My life was never normal, not as far as I can tell anyway. For a start, I was born into a life of privilege, son of a rich software tycoon. I never wanted for anything, and I was heralded as a child prodigy. I was writing code and theorizing about cold fusion before I was five. By the time I was twelve, I had a dozen software patents and two dozen engineering patents. By the time I was fifteen, I graduated with honors from Harvard. By the time I was twenty, I was the youngest person to ever win the Nobel peace prize. I was, and still am, a rich nerd who makes more money in a day than most people do in ten years. So yeah, I was never really normal. However, the day I bought that trio of old animatronic chickens from a flea market. That was when "not normal" turned into straight up insane.
Not really sure what even possessed me to buy the things. I mean, for one thing, they were creepy as sin. The first was a broken down steel endoskeleton over which was placed a fabric and fake fur suit. The suit was tattered and full of holes, and bits of the steel frame and wires inside were clearly visible. It's eyes were unsettling as all hell, and it smelled faintly of rotting meat.
The other two were nicer to look at, but not by much. They had more advanced endoskeletons one featuring a strange kind of memory alloy, in tight spring-like coils that could bend in any direction depending on where current was applied. The other was more typical, a robotic frame with traditional actuators and joints. Over these metallic skeletons were placed durable plastic casings. I remember thinking that kind of plastic was awfully expensive stuff for a machine designed to entertain children. Top of the line material that usually you found in military equipment. Someone really wanted these two to last. Granted, they were still scratched up, dented, and dusty as all get-out.
Additionally, the care with which they had been constructed, hardly made them less eerie. One was yellow, lithe, and the shortest of the three. I might have even called her cute, if it weren't for her glassy eyed stare and removable beak, revealing disturbingly large, blunt teeth. The other was white and pink, and looked almost as if its plastic plates were designed to open during operation, weird as that was. She also had a disturbing gaze, that neither the lashes on her eyelids, nor the lipstick on her beak could distract from.
All in all, the three ancient machines looked like shit, and crazy as it sounds, I actually felt sorry for them. Hell if I know why, but the three animatronics radiated a sorrowful aura I just couldn't ignore.
"Poor things." I recall saying. "Looks like you three girls have had a really rough life huh?" The stall owner, a nervous looking man, stared at me as I spoke. Oddly, it wasn't a questioning look asking why I was talking to a trio of creepy animatronics, and more one of awed hope. Smiling like a used car salesman, he approached me from around the stall.
"I. . ." Here he paused, as if trying to reign in his enthusiasm. Clearing his throat as he started again. "Forgive me if I'm coming on too strong here sir, but is there any chance at all you might wish to purchase these three?" Here, for just an instant, the man's watery blue eyed gaze flicked to the animatronics, with a distinct look of unease. I arched an eyebrow. The man was short, and looked like he hadn't slept in days. His short brown hair was a mess, and the brown suit and white dress shirt he wore were unkempt and stained. Not to mention, that whenever he looked at me, it was with a sort of feverish desperation.
"I might. . ." I declared slowly. "I have a soft spot for lost and abandoned things. How much are you asking?" For a moment the man looked elated, then suddenly looked ashamed. "Is something wrong?" I asked. The man hemmed and hawed a bit, before finally letting out a heavy sigh.
"I'm sorry sir, but, before I give you a price, there is something you should know about these three items." I folded my arms as I waited for him to continue. "Have you ever heard of Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria?" He asked. Instantly, my eyes widened. I had indeed heard of that now infamous restaurant, as well as the defunct Fazbear Entertainment corporation. Instantly, my expression darkened.
"I have." I said, my tone leaving no doubt of my opinion on the subject. The man sighed again.
"Then I'm sure you know the stories of the cursed animatronics?" I nodded, and the man's face fell. "These three are all original's from various Fazbear restaurants. I bought them intending to open a museum with them, figured I'd make a quick buck off of idiots who wanted to see the 'killer robots' in person." I glared at the man, I was familiar with the crimes of the animatronic's creator, and the idea of playing off the gruesome deaths of children to make a buck sat poorly with me. He nodded, a shamed look on his face. "Maybe what happened is my just punishment for that. . ." He declared, trailing off with a faraway look in his eyes. I cleared my throat after a moment, startling him from his reverie. Looking at his feet, he spoke in a hushed, frightened tone. "Look sir, I'm not going to give you the details, but please believe me when I tell you that. . . the stories. . . they're all true!" I gave the man a skeptical look, wondering if he was drunk. However, something in his tone told me he wasn't lying, or at the very least, he believed he was being honest. "I know you probably think I'm nuts, but I swear to all that's holy I'm telling the truth. I saw them come to life! Dear god! You can't imagine it! They came to life and tried to kill me!" At that point I let out a sigh.
"Look sir, I'll be frank with you. I don't believe in ghosts. I also know something about programming, and the real story of Fazbear pizzeria. For what it's worth, I believe you saw these animatronics move. More to the point, I believe they may have given the appearance of trying to hunt you. However, the reality is, that these machines were programmed by a delusional serial killer who targeted children. There is also ample evidence that he attempted to turn his animatronics into murder weapons. That said, the true murderer was their designer, the machines themselves are blameless. Whomever sold these to you without disconnecting their power was being incredibly irresponsible, however I can assure you, these machines are not enchanted, cursed, or haunted, they are just programmed to give the illusion that they are." Here I sighed. "Afton, that sick bastard, was a disgrace to scientists and entertainers everywhere, and if you will sell me these three, I will prove it, by doing what should have been done a long time ago." The man gaped at me.
"W-what will you do?" He asked. I chuckled.
"Simple, I will take them apart, clean them up, and rewrite their program from scratch. By the time I'm finished, they will be the harmless animatronics they were always supposed to be. After that, I will show them off to the world, and prove once and for all that all the ghost stories are exactly that: stories." The man shook his head and sighed.
"As long as you know what you're buying I can have a clear conscience. Five hundred for the three of them, and I really hope you know what you're doing." I just smiled, and then spoke the dumbest words ever enunciated by man.
"What's the worst that could happen?"
I brought the trio of infamous animatronics to my lab the very same night. Wheeling the three tarp covered chickens in to the cavernous basement of my modest little mansion, I already had everything I would need set up. As the workmen who'd delivered them left, I unfastened the tarps and pulled them from the three shrouded figures.
"Welcome home girls." I offer cheerfully. "Ready for your makeover?" The three unsettling machines offered no response of course. Honestly I just enjoy talking to myself, I don't have many friends. Unfortunately, between my inventing, programming, personal projects, and other interests, I never really had time for friends, or any real relationships come to that. Talking to myself helps me feel a bit less alone, besides, its nice to talk to someone who shares your interests. "Now, I don't have quite the right materials to fix up your bodies just yet, but seeing as beauty is only skin deep, I figured we'd start with the most important part of you first."
It had taken some considerable effort to find cables to connect to the i/o ports of the animatronics to my laptop, they were from the eighties and nineties after all. However, with a little searching, I managed to scrounge what I needed from my myriad supply closets. Yet, even after ensuring everything was hooked up, my computer couldn't interface with the ancient machines. It didn't take me long to discovered the problem.
"Odd. . . you girls are all missing your batteries. I suppose the gentleman I bought you from must have yanked them out after you spooked him." I like to think I sounded confidant saying that, but I definitely didn't feel it. A sense of unease had entered my mind the instant I saw the mountings for the batteries. It was abundantly clear that whenever the batteries had been removed, it wasn't recently. Still, I had no idea how long that guy had been trying to sell them, for all I knew it had been years. However, given the sinister rumors about these machines, it was hard not to let my imagination run a little wild.
It wasn't much trouble to connect the three to the wall socket, and try again. For a time, everything seemed fine, as I scrolled through the thousands of lines of code making up the mind of the eldest robot, the original: Chica. I had to give Afton credit, the guy may have been a monster, but he was a maestro with computer code.
"Psychotic bastard was really ahead of his time." I muttered under my breath. "What he could have done with his mind if only he'd been sane. . ." I shook my head, complimenting a child killer was like complimenting a Nazi. Didn't matter how warranted it was, it still felt wrong. "They say your creator died from one of his own twisted creations. No offense girls, but I hope that prick suffered." At that moment, my screen went crazy. Odd, half formed, pixilated images flashed across the screen, before it suddenly went dark. What happened next, shook me to my core. As in blocky white lettering, a message appeared on my screen.
"None taken." Instantly, my head snapped to look at the animatronics. All three, were staring directly at me.
"What the fuck?!" I whispered, my blood turning to ice in my veins. Looking back at the screen, I saw more text appear.
"Please don't be afraid." I felt my mind rebel, as I stared at the screen in utter horror. This shouldn't be happening, no, this couldn't be happening! The animatronics were just simple machines programmed to run a pattern in response to preprogrammed conditions! They weren't alive, and they sure as fuck couldn't talk to you! I turned back to the three animatronics, and swallowed.
"You. . . this can't be happening!" I said aloud, as if that would somehow return things to normal. Again I turned back to the screen, more text appearing instantly.
"Why? Because ghosts aren't real?" I took a deep breath as I forced myself to calm down.
"Ok, very funny you prick. I'm sure this is hilarious for you, tricking me into buying these fakes and then watching me through cameras and shit. You think I was born yesterday?" The animatronics just continued to stare at me, motionless, as more text appeared.
"You tipped the delivery men fifty dollars each." I felt my mouth go dry. The animatronics had been unpowered and covered the whole time I had been speaking with the delivery men. There was no way any hidden camera would have seen me.
"So. . . you. . . I dunno, spoke to the deliverymen after they left my house!" I was genuinely freaking out at that point, grasping at straws, desperate to bring some logic to this insanity.
"You really think that idiot gringo who bought us before you could pull that off?" I let out a nervous laugh.
"See, right there, Chica may be Spanish for girl, but there is no way the mind of an allegedly haunted animatronic would be. Besides, calling me a 'gringo' is exactly the sort of stereotype a dumbass middle aged white guy would play off of. It doesn't prove shit." I started to calm down as I considered my own logic. Positive I was right, as more text appeared on the screen.
"Ok then. . . blink." I arched an eyebrow as I stared at the animatronics.
"Why should I? What would that prove?" More text appeared on the screen.
"Just trust me hombre'. Look right at us, then blink." At this point, more annoyed that afraid, I stood up from my chair, and stared straight at them.
"Fine asshole." I then took a breath and very deliberately, blinked. Before stumbling back into my chair and falling to the ground. The animatronics, without making a sound, were now directly in front of me, separated from my face by little more than an inch of space. Scrambling backward, my brain short circuited as I tried to figure out what had happened. The machines had been a good five feet away, but had moved in front of me instantly, it was impossible! What's more, I hadn't heard anything. Even assuming the three animatronics could move faster than I could blink, there was no way they could have done so without making some kind of noise.
"This is a dream!" I babbled frantically. "I fell asleep at my computer and now I'm in some sort of lucid dream! There's no such thing as ghosts! NO WAY IN HELL!" Keeping one eye on the animatronics, I glanced at the laptop. Sure enough, there was more text.
"You really are a dumb perra aren't you? How is this so hard to believe?" I shook my head.
"Because if this was real you'd have killed me by now! You think I haven't heard the stories?! You think I don't know what you are?!" I was thoroughly out of my mind with terror at this point, struggling to make sense of the waking nightmare I found myself in. Again, more text on the screen.
"But if we killed you, you couldn't help us." I stared into the eyes of the three lethal machines, a sick feeling in my gut as I realized this was all actually happening.
"W-what is it you want?" I asked, terrified of the answer.
"Bodies gringo." The text spelled out. "We want you to make us new bodies." I shook my head.
"So you can use them to kill more people?! Not a chance!" I declared, only a moment later realizing I'd probably just signed my own death warrant.
"The only reason we ever did that was because that pedazo de mierda Afton forced us to! If you don't wan't us to kill you, then help us! Give us bodies that Afton didn't get his hooks in! You're the first human we've ever been able to talk to you dumb gringo! The only one who can help! PLEASE!" Maybe I had gone insane, maybe I was curious, or maybe I was more afraid of death than I thought, whatever the reason, I glared at the animatronics.
"You swear you won't hurt anyone if I help you? You swear you three won't killl anyone?" The response was almost immediate.
"Fine! Yes, we swear! Just please help us! Once it gets to midnight Afton's program will activate! If that happens, you die!" Almost involunatarily, I glanced at my watch. It was 6:23pm I had less than six hours to get this done, I was as good as dead.
"I can't just. . . magic you up a body! Not in just six hours! I mean, I might have a way to make the physical bodies in that time, but no way I could create the programming arcitecture to house what is effectively an artifical intelligance! Hell I couldn't do that even if you gave me six years!" More text appeared on the screen.
"You don't need to program anything idiota! Just make a body, plug us in, we'll do the rest!" I shook my head, now convinced I had completely lost it.
"Fine. . . if you don't need any particular prep to work with a new system, I might have an idea. Follow me." However, as I turned, I saw more text out of the corner of my eye.
"We can't move you stupid gringo ass!" I blinked as I stared at them.
"But you just. . ."
"Yeah, I know! Look, we don't understand it either, but even doing the spooky hop is incredibly difficult for us!" At that, I let out an involuntary laugh.
"The 'spooky hop'?" I asked.
"Toy named it! Not my fucking idea!" I just shook my head, it was nice to know stark raving lunacy wouldn't be boring.
It took me awhile, but eventually I managed to wheel the three immobile animatronics to the location of my penultimate masterwork. A sphere of glass, roughly seven feet tall and wide. At the bottom, rested what appeard to most, to be metallic sand. Held in a cradle surrounded by computer consoles and an absolute forest of snaking wires, this was my single greatest gift to mankind. Or, it would be, once I got it working.
"Ladies. . . I assume you're all ladies in there, no judgements. Behold my magnum opus! True self-replicating nanomachine assemblers! Once properly programed, the machines within that sphere can be instructed to take on any shape. A bike, a tennise racket, a supercomputer, even an apparent living thing!" Setting the laptop on a nearby desk, I frowned when I read the response.
"Are you always this much of an overdramatic prick gringo? No wonder you live alone." I glared at the seemingly lifeless face of the original Chica.
"At least I don't look like something pulled out of the fucking Necronomicon if it was written by the lovechild of Isaac Asimov and a satanic carny barker!" I sneered.
"What a fucking nerd you are. Seriously, have you ever even gotten laid?" I felt a distinct twitch in my eye.
"Yes. . . yes I have. And I can say with absolute certainty, that you haven't." I declared smugly.
"Low blow gringo. That reminds me, what are we gonna look like?" I shrugged.
"I have no idea. The nanomachines are supposed to respond to whatever program is uploaded into them. In theory, you'll look however you want." I stated, as I started hooking up Chica classic to the machine.
"Really? Guess that'll make getting laid easy to cross off the list. Play your cards right nerd and maybe I'll let you be my first." I rolled my eyes as I read that.
"No offence, but I'd have to be pretty desperate to fuck a chicken." I declared, as I double checked the connections and powered up the system.
"Sounds like someone's afraid of new things. Mark my words nerd, when you see the new me, I'll have you begging to be mine." At that I laughed.
"You realize that under the law, and given you aren't human, technically I own you?" I declared, suddenly feeling very uncomforatable with that thought. Chica classic however, didn't seem to care.
"Well gringo, sorry to say that if you wanna be on top with me, you're gonna have to earn it." Typing out the commands to access the systems and establish the link, I rolled my eyes.
"Yeah, I'll get right on that." I replied, as I hit enter.
Instantly, the sand within the sphere began to move. Swirling like a vortex, as it began to coalece into a solid shape. First a skeletal structure, then silvery mucles and organs, then skin, and finally, feathers that swiftly changed color to a brilliant yellow. As I stared at the nude figure inside the glass, I swallowed audibly.
"Wow. . ." Was all I could manage to say. For being an anthropomorphic chicken, Chica classic, was an absolute knockout! She was about five nine, and unlike her pevious form, was slender and athletic. Covered from head to toe in small yellow feathers, she had an hourglass figure, full childbearing hips, a perfect ass, and perky breasts with a pair of barely visible pink nipples. Atop her head was a cute tuft of feathers suggesting hair, and her gorgeous pink eyes were absolutely hypnotic. I only relized I was staring when I saw her incredibly expressive beak, quirk up into a devilish smile.
"So, what was that about never fucking a chicken?" She purred. Her voice had a strong latino accent, her tone was tough, but undeniably beautiful. Striking a pose, she showed off her entire body, even waggling a fan of feathers perched just above her perfect rear. Forcing myself to look away, I jestured vaugly in the direction of a pile of drop cloths I kept around to catch grease.
"I, uh. . . sorry." Chica let out a titter that was entierly too innocent.
"Oh, such a gentelmen, but I'm afraid I don't know how to get out. Maybe you could come over here and show me?" Pointedly refusing to look at Chica, I pressed a button to raise the sphere from its cradle, leaving a three foot gap between the two. As I heard Chica climb out, I struggled not to think about if maybe the offer she made earlier was genuine. However, looking up to see if she was out, I felt a jolt of terror when I realized she was gone. "You look so tense gringo. . ." Her voice came from behind me as a pair of hands rested themselves on my shoulders. "want me to help you relax?" Her voice was a sensual purr, as I felt something soft, warm, and wet caress my ear.
"D-did you just lick my ear?" I asked, struggling not to stutter, as I felt her hot breath on my neck.
"Mmm. . . so this is what taste is. You have a nice flavor for a nerd. . ." I became all but paralyzed as Chica wrapped her arms around me, pulling herself flush against my body. "Touch. . . I can finally touch things. It feels amazing. . . but it would be even better without those clothes of yours." Never in my life had I faced such a test of willpower as at that moment, how I resisted, I have no idea.
"We. . . we should plug in your sisters." I blurted out, my voice sounding unusually high pitched. Chica classic chuckled softly.
"Oooh, I like the way you think bebe, let's make this a party." I shook my head, trying not to picture what she was implying.
"Do you always come on this strong?" I asked, as I connected the machine to the Toy Chica animatronic. I heard Chica Classic shuffle around a bit behind me, hopefully doing something to protect her modesty.
"Hey hombre, my entire life has been inside that maldito pile of unfeeling wires! Almost fourty years of never being able to touch, taste, or smell! I've dreamed of doing the things that a pendejo like you takes for granted! So excuse me if I want to live a little!" As I finished the connection, I considered Chica's rant, and started to feel guilty.
"I. . . I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you." I stated, trying to imagine how hellish life inside her former body must have been. Now that I thought about it, it was a miracle she was even sane.
"It's. . . it's fine. It's just nice to finally be able to be me, you know? That bastardo Afton made us into puppets! We hated it, the only time we could ever be ourselves, even for a moment, was between closing and midnight! Even then we couldn't move, just think and imagine." I nodded as I tapped out commands on a keyboard.
"So. . . I'm guessing your dream was to fall in love?" Instantly the sound of Chica laughing filled my ears.
"Dios mio you are such a dork!" She guffawed. "No way gringo, I got no use for love, I wanted to get laid! I wanted to be a queen! I wanted my name in lights while I slept on a bed of gold with a muscled hottie on either side of me! I wanted hombres to beg for me and for mujer to burn up with envy as they saw me!" I rolled my eyes as she continued. "Only silly little girls like Toy believe in love, I plan to have a new man every night eventually." I let out a derisive snort.
"So basically, you're a selfish bitch?" I asked flippantly. Chica Classic just laughed.
"You got it bebe." She declared, before grabbing me and spinning me around. She was now dressed in in an extremely tight white tank top and red short shorts. Pressing her body against mine, she gave a predatory smile. "I'm a bitch who takes what she wants." Struggling to make my reptilian brain shut up, I flicked my gaze down, swallowing as I did so.
"So uh. . . where did the clothes come from?" Chica classic frowned for a second, before giving another evil smirk.
"Oh, just a little something I threw together, these nano-whatchamacallits are really nifty. I just think of the outfit I want, and it appears like magic." As she leaned her head forward I swallowed audibly, her voice becoming a sultry whisper. "But if you're a good chico, I can also make them disappear. . . ." To this day, I cannot recall what gave me the will to ignore Chica Classic, in her new supermodel body, essentially throwing herself at me. Somehow though, I was able to retain control, and redirect her attention.
"Hey look your sister is coming through!" I declared, jerking my head at the metallic dust storm raging in the nano-incubator. Chica Classic flashed me a look of irritation before releasing me and looking at the second iteration of her form. By and large they could have been twins, same general coloration, same tuft of feathers instead of hair, and the same beak. However their were several clear differences. For one thing, her eyes were a beautiful sapphire blue, she was also slightly shorter, and stood at about five foot four. Like her elder counterpart she had a body like something out of a teenage locker room fantasy, with one noticeable difference. Her chest was. . . well bigger was a bit of an understatement. She had apparently elected to go with a pair of breasts that were as large as possible for her body type without looking ridiculous. Seeming almost to defy gravity, they didn't sag even a little, as Toy Chica stretched her arms for the first time.
"Oh thank you thank you thank you sosososososososososo MUCH!"Looking at me through the glass, Toy illustrated another critical difference between her and Classic. Classic acted and sounded every bit like the ruthless queen she claimed she wanted to be. Toy, on the other hand, put me in mind of what would happen if you crossed a cinnamon bun with a hyperactive five year old. As I lifted the glass cover of the incubator she wormed her way out, throwing her arms around me, and planting a surprisingly soft kiss on my cheek as she nearly squeezed the air from my lungs. "Oh wow, you are my new hero! I can't believe I'm finally out! My old body was horrible I couldn't do anything! Oh I can't believe I can finally talk! I have so many things I want to say! Like how absolutely wonderful you are, and how nice air feels, and how I can finally find out what pizza tastes like and how good you smell, and just. . . THANK YOU!" As Toy Chica placed another kiss on my cheek I tried hard to focus on her rambling, the better to ignore the fact that for the second time that day, a gorgeous anthropomorphic chicken was hugging her completely nude body to me.
"Your welcoommmphh!" My reply was swiftly smothered as Toy Chica, with inhuman strength, pulled my face into her bountiful chest with another bone crushing hug. I have to say I was a bit torn, on the one hand her chest was warm, soft, and extremely welcoming, on the other hand, I couldn't breath. Fortunately I was saved from the most pleasant death by suffocation I could imagine, by Chica Classic pulling her younger sister off of me with a gentle, but firm, hand.
"Easy there Juguete, you won't be able to have any fun with him if you strangle him." Toy, not losing her enthusiasm for a moment, completely missed both the point and her sister's tone, as she squealed and clapped her hands.
"GAMES! I've never had a chance to play them! What should we play?! Jump rope?! Hopscotch?! Ping pong?!" I might have laughed at how innocent Toy was, if I wasn't desperately gasping for breath while I wondered what the hell people saw in auto-erotic asphyxiation. Chica Classic just rolled her eyes as she whispered something in Toy's ear. Instantly Toy quieted down, as a reddish tinge appeared on the feathers around her cheeks. "Oh. . . I mean. . . but we only just met. . . this is all moving so fast." Instantly she struck what was quite possibly the most adorable pose I had ever seen. With her eyes closed, she clapped her hands to her cheeks, as she half turned away an embarrassed but happy smile adorning her beak. "Then again. . . if that's really what my knight in shining armor wants. . . ."
"Uh. . . you don't need to do anything for me, I just plugged in a few cables and pressed some buttons." I replied, feeling more bashful than anything. Toy just seemed so wonderfully innocent and sweet, that even with her entire body on full display, I felt less animal lust than romantic longing. Apparently she had similar thoughts as she gave me the cutest smile I'd ever seen.
"Oh my darling, you did so much more than that. I am forever in your debt, if you would have me, I would be honored to be your loving wife." I blinked at that.
"Uh. . . wait what?" I asked, more than a little confused, as Toy adopted a dramatic tone.
"Oh my love, hold me close in your arms, I care not for our differences as long as I can be yours. We shall be married in spring, and then honeymoon in Paris!" Looking to Chica Classic with an expression that was half disbelieving and half horrified, she let out a chuckle.
"I told you she was into that romance garbage. She always dreamed of being swept off her feet by a handsome knight or some shit. C'mon Toy, if you wanna ride the nerd just say so, maybe I'll even join you." Toy glared at Classic with an adorable pout.
"He is not a 'nerd', he's my knight!" She protested. "And I'm not going to ride him, he's going to make sweet passionate love to me! Just like in the faerie tales!" At that point I did a bit of a double take, trying to think what faerie tale outside of internet fanfiction she could possibly have read involving quote unquote passionate lovemaking. Chica Classic just grinned.
"Really? Cause with the way you keep flashing him the bienes like you are, I figured you wanted something a bit harder." Toy looked at classic in confusion.
"What do you mean? I'm not. . . AAAHHHH! WHY AM I NAKED?!" I swear I felt my left eye twitch watching Toy Chica frantically try to cover herself, as Classic howled with laughter.
"It's a good look for you hermanita! Makes up for that empty space between your ears!" Toy frantically turned to look at me, a mortified expression on her face.
"My love, this isn't what it looks like! You have to believe me I'm not that kind of girl!" I just nodded, wondering, and not for the first time, if I had stumbled into some elaborate fever dream.
"It's fine, I uh. . . I trust you." I declared awkwardly, not really sure what else to say. Fortunately it seemed to be enough, as she looked at me with an absurdly grateful expression.
"Oh my beloved knight, I just knew you'd understand! I swear I remain pure!" At that point I massaged the bridge of my nose, feeling a headache coming on.
"Yeah. . . no problem. Look, just imagine some clothes for yourself, and the nanites making up your body should respond to the mental image." Toy Chica nodded, closing her eyes tight as she envisioned her look. A moment later, Toy was dressed in a lacy dress that wouldn't have looked out of place in a children's fairy tale. It looked both impractical and uncomfortable, but Toy didn't seem to mind.
"Ah, that's much better, a princess should always remain modest. How do I look my love?" As I tried to think of something complementary to say, Chica Classic let out a sardonic laugh.
"Niña, you look like a fucking square! Not to mention you're probably setting back the progress of women everywhere with that subservient sweet as pie mierda. Seriously, at least call the nerd by his. . . hey actually, what the fuck is your name nerd?" I gave Classic an unimpressed frown.
"It's Lucas. . . Lucas Dark, thanks for asking." I stated, my tone deadpan. Classic gave me a look.
"Are you for real hombre? Your last name if fucking Dark? Jeeze, were your ancestors all goths or something?" I glared at Classic, feeling distinctly annoyed.
"Oh I'm sorry your highness let me get right to work finding a more appropriate familial appalation for you. How about, 'Classic can go fuck herself'? That better?" Classic just let out a laugh.
"You know, you're kinda cute when you get angry." She declared, getting an annoyed glare from her sister.
"Hey! Back off sis! He's my true love not yours!" At that Classic gave her sister a taunting smirk.
"Oh relax! I don't wanna keep him. I'm just gonna have some fun with him." At that, Toy gave her an indignant glare. Meanwhile, I had decided to ignore their bickering and insanity in favor of hooking up the last of the trio. Honestly, I think I only did it because I was frantically trying to distract myself from the Twilight Zone rerun that was now my reality. Frankly, looking back, it was a minor miricle that I hadn't cracked like an egg. Although, if I'm honest, thinking back on it there was a part of me that was actually kinda having fun. I mean, the two Chica's were clearly nuts, but I couldn't help but find it at least a little amusing. As I made the connections for Funtime Chica and tapped out the start command, I couldn't help but wonder what the third member of the trio would be like.
Once again, the nanites swirled and shifted under the incubator, as the last of the three former animatronics was reborn. However, as her body was revealed, I did a slight double take. Funtime was. . . well, substantially different from her sisters. She was only a little shorter than Calssic, about five seven or so. She also had gone with a slightly more modest body. She was lithe and willowy, like a dancer or martial artist. Her breasts were a fair bit smaller that either of her sisters, she wasn't flat but she damn sure wasn't breaking any records, although she still had a very nice rear. However, the thing that most stuck out, was her coloring. While her sisters both had feathers the same yellow color as their animatronic bodies, funtime was a deep midnight black. Additionally, the feathers on her head created a sort of fringe, and the tips were a dark red. Her eyes were also different, a deep bloody red, that would have been intimidating if not for her dissaffected stare.
"Hey, so like, can you lift up the bubble or whatever?" Her voice was flat and uncaring, sounding like well. . . a bored goth.
"I uh. . . yeah sure." I replied clumsily. You'd think I'd be adjusted to the whole anthropomorphic hottie factor by now, but nope. Christ, no wonder Classic though I was a virgin. Honestly though, as I watched Funtime crawl out from under the glass, I couldn't help but be impressed. The dancer comparison from earlier came back even stronger as I watched her move. She was like poetry in motion. Every movement was smooth and precise, flowing together in a way that even now I have trouble describing. She was beautiful, mysterious, and just a little intimidating. As she finished extracting herself from beneath the incubator, she turned. Reguarding me for an instant, before moving toward me with an unearthly grace. Her unreadable expression and huanting half lidded eyes held me spellbound as she stopped in front of me.
Reaching up with her right hand, she placed the tips of her fingers on my cheek, just barely making contact. I reflexivly swallowed, completely unable to think of anything beyond the two crimson orbs that seemed to be boring into my soul.
"You're warm. . ." She commented, her voice showing no emotion, and becoming all the more hypnotic for it. "I think. . . I like the warmth." She stated, her voice startlingly calm, it was oddly relaxing. I felt all the stress leaving my body, and it was as if nothing mattered, as she leaned in close. "Kiss me." She commanded, her voice as neutral as ever. I don't know why, but at that moment, almost without meaning to, I started to lean in, with every intent of giving her what she desired. Only to snap out of it when Toy Chica yanked me back by my collar into a protective embrace! Toy let out a possesive growl, that utterly failed to phase Funtime.
"Back off sis! He's mine!" Funtime just ever so slightly arched an eyebrow.
"Even if that were true, which it isn't, I want a kiss from him, and I intend to get one." The statement was so matter of fact I honestly had trouble forming a response. Toy however, just interposed herself between me and funtime, her eyes blazing.
"Uh. . . do I get a vote?" I asked, only to be resolutely ignored by both Toy and Funtime.
"He's my future husband! He rescued me from the curse of being trapped in that horrible body. That makes us betrothed to each other!" Toy spat. Funtime's unfeeling seeming expression changed just a hair, as she lifted an eyebrow skeptically.
"Technically, he rescued all of us from being trapped in horrible bodies. So wouldn't that make him as much my and Classic's betrothed as yours?" She asked in that still oddly entrancing monotone. For a second I considered that she could make a killing doing ASMR video's on YouTube. Toy just stomped her foot like an angry toddler, and I was somewhat disturbed to see that the concrete floor beneath said foot, now sported a spiderweb of small cracks.
"W-well. . . I called dibs!" She declared petulantly. "Besides, my knight would never give a kiss to hussy's like you and Classic!"
"The fuck did you just call me perra?!" Classic snarled, stomping over to glare into her shorter sibling eyes. Toy, didn't back down even a little.
"You heard me you-you. . . homewrecker!" At that, Classic's smile grew savage.
"Homewrecker huh? Not a bad idea. After all, what man would want a ditzy little girl like you, when they can have a real woman like me? Maybe I'll make your knight in shining armor, into my personal boy toy? And you can cry yourself to sleep every night listening to him moan my name!" At that, Toy let out a scream of rage and leapt at Classic, knocking her to the ground. As the two of them rolled around on the floor of my lab I felt my eye twitch as they knocked over a table with several pieces of very expensive lab equipment on it.
"I WON'T LET YOU TOUCH HIM YOU SKANK!" Toy shouted.
"TRY AND STOP ME PERRA! IF YOU HAD A BED I'D FUCK HIM IN IT!" Classic roared in response. As I stood there, watching two anthropomorphic chickens with the bodies of supermodels roll around on my floor fighting over which of them would get to sleep with/marry me first, while a third watched dispassionately at my side, I started to laugh. Big, deep, more than a little unhinged laughs, that drowned out even Classic and Toy's screamed insults. Barely able to breath, I slammed my fist against the table next to me, absolutely howling with mirth.
Tears of semi-insane joy fell from my eyes, as Classic and Toy stopped their sibling brawl to stare at me in surprise. Even Funtime seemed a bit concerned, as she looked at me with an ever so slight expression of worry. I just kept laughing, as if everything going on was the funniest joke I'd ever heard. Classic and Toy disentangled themselves from one another as they got up and looked at me with slightly nervous expressions.
"Heeey. . . uh, Lucas? You alright bebe?" Classic asked, clearly thinking I'd gone insane. And to be fair, I wasn't entirely sure that she was wrong. As I just kept on laughing, leaning against the table I'd been hitting earlier for support. "Oh mierda, I think we broke him." Classic declared, actually looked slightly panicked. As I finally found the wherewithal to speak.
"It's fine, this is fine! Just a dream, all of it just a dream! I'm just asleep in my bed, having a dream about three impossibly hot chicken girls who all want to sleep with me! THAT'S NORMAL RIGHT?!" I shouted, as I chuckled in a manner that may or may not been indicative of a few loose, or missing altogether, screws.
"Oooh, yeah, he's definitely broken." Classic declared. "Toy, Funtime, help me get him upstairs. We need to fix this. . ."