Here it is folks, your next big endurance test. If you were able to survive the absurdity of a Total Drama Kingdom Hearts fanfic starring Pokemon that also happens to feature characters from Di Gi Charat and xxxholic, let's see if you can survive all of that PLUS they're visting a world based on Blue Exorcist. Can you physically handle reading Cody Total Drama talking to Rin Okumura?

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TRUE CROSS ACADEMY

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The campus town of True Cross was not always the bustling mecca it was known as today. Contrasting to the vast reach and scope of the town, which could honestly struggle to justify not labeling it a city, True Cross had once formed its roots as a market town, too small to even bear a proper name. In the past, the businessmen and wage runners who now populated the area would've been farmer families and niche craftsmen attempting to sell their wares to anyone who happened to stumble upon their land. At some point, a new school was proposed to act as the centerpoint monument; a marker and a, perhaps naive, declaration for their growth from a dying valley to a capital of the future. The skeptical citizens expected a ramshack structure to reflect the compact state of their nameless domain, but somewhere along the line, the building came to more closely resemble a booming castle than a simple school. And the area around it quickly came to reflect that. There were rumors the project was being backed by a group of wealthy religious clergymen, but somehow the progression felt natural. For this town that was once too obscure to be named never quite left its roots. Food stalls lined the streets and shop fronts were proudly displayed with the utmost of care.

To most people, it was the country's premiere marketplace. For some, it was a hub for easy open thievery.

A young brunette shifted her eyes around. She walked confidently through the crowds with the poise of a prim and proper citizen. To an unassumed individual, they could have easily mistaken her for one of the many affluent young students who attended the famed academy. Perhaps she would've fit that very description if this were her original world, but for now, it was far from the case.

She stopped and began to idly rummage through the fruit and veggies of a fairly popular open air grocery. All the while, she still carefully took glimpses around the area.

…There he was.

A hooded boy around her age leaned around conspicuously, near enough for the two of them to be aware of each other yet far enough that no one would be none the wiser. For as much as he apparently wanted to hide himself, she could see him clearly giving her a quick cheeky grin. It seemed he was desperately daring her to look him right in the eye while still trying his damndest to keep his face as hidden as possible.

The girl couldn't help but roll her eyes. He was being careless. They stole that hoodie specifically so he could hide his hair, yet here he was angling his head just enough that you could spot a quick glint of lime green if you paid close enough attention.

No matter. It didn't appear anyone was sensing anything out of the ordinary.

She went back to her little fake shopping session and meticulously picked through the fresh bin of apples. She lined through the reds and hybrids, then towards the yellows…

…And finished off with the greens.

That was his signal to go.

The young man suddenly slammed against the display closest to him, knocking both the shelves and the wares down and putting the nearby shoppers into a shocked halt. He rushed down and nabbed as much of the mixed goods as he could before moving to thrash another nearby stall. And then another, and the next.

At first, the shoppers assumed he was merely a clumsy customer and only paid him the barest minimum of curiosity. But as his actions repeated in more violent escalations, they all dropped what they were doing and hounded him. They gathered around him like mice to a trap, but most seemed more interested in veering out scolds than any serious attempt to intervene. It took until the market's organizer to finally give him a real bodily threat, but by this time, he was already more or less free for the count.

A small chase ensued. The boy had to relieve much of his loot in order to gain a safe momentum away from the crowd, but the large and unusual structure of True Cross ultimately played to his advantage. There was absolutely no shortage of slim alleyways for him to zip past, and by the time he made it to a remote and almost eerily quiet part of town, his pursuers had long disappeared into the distance; no doubt left in dizzy messes just from the act of navigating through their maze of a town.

"Sucks for them," he laughed proudly to himself as he took a fresh bite of one of his freshly stolen artisanal snacks.

"That's all you could grab?"

He turned around to see his female companion look at him with a stern face as she kept two thick bags full of food wrapped around her arms.

"Oh, shut up," he pointed at her accusingly while bits of his snack flew out of his mouth. "I was the one who made a scene. I'd like to see you do better, toots."

"Yeah, about that," she continued. "That was not the plan. Could you have at least tried to hide yourself? We literally just got you that hoodie. Do you even remember how hard it was to steal one of those the first time around?"

"Blah, blah, blah," he shook his head while he continued to stuff his face. "You're so damn uptight. Maybe this'll lighten you up?" He reached into his pockets and presented a luxurious necklace. "Nabbed you a gift, babe."

"You idiot," she groaned. "How many times do I have to tell you we're only stealing necessities?"

She continued to scowl, yet the more she admired the necklace, the quicker she fell to her thinly veiled vices.

"Well," she grabbed it with a resigned tone. "I guess the color does go well with my skin."

"See? I know what you want," his tone wavered between loving affection and a taunt. "Not so goody-two-shoes now, hu—"

She harshly clasped her hand against his mouth. Someone was nearby.

Even worse; four people were nearby.

"Hey, Al, I know you're serious about saving Amy, but I don't think you need to carry her hammer around."

"Yeah. When I first met Cid, he gave me this weird little hammer space cube. We can just toss it in there. Save you the trouble."

"I'm a hammer space too! Let me eat it!"

"That is the last thing I want to do!"

The two thieves crept at the very edge of the alley wall, eyes wide. What was he doing here?

"You sure you really want to drag it around? You're looking kind of pale," Cody said to Alakazam.

"I…I'm fine," he huffed back while he very clearly struggled to keep the weight in his arms. "It's a strong weapon, so we might as well use it."

"But…you're not even a melee dude."

"I'll learn. How hard can it be?"

Back at the slim alleyway, the pair of wannabe bandits were in a state of shock.

"I can't just let someone from our own world see me with stolen goods!" The girl loudly whispered.

"Calm the hell down," her partner replied. "We'll just ignore him and stuff these back at our hideout."

In their panic, the boy accidentally elbowed against a nearby trash can that a split tailed black cat had taken as his napping spot. Frightened and furious at his unprompted awakening, the creature gave no hesitation to immediately start clawing against the punk boy's face. He could only scream in unimaginable pain.

"Oh, for crying out loud!" The girl forcefully yanked the feline off her partner in crime, but not without a decent bout of effort of course.

At that point, it was already too late.

Cody stood in front of the alleyway, just inches away from Courtney and Duncan, mouth hanging and stunned. The two could only stare like a pair of doe caught by the light during nightfall. None of the three could figure out how to carry out from here. Should they talk? Should they yell? Should they flee?

They fled of course.

"H-hey, wait!"

Cody jumped into a desperate sprint and quickly signaled the others to follow. But just like how the town's maze-like layout drew Duncan's earlier chase to a close, they too struggled to keep the two within sight. And luck would have it, rather than keeping the duo in view, they wound up running straight into a small pool of Heartless to defeat.

These small skirmishes had grown fairly routine at this point. They'd all found their own little patterns and techniques to help whittle down their foes. But for Alakazam, what should've been an easy fight turned into a struggle. He was making a genuine effort to work with the Piko Piko Hammer and was failing miserably. Swings would be interrupted by the crashing gravity forcing his arms to collapse. Any attempt to lift the oversized weapon was met with messy foot stumblings and dizzying twirls as his body struggled to account for the added weight. The last time any one of them witnessed the hammer in action, it knocked these monsters senseless, no problem. Of course, back then, it was being wielded by a Princess of Heart and not a lowly advisor.

"Just drop the hammer already," Cody slapped his face.

BANG! BANG!

The four jumped. The last few Shadows, namely the ones in Al's little area, collapsed to the ground. Newly formed holes expanded in their hollow bodies which slowly forced tiny fissures of black specks to float off before their bodies themselves became lost to the open air.

"Are you alright?"

Before the group stood a pair of twins, one with a gun in his grip, having taken down the last of the Heartless before them, and one who had only just arrived at the scene after him.

"Uh, y-yeah," Cody replied nervously. He took a quick glance over at his companions who seemed to have the same looks of anxiety on them. Each new meeting in each new world meant a new cover story every time. Lying on the spot was never going to get any easier for them.

"I'm Yukio Okumura of the Japan division." He held out his hand.

Cody couldn't help but blink in confusion at the orderly and prompt introduction. With his perfectly trim, official looking uniform, and his neatly shined glasses, Cody could hardly believe that he seemed to be no older than he was. He felt like a more refined version of the preppy kids back home who took the student life so seriously, they could be easily mistaken for teachers themselves.

So like, people who were even lamer than him.

"Shake his hand," Alakazam tapped the hammer onto his shoulder.

"Er, uh, y-yeah," he stammered before he quickly initiated the most awkwardly stilted handshake ever. "I'm Cody, and those guys are Loudred, Alakazam, and Mokona. And, uh, who are those two?"

Yukio looked over his shoulder. His twin brother was a much more messy looking dude compared to him. He wore his simple school uniform all loose and unkempt, and he stood with a purposeful hunch, topped off with what appeared to be a slim red lacrosse bag strapped behind him. And alongside him, a third face had arrived at the scene only seconds before. She was a frail girl with a blonde bob, and she slouched over with labored breaths the moment her feet stayed put. With her pink and blue floral kimono and her traditional zori sandals, it was no wonder she arrived as delayed and depleted as she was.

"These are two Exwires under my care; Rin Okumura and Shiemi Moriyama."

"'Sup," Rin could be heard giving a gruff greeting under his breath.

"I'm rather impressed," Yukio continued. "I don't think I've ever seen an exorcist who could handle commanding three familiars at once."

Cody looked on quizzically. "Huh?"

"You're the Vatican exorcist we requested, right?"

"I'm a what now?"

Alakazam jabbed his back.

"I, I mean, yes! I'm from the Vatican! I know the Bible like the back of my hand!"

Lord knows how anyone bought that.

"As I'm sure you're aware," Yukio crossed his arms. "The town's been overrun by those strange monsters you were dealing with just now. They don't resemble or behave like any kind of demon we've encountered and we're at our wit's end trying to deal with them. I wouldn't suppose you have any idea on what these things are?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah!" Mokona leapt from behind Cody and landed like a toy ball atop his head. "Those are the Hear—"

Alakazam instinctively swatted Mokona off his makeshift pedestal. The small rabbit was luckily saved from suffering the fate of a failed projectile by the firm grip of Loudred's hand. The purple Pokemon in turn flashed Al a disapproving frown.

Quite honestly, there was no real reason to keep going to such lengths to hide the details of their existence. Al seemed to realize this and let out a sigh, signaling an okay to go on.

"They're called Heartless," Cody finally responded. "I, uh, don't really think they're the same as demons, but, yeah, we know how to handle them."

"So then what's the first plan of attack?"

Here goes, Cody took a deep breath. "Okay, so there's this guy and this girl."

Cody's three friends looked at each other in confusion.

"The dude's hecking scary looking, green mohawk, piercings, will probably spit at you for no reason. Girl's got slightly dark skin, looks nice and pleasant but will also probably spit on you."

It was Yukio and his crew's turn to look confused. "Th-the thieves?"

Thieves?! "Yeah! Exactly!"

"What do they have to do with any of this?"

"They have everything to do with this!"

Mokona looked up expectantly. "How though?"

Cody punted him like a soccer ball.

"They're involved in this in ways you can't even comprehend."

The three world denizens continued to look at one another with skeptical faces which caused a brief moment of quiet as they awkwardly eyed one another. In the trio's heads, they kept urging anyone to make a decision to break the silence.

The timid girl, Shiemi, was the first to speak with stilted words. "W-well, they did pop up in town around the same time the, uh, Heartless did."

"Come to think of it," Yukio calmly proceeded to add on, though it sounded more like he was desperately trying to convince himself that any of this made sense. "That is suspicious."

"Sounds like bull to me," the last of the three, Rin grumbled lightly.

A bead of sweat dripped down Cody's brow. He really hoped none of them would question his bluff. "W-well, it's not."

Rin's nose twitched, forcing his face into what seemed like a nasty sneer. Cody gulped. The guy had a very vicious vibe around him in comparison to his more clean looking brother. He was almost an entire head taller than the Keybearer, and despite being the shorter of the twins and being buffered by a slightly lurched back, Cody felt like he was staring into the eyes of a riled giant.

Just like all those kids who used to shove him in a locker!

"Rin," Shiemi spoke reassuringly. "This is our first real lead. It doesn't hurt to at least give it a try."

"Alright," Yukio nodded. "Rin, Shiemi, the two of you go searching in town for those two. The majority of those 'Heartless' creatures seem to be spawning around Mephhyland, so Cody and I will head over there to investigate for further leads."

Wait, this wasn't part of the plan.

Cody opened his mouth, ready to bull his way into getting what he wanted once more. He didn't expect to be beat out by a heated outburst from Rin.

"What?!" The rougher twin spat out. "I want to go where the action is, not running around hunting down a pair of thieves."

Yukio's brow twitched. It appeared he was regularly vexed by his brother's antics on a daily basis. "Rin, are we really going to do this now?"

"Come on," he switched to a more teasing tone. "You know you're gonna need me."

"Yeah, and I'm going to need you to go search for the thieves." Yukio sounded like he was ready to blow a gasket.

"Uh," Cody awkwardly wobbled his hand upwards. "If it's alright, I'd rather go searching for the thieves instead."

The poor nerd had to deal with the terrifying situation of having six whole pairs of eyes looking on at him with bewildered expressions.

"...They're…really important…"

…

Yukio let out an exasperated sigh, and waved Rin away while he took his leave. "You know what? You'll be on search duty with Cody instead. Shiemi and I will check the theme park."

The authoritative boy silently walked away with a stance that almost seemed like he was just barely keeping himself from stamping in frustration. Shiemi trailed along, her kimono sleeves flapping along in the air as she turned around to give an apologetic wave and a quick "Good luck". The two were soon far off in the distance, leaving a frantically stammering Rin to helplessly cry out to them from afar.

Their transition to a lowly search party was almost instantaneous. Rin was much too pissy to throw any direct complaints at the "Vatican Exorcist" and his "familiars". And Cody and the others were too taken aback by the violent faces and expletives he gave off to dare to speak to him face-to-face. Several minutes in, an enormous gap had formed between the group and the haughty schoolboy. If Cody had it his way, he would gladly make that gap larger.

For fear Rin would shove him in a locker of course.

"So, uh," Al clumsily nudged Cody's shoulder with the edge of the hammer's head. "Why're we doing this?"

"Those two we were chasing; they're from my world. I can't just leave them running around here. We have to take them back with us to Traverse Town."

"If you say so."

"I just wish we could've had some…more savory company."

Cody looked over his shoulder where Rin straggled along. He stopped muttering to himself, but was now scowled on ahead. He drilled his eyes angrily in Cody's direction, causing him to jump back forward in fright.

"He totally wants to beat me up. What is his problem?!"

Meanwhile, Rin was stuck in that annoying state between wanting to sneeze and not having enough of an itch to do so.

"You can't just judge a book by its cover, kid," Loudred remarked.

"Oh yes, I can. All my years in high school, middle school, and elementary school are all the proof I need."

"Yeah, I don't know, Loudred," Al wheezed as the weight of the hammer started to heave on to him once more. "He doesn't look like he's here to make friends."

"He looks like he's gonna eat me!" Mokona shivered.

Meanwhile, Rin cursed up a storm in his head over how bad allergy season was this year.

Loudred was usually the understanding type, but it started to grow very apparent to him that he was the only voice of reason alongside the literal band of children he was traveling with.

"We should give him a chance. We're going to be searching around town with him after a—"

Loudred's foot ran smack on to a mysterious surface, forcing him to stumble asunder. Stretches of black goop had manifested on the dirt paths and stone pavements. Nearby, a little girl stood stunned and distressed in the center of a tight circlet of shadowy blobs. Her eyes grew wider and more tearful with each wriggle and sway the rising bulbs blubbed. By the time the creatures finally took shape into blue Bandit-like forms, there was nothing for her to do but wail in terror before the scimitar wielding Heartless.

Cody and company were, of course, already on the job. The three nonhumans assigned themselves to the copious fiends scattered around near the shops and general scenery. The Keybearer himself charged forward, ready to come to the girl's rescue.

Or at least that was the plan until a certain delinquent took the fight instead.

Passing by Alakazam, who had wound up dropping the Piko Piko Hammer in yet another hopeless attempt to master the bulky weapon on the spot, Rin snatched the hammer up like the weighty mass didn't affect him at all. He raised it upwards and slammed it down onto a Bandit, crushing it in one strike alongside the splintered gravel. And he did it again and again and again. None of them ever had a chance. Any moment they wasted trying to slash their adversary's face was quickly met with a preemptive smack and blow. One by one, the Heartless, both surrounding the girl and otherwise, were crushed and crippled.

Viewing the fight grew to something akin to witnessing a massacre. When Amy was the one wielding the hammer, there was knightley grace in its movements. Rin on the other hand moved and tousled it around in a wild and brutal fashion. Any unlucky Bandit who was left a paralyzed mess instead of a lifeless corpse under the head was met with perhaps an even more agonizing death; getting kicked and hit over and over again by the hard stomp of Rin's feet. If Heartless had bones, then there would've been an entire chorus full of the cracks and shatters of crushed skulls and dismembered limbs.

The others stopped what they were doing to gawk at the scene in terror. It didn't matter that Rin technically just saved a child's life. The dark fissures of fading Heartless corpses began to more closely resemble blood splatters. They had fought and defeated these monsters time and time again with no remorse, and yet here they were feeling pity for them.

It was then and there Al decided that perhaps the Piko Piko Hammer should be put away in storage after all.

You might be thinking, "Wait a second. Blue Exorcist wasn't the same time period as Total Drama!" The Blue Exorcist world was originally something else, but I changed it once I got really into the anime when it started airing in 2011. I was only updating the fic like once a year at that point but I was still in fact intent on writing it. Let it sink in that high school me didn't realize how dumb an idea BlueEx/TDI was (said me of the present who is actually writing and publishing it now).