AN: Hi beautiful people! Thank you for all your kind words on this story! It truly means so much and I'm glad you all are liking it :) Here is another quick update! I think we'll be in Vermont for at least one more chapter xx
It's about three in the afternoon when lounging in the sun has finally gotten boring for everyone. Truthfully, they are more than content to just sit in each other's presence, but when Karen finally speaks up, stating that she needs to do something or else she's going to fall asleep, they all agree.
Olivia climbs off of Fitz's lap and stretches her limbs, arching her back and twisting side to side before reaching her hand out and helping him up. She teases him about being an old man as he slowly gets to his feet, but once he's up, he kisses her abruptly to silence her. Of course, Fitz is Fitz, and he can't stop at just one kiss.
So, he lets himself revel in the feeling of her lips against his as he kisses her and kisses her, and just when his hands start roaming low on her waist, he hears a voice pulling them back to the present–reminding them where they are.
"Get a room, you two!" Karen calls from across the yard where she's helping Kayla fold up their blanket.
Liv pulls aways and turns around to face the girls again, settling her back against Fitz's chest and laughing. "Oh, you're one to talk, missy!"
"Hey! I was in a room!" Karen retorts, picking up the folded blanket and crossing the yard to plop it onto the outdoor coffee table.
"Hmm, still! You have not a leg to stand on in this argument, ma'am," Liv sasses back, shaking her head playfully at her.
Fitz's hands rest low on Olivia's belly, kissing the top of her head and swaying as they stand together, and all of the sudden he realizes that he's not sure what they are talking about. Somehow, he's out of the loop. "Wait, what?"
"Ha! Kare, you wanna tell your dad what we're talking about?" She teases, looking between her partner and his daughter.
Karen pales and blushes at the same time. "Nope! I'm good!"
"I'm so confused. What's going on?" Fitz chuckles.
"Oh, it's nothing really. I just walked in on little Miss Hypocrite over there making out with her sweet girlfriend, mere minutes after greeting them today," Liv grins, knowing she can tease Karen like this because it's all good-natured. As much as she poked fun earlier at giving Fitz a heart attack, she knows that he won't really be upset. He's not a prude. He's just…traditional.
"Oh, geez," Fitz grimaces–because he can imagine how awkward that must have been for Olivia and for Kayla and Karen simultaneously–but then he smiles lightheartedly. "Come on, Kare! I thought I raised you better than that."
Karen tosses her hair over her shoulder, intertwining her fingers with her girlfriend's and pecking her cheek before facing her father once again. There's a pause, then she smiles sneakily. "Dad, I mean this with all due respect, that's exactly how you raised me."
There's silence as they all look at each other. A beat. Then, everyone bursts out in laughter. It should offend him, her suggesting that she's picked up some of his more philandering qualities, but the way she says it, full of love and amusement, it doesn't have the sting of an insult, and they all can't help but laugh.
"Okay, that's enough from you today," Fitz adds, laughing heartily. "Can't believe…my own flesh and blood…despicable."
"Don't blame me! You brought that upon yourself, Pop," Karen says.
He scoffs. "By simply kissing my gorgeous woman?"
"Okay, okay! Come on, you all," Liv says through giggles, motioning toward the expansive sliding glass door of the house. "I want to go for a walk. Anyone that wants to come, go get ready–I'm leaving in five."
She saunters off toward their bedroom, and the rest of the crew dutifully follows along, heading to their respective rooms to change into athletic loungewear suitable for a walk.
It takes her longer than her ambitious five-minute threat because wrestling her bump into her cream-colored shorts jumpsuit is quite a feat. Once it's on though, she loves how the ribbed, fitted fabric hugs her belly and hips, the pants hugging her ass nicely before stopping mid-thigh. She throws on one of Fitz's flannel button-ups over her exposed shoulders and rolls up the sleeves.
"Goddamn, Livvie," Fitz whistles through his teeth as he rounds the corner into their colossal walk-in closet, gawking at the sight of her.
He's never been one to overly assess her clothing choices, only really going as far as to compliment her when she looks nice, but he has noticed a shift in her wardrobe during this pregnancy. She's still sophisticated and refined, but more willing to wear linen and spandex and cotton and all of those fabrics that make her body feel nice and comfortable.
"You like it?" She asks, twirling around, showing him her prominent, round tummy and her cleavage peeking through at the top of the tank top. She even goes as far as lifting up his flannel and wiggling her butt at him as he groans.
"Mmm… I can't tell if you're the cutest thing in the world, or the sexiest, or both," he says, slinking up toward her and looking her up and down suggestively. "Remind me why we invited the kids up here?"
"Because…" Liv smiles at him, hands coming up to rest against his chest. "You were the one with the idea and the one that wanted to meet Kayla before…"
"Shhh…fine, just let me kiss you, woman," Fitz murmurs, cupping her jaw and bringing their lips together in a sweet kiss. It starts sweet, but she can feel the insistence of his mouth and his intentions to take it further. His other hand is busy, tracing every inch of her body, loving that he can practically feel her skin through this workout outfit she has on.
But when he squeezes her ass, she pulls back and scolds him playfully. "Nope, we are going on a walk. Don't think you can tempt me out of it, mister."
"Ugh–you're killing me…" Fitz laughs, throwing his head back dramatically before trying one more time. "I can think of a more fun way we can exercise though…"
And she guffaws at his constant horniness, pushing him away and moving to put her socks and tennis shoes on. "Later, baby. Trust me–I'm not saying no to that. I'm just saying…later."
"Okay, beautiful…I just can't help it when you look all gorgeous like that, full of my baby."
He crosses the room, kissing the top of her head as he passes where she's sitting on the settee in their closet and goes to retrieve his own change of clothes–opting for black gym shorts and a fitted gray tee himself.
She whistles as she watches him pull off his shirt, ogling his naked chest and abdomen as he had done to her. He scoffs, disbelieving of her cheekiness, but as soon as he tries to make his way back to scoop her up again, she giggles and trots out of their bedroom to find the girls.
However, when she descends the stairs into the living room, she finds only one of them there–Kayla–rummaging swiftly through the cupboards in the kitchen.
"Kare still getting ready?" Liv asks.
"Oh!" Kayla squeaks and jumps, obviously surprised to hear Olivia sneak up behind her. "Um–sorry, I was just looking for a cup for some water."
"Over here," Olivia motions, wandering over to the other end of the kitchen and fetching a glass for her. She fills it up and hands it to the younger girl.
"Thanks. Karen's actually laying down. Uh–she started having a migraine aura as soon as we came inside. I'm…I'm just going to take this to her real quick so she can take her medicine…" Kayla explains as she's already heading toward Karen's room, rushing almost frantically, the panicked expression on her face evident.
"Oh, of course, go, go," Liv encourages, following behind Kayla just to make sure Karen is alright.
When they get to the room, the curtains are drawn, and the room is dark, a compress over her eyes. Liv watches as Kayla hurries to the edge of the bed and sits down next to Karen's unmoving form. She fishes the pills out from the bottle–it's clear she knows the dose and that she's done this before.
"Baby," Kayla whispers, helping Karen up by the shoulders. "Here—water…pills… Good."
Karen groans, already feeling the swirling, nauseating feeling of the impending migraine, but swallows her meds before settling back down in the plush bed. Kayla bends down and kisses her forehead, brushing the loose hairs back and ensuring the compress is resting over her eyes securely.
"What's goin' on down here–" Fitz asks as he approaches Liv standing in the doorway to Karen's room. "Oh, shit. Is everything okay?"
"Migraine," Liv responds quietly, nudging her chin in the direction of the two women.
"I'm fine," Karen calls, still motionless in bed. Fitz and Liv laugh because that's such a Karen response, but Kayla doesn't. She's still serious, holding her hand.
"You are not fine. You looked all shades of pale three seconds ago, like you were about to fucking pass out."
"Baby, really. I know that part is scary–it always scares you–but I've got my meds now and everything will be better in like an hour, I promise."
"I don't like it…I don't like seeing you like that," Kayla whispers.
"Shh…love. I'm okay. Just need to rest. It's not like I'm dying or anything…" Karen tries to joke.
"Would you just let me worry about you for a second?" Kayla snaps, and Olivia flashes a look at Fitz.
Sure, his migraines are a result of post-traumatic brain injury due to a gunshot wound to the head, and his daughter's are hereditary, passed along through her mother's side, but the similarities laid out before them are striking. The Grants, never taking their own medical care seriously, and the girlfriends, fussing and worrying tirelessly about the people they love.
Liv can see Fitz's eyes warm then dampen as he takes in the sight in front of him—watching his little girl being comforted and cared for. Then Liv, who is all too familiar with being on Kayla's side of things, enters the room. Walking up behind Kayla, she settles a hand on her shoulder.
"Hey," Liv mutters softly. "You need a second?"
Kayla nods and stands before shuffling past Fitz in the doorway and out of the room without another word.
Liv glances over at him, communicating so much without saying anything, then she peers back down at Karen. "You good if your dad stays with you for a little bit, Kare?"
"Yeah…tell her to take her phone. I'll call her when I'm awake," she utters, her voice a little hazy with the mounting pain and pressure in her head. Liv rises to her feet, turning to head out the door when she hears Karen again. "Will you tell her I'm sorry?"
Smiling, Olivia nods and replies, "Sure, sweet girl. Rest up."
When she gets to Fitz, she kisses his cheek and tells him to keep her posted on how Karen's doing and that she'll be back with Kayla in a little bit.
Stupid. She's being so stupid on this trip, and dramatic, letting her emotions take over, letting them consume her to the point of this…having to flee the house. She'd ended up on the back porch because that's really the only area of the house she knows well enough to feel comfortable in by herself.
It's been a lot today, full of anxiety and, sure, that's normal for her on a regular day, but even Lexapro isn't helping her much at this point. Now she's here, with shaky hands, having just almost lost her shit in front of Olivia Pope and Fitzgerald Grant. It's ridiculous.
The tears almost come flooding out of her eyes when she hears the sliding door opening to her left, and she watches as Olivia comes to sit next to her on the outdoor couch, placing Kayla's sneakers on the table in front of them.
"Here's your phone," Liv says, quietly. "She said she'll call when she's up. I thought maybe…maybe you and I could get out of the house for a bit and go for that walk. Fitz is with her, but I'll understand if you don't want to leave." The tone of her voice is sympathetic but not patronizing, and Kayla doesn't think she's ever been so grateful for anything ever.
"Um–sorry. I… I shouldn't have been so crazy back there."
"Crazy? What are you talking about?" Liv asks, brows furrowing.
"I lost my cool a little. She—I don't know—she makes me infuriated sometimes because she doesn't tell me about these things until she's literally one second away from something really scary, and then she just tries to laugh it off like it was nothing," Kayla says as she slumps over and rests her head in her hands. "But…I just let it get to me. I shouldn't have…"
Liv smiles sadly at her and rests a hand against Kayla's back. "You wanna know what I saw?"
"Yeah? What?"
"I didn't see anyone who was crazy or making a big deal out of nothing. I saw someone who was worried for the person they love. Who just loves them so damn much. Who wants them to understand just how much she loves them and how their pain affects her so deeply… Does that sound about right?"
Kayla takes a shaky breath and sniffles. She can't believe she had been transparent like that.
"C'mon. Put your shoes on, and let's go."
The gravel road along the east side of the property is Liv's favorite to walk during the summertime because the fruit trees shade the path in the afternoon and the combined smell of their blossoms and the protection from the sun provide the perfect, calming ambiance. She doesn't want to push; she's only known Kayla for a mere five hours, and the last thing she wants is to make her feel uncomfortable or feel like Liv is trying to violate their privacy.
But at the same time, she wants Kayla to know. She wants her to know just how much she understands about what Kayla is going through–the dynamics that she's been involved with for years, the Grant personalities and characteristics that are infuriating sometimes but make them fall deeper in love with them, simultaneously. Her and Fitz's relationship is not Karen and Kayla's, but she just wants Kayla to know that she can trust her. That she can confide in the one person that knows this family better than anyone.
They walk in silence for a bit, mostly because Olivia doesn't really know how to broach the topic.
"Can I ask you a question?"
It's Kayla that breaks the silence first. Her voice is quiet, almost as though she didn't intend to actually say it out loud.
"Of course," Liv replies eagerly. "What's up?"
"Well, I don't want to… I obviously don't know what it's been like for you… and I'm not suggesting we're the same, but just—" Olivia smiles, listening intently as Kayla tries to finish her question. "How is it? For you? How is it being a part of this family?"
Even though she was anticipating the question, wanting to bring it up herself even, Liv blows a stream of air through her lips and sighs. "It's…it's always an adventure. The Grants, they are a special bunch–all of them. It's like they are born with this innate confidence in the world, like they can walk into a room and make everyone feel seen and special, but it somehow never diminishes their own power and authority. They aren't questioned, they are adored. It's magnetic, and yeah, definitely a result of white privilege too because they've never had their authority challenged like we have, but...
"But that charisma and love for other people, that's what reels us in and makes us fall in love with them. We see their hearts. Other people get to see their power, but we get to see them. I've come to realize a lot about this family over the years—things that they don't even realize, like how they move through the world feeling invincible, how their blasé responses to things come as a result of that, how they are so headstrong that the needs of others can sometimes be overshadowed by their own beliefs of what's right.
"The status and their place in the world are a whole other thing. Of course, that's hard sometimes– having to make press releases about pregnancy announcements instead of Instagram posts like everyone else can, dealing with reporters, having every minute action you do or decision you make scrutinized with a fine-tooth comb. And yes, of course, it's worse for us than it is for them because of the color of our skin. And yes, that's something they will never truly be able to empathize with, even if they do their best to understand and sympathize.
"There are things that suck. But then, I look at that man that I love, and despite all of that–despite everything that should make me want to run away–I simply can't. I look at him, and it's like I'm looking at my future–it's everything I ever wished for. He's…my home.
"Fitzgerald Grant is it for me. He's the only man I've ever actually loved, and so despite it all, and maybe in some ways because of it all—because we've been through so much together and have come out the other side stronger—it's worth it.
"But Kayla…That's my relationship. I don't say that to scare you in any way, but you're smart–you know what you're signing up for when you decide to date the First Daughter. I say that to tell you that…I see how you look at her–I see how you obviously love her–and I want you to hear it from me, someone who's been in your shoes before, that it's worth it. Loving a Grant is hard and terrifying sometimes, but it has always been worth it."
Kayla's eyes are fixed on the ground when Olivia pauses and looks over to her, trying to see how her words have been taken. She's stoic, but she's nodding her head a bit. "Thank you… I sometimes feel crazy when I'm with her. Like I wouldn't want to be anywhere else, but at the same time, I have this anxiety about what our future looks like. I've been out for years–literally since middle school–but Karen's still new to this. I worry that she's going to get in way over her head, do something dramatic and romantic, and she'll ultimately regret it.
"I want us to have a relationship. I want us to be together, but I don't want her to make these sacrifices and give up her future for me. Does that make sense?"
Liv smiles and reaches out to squeeze Kayla's hand. "Girl, you have no idea how much I get that. It's the same thing I fought Fitz on for years. I was so worried about what he was sacrificing—he was always wanting to make these huge gestures and walk away from the damn Presidency for me—and as much as I wanted to be with him, I didn't want him to resent me for the decisions he made for me."
"Exactly. I want to let her do things on her own timeline because I know how scary it can be. I didn't even have millions of people knowing my name when I did, and it was still terrifying to come out publicly."
Liv hums in agreement. "I try not to give advice, especially not relationship advice, because trust me–I'm not the expert. But, I will encourage you to do something I didn't do until almost 10 years into my relationship. Talk to her. Don't keep those fears inside of yourself. I'm sure you do a better job of communicating than we did, but one thing the Grants are good at is making decisions—it's even better if they know what decisions we want them to make."
Kayla is silent now, contemplative, and while Liv can't know exactly what she's thinking, she's been in her place enough times to guess. How overwhelming it all is. How deep and vast and isolating. But then, Kayla stops, looks up, staring directly into Olivia's eyes, and starts to weep.
"I love her so much."
And as Olivia scoops Kayla into her arms and holds her as she cries, she's overcome with something she's never felt before… There's an emptiness in her chest that starts to fill. There's shared experience with someone, and, sure, that someone is 20 years her junior, but they hold each other, and Olivia lets herself let go too.
She cries for the years she spent isolated in these feelings, isolated in her overwhelming love for a Grant, isolated in secrecy and broken promises and dreams, isolated…because no one knew what it was like. No one knew how it felt. No one knew.
"I know, sweetie. I know."
AN: Liv and Kayla- the unsuspecting friends! Honestly, it makes me so sad to think about how much Olivia had to go through alone without really anyone to confide or trust in, so I'm trying to heal some of that with this story. More sweetness and definitely smut coming in the next chapter!