TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF SUICIDE
-oo0O0oo-
Olivia sinks her head down only slightly. She knows she is going to have to explain Ed. Taking a sharp breath in, Olivia explains, "Patty is Ed's wife- or widow, I should probably."
"Tucker married? Tucker's dead?" Elliot asked.
Olivia smirked slightly, "Yeah."
"So why do you have his widow's number? Why are you calling Tucker, Ed?" Elliot asks more questions as he becomes increasingly confused.
"I have Patty's number because I grew close with her just before Ed died," Olivia explained. Elliot waits for her to answer the second part of the question. Olivia slowly answers, "Ed is Ed because… we had more than just a… professional relationship."
Elliot puts the pieces together, "Tucker- Ed Tucker is your Ed."
"Mhmm," Olivia waits for a reaction.
"Tucker? Tucker! The same Tucker that tried to have me fired? The same Tucker who investigated me for murder and sexual assault? That Tucker?" Elliot is dumbfounded.
"That Tucker…" Olivia responds softly.
"How? How did that even happen?"
"A lot can happen in ten years, El…"
"I know. I know ten years is a long time. But Tucker…"
Olivia nods along with the silence trying to find a way to explain herself. She begins, "I was in a hostage situation."
"And what, he busted down the door to come and save you?" Elliot chuckles to himself.
"If you'd let me finish," Olivia redirects his attention back to her, "My nanny, Lucy, was concerned for her friend. I went to check it out and I walked right into it." She takes a breath and continues, "Ed-Tucker was promoted to Captain that year. He was called out to the scene to try and diffuse the situation. Eventually… the situation was over and… he asked me if I'd like to go for some drinks."
"And you said…" he is trying his best to wait patiently.
"I said no."
"No?"
"I told him no."
"So…"
"I actually ran into him at a bar a week later. It was after a rough case and I just wanted to go out."
"What'd he buy you a glass of Pinot and you were hooked?"
"No…" Olivia sneaks a grin, "It was a Cabernet."
Elliot laughs and shifts his body back onto the car door, "My apologies."
"Anyway, he was very polite-"
"Polite?"
"He softened up over the years," Olivia continues to smile as she thinks of the fond memories, "And our relationship… it wasn't instant. It grew over time. I didn't just leave the bar that day and think to myself, 'I would love to spend the rest of my life with this man.'"
Elliot throws his hands up, "Hold up." She pauses and listens to him, "You're saying eventually you wanted to spend the rest of your life with him."
Olivia thinks back, "Yeah… I did."
"You wanted to spend the rest of your life with… Tucker?"
"El…"
"I'm sorry. I just don't get it."
"El, he was there."
Those words cut deep into his soul. He was there. Elliot wishes he, himself was there. He sighs, "Yeah… He was."
"He was there for me. He was there for Noah."
"Yeah…"
"Noah even started to call him 'dad.' My Ed is not the same person as your Tucker."
Elliot slowly nods along. He states, "If you were happy with him, I can't be mad."
"I was…" Olivia returns. She continues, "Somehow we came upon a… disagreement. He wanted the both of us to retire and spend our days at home with Noah."
"You couldn't…"
"I couldn't… I couldn't just walk away from something I had worked so hard for."
"I get it…"
"Eventually I moved on. It was difficult. Especially with Noah asking where he was all the time."
"Then he went off and married Patty?"
"Apparently so," Olivia speeds her story along. Taking a deep breath to realign herself, she moves on, "When he told me he had brain cancer, I stepped in and helped out with his wife and stepsons."
"That's very noble," Elliot adds.
Ignoring his comment she proceeds, "It was terminal. So he decided to take his own life."
Elliot reaches his hand out for a supportive touch on her shoulder, "Liv, I'm sorry."
"He didn't want to take away the best years of Patty and her son's life."
"Liv…"
"I used to go out every month with Patty to see how she was doing."
"Why don't I drive for now? You've been driving for a while."
"And somehow I'd like to think that relationship ended better than the one I had with Brian," Olivia notes. She was on a roll, she couldn't stop now. She was divulging so much information she hadn't even noticed she started a whole new topic.
Elliot notes her change in demeanor when she brings up Brian. He remembers vaguely that Olivia had a relationship with him at the very start of their partnership, but he thought it ended amicably, "I thought you and Cassidy were fine after a while."
Olivia shakes her head. Regretting talking so much and giving him more information than she originally wanted to, she quickly summarizes, "Brian and I started a more serious relationship when you were gone."
"Was this before or after Tucker?" Elliot asks trying to get the timeline correct.
"Before," Olivia sighs, "We were doing great. We went out for dinner, we watched movies, we even went on vacation. It was perfect."
"But…" Elliot can sense a change in her tone.
"Brian was accused of rape. I trusted him, he… He lost his trust in me…" Olivia slowly says. She continues, "We grew from it and moved on. We actually moved in together."
"So things got pretty serious?"
"There was a moment… There was a moment when I thought I was pregnant… I wasn't…"
"You wanted to be?"
"Of course. Of course, I wanted to have my own child. But- But I wasn't picturing it… with…"
"The eternal manchild…"
"You could say that," Olivia chuckles under her breath at his comment.
Elliot asks delicately, "What happened?" Olivia knew exactly what happened and where the relationship fell apart. She can mark the exact moment. A minute of silence passes by when Elliot backtracks, "You don't have to-"
Olivia cuts him off, "I was attacked."
Elliot stares at her with wide eyes. Waiting for Olivia to continue, he sits in his own quiet. Olivia says nothing more. Elliot nods his head ever so slightly, "Liv…"
-oo0O0oo-
A/N: Chapters 4 and 5 will discuss the WILLIAM LEWIS storyline, if you are unable to read those chapters, please skip them.