Earlier Bella and I were enjoying a rare hour alone in my house, I was putting on an extra shirt to make sure Bella didn't get too cold during the intensive snuggle-a-thon I had planned, and suddenly inspiration struck. I pulled the brown t-shirt half off, so the collar was resting on my hairline and threw it back to cover my hair, tucking it behind my ears like long, dark hair. I enacted my plan.

"Oooh I'm Bella I'm Bella doofus. I can make lasagna. And I love my red truck

I'm very nice! I'm Bella!"

I jutted my chest out a little and walked to and fro around the house, from my bedroom down to the kitchen through the living room. Having repeated this three times I successfully captured Bella's attention.

She slowly closed her book and looked at me from the couch. "Edward...Edward what are you doing?" She seemed reluctant to get involved and threw me a sceptical look.

"I'm not Edward! I'm Bella! Oooooh."

"Ok then Bella. Who am I then?" She said slowly.

"You're Edward, dingus!"

"Ahhhh I see." She said, smirking a little.

"I'm Bella. I'm cold!" then had a brainwave and added,"Brrrrr."

She glanced at the roaring fire in the wood stove, then stood up, saying "Oh dear! Oh no! Bella! Oh no! Let me get you twelve blankets real quick".

"Yessss!" I quietly hissed to myself. She was playing along!

"Lie down Bella, you must be sleepy!"

I feigned a very convincing yawn and said "I am so sleepy Edward! But I have to make lasagna for Charlie!"

"I'll buy Charlie a pizza. Money is no object! Lie down, you need some sleep." She replied.

My plan was going swimmingly. After a more fake yawns, right in front of Bella so she could see with her bad non-vampire eyesight, I laid down on the couch, grinning.

"Oh Edward, you're so kind! And handsome!"

"Am I now?"

"Oh yes! And your Volvo is simply breathtaking."

"It is?" Why was she surprised? Of course my Volvo is breathtaking, not to the degree of the Vanquish, of course, which is why I rarely drive that beauty; I fear for the breathlessness of the town's population when I drive the Vanquish. An asthmatic might perish at the very sight of it.

"Yes, it has impressive road handling and an unparalleled safety record. You are also an excellent driver. The very best handsome Edward." I cooed at Bella.

"Er...Bella, you say the nicest things!" She muttered. She was trying, but I am clearly the better actor of the two of us. Nevertheless as I was the only audience member to Bella's performance I found it indescribably wonderful. Five stars.

"I know. Because I'm Bella and I am very nice. And I smell lovely. Sniff!" I indicated the t-shirt atop my head and sort of waved it about a little bit like hair.

She sniffed me and cried "Oh Bella! You smell irresistible!" Then in a sudden show of thespian flare she growled and nipped at my ear. It made me squeak and I scrunched up my shoulders, fearing a tickling.

"Edward! You are so tall!" I continued.

"Bella…...?" Again startled by an obviously impressive statement of fact. Dear Bella's eyes must really be poor because she is not a vampire. She doesn't need glasses, but still, she had missed this detail about me.

"Six foot two! Oh my!" I continued.

"Yes. That is true! And you are so fragile little Bella! Let me wrap you up." She was catching on now.

I laid down like a plank, stiff with my arms by my sides, grinning and Bella made what she calls a Bellito (a portmanteau of Bella and burrito) with the blankets. There were not the previously promised twelve blankets sadly, but the five she used were very satisfactory indeed. I purred loudly and grinned, only visible from the eyes up now.

"Thank you Edward. You always protect me because you are so handsome."

"Um…..?! Yes, I do. Pretty Bella."

"My hair smells like strawberries." I said.

"It does!" She sniffed me again and I squeaked a lot. This went on for some minutes.

She asked in her best impression of me, "Are you warm enough my angel?"

"Ummmm" I wiggled my feet, which were poking out of the end of the blankets. After all I am very tall.

"Oh no! Oh dear! Oh dear! Let me get you some nice warm socks."

"Soft ones?" I broke character for a moment.

"Yes Bella, soft ones."

"Yesssssss" I hissed as Bella hunted about upstairs for a moment before returning with some fluffy purple bed socks. Thank you Alice!. Bella put them on my feet and I purred again.

She rearranged the blankets, tucking my feet in and asked "Bella? Can I have a cuddle please?"

"Of course Edward! I love cuddles!" This was going from strength to strength!

She proceeded to climb onto the Bellito finding her balance atop it after an adorably wobbly struggle. She stroked my hair, then nuzzled his neck.

My voice was high pitched but quiet, a reverent squeak, as I told her "I have never been this happy! It is outstanding!"

"Awww, anything for you, my little Bella." She said and gave me soft kisses as I purred loudly. "Now go to sleep Bella!"

"Yes! I am asleep now." I said and made soft fake snores.

"I do not snore!"

"Of course you don't Edward, because you are so tall, also you don't really sleep."

She batted me on the chest and snuggled in for a nap as well, sneaking her fingers under the brown t-shirt still atop my head and whispering "Fluff." as she drifted off.

Commenters get to sniff Edward's hair.

A/N: Thanks so much for your reviews and messages, they make my day better!

For N: I hope you are resting and regaining your strength, you deserve ALL the fluffy purple bed socks xoxoxo