious incarnation I would not presume to be so bold as to venture near her bed. Bella seemed surprised at my choice but rose and made for the bookcase asking if there was anything there I hadn't read and pulling out a large volume bound in imitation leather.
There was one book I hadn't read before called Tooth and Claw, which she handed to me, along with the other book. It was a photo album.
I heard the distant approach of the chief's thoughts and raised my head in their direction.
"Charlie?"
I nodded and said "He's about a mile away. He's hungry. He's had a rough day."
"You can hear him that far away?!" She said.
"Yes, actually he's harder to hear than most people. His mind is quiet too, but I can hear his thoughts if I focus."
"So we still have a minute?"
"Three" I said, watching Bella move toward me and opening my arms reflexively. She crawled into my lap with the book and photo album and hummed happily as I nuzzled against her, kissing her cheek and forehead.
Her lips parted again and she whispered "One more then" and found my mouth, cautious this time and without the urgency of our previous kiss. I rocked us and purred again as I tumbled into the magnetic pull of her touch. Tingling all over I felt Bella respond to the sensation, goosebumps appearing on her forearms and her scalp reacting as I wound my fingers through her soft hair. I quickly forgot my sense again and tentatively sucked on her bottom lip, feeling the soft flesh pulse deliciously warm against mine.
We continued like this until the sound of the cruiser pulling up and the door slamming roused us. Bella's eyes fluttered open softly and she whispered "Wow."
I reluctantly released her to stand and she started for the door.
"Um, Bella."
She turned to look at me again.
"You might want to brush your hair."
She self consciously raised her hands to feel the dishevelled mass framing her angelic face. Then she giggled and blushed. "Good idea" she muttered and grabbed her brush, raking it violently through her tresses as I winced. Didn't that hurt? I wished she would let me do it.
As Charlie came through the door and called "Bella?" She set down her hairbrush, stepping back toward me and leant down to place one last chaste kiss upon my mouth.
"No snooping, ok?"
"I promise." I whispered and mournfully watched her as she exited the room.
She shut the door and made her way downstairs greeting her father and assuring him dinner would be ready in a moment. The chief sighed deeply, hanging up his gun belt and jacket.
I watched her through her father's thoughts as Bella asked about his day and they talked about a dumpster fire Charlie had had to deal with, another in a series plaguing the local businesses and police department of late. I suspected greasy Newton, or possibly one of the gang of freshmen jocks who often seemed intent on petty destruction as a show of machismo to their teammates. Charlie grimaced as he remembered the putrid smell and I saw Bella's concern reflected in his mind.
She grabbed him a beer and got herself a drink from the fridge, setting it upon the kitchen table as Charlie wearily collapsed into his chair.
"Smells good Bells!" He said. She smiled and laid out some kind of kitchen implement, silverware and two plates. The salad we had made was mixed with the dressing and Bella picked up two potholders, then opened the oven.
Charlie's thoughts drifted to this weekend's fishing expedition, but were quickly dismissed when Bella flinched and gasped.
"Shoot" she said as she winced, she put the oven dish down on the placemats laid out on the table and turned on the faucet. I stood up, compelled to go to her, but managed to fight the urge and stay rooted to the spot. I forced myself to sit again as Bella was running her wrist under the water for a moment.
"Let me get you some ice hun." The chief said.
"Nah, it's fine, it's only small. Nothing to worry about." Bella insisted. But of course I worried. A great deal. My poor, sweet Bella, injured in the line of duty as a devoted daughter! She would not be taking such risks again if I had my way. I should have taken the dish out before Charlie came in, it was so thoughtless of me. I shall recommend a diet of cold food only from now on. I don't see why they heat it up anyway, especially not so hot as to risk burns.
Bella held her wrist against the cool glass holding her drink for a moment and then smiled at Charlie to reassure him. So brave!
"How was school?"
"Good, thanks." She grinned, "Edward showed me how to develop photos in the darkroom in the art department. It was wonderful."
"Wonderful eh?" The chief chuckled. Bella blushed and started shovelling pasta bake onto Charlie's plate and her own with the kitchen tool. I wondered what it was called. I resolved to read some books about cooking and try to impress Bella with my culinary know how at the soonest opportunity.
"So Edward..."
"Yeah, Edward Cullen. Doctor Cullen's son."
"That massive great mountain of a boy?!" Charlie's thoughts grew panicked as murky images of Emmett's bulging musculature filled his mind and I had to stifle a snort.
"That's Emmett, Edward's brother. Edward's normal sized dad!"
"Edward that brought you home with a broken wrist?" He asked suspiciously. Horrifying images of Bella from December, exhausted and pained, broken due to my neglect flashed across his thoughts.
"Edward that helped me when I slipped in the pool, Dad. Edward that got me to the hospital right away and called you to make sure you knew what was happening."
"Right. Edward." The chief muttered, frowning into his salad.
"So you guys are friends then? I thought you were just doing that project together last semester."
"We're friends, yeah. He helped me with my calculus and college applications. He's applied to Harvard and Dartmouth Dad. He's really smart. And kind."
"Is he now?"
"Yeah. He sent me all those gifts when I was sick last October, remember?"
"I thought that was that nice girl, Alice."
"Alice is his sister, remember? She's my friend too."
"Well her, I like."
Visions of me trying to dazzle Bella with money and buy my way into her affections floated in Charlie's mind. He had the utmost regard for Carlisle but held a deep suspicion as to the motives of any and all teenage boys around his daughter. I honestly shared his concerns and had a century of evidence to prove that although love or altruism genuinely did motivate some, many men Bella's age would have lewd ulterior motives at least partially motivating behaviour similar to mine. Was this the force leading me so astray? Just teenage lust? There is no way it could be that powerful.
The chief imagined me manipulating his innocent daughter, guilting her into feeling she owed me her body in exchange for my kindness, pressuring her for sexual favours at an isolated make out spot in a flashy car, convincing her that this was romance or chivalry. The thoughts turned my stomach. Was this what I had done today? A powerful urge to hide in the closet arose, but Bella had forbidden it. I knew teenage girls were often far too generous in their attribution of genuine romance to far more loaded gestures from boys trying to find a way underneath their clothes. I assured myself I would never subject Bella to such heinous subterfuge consciously, though frowned at the nagging notion that was exactly what I had done. It hadn't felt wrong. My moral compass was useless under her magnetism.
"You'd like Edward too Dad. He's very polite, smart, he plays the piano and helped his mom with the library renovations. He speaks lots of languages and paints. He's a good guy Dad." A good vampire who wants to ravage your body and drink your blood. Oh Bella! Far too kind as always.
"You seem quite taken with him Bells."
Bella blushed and squeezed her eyes shut briefly, but didn't respond.
"Just make sure you don't let him distract you from school. Senior year, y'know. You've got to make every bit of it count."
"I will Dad. I promise." Bella said quietly.
As he ate the last of his dinner Charlie's thoughts were filled with images of Bella graduating, leaving for college, parties filled with lecherous frat boys and underage drinking. Then memories of his own teenage exploits, drunken races in shopping carts around the Forks supermarket parking lot, sneaking out and climbing a trellis to steal kisses through a bedroom window with a girl who looked so much like Bella that it must have been her mother. The chief was more perceptive than I had thought. "And no sneaking out!" He blurted suddenly. A faint blush betrayed his thoughts, I had always assumed it came from her mother's side.
"Where would I sneak out to in Forks?!" Bella laughed "The library? Maybe a night of debauchery at the senior centre?!"
"Well there seem to be enough local kids that find ways to entertain themselves, sneaking liquor from their parents, setting fires and getting up to Christ knows what in the woods. Never mind the bears or the..."
"Edward's not like that Dad. None of my friends are. And neither am I." Bella interjected, frustration evident in her tone.
"I know Bells. I just worry, you know? You'll be off to college before I know it. My little girl, all grown up." He said wistfully.
"That's right," Bella shot him a grin "but you worry too much Dad. You know I'm responsible."
"You always have been. Just don't lose your head over this Edward fella, ok? You be careful."
"I will Dad." Bella said and stood up to put her dish in the sink. Charlie rose, grabbing a dish towel in what I assumed was their nightly routine, her washing and him drying. Bella turned and gave her father a warm hug. His thoughts quieted, as he held his daughter, grateful that for now she was safe in his home and unaware of the monster lurking, inches from his daughter's bed, eavesdropping.
He became curious, "New shampoo?" He asked. My scent. All over Bella.
"Same one as always."
"Huh."
They washed and put away the dinner things in a friendly silence and made their way to the living room. Charlie switched a baseball game on and Bella settled in to watch with him. I could see her fidgeting and hear her heart race occasionally as she stared blankly toward the TV. I don't think she was watching the game at all.
In contrast, Charlie's mind was focused solely on the game and drifted to fishing during the commercial breaks. So I turned my attention to the photo album I had held in my hands for the past forty minutes.
Inside were pictures of Bella and her mother, the woman from Charlie's memories, older here and tan, in the Arizona sunshine. And Bella, my beautiful Bella. Bright eyed on road trips, grinning with an ice cream, grumpy in a ballet tutu, decorating a Christmas tree, proudly holding a cake that said 'happy birthday mom' in shaky pink lettering. Each shot was a window into the life I had missed that she had spent before she blazed into my life like a meteor, changing every part of me. I ran my fingers across my lips, craving her kiss again, aching with longing. It was all I could do to turn the pages and stay rooted to the rocking chair.
Bella in a school play, looking embarrassed in a soccer uniform, graduating elementary, middle school. Then fewer and fewer photos of her as she entered her teens, shy and awkward but undeniably beautiful. In sunglasses looking out over the desert as the sunset, painting a bedroom- was this her room in Phoenix? With an elderly couple who resembled her mother, I assume her grandparents. Then at Phil and Renee's wedding, her mother glowing in a floaty white gown, flowers in her hair, Bella beside her, in a purple dress, smiling for the camera, but eyes revealing how awkward she felt again. Renee and Bella posing in baseball caps, shorts and flip flops, a home made sign held between them saying 'Go Phil, Go!'
And then, empty pages. Nothing of her life from this last year. It felt wrong and I wondered if she had been in any pictures at all besides the ones I took in December and the pixelated one she was in the background of on Jessica Stanley's cursed blog. Angela liked photos though. Surely she had taken some. They were close friends, weren't they?
I resolved to take more pictures. I absolutely shouldn't be in any photographs, but I could take them at least. I wanted her life to be documented. Not this part with me, she should be free to let me fade away entirely once she moves on, but the rest of her life should be recorded for posterity.
I wonder how Bella will look back upon today, this year, in the future. Once she has moved on. It stings to think of, but there's no point denying it. This is all temporary. And all the more precious for it. Rosalie's haste gifted us this time together, and I plan to make the most of it. It's all I can do. Until she outgrows me and is ready to move on.
In the back of the album there were a few loose photos of Bella with Charlie as a baby, one of the three of them, a family. My heart went out to Charlie. Losing his wife and daughter like that must have been excruciating. He clearly adores her.
I leafed through the album twice more, gazing over each photograph and memorising the details, searching for hidden clues about her past.
Once I was satisfied I turned my attention to Tooth and Claw. Despite my attempts to read slowly I had finished it within twenty minutes. The story was about dragons, which was unexpected, but it was fairly well written for a fantasy book. I wondered if it was a favourite of Bella's. I should like to read to her as she falls asleep in my arms.
Book finished, I checked in on Charlie's thoughts again, they were lazily filled with the baseball game, then the sound of running water crept in, strengthening as a string of vivid images of salmon jumping upstream emerged, winding past a flaming dumpster as it floated downstream. Charlie was reeling in a behemoth of a specimen, larger than any I had ever seen, his excitement was palpable. He was dreaming. Such wholesome dreams he has.
I heard him begin snoring and Bella shift, standing from the couch. She went to get a drink in the kitchen and crept upstairs. It was only around eight thirty, but Charlie seemed to be exhausted and was slumbering deeply now in his recliner.
Bella went past her bedroom into the bathroom, I heard her brushing her teeth and fidgeting about for a moment before she came to the bedroom and opened the door a crack, peeking in. She seemed almost surprised to see me where she left me, perhaps she had thought I should leave, having behaved so rakishly. "He's sleeping" she said quietly.
"I can hear" I chuckled as Charlie's snores practically echoed around the room downstairs. My heart swelled to see her again, but I felt awkward and did not know whether to stay and apologise or leave in shame. She did not seem frightened but I felt surely she must be.
Bella seemed shy after this time apart and I shared that hesitancy with her, but I was concerned for her wellbeing. I focused on the raised pink welt across her wrist and winced, gingerly taking her wrist and placing the coolness of my fingers against it.
"You hurt yourself."
"It's no big deal. That feels nice though." She said as she started to stroke my hair. I was startled that she wanted to be so familiar having had time to absorb my indecent behaviour.
"Should I go?"
"I just got back. I thought you wanted to stay, sorry."
"I want to stay, I just…."
"Please stay." She looked up at me beseechingly and I forgot the right thing to do again. The right thing and the thing which felt right were at odds so often now. I felt quite lost and confused. I was definitely worried about all of it.
I gestured to the rocking chair, signalling Bella should sit down and I knelt before her. As I suspected she was frightened.
"I owe you an apology. I've behaved terribly today Bella. I'm truly sorry. Please forgive me."
"You've changed your mind?"
"I should never have let myself become so shameless. Can you ever forgive me?"
"What are you talking about? We didn't have sex or anything." I eyed the closet with longing, but it was forbidden. I curled up with my arms around my knees and closed my eyes instead. It was nowhere near as good as the closet.
"But…." I faltered though Bella told me to take my time and patted my hand which felt very nice.
"I don't want to hurt you. I feel like I'm taking advantage of you in the worst way. You deserve to be cherished and treated with more respect than I've shown you. I feel horrible about it. Please forgive me. I don't want to cheapen you like that."
"Edward, I'm not for sale."
"Of course, I'm so sorry if I made you feel like you were. I've been vile."
She slid off the chair and enveloped me, wrapping her arms and legs around me as she joined me on the floor. She nuzzled my hair and soothed my back. I couldn't understand how she could be so kind as to feel compassion for her aggressor in this way. Being totally surrounded by her like this made me feel very peaceful though and I started slipping and forgetting my better judgement immediately and plotting another kiss.
"Edward, do you remember those books you read last summer?"
"Yes."
"What did they say about the idea women are worth less if they enjoy … being physical?"
"That it's a way to control women and objectifies them." I buried my head into my knees feeling even worse for insulting her with my apology. "Can I go in the closet?"
"No. But take off your shoes." She went to the bed and lifted up the comforter "You can hide underneath here. I'll tuck you in." I didn't know what that meant but it sounded appealing.
I looked at her to check it was really ok then scurried under the covers and curled up again. Bella sat atop the covers, tightening them around my form. Was this tucking in? I liked this very much indeed. This was MUCH better than the closet, or even the blanket fort because the scent of Bella was very potent and everything was soft, even beneath me. Spherical softness from every angle!
"Thank you" I squeaked quietly.
"So when I said I don't have a price, I don't mean you made me feel cheap or that I felt like I was for sale. I mean that you don't need to worry about that idea because it's bullshit."
I started groaning in shame quietly. She rubbed my back and continued.
"You are such a wonderful person Edward, so gentle and so kind. You wouldn't see me as an object to be bought or traded. I am absolutely certain of it."
"Oh no, never! I promise!"
"So tell me again what you think you did wrong."
"I was beastly."
"You were gentle." She leant down and whispered "It felt so good I want to do it again and again."
I started to purr as she rubbed circles on my back. After a few minutes she kicked off her shoes and then climbed under the covers with me, curling her body around mine and wrapping me up. My purring increased in volume and she nuzzled against my neck.
"Better?"
"Yes. I'm sorry."
"Ssssssh." She planted little kisses upon the nape of my neck.
"Edward, I don't see how what we did today is wrong. Can you explain it to me?"
"It's not wrong for you. It's wrong for me to want you in that way."
"Why?"
"Because I'm a monster."
"I really hate it when you say that about yourself. That's not how I see you."
" I'm so dangerous to you. One lapse of control, even accidentally and I could kill you."
"You could. I know. I also know that you are constantly making sure that I'm safe and that you won't let anything like that happen to me."
"You're being too generous."
"So...what do we do now? Even though you're gentle and it makes us both happy we should stop because you are you and I am me? Won't that just make us both really sad?"
I turned to face her and looked at her earnestly "I don't want to stop. I am happier than I have ever been to be here with you. Today's like a dream come true for me. The only dream I have."
"And I dream of being with you, Edward. Not anyone else, and not a different version of you. I don't wish you were human or different in any other way. I know if I really wanted to I could probably date or kiss someone else, but I don't want to at all. I like you, only you, exactly as you are."
"You do?"
"Of course I do silly."
"Bella" I sighed, overjoyed and still feeling very conflicted.
She held my face between her hands and whispered "I promise. I mean, I really, really like you. So much."
"I like you more than I can possibly say. More than I've ever liked anyone." I said.
"Then please don't fight it. Let us be happy. We both want it, we both deserve it. Nobody else will do. We could be so happy together. If you let me I will try to make you so happy Edward. There's so much I want to share with you. It would make me so happy." She was stroking my hair now.
"I'd do anything to make you happy."
"Like not beating yourself up about kissing me?"
She won. I nodded and tried to reconcile myself to everything she had said. She was asking me to do exactly what I wanted to do, pleading with me, and had made a good argument about the flaws in the notions of feminine virtue I had always held.
"So, would you like me to kiss you, Edward?"
"More than anything."
She nuzzled my nose and placed soft kisses against my cheek, asking if it was ok and smiling that dazzling smile again as she moved closer towards my mouth. I wanted to tell her I love her so much, the words very nearly leapt out of my mouth
Finally her lips found mine and everything but her touch melted away. It felt so right, so perfect. I moved against her, delighting in the sensation, she smiled as we kissed, sensing me relax and surrender. I would do anything for her, be anyone for her, letting go of ideas about touching her being wrong didn't seem so difficult or immoral. It all seemed very simple.
We continued like this, connecting again and again in the small piece of heaven we had found in the safety underneath her comforter. The only two people in the universe lost in the wonder of each other.
"You're so wonderful Bella. The way you make me feel, I…"
"I feel the same way." She smiled, all the while placing kiss after exquisite kiss on my face. "So…"
"So?"
"Edward Cullen, will you be my boyfriend?"
"Yes Bella. Of course! Yes!" I whispered as waves of elation washed over me. There must have been some kind of clerical error in the order of the universe that led to such a momentous error in my favour, but I vowed to enjoy it while it lasted and try to follow Bella's request not to question it.
"Don't I need to ask your father?" I murmured between kisses.
She snorted and let out a loud giggle. Charlie roused downstairs at the sound and shifted in his recliner.
She made to kiss me again but I drew back. "Your dad's awake now." I told her looking glumly at the door, "do you need to leave again?"
"I need a shower and I should say goodnight to him too. I won't be long, boyfriend." She grinned.
I stood up and resumed my spot in the rocking chair as she wrangled with her hairbrush again, put on some music for me and made her way downstairs. Charlie noticed her blush suspiciously.
"Talking to Edward?" He asked. I froze for a second before realising he thought we'd been chatting on the phone.
"What?!" Bella asked, panicked.
"I heard you laughing with someone on the phone."
"Yeah... that was Edward." She said, skilfully avoiding lying.
"I'm going fishing tomorrow. So I'm going to turn in."
"Me too."
"Any big plans for the weekend I should know about then?" Charlie asked, ribbing Bella and enjoying her growing look of embarrassment.
"Maybe. I think I might have a date tomorrow."
"Just so long as it's tomorrow Bells. No sneaking out, remember? And stay out of the forest please."
"Yeah, yeah Dad. No sneaking out. And I won't go into the woods without anyone fully capable of taking out an angry grizzly faster than a crack shot park ranger, I promise." Nice sidestep, Bella. I am much faster than a park ranger. "I'll take my cell, fully charged and I'll leave a note ok?"
"Thank you. I'd appreciate that."
"Anyway, I'm gonna grab a shower and head to bed now. Have fun fishing tomorrow. Catch some good ones ok?"
"Sure hope so. Goodnight Bella."
"Night Dad."
Bella came back upstairs and smiled at me as she closed the door behind her. "Just going to grab my PJs" she mumbled, "Close your eyes a minute ok?"
I closed my eyes, smiling. Was she planning on letting me see her in her nightclothes?! It turns out she was! Gracious me.
After some scrambling about, rummaging in drawers, followed by a brave tug of war with some items of clothing and some strenuous shoving to close the drawer again, Bella paused in front of me.
"You can open your eyes now" she whispered "Sorry."
"Should I say goodnight now?" I asked
She shook her head "Stay. Please."
"Are you sure? I don't want to make you uncomfortable."
"Please don't go. I'll never be able to sleep if you go."
"You want me to stay while you sleep?!" I wasn't expecting this.
"Only if you want to."
"Of course I want to."
A reassured smile broke out across her face.
"Bella, would you mind, um, giving me something to read while you, er, you know, shower, please? I mean I could read Tooth and Claw again but either way I think it's better if I keep myself occupied"
She blushed deeply, realising she was going to be naked in the next room with every sound perfectly audible to me.
"Oh! Of course. Wait a second, what do you mean 'again'?"
"Well I finished it when you were downstairs before. Sorry. I tried to read it slowly."
"You... finished it?" She raised her eyebrows and I nodded. "Just how fast can you read?"
"Usually I can finish a book like that in about five minutes. It takes longer if it's not in English though."
Her jaw dropped for a moment and then she set her things down on the bed and strode determinedly over to the bookshelf. She pulled off a beaten up, well loved Austen anthology, the complete works of Shakespeare and Wuthering Heights.
"Enough?"
I nodded. There was enough for about an hour and a half here. Plenty for even a very long shower.
She handed me the books and gathered her things from the bed, then made for the bathroom, carefully closing the door behind her and locking the bathroom. I wonder if she thought I would burst in and ravage her, then wrestled to push the image and the lust it stirred from my mind, turning my attention to Macbeth to quell my lechery.
After the day's events Wuthering Heights, Romeo and Juliet, Shakespeare's love sonnets and all of the Austen held new fascination for me. Before I had finished with the Shakespeare, Bella shut off the water and within a few minutes she was back inside her room in a warm cascade of strawberry scent.
Her towel dried hair was trailing down her back, shades darker than usual and dripping softly on the carpet, and her skin was the most beautiful flushed pink from the hot water. She fidgeted in her oversized t-shirt and sweatpants for a moment before opting to dive under the covers and reached over for her hairbrush. I grimaced slightly, bracing myself for another ferocious attack on her hair, but then said "May I?"
She looked puzzled for a moment but shrugged and held out the hairbrush. She positioned herself so she was sat with the comforter wrapped around her front and scooted along the bed so that I could easily sit behind her and access her hair to brush it. All my misgivings about venturing near the vortex of ruin that was her bed hastily forgotten.
I started with my fingers, gently separating any obvious tangles and then working upwards the roots, where I ran my fingers through her hair and lightly massaged her scalp. She hummed in appreciation, so I continued for a while. After a few minutes Bella seemed very relaxed, so I started cautiously working the brush through each section until it was totally smooth. Once finished, I gently wrapped my arms around her and we stayed like that for a few moments, the dampness of her hair seeping through my shirt, though not unpleasantly.
"How's your burn?"
"It's fine. It doesn't even hurt any more."
"Please call me whenever you use the oven so that I can operate it for you safely."
She craned her neck around to look at me, "Huh?"
"Well if I'm here I can take stuff out of the oven for you." She nodded slowly, though I suspect she'll put up a fight if I try to interfere with her kitchen duties, banning her from both blades and flames as I would like to.
"Will you get bored tonight?" She whispered.
"Bored? Of you? Never." I assured her.
"But you don't sleep, right?"
"Well, I don't. But sometimes...sometimes I pretend to sleep." An embarrassing admission, but I hoped it might set her mind at ease a little.
"You do?" She shifted so she was lying on the bed and scooched over, patting the bed beside her. I laid down beside her, wrapping her in the comforter and placing my arms around her as I had in so many of my reveries. She lay next to me, her face just inches from mine and lent in to kiss me again.
"Do you want to pretend to sleep tonight then?"
I nodded.
"Do you dream when you're pretending to sleep?"
"Hmmm, sort of. I can hear people's dreams, well see them actually. Like earlier, Charlie was dreaming about catching salmon and a dumpster that was on fire was floating down the river."
"Wow...seeing dreams, that must be cool. I mean, I'm not surprised Dad dreams of fishing, his one true love."
"Bella, you should know, you are your father's one true love. I can hear it in his every thought."
"More than fishing?" She joked.
"A million times over."
"He's a really great Dad isn't he?"
"He is."
"So what do you pretend to dream about when you pretend to sleep, Edward?"
"About this" I answered and kissed her softly.
"And?"
"Only you."
She looked at me and her eyes shone "Oh." she whispered. We lay gazing at each other for a minute, caressing each other's faces, both equally fascinated with this new perspective on the other.
"Are you sleepy?"
"Not yet. Anyway, I should warn you, Charlie will pop his head in to check on me. Especially as he thinks I'm going to sneak out to some rager in the woods."
"I'll hide, don't worry. There's no way he'll see me."
"Good." She flashed me a brilliant smile.
Bella turned over to plug in her phone and turn out the string lights before settling back next to me. She lifted the covers and draped them over me as well.
"You'll catch cold from me. I don't want you to get sick."
"I'm boiling right now, don't worry." She said as she tugged on my shirt trying to pull me closer. I acquiesced, under her spell again rolled onto my side. She pressed against me and her hot little hand found it's way beneath my shirt on the small of my back.
"That's better. You were too far away."
"Bella, you are so beautiful, so, so beautiful" I whispered gazing at her
She flushed and crinkled her nose at me. "Edward, you're... I don't know, I don't have a way with words like you." She closed her eyes, scrunching them adorably "But I've never felt like this about anyone before."
I smoothed the furrow in her brow and kissed her again. "Neither have I. Only you."
"Really?" She said incredulously "not even in a hundred years?"
"I swear. Only you. I never knew it was possible to feel how I feel about you, or to feel how you've made me feel today. I never knew I could be this happy or this..." I managed to stop myself before I said 'in love', knowing it was wildly inappropriate to make a confession a mere six hours after we had entered the darkroom and begun whatever we were beginning then.
"Why didn't you ever tell me you wanted me Edward? Why didn't you ever kiss me before?"
"I never thought you could want me. I'm not human. I'm not good like you. I don't deserve any of this, but I don't want you to stop Bella."
She took my face between her hands and looked at me earnestly. "You deserve this every bit as much as I do." She was lying, but she looked like she believed it. I want to believe she believed it so very much.
"Don't question it. I want you. Just you, Edward. And not because I couldn't date a Mike Newton or Tyler Crowley if I really wanted to, but because you're better than the lot of them and I only want to do this with you. You make me so happy. I feel like my heart could burst with it." She peppered me with kisses to emphasise her point, causing a goofy grin to spread across my face. I laughed under my breath and stroked her cheek.
"You're everything," I whispered ardently and kissed her again.
Everything I knew told me I should not be here in her room and especially not in her bed. It didn't feel immoral or wrong in the moment, though I knew Carlisle would be disappointed and Charlie would want me dead for defiling his daughter like this.
I paused, resting my forehead against hers, trembling and taking raspy breaths, uttering her name again and again. Trying to find the will to stop, to control my lust and be the decent man I so wanted to be, waves of guilt, remorse, love, pleasure and confusion consumed me. I was losing myself.
A timely interruption allowed me to catch ahold of myself, as Charlie started to make for Bella's door to check on her. "Your father!" I hissed and darted down beside the bed. Had it really been only twenty minutes since she left the bathroom? I fumbled under the comforter until I found her hand, cursing his timing and our lost connection. Bella threw an arm across her face and breathed deeply feigning sleep as she grasped my hand beneath the covers. A shaft of light was thrown from the hallway across the bed and then disappeared as Charlie quietly closed the door. I heard him mumble under his breath "no sneaking out then" as he made the way to his room and shut the door, flopping down upon his bed.
The coast was clear so I stood up, Bella lifted the covers and against my better judgement I rejoined her beneath them. We spent the next few minutes quietly regarding each other, both hesitant after what had just passed. Slowly I reached out and found Bella's shoulder, stroking her back and wondering what on Earth was going to happen between then and the morning.
I nuzzled softly into her neck. Bella yawned and I realised it was well past time to let her get some rest. "Sleep?"
She kissed me once more, then hummed and moved beside me, finally letting me tuck the blankets between us so she wouldn't get too cold as she slept, though she still insisted on using my stony chest as the world's least comfortable pillow.
She yawned again and I mimicked her. She shot me a suspicious glance and smirked. "You really go all in then?"
"Sssssssh, I'm trying to sleep" I whispered, closing my eyes and slowly caressing her back.
"Goodnight Edward."
"Goodnight Bella. Sweet dreams, beautiful."
Through the night I replayed the day's events, reliving each kiss, each sacred touch and feeling a sense of peace I have never known fill me as Bella slept peacefully in my arms. After some hours she stirred, I thought she had awoken, but she must have been dreaming. I was well aware that she spoke in her sleep from my repulsive prying last spring, but had tried to expel all ill-gotten information from my head. In her sleep she murmured my name questioningly. I stroked her back softly and whispered "I'm right here." And she settled, snuggling against me.
I meditated for a few hours until the sky started to lighten and then became too curious to keep up my charade of sleep. I gazed down at Bella's sleeping form in wonder and puzzled over some of the trickier questions that lay ahead of me. Would she still want me upon waking? She had mentioned a date, where should I take her? Would she let me pay? How could I work to master my urges better? How can I conceal my unruly loins?
I'm embarrassed to say I also pondered what Bella might look like under her clothes for the briefest of moments before reigning myself in.
I wondered in a sudden fit of panic if she could have become pregnant when she touched my back. I had resolutely used all my power to block any and all information regarding marital congress, even during my medical degrees and obstetrics rotations. You have to remove your underthings, I think. I remembered something about topiaries and utopian tubes that I hadn't successfully blocked out in biology class, but that was all. I resolved to ask Reddit as soon as I could reach my cell phone, lest I become a father without even having realised it. I was more than ready to propose and make an honest woman of Bella, but would she accept?
Just before daybreak, Charlie's alarm went off and he hauled himself wearily out of bed. I figured I should prepare to hide if need be, so I carefully supported Bella's sleeping face and slipped a pillow beneath it. She whined a little in protest and drew closer to me making my chest swell with the notion that she knew I was there and wanted me to be, even as she slumbered.
Sure enough Charlie poked his head in before he headed out. Satisfied his girl was safe, he let his thoughts drift to trout in Big River, hoping he'd make a good catch and the weather would hold out. I crouched by the bed till I heard him head downstairs, grabbing my phone and stood up hoping to join my beloved again. She had shifted though, and was now curled in the foetal position diagonally across the narrow single bed. There was definitely not room for me to climb back in and I didn't want to disturb her, so settled for gazing at her as I sat against the wall beside her bed.
I heard the chief head to the basement and then load up the cruiser with his fishing gear as I finished up my Reddit post and anxiously awaited responses.
I had a message from Alice from the previous evening that read 'I am so happy for you.' And another from 4am suggesting three restaurants in Port Angeles and links to a list of local events. I briefly considered the poetry reading or a trip to the roller rink, then saw there was a used book fair being held in Port Angeles which seemed perfect.
I heard Alice's thoughts approaching and sighed in frustration. Did she really feel this was appropriate? She was singing the woeful soundtrack to Mama Mia in her head as memories of last night's 'MamaMia-thon' with the family replayed in her mind. Rosalie was smiling, Emmett was nodding along and even Carlisle was tapping his toe. I was glad they'd had fun and even gladder I'd missed it.
Another message came through. 'Breakfast things on the back doorstep, make sure she wears her boots, there'll be snow later. No, she can't get pregnant by touching your back. PLEASE read some books about sex education for all of our sakes, especially Bella's.' I was relieved and perhaps a tiny bit disappointed that I did not now have reason to propose so quickly. Still, it is for the best, she deserves far better than a life decided by a moment's indiscretion.
What was Alice up to? I hated to leave Bella, but I needed all the time possible if she expected me to be able to cook anything remotely edible for Bella. Knowing Alice, I imagined she'd chosen something overly elaborate and altogether too luxurious. I darted downstairs silently and grabbed the bag from the back step. Inside there was a change of clothes for me, a bottle of yellow liquid, a jar of orange something or other and some flaky brown things. I grabbed a plate and glass for Bella , not wanting to leave her again before she woke.
There was a can of pepper spray on the kitchen table and a note from Charlie that read 'Have fun, text me and please take this. I worry. Love, Dad xxx'. I didn't know if Bella would need a knife and fork so took one for the brown things just in case. I couldn't find a tray and longed to be back upstairs even though I'd been gone mere seconds so abandoned the search and headed back.
I decided to put the bottle outside to chill, opening the window as little as possible and shutting it in under a second. The breeze made Bella snuggle into her comforter further though and I worried she was cold. After so many hours I'd warmed to the ambient temperature of the house, but I would still feel cool to the touch to her.
I looked into the bag again confounded by the contents. Well, not my clothes, but the brown flakies and the orange stuff. I tentatively opened the small jar- why was nothing labelled? Where had Alice procured these foodstuffs? Did they meet FDA requirements?
The jar smelled sweet and the stuff inside was thick and sticky looking. I decided to ask Jeeves, he was always good in a fix. I searched brown food, then brown breakfast food, then flaky brown breakfast food, but the number of results was overwhelming and most of the results were recipes. I considered posting a picture on r/nostupidquestions when Alice texted again 'croissants and apricot jam. The jam is safe, I bought it in Paris, I just put a little in the smaller jar because it looked cuter.'
'Why did you buy jam?'
'Because Bella likes it.'
'Thank you. That's really kind. Will she need a fork?'
'No, just a butter knife. She's going to love the book fair xoxo'
I asked Jeeves what a butter knife was and worried that the handle didn't look quite the same as the ones I had brought from Bella's kitchen.
Bella stretched her arm out and her fingers hung over the edge of the bed. I decided to position myself under them so they were cushioned by my hair. After a few minutes her fingers wiggled a little and she mumbled 'fluff' which brought a wide smile to my face.
As the sun rose I ran down my phone battery watching videos silently with the subtitles on about how to cook. It looks ever so easy, I am sure I will be a masterchef before the next weekend arrives! My phone battery gave out, so I have been journaling since, wanting to make a thorough document of every detail while it is still fresh in my mind.
I hope Bella enjoys today. I hope she isn't embarrassed about last night. I hope she doesn't regret anything or realise she doesn't want me to be her boyfriend. I hope I can be a good boyfriend. I shall try very hard to be. It is an exciting but daunting challenge. I hope I can make her happy. I hope I can show her how much I love her and maybe even tell her one day. I do not know why or how this has happened, but I am so grateful.
A/N: Reviewers get seven minutes in heaven in the darkroom with Edward
Happy Valentine's Day 3 3 3
Our boy finallly got a kiss! I'm every bit as surprised as you are that he didn't need to go home and change his pants immediately!
From here on out get used to some more LuStFuL cOnTeNt readers! As the title suggests the long and rocky road to Edward giving up his right to attend the annual virginity convention in the Bahamas has begun! There will be comedy, romance, heartache and hilarity. Apologies for any and all emotional whiplash readers may experience from Edward's mood swings.
If you made it this far, just wow. You've read 175 chapters of I don't even know what tomfoolery. Thanks for sticking with me all this time. I love you and love reading your reviews more than I can say. You're the best!
Thanks a million to my wonderful betas itsthatkindofanight and wh1teow1. Please show some love and read Moirai, a reimagining of Twilight for the new decade!