A/N: This starts up at Epilogue (07x06). I will start off there, but the first few chapters will switch back and forth between Emily and JJ's POV and briefly touch on some of the major situations and events that have led them up to this point in the story (for context purposes). I will add some more detailed flashbacks later, from those events and earlier episodes, for both entertainment and storyline purposes. In some of the chapters, violence towards primary characters is discussed. I will give you a warning when those chapters come up.

A/N: Also, please note that other triggering content (self-harm and suicide will be discussed) throughout the story. Please be forewarned and take precautions if these are troubling for you.

A/N: More occurred within several of the episodes (which will be brought up in flashbacks), but for now, it is important to note that in this story, there was no Senate Hearing, as the request was made by Ambassador Prentiss and approved by Strauss for Emily to be covertly sent overseas, and only Hotch was aware of the decision. JJ and the rest of the BAU team didn't find out Emily was alive until right before Emily's return.

A/N: Most words in Italics are thoughts by the characters.

This is my first fanfic, so please let me know what you think!

I hope you enjoy the story…and please review…Now on with the show!

"Two roads diverged in a wood and I - I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference." ~ Robert Frost

"No amount of thought can ever reveal what comes unexpectedly." ~ Arthur Erickson

Chapter 1

I don't know what I expected when I first returned from Europe, after the whole pretending to be dead thing. It's not like I had been away on vacation or something, but I guess a part of me had hoped everything would just return to normal. Or at least as normal as they could be given the unusual circumstances. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case. I still had so many secrets that no one on the team knew about, and though I considered everyone on the team my family, once I came back, I just felt out of place. It was as if my leaving had somehow changed the intricate balance within our team. It wasn't exactly noticeable by those outside of our tight-knit group, but it was bubbling just below the surface.

Looking back, I wonder if I could have done things differently, or if my leaving has done irreparable damage to my team. I had been replaying so many of those moments leading up to when I faced Ian. All of the secrets I had kept from my team, in an attempt to keep them all safe, along with the rest of my family. All of those moments, and so many others, kept replaying over and over again in my head. It's not as though I thought everything would be exactly the same with my team. They had learned some troubling information about my past that I had always intended on keeping secret. That, I knew, changed how they saw me. But, I had hoped that when I returned, they would still treat me basically the same as before I left. The problem was that they tried to treat me the same, but I could tell that in many ways, it was forced. While I knew they were happy I was back with them, back with the team, some of the trust that had taken years to build was broken.

I also knew that when I returned, I wasn't the same person I had been before I left all of those months ago. Something inside of me was broken as well. I tried to hide it, but it's difficult to hide things from a group of profilers, even when you are at the top of your game. When you're broken inside, it is nearly impossible. Trying to keep the fact that I was completely broken inside, along with trying to maintain the rest of my closely guarded secrets from everyone, was simply becoming too difficult. I knew that eventually, they would all realize that the strong, determined, unbreakable woman that had been a part of their team and family before Ian showed up, had returned as a mere shell of that woman. I was simply playing a role…a part…and it was becoming more and more difficult to keep up appearances. I was slowly falling apart and my team was starting to pick up on the subtle signs of my internal chaos.

The first few weeks, I was able to keep up appearances pretty well. It was probably due to the fact that everyone was just happy to see me, and the shock overrode any idiosyncrasies that may have otherwise been noticeable. However, the longer I was back, the more things became obvious to everyone. I didn't spend time outside of work with the team, like I did before the Ian mess. I always had an excuse to go straight home. I kept my distance, at least emotionally, from everyone. I would do what needed to be done, but outside of work obligations, I kept everyone at an arm's length.

I did try to make an effort to appear engaged with my team. I tried to mend the relationships that had been damaged by absence. But, when you're not entirely invested emotionally, your behavior and actions are not as effective, and can appear odd to those around you. Eventually, my odd behavior became too obvious to ignore. I explained away most of it, by letting the team know that Tom and Declan were staying with me, until they got settled into a new home. But, once they got settled, I ran out of excuses to avoid the team. That led to more problems. I could only use the excuse of being tired, or having a previous engagement so often, before they became suspicious. I really did have my reasons for keeping my distance, and they were valid, but I simply couldn't tell them what they were. I had a tenuous grasp on the trust I had been able to regain with them. If they figured out that I was still keeping secrets, whatever trust they still had in me, would be forever shattered.

On top of that, the cases were starting to get to me physically, mentally, and emotionally. That hadn't been a problem before I left, or at least not to a point where I couldn't cope with them. While I may not have had the healthiest of coping mechanisms, my team never noticed any outward distress. That wasn't the case once I returned. Now it seemed as though every case brought back some previously locked away memory or triggered something that I wanted to forget. It was as if fate were trying to send me some kind of sign. I tried to ignore the signs, but the cases kept getting worse as the days and weeks went on, as did my ability to cope.

The last couple of weeks had been even more difficult, with the cases hitting even closer to home. They were more like my own personal experiences than before, or at least that was my interpretation, but the last few had been really bad. In the past, whenever a case became too personal, I was able to separate my own experiences from our cases, or at least compartmentalize them so the team wouldn't notice any connection. In an effort to avoid my own internal chaos and compartmentalization issues, I started focusing my energy on trying to repair my relationships with my team.

I had a few conversations with Morgan, Garcia, and Reid, trying to repair the damage my absence had caused. I may have gone a little overboard. I started spending more time with them since I had once I returned. I just I wanted them to know how truly sorry I was that they had been hurt by my "death".

I tried to help Hotch with his extra paperwork and issues he was having at home with Jack. Although I doubt he appreciated my opinion on how to handle his son, he seemed to at least appreciate the effort at repairing the team cohesiveness.

I spent time with Rossi. We had always had a unique relationship. I saw him as a pseudo-father figure. While I had a father of my own, that relationship had always been complicated. What I had with Rossi was simple, for the most part. I admired Rossi for so many reasons, most of which had nothing to do with profiling. He was just an understanding, empathic person. He seemed destined to become involved in failed relationships, though he never seemed to give up on the idea of love. When he told me that he was contacted by his first wife and thought they might have a chance again, I could not have been happier for him. He deserved to find happiness. I knew deep down I probably wouldn't.

The one person from our team that I actively didn't seek out, and avoided any extra time with was JJ. It wasn't that I didn't enjoy her company or want to spend time with her; quite the opposite in fact. In truth, I had been in love with JJ from the first moment I saw her years earlier. The problem was that she didn't feel the same way about me. There had been a time that I thought she had, that I thought we might have had a chance, but I was wrong. She was with Will now and they had a beautiful son. It simply hurt too much to be around her. I knew she had been reaching out to me once I returned, but I actively avoided spending time alone with her. Any conversations I had with her were purposely not private by design. I made sure those conversations were in public, where neither of us would be tempted to become too emotional. I had always kept everyone at an arm's length, never letting anyone get too close to me. JJ had managed to sneak inside at one point, beyond my walls, and I had to make sure that she didn't get that chance again.

After another weekend away, being a version of myself long hidden from my team, I spent late Sunday evening compartmentalizing everything that had occurred over the past few days. I took a little time and prepared for another week as Emily Prentiss, FBI Profiler. I had done this dance for so long, switching between personas, that I had it became a natural transition.

I showed up to work on Monday morning, bright and early. I had to come in early that morning to talk to Hotch and Rossi. Hotch had called me late Sunday asking me to come into to the office to speak to him. When I arrived, thankfully no one else was in the bullpen. I went up to Hotch's office and knocked quietly, having noticed the soft light emanating from below the door.

"Come in" Hotch replied.

"You wanted to see me" I responded.

"Yeah, close the door. I need to talk to you about something" was his quiet reply. Not sure I like the sound of that.

"Okay. What's this about?" I question.

"I got a call from Detective Jackson. Lucas Meyers was released on parole yesterday" Hotch sadly replied.

My heart dropped. I hadn't heard that name in months, or thought of him.

Sensing my unease, Hotch continued "Emily…Rossi and I want to inform the rest of team about this situation. I want Garcia to have some security cameras installed at your condo. Detective Jackson insisted that you weren't in any danger, and that as a condition of Meyer's parole he was not to have any contact with you whatsoever. But, you and I both know he may want revenge against you. I want to make sure you're safe" Hotch insisted.

"No, Hotch. I don't want any of the others to know what happened. I understand that you're trying to protect me, and I appreciate that. But I don't want anyone else to worry about me. It's bad enough that you and Rossi are involved. Besides, I already have a high-tech security system installed at my condo. I had it put in when I realized Ian had escaped. There are cameras all around the perimeter of the building, as well as inside different areas within the building itself. I also have a few inside my condo. I can access them from the system at home, or from my phone or tablet. If he shows up, whether I'm home or not, I'll know" I reply, trying to maintain my calm facade.

I take a deep calming breath before I continue. "Why wasn't I notified about his parole hearing?"

"They didn't realize you were alive. The hearing took place when you were still in Europe before Ian was located" Hotch replies.

I nod in understanding. Ian is still causing problems. I was hoping once he was dead, I wouldn't have to worry about that anymore, but I guess that is too much to hope for. He'll always be a part of my life, in one way or another. I guess I always knew that. I just didn't realize in how many ways. I shake my head trying to rid those thoughts as I realize Hotch has started speaking again.

"As for your security system, can we at least provide the uplink to Garcia? That way we can make sure the cameras are being monitored at all times for unusual activity. You won't be able to watch them 24/7. But, we can assign someone to monitor them for you, at least until we can determine Lucas is no longer a threat to you. We just got you back Emily. I don't think our team would survive something happening to you again; especially not so soon after your return" Hotch insisted.

"Hotch, you know Garcia. If you say anything to her about this, everyone on the team will find out, and that's the last thing I want" I start to argue.

"I'll make sure she doesn't" Hotch interrupts. "Just give me the information for your security system so that I can have Garcia start working on this. Please Emily, trust me. We couldn't protect you from Ian, but I promise you, we will protect you from Lucas. He'll never get a chance to hurt you again" Hotch pleaded, handing me a pen and paper.

Looking through my phone, I write down the information Garcia will need to access my security system. "Just make sure she doesn't say anything…to anyone. Please." I quietly insist.

"Thank you for trusting me Emily. And hopefully, he'll violate his parole, or pick up some new charges soon, and he'll be back in prison where he belongs. I also have a call in to his parole officer, to make sure that he is aware of the situation. I want to make it clear, that he is to keep a close eye on Lucas as well" Hotch adds.

"Thanks Hotch" I reply, as I turn and walk out of his office. Well, it looks like this day is just going to completely suck.