Instead of angels trumpeting the fact that Bella kissed a 108 year old, as I had imagined in my reveries, Jessica Stanley had been subbed in, presumably arriving at school early with a megaphone to disseminate some kind of school wide announcement about Bella and I being spotted in Port Angeles, consequently creating a veritable frenzy of gossip and fuss today. Like sharks scenting blood in the water, teenagers were circling the edges of the parking lot before I even managed to make my way inside.

"Wow, they're so…curious" said Jasper

"They're not the only ones" Alice groused. I had remained mostly absent and staunchly taciturn on my brief visits home since Thursday evening. I do not wish to share my news with my family and especially not in detail. Privacy is an impossibility, I suppose. Alice's behaviour as Bella slept on Friday was thoughtful and kind, but is categorical proof that nothing that ever occurs in my life shall be mine and mine alone. Is it childish to want to set my own terms about who knows my thoughts, feelings and actions? Does it matter that Alice knew Bella would kiss me before I did? Or that Jasper knows my heart better than Bella is ever likely to? It saddens me, which is pointless, but it does, still.

I figured since I'm going to hell anyway I might as well do it thoroughly and waved enthusiastically at my beloved across the parking lot when nobody was looking, not even Bella. After such a wanton display I felt all rumours should have been settled, but I was most surprised to discover that this did not prove to be the case.

As I made my way through the dreary corridors, I was assaulted by stares, whispered innuendo and lurid imagined scenes of myself and Bella in all manner of compromising positions in the back of my Volvo. Was this what the youth of Forks got up to late at night on squeaky leatherette back seats to steam up the windows of their lightly used three door cars? I shudder to think. Where was the romance? Everything looked like some kind of deeply unsatisfying, fumbled, sweaty contortionist act, that held little to no promise of any kind of meaningful satisfaction or soul connection. Animalistic, blurry visions of the two of us floated through the minds of the curious student population, who shuffled damply across the worn linoleum. Quite frankly they frightened me.

Not only do I have no intention of putting Bella in mortal peril by manhandling her in such an unseemly and aggressive fashion, but I am seriously concerned about what Bella's expectations of me may be, having had these unwelcome images thrust into my consciousness.

I just want to be with her, hold her hand, kiss her and feel close to her. But what does she want? What does she expect from me in the coming weeks and (hopefully) months together?

At lunchtime she sought me out and noticed I looked a little out of sorts. I couldn't meet her gaze, which caused her to quickly lose her sunny affect and frown in concern as she moved to sit by me.

"Hey. Talk to me. What's wrong? What are you thinking?"

"I'm not sure what to say."

"Did I do something to upset you? I'm sorry."

"No, you didn't do anything wrong. I just….Bella, what do you expect from me?"

"Um….to be my friend and my boyfriend."

"What does that involve? I mean, I'm not sure I can give you what you want."

"What? Of course you can. Did you…did you change you mind about me?"

"No! No…I just wonder what…everyone is imagining us doing things."

"Oh. I see. Well, I mean, we don't have to kiss at school if you don't want to. Would you rather keep it a secret?"

"I don't want to keep things secret especially, but I…shouldn't this all be private?"

"Shouldn't what be private?"

"The kissing and touching and things."

"Sure, I don't really want to make a public display of anything, I don't think that's me and it definitely isn't you either. We make the rules, no matter what Jessica says or what other people think we're doing."

"But everyone seems to have an opinion and they're all imagining…very ungentlemanly things about me."

"Oh!"

"It doesn't feel like any of it is just ours. Does that make sense? Jessica has seen to it that secrecy is no longer an option. Not to mention Alice and Jasper. It's like out lives are public property "

"I see. I didn't realise it would be like this today. That sounds really hard for you Edward. I'm sorry. You really don't get any privacy at all, do you?"

I glanced over at my siblings, who had been mentally bombarding me with questions, castigations, whooping and jeers without pause since I had returned to drive them to school this morning. I am sure they did not realise that each one of them was simultaneously hollering mentally at me at top volume, and they at least did me the courtesy of looking elsewhere during their school lunch performance. It is not malicious, even Rosalie is primarily concerned for the coven's welfare and secondarily for Bella's survival, I cannot begrudge her those concerns, for I certainly share them.

"I think we just have to endure it. Sorry."

"Is there something I can say? To stop the rumours or stop them being, so….dirty?"

I chanced a quick look at her and Bella was blushing deeply, she looked so pretty, but a deep crease was crumpling her forehead. She looked at me with such tenderness and concern. Bella slid towards me slightly and hooked her little finger into my palm under the cafeteria table.

"Is this ok?"

I gave a small nod.

"Edward, can you tell me what have they been thinking?"

"I can't, it's all too…"

"Too explicit?"

I contemplated the gouges in the formica tabletop and nodded again.

"They all seem to think I've….we've…in my car…everyone seems to have the same idea. Is that what you expect as well?"

"W..What? In your car?! No. I mean…well…I know you don't want to… do that stuff. I know. it's ok. Don't worry about it. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. Ever. OK?"

"But what if they talk, I mean, they think…what about your virtue? I should defend your honour and say something, but I don't know what to say, because they're not saying these things aloud."

"I don't want you to. I'm not worried what they think, only what you think, ok?"

"You have to know, I would never treat you so carelessly. It's not like that for me. It's…you're…."

She covertly slipped the rest of her palm into my hand and gave my hand a little squeeze. I inhaled deeply, getting a little drunk on her scent and gathering my courage, "It's spiritual, Bella."

Her eyebrows shot up and a soft smile spread across her face. Sunshine.

"Well now we have a problem."

"We do?"

"Yeah, now I really want to kiss you." She let out a little breathy giggle, and nudged my shoulder with her own. "My boyfriend says the sweetest things."

I smiled despite myself, "He does?"

"Yeah."

I met her gaze and whispered, "He means them."

"After school, shall we go somewhere away from everyone. Where it's just us." I nodded and her smile widened. I gave her a little smile of my own, "I'd like that. Thank you Bella."

We sat in a peaceable silence for a few more minutes until the lunch bell rang. Bella pulled out a scrap of paper out of her book bag and scribbled on it, pushing it onto my palm just before she left the table with a blush spreading across her cheeks and down her neck as she hurried out of the cafeteria.

[Note reads: I'm going to kiss you silly, Edward Cullen x]

A/N: Reviewers get to kiss Edward silly.

Thank you to my wonderful readers and the two best betas I could ask for: itsthatkindofanight & and wh1teow1 please show some love and read Moirai, a reimagining of Twilight for the new decade!