It's Saturday, so Charlie went fishing and Bella was tired after yesterday, so we got to spend a blissful day alone in her house relaxing. It was absolutely heavenly.
She woke up at around eight and I showered her with kisses while she squealed with delight. She took a shower and I cooked her pop tarts for her, bringing them upstairs with some juice, so we could continue cuddling in bed. We listened to music and kissed a great deal. It was outstanding! Bella is excellent at kissing. I think I am as well. She sighs happily a lot and when nobody is around like this morning, she moans! I like it very much indeed.
Bella decided it was time to carefully try and move things between us a little closer. The results were spectacular!
She was kissing me and breathing hard with excitement, clutching at my shirt, when she asked "Can I touch your back?" I nodded.
I didn't realise exactly what she meant at first, as she always touches my back when we hug, but she slowly slipped her hands under my shirt as we continued to kiss. When she had last tried this I had been very overwhelmed, so she proceeded with great caution, giving me time to adjust.
"Is this ok Edward?"
I nodded, the warmth of her hands felt amazing against my skin and was awakening all sorts of desires within me. I had fed just two days before though, and at Esme's insistence had stuck meticulously to a routine of milking my venom to try and reduce the risk to Bella, so it was a good time to try new things.
She kept her hands steady and soft, so as not to over stimulate me. We gradually both became increasingly passionate in our kisses and touches though. She looked up at me through her lashes and bit her lip, then whispered "You feel so good Edward."
I kissed down Bella's neck, relishing the warm thrum of her pulse and running my lips along her collar bone. She moaned in pleasure and gripped me a little tighter, I repeated the action and she whispered my name.
"Edward, how in control are you right now?"
I paused and collected myself. "Very. Why?"
"Close your eyes a moment. I'm not going to touch you. Don't panic."
I complied and heard the rustle of fabric and she got under the comforter.
"Ok, you can open your eyes now."
Bella was underneath the covers, but her t-shirt was on top of them. I gasped.
"Still ok?"
I nodded, and she smiled, in her eyes I saw mine reflected, wide with desire.
"Um…You can look if you want to… and you can touch me, I'd like you to, but only if you want to. And I don't want it to be too much… So maybe, if you want to, just put your hand over my hand and I'll keep my hand between, ok?"
I nodded and shifted so that I could get under the comforter too. Keeping my eyes fixed on hers the entire time. I was nervous but wanted to explore her softness more than I can possibly describe. I wanted desperately to look, but knew I would climax immediately if I did.
She put her hand in my palm, so that mostly I was touching the back of her hand and hers was against her skin, shielding me from what would undoubtedly be an entirely overwhelming sensation. She guided our hands to her collar bone and rest her forehead against mine, giving me small soft kisses now and again and gazing into my eyes. Our hands travelled her neck and shoulders for a while, warm and soft as always and so delicate.
After giving me time to adjust Bella started to trace her hand lower down, resting over her heart. I slipped my fingers between hers for a moment and inhaled sharply at the intensity of the sensation. This was without doubt the most intimate and erotic moment I have ever experienced.
Our hands rested above her quavering heart for some minutes and I kissed her tentatively. "Bella. I..." biting back 'I love you', I settled on "you're perfect. So perfect. So beautiful. There are no words."
She smiled and drew her hand slowly out from underneath mine and then pressed my palm against her sternum.
"I feel so much for you Edward. You make my heart race. See?"
She kissed me again and her heart did indeed race, fluttering against my palm like a trapped bird. She is so human, so filled with wonder and life and beauty. Every moment with her I am awed all over again. I shall never get used to the marvel of her.
I kissed her again and her heart stuttered once more.
"How are you feeling?"
"Very excited" I blurted out. Idiot!
She smiled and crinkled her nose adorably, then asked if I wanted to carry on or was feeling overwhelmed.
"Carry on. " I blurted out immediately, "Just... just slowly ok?"
"Anything. There's no rush."
She slipped her hand under mine again and moved back to her collar bone, then traced the whole way down to her belly. She repeated the action a few times and I slipped my fingers between hers once again, feeling the pounding of her heart and the flux of her breath, my fingertips tingling against her skin. It was divine.
"You are so soft." I gasped, "Heaven."
She smiled again and led our hands around her belly, exploring the sensations together. Then to her side, along the gentle curve of her hip and dip of her waist where she let my hand rest again.
She was blushing deeply and whispered "Your hands feel amazing. I love how you feel on me." Her gaze was so intense and her voice so husky that I almost came undone right then.
I waited a few minutes to adjust, trying to calm my raging desire, not wanting to put Bella at increased risk, but not wanting to stop either. Everything faded into nothingness except Bella, her creamy smooth skin, her scent, her pounding heart and her rapt gaze.
I traced her side slowly and she sighed as my trembling fingers explored her body, creeping around to her back and finding the subtle arch of her spine and dip at the small of her back. She stretched responsively to my touch, her head rolling back and a low yearning moan on her lips.
She was immaculate. She is. Always. My Bella.
I spread my fingers and ran my hand flat across the span on her back, up to the nape of her neck and into the tangle of her hair, fanned out across the pillow like a halo. I kissed her deeply and she melted into me, her bare body making contact with my chest. Perfection.
"Tell me how you feel." She whispered.
"I can't. There are no words."
"Good?"
"So good." I nodded and kissed her again.
After exploring every inch of her back, the notch of her spine, the shallow hollows of her ribs, and her fragile shoulder blades I returned my hand to hers, resting upon her belly, signalling that we could continue if she wanted to. She very much sounded like she wanted to. It is the most incredible sound.
Her heart skipped a little as she met my gaze and very, very slowly began to move her hand over her ribs and up across her breast. Our foreheads resting upon each other's, our breaths were shuddering as we kept our gaze locked, whispering each other's names.
Her skin is velvet, the softest thing I have ever touched, her heat burning through me. At the first brush of my fingers, my breath hitched and my mouth flooded. My eyelids drooped shut as I was lost in the sensation. I swallowed back the venom and locked my jaw, pausing our hands momentarily before opening my eyes again to see the supernal vision before me.
Bella bit her lip and moved our hands once again over the swell of her breast. Her skin tightened in response and I wanted more than I can possibly convey to take her into my mouth and explore her there with my tongue. Every inch of me was aching to be even closer to her, inside her.
"I want you. I want you so much."
"I want you too. Always. It never stops." She whispered.
I slid my fingers between hers, unable to resist the draw of her body, laid out in pure desire before me. I gasped and almost came undone instantly upon meeting her softness. It is my favourite thing. I never knew.
She moved our hands slow and gentle across her breast, tracing its shape and brushed my thumb across its peak. She let out a high moan, which pushed her into me. I did it again.
She was breathing heavily then, a thin film of sweat across her flushed cheeks and her intoxicating scent thick between us as her breath washed over me.
"Fuck." She whispered. I nodded, speechless.
I could feel my own release hurtling inescapably towards me as she took her hand away and stroked my hair, leaving nothing between my hand and her. I thought I might drown.
I buried my face in the pillows and let out a strangled groan. "Bella. Bella...I'm..."
"I want you to." She breathed.
That was all it took. A loud growl escaped me and I sank my teeth into my bicep, unable to entirely stop the urge to bite as crashing waves of ecstasy swallowed me entirely, dragging me down in the undertow. I felt like my soul was unlocked, back in my chest and burning, bright and hot, tangled with Bella's. Inextricably. Eternally.
Quakes travelled from my scalp to my toes again and again. Electric. Lightning striking in ceaseless waves. I felt totally weak. I felt human. Anything I had ever experienced before was totally incomparable.
As I came around to my senses I heard Bella whispering "Edward, my Edward. My everything." She was smiling with such adoration in her eyes.
I looked at her. I couldn't speak and was shaking uncontrollably. I tried to speak but choked on the words.
"Ssssssh. I'm fine baby. Relax." She ran her nails across my scalp, sending aftershocks rocketing through me.
Bella wrapped the comforter around her torso and pulled my head to rest on her bare chest and hid the ugly tear in my arm in shame. I felt...sleepy? I curled up snuggled into her. I felt I had done something terribly wrong, but Bella just hummed to the CD, and shushed me, rubbing my back and stroking my hair. I felt so adored.
I bathed and used Bella's strawberry shampoo. I like smelling like her. It helped me feel a bit less animal about my behaviour.
We curled up again in her bed and stayed like that for a long, long time. Embracing, kissing, whispering ardent promises of devotion to each other. It was past noon when we got up. She showered and she ate a sandwich, then we lay in bed more and talked, listened to Bella's favourite songs as she told me why she liked them so. It was the perfect day, every moment of daylight spent together, just us. We kissed and read, talked and kissed again, the only two people in the world, until the sun went down.
It was so bittersweet leaving her. I called her before I had even finished kissing her goodbye and walked home the human way, on the roads, chatting and laughing with her while she cooked and promising to come back to her soon. Bella is staying the night so that we can gather cabin materials tomorrow and Monday, so she wanted to spend a little time with her father first. I wish I hadn't had to leave her at all.
While Bella ate and watched TV with Charlie I arrived home to prepare my room for Bella's arrival in two hours. I was skipping in the garden, humming and putting daisies in my hair when I heard Esme's thoughts. "Did you have a nice day Edward?"
I froze and looked up. She and Jasper were looking through the living room window. His mouth was agape. I squeaked and ran off into the woods.
I guess my secret's out then.
A/N: Reviewers get to have Edward's fingers slip between theirs.
Phew- is it hot in here? I do hope you think so! Please, please, please review- I'm so nervous about writing citrus for this Edward, as I know a lot of readers are expecting comedy sex, but Edward is way too vulnerable to be there yet and so am I. I'd appreciate your honest feedback xxx
Thank you to my wonderful readers and the two best betas I could ask for: itsthatkindofanight & and wh1teow1 please show some love and read Moirai, a reimagining of Twilight for the new decade!