"Adam and Nicoletta" - Chapter 3 - "Catfight"

April 1872

Adam started to visit Painswick's brothel two to three times a week now that he had Nicoletta Ambrosetti's doppelgänger on standby.

He continued to attend Saint Sebina church almost every Sunday. The one exception being when Adam didn't get home from the brothel until after 3:00 a.m. and was so completely inebriated that he couldn't even make it up the stairs to his bedroom.

Adam was able to get a formal introduction to the widow Ambrosetti and he finally learned her first name. But he did not get that info from the church directory, as Samantha Painswick had recommended. The listings only had first initials with the last names. He had thought sarcastically "Ha, ha Miss Samantha. Very funny."

He had yet to have the opportunity to talk with the widow one-on-one for more than a few minutes. They were constantly being interrupted by one thing or another. Sometimes members of the women's guild would pull her away to discuss business. Other times some of the more brazen young women would sidle up to Adam and butt into their conversation.

Plus, there was that one Sunday when Mrs. Ambrosetti showed up to church on the arm of another man. Miss Samantha had told Adam that the widow was not being courted "seriously" by anyone and Adam, therefore, suspected this man was "casually" courting the widow.

The man was impeccably dressed and very well groomed, to the point of being a dandy. Adam became a bit concerned that his own ruggedness might not appeal to the widow.

Adam was a man of limited patience and that patience was wearing thin. He was starting to feel like everyone was trying to cock-block him.

April 28, 1872

One Sunday, after the church services and after being stuck in a 45 minute conversation with that windbag Henry Strallon, Adam was returning from the outhouse and about to go home. As it was an unusually warm day, the back door to the church hall was open. As a result he overheard a heated conversation going on during the monthly meeting of the women's guild. Adam decided to eavesdrop ...

"It's just repugnant to be auctioning off women like we're cattle!" he heard Mrs. Ambrosetti exclaim with anger and disgust.

Another woman said "It's not like that. We would be raising good money for the night school fund. You volunteer there once a week and know how they are sorely lacking in supplies. Don't the ex-slaves deserve better? Besides, this will be only for two hours of your time. It's not for a lifetime."

"Oh, so us women are to be rented out by the hour like prostitutes? I don't see how that analogy is any better." the widow retorted. Then she added "No offense Sammie."

"None taken my dear." said Miss Painswick. "But really Nicoletta, do you have to be on your soapbox all the time? Pick your battles!"

Adam was quickly becoming very attracted to Mrs. Ambrosetti's personality. From their very brief conversations, he already had the impression that her values were similar to his. Now he was learning that she wasn't afraid to speak up for what she believed in. She was passionately expressing her views and Adam hoped that passion extended into the bedroom.

The argument continued on for a bit. Then it got even worse.

"You just don't want to do it because you know that no one will bid on your picnic basket, you old spinster!" Adam recognized that voice as Edna Buring. She was a 19-year-old women who took every opportunity to hang onto Adam. Not only taking his arm (usually without him offering it), but also stroking his back and once even gave him a hug and a peck on the cheek.

Adam thought "'Old'? 'Spinster'? The widow doesn't look a day over 28."

Mrs. Ambrosetti sternly replied "If we weren't on church grounds, I would kick you in the cunt for saying that! You shameless hussy always throwing yourself at Mr. Cartwright."

"Did she really just say 'cunt'?!" Adam was very shocked to hear such language coming from a "respectable lady". He had never heard that word used by a woman, except in a whorehouse. But it somehow also made him even more attracted to the widow.

Adam also arrogantly wondered "Is that a touch of jealousy that I hear in her voice? Does the widow want to paw at me like that stupid girl has been doing?"

One of the elderly, authoritative women said "Ladies! Please! Let's be civil! ... Now Edna, that was a really ugly thing to say. And Nicoletta, you've been warned before about your use of unladylike saloon language."

Adam excitedly thought "Ooh! She has a history of having a hot temper!" In his experience the feistier the women, the better they often were in bed. Yes, they could be a challenge outside of the bedroom, but he found that it was usually worth it.

Apologies were exchanged and the discussion continued, almost calmly, for about ten more minutes. Then he heard the widow Ambrosetti say "Ok, Fine! I give up. I'll put on my best fake smile and sell my dignity to the highest bidder!"

"Ok then. With that out of the way, let's just go home." said Samantha.

Adam then quickly moved away from the back door. He wasn't exactly sure what was being planned, but it seemed promising.

May 5, 1872

The next week, at the end of service, it was announced that there would be a charity auction event in two weeks. Men would bid to share a picnic basket with the woman who prepared it.

Adam was very eager to attend. He was going make sure that he outbid everyone, especially that popinjay. Then finally he would have his chance to spend time alone with Nicoletta Ambrosetti.

~0~

NOTES:

1) Per my research, in the 1870s:

a) Overall average age of death was age 40, but that was because of very high childhood mortality rates (up to 50%, depending upon where a person lived and their social status). Once a person reached adulthood, they had a good chance of living to an old age. For example, if someone reached the age of 20, on average they would live another 40 years, to age 60. And a person reached age 40, they had a good chance to live another 30 years, to age 70.

b) As a result, it was deemed very important to have as many children as possible. This made younger woman much more appealing to men for marriage because they had more reproductive years ahead of them. A never-married woman would be considered an old maid once she reached her mid-20s and was a spinster by age 30. Technically, a widow would never be called spinster or an old maid (but it gave Edna's line some punch).

2) Points to you if you spotted the quote from Bonanza. No copyright infringement intended.