ITALIC= Ella's thoughts and when she hears dialogue from Char
REGULAR TEXT= Char's thoughts and when he hears dialogue from Ella
I couldn't hold back a shriek as the magic forced my legs to basically fall into the ballroom. Char would die at my own hand if I couldn't figure out a way to get out of here. 'Stupid Lucinda!' I cursed her as I accidentally body slammed into some poor server. His tray tumbled to the floor with a 'clang!' along with him. My life was full of apologies I could never give because I could never explain why I did something in the first place. I hated the curse almost as much as I hated myself for what I was about to do.
"Owwww!" I couldn't hold back a groan from the pain of the collision as I clung to a table with all my might. To my horror, my body slowly moved forward with the table dragging behind me. 'Stupid magic!'
My mind barely registered the fact that I dropped Hattie flat on her back as Ella's stunning figure came into my view. I'd heard her before I saw her, but somehow my heart lifted in my chest at the sound of her cry; I'd known it was her the second my ears caught the sound of her wordless protest. She was in an immaculate white dress that was enough to break everyone else's hearts too.
What was she doing here? I felt a stabbing pain in my chest at our unexpected reunion, right where my heart supposedly was. It was hard to breathe as the words from her letter echoed in my brain. 'We can't be together. I can't tell you why… Goodbye forever." How many times I'd read her letter that afternoon I couldn't say. One or two of the words had become illegible with my tears, though I would never confess that to anyone, not even Uncle.
'This is it,' I thought to myself. Ella just grew frightened about me becoming king, but I wouldn't let her leave my side again. I knew she loved me. I had no doubts, even if she acted odd at times. She was the first girl, no, the first woman, to make me see that I was my own man. I had the power now to facilitate change and help the people of my kingdom. A crown was just a symbol of what was already my right and responsibility. How I'd failed to see it before Ella was beyond sun would rise tomorrow, Slannen would have his day in court, and she and I would be married.
Over and over, she'd told me she believed I was going to be a great king. What she didn't understand was that I could only become one with her at my side. I needed her lovely and kind face and witty humor to guide me. Without a doubt, I wanted her at my side for the rest of my life. She was The One.
In yet another one of her unusually quirky moments, Ella loudly gasped and wordlessly protested as she came near me… Dragging one of our long tables behind her. Ahh. My Ella. I didn't care if others thought her mad. I knew who she truly was and seeing her enter both physically and metaphorically back into my life in this eccentric way only strengthened my love for her in that moment. I would have expected nothing less of her.
The stupid table wouldn't stop moving no matter what I did! I resorted to flinging my body backwards in an attempt to at least slow it down, but to no avail. With a creaking of the table's legs and an aggressive push from the magic, I suddenly found myself falling on Char's muscular chest, with my own helpless arms flung around his neck. He groaned underneath my unexpected weight as he caught and steadied me.
"Oh," I breathed out, guilt and panic rushing over me. My lungs were burning for more air, and I could feel sweat on my brow. I felt too vulnerable and exposed in this stupid dress, and I could sense Char's unearthly blue eyes trained on my face in shock. This was not happening. And why did he have to look so devastatingly handsome in blue? I wrote that letter because I couldn't physically bear to see the pain I knew it would inflict. There would be no avoiding it now.
Ella was absolutely gorgeous. I'd had enough seconds to adjust to the fact that she had returned to me, but seeing her in such an ethereal gown tangled my thoughts long enough to allow her to remove her arms from around my neck. She quickly ran her hands down to my forearms with a horrified expression on her face. Was being close to me so revolting to her?
"We need to talk," Char demanded in his charmingly stubborn way. I knew there was no chance of me avoiding the conversation that was coming, but what he couldn't see was that this conversation would lead to both of our deaths because there was no way I could live with myself if he died at my own hand.
What could I say? There had to be some way to save him! Could I get him to order me away, to command me never to see him again? I felt as if I would die if I was successful at this, but I consoled myself with knowing he would still be alive, even if it wasn't with me. I couldn't afford to be selfish right now.
"Char, please!" I begged, not meeting his eyes.
"Please tell me," Ella sucked in a shaky breath, and I could feel her pulse racing against my skin. What was wrong with her? She suddenly lifted her eyes with an enlightened look in them, as if she'd just cracked the code to a difficult puzzle. None of it made sense.
"Please tell me you never want to see me again!" There, I did it! This is the best idea I could come up with, to save the one man I'd ever loved. If I could get him to say it, if I hurt him bad enough, maybe his life could be spared!
I felt my brow furrow as I tried to understand what this infuriating woman was trying to convey to me. I couldn't make sense of it. Her words were delivered in a way that sounded like she was begging. Was she trying so hard to convince herself that I couldn't possibly want to be with her? Was I wrong about her feelings towards me? I forced myself to confront my worst fear and said,
"I will if you tell me that you don't love me."
I knew by writing that letter that this was the conclusion he would come to, but hearing the heartbreak in his voice and seeing the broken expression on his face made me almost feel sick with grief. The guilt inside made me want to die. I knew at that moment that he'd been just as devastated by reading my letter as I'd been by writing it. He really was The One. How to make him understand?
"It's… Not that-" I closed my eyes against the power of the curse, trying so hard to find a way to tell him everything.
"Then why did you write me that letter?" I interjected. It was a great relief to finally say what I'd been dying to ask her all afternoon. I knew she loved me. I could feel it in my bones every time she looked at me, every time we touched, when we kissed. Now that I had her back, I was not going to let her disappear again.
"Tell me how you really feel about me!" Char demanded passionately, and I felt my body jump under the force of his command. Ugh, why did this have to be the one thing he asked of me at this moment! He invoked the curse, but with all the wrong words.
Ella's eyes were still on the ground and a pained expression came over her face. I realized we were both holding our breath as we waited to hear what she would say and what my reaction would be.
Meeting his ocean blue eyes, I confessed in a shaky voice:
"I love you." There. Those three words. It didn't matter what she'd written me in that ridiculous letter. Ella of Frell loved me. Stupid, stubborn, weak little me. She was brilliant and brave and going to change the future. She'd already changed mine. I would make her see that I was good enough to be with her. That I could be worthy of her love.
"But I, I am wrong for you Char, I am wrong for the kingdom!" I could feel tears growing in my eyes as I attempted to pull myself out of his grasp. My body could sense how close midnight was drawing near. We were wasting time!
I couldn't hold back the relief in my voice as I finally understood why she'd tried to break up with me.
"Is that what this is about?" I almost laughed. "Ella," I cupped the left side of her face in comfort. "That's crazy."
Time paused as a wordless pause passed between us. I was out of excuses. And time.
This was it. This was the moment. I would beg her to be my wife at the stroke of midnight, just like my father did with my mother.
"Come with me." I forced myself to say in a more gentlemanly tone. Ella gasped and jerked forward in her usual way but didn't say anything else.
He led me down a long, dark corridor, just as his evil uncle had predicted. It made me hate both him and myself for having this precious moment tainted with curses and death. I was practically running to keep up with my love's long stride, and to my horror, we passed a giant clock that showed there were only five minutes until midnight. Five minutes until everything was ruined. Five minutes until I would hate myself forever. Five minutes until Char would be dead in my arms, and it would be my fault.
Pushing the giant swinging door out of our way, the impact of what was to come came over both of us, and we both wordlessly entered the hall.
"The… Hall of Mirrors?" Ella queried, almost fearfully. I still couldn't decipher the reason for her fear. The swinging door closed with a loud thud behind me as I glanced around us. Was my father thinking the same thoughts I was as he'd entered this place for the same reason? Was he just as nervous? Nostalgia came over me as I recalled my father while standing in this place. I felt the urge to share my own personal memories from this place. There was still so much we had to learn about each other, and perhaps my vulnerability could console the fears she still seemed to be struggling with about us.
"When I was little, my father brought me in here. He told me to look in the mirror and see myself as a great leader. Somehow I never could."
Hearing him be so open, so vulnerable made me feel as though I was the one about to take my last breath. How I wished it to be true! I felt myself begin to sob and I didn't try to hide it. What was the point? Char would have been a great leader, had he not met me. I knew he would have found his way regardless of whether we'd met or not.
"And then you come along," it was relieving to be so open and honest in the way she made me feel now. There would be no more falsehoods between us. I turned around to gauge her reaction, and to my horror, I saw Ella's face crumpled in pain, and her breath hitched as she cried.
"Ella, what's wrong?" Char hurriedly came back to me and put his hands on my shoulders as he tried to peer into my eyes. I couldn't hold back my gasps as I felt the seconds ticking by. I felt an icy stabbing sensation in my stomach and I longed to vomit. I began to say the only things the curse and sickness would allow me to.
"I… I wish I could tell you," Ella said brokenly, shaking her head. "I wish I could, tell you everything-"
"These last few days have been so perfect!" Char said passionately, and I couldn't stop myself from looking at him then.
"Well, except for the bit where we almost got eaten by ogres," I quipped as I held her soft hands in mine in comfort, and Ella laughed in spite of herself. It was such a relief to hear her laugh, though I wished with all my heart she would tell me what was grieving her.
"And…," he added cautiously.
"And you wrote me a letter that ripped my heart out," I confessed as I cupped her face. She dropped her eyes ashamedly and put her hand over mine in a wordless apology.
"And I had to dance with Hattie!" he lamented in his endearingly teasing way. His efforts to make me laugh only made me want to cry more. None of this was fair. None of it! I wanted forever with him. He was going to propose and I saw our whole life together.
I saw it all. I saw his brown curls slowly turning gray, and smile lines appearing over the years. I could hear his voice becoming deeper and softer with time, though still ridiculously attractive with his accent. I pictured him holding our children, whispering to them softly by the fire, making them feel safe and warm, defending them from every possible harm in the world. He would be a wonderful father, perhaps also singing to them 'loudly and very off-key' like his own father had done for him.
I interlocked my fingers through hers and prepared myself for what I was about to finally ask the love of my life.
"None of those things matter. We're together now." I could barely contain my excitement. This was it. She would say yes. I knew in my heart, no matter what, she would say yes.
"And when we're together it's… It's like magic," Char began, and he led me onto the platform.
'Oh, Char! If only you knew what magic was really like!' But if good magic did exist, then it would have to be what I felt when I was with him. Feelings of warmth and safety and freedom. Of love. But there was no good magic here. What would happen very soon was proof of that.
"I never want it to end," I said in a shaky voice. This was it!
"I know, I know!" Ella gasped as she replied. Ahh! Perhaps she was crying because she was so fearful and overcome with emotion for what was next as well! Her own tears made me feel less embarrassed for appearing and being so nervous.
"And, I feel the same, but-!" How to tell him! How to get him away from me!
"That's why I brought you here," I chuckled because I knew there was no point in even saying this. Ella was brilliant, so she knew exactly why I'd brought her here. She was no fool. I was the fool for taking this long to say what was in my heart.
"Char, please listen to me," I forced out between cries. I knew it was hopeless at this point. How I hated myself for my weakness and my tears. I didn't deserve to cry. I was a monster.
"Ella, I, I know you're scared. I'm scared too," I confessed. "This is," I gulped in another breath. "This is a big step."
With those words, my darling dropped to one knee, and with shaky hands, he produced a stunning diamond ring and said my name.
"Ella," I breathed. "Ella of Frell… Will you marry me?" I could scarcely get the words out. My heart was beating so fast that I could only hear it in my ears and not my own voice as it repeated one of the most significant phrases of all time. I was terrified I was going to drop the ring, my fingers were so damp.
Ella's face briefly broke into the most joyous smile and I felt dizzy from holding my breath as I awaited her verbal answer. I had timed it perfectly because right at this moment, the clock struck midnight and its chimes reverberated in announcement of the hour.
"Nonononono!" I broke down in an ugly cry as the chime of the clock suddenly made the lethal dagger appear in my hand.
"No?" I repeated. I suddenly forgot what this word meant. It couldn't represent a word of rejection. Not from my Ella. Not right now. She sobbed as if her heart were breaking as she said it. None of it made sense.
"Ella, I don't understand." And how could he! I hid the ugly weapon behind my back. I didn't know what else to do.
"What is it? My politics? Your family?" What could it be? I put my hands on her shoulders in an effort to encourage her to look at me.
"Because those things aren't important. What's important is what's in our hearts!" Char pleaded passionately as I tried to keep breathing and forced myself to look at him through my tears. The clock continued to announce Char's impending last breath.
"If our love is strong, we can conquer anything," I comforted my love as the clock continued to chime. Why wouldn't she just say yes?
I couldn't stop myself from touching his hand and allowing myself to confess one last truth to him before I killed him.
"I do love you, Char." When he heard this statement, he became overcome with emotion and pulled me to his chest. I cried as my right hand held the dagger up against my will. This was it. I could feel a tug-of-war begin in my very soul.
My right arm lifted against my will, shaking violently as I unsuccessfully tried to stop it. The weapon in my fist gleamed in the moonlight. Char would die very quickly. I began to see memories of my life, as if I was the one having a near-death experience. It was like my body and soul knew my life would be over very quickly after taking Char's. I recalled the patronizing way Hattie used to tauntingly yell my name, and the way she invoked the curse to come near and steal those stupid glass slippers.
More hateful memories continued to arise, like a cauldron of water about to boil over. I felt pure anger, grief, and injustice bubble up inside of me, and I continued to fight against the curse that was pushing against the dagger. I could feel that I was about to lose the battle warring inside myself, and Char's Uncle's voice echoed in my head with his command to murder.
Suddenly, just before I was overcome with the curse, I saw a memory in the mirror over Char's shoulder. It was of my beloved mother, as she lay dying. And she was speaking the same words that I'd fought so hard to believe through all these years:
'What's inside you, is stronger than any spell.' With these words in my head and my heart, the tug-of-war reached its final peak. This was a conflict between life and death. Could I do it? Could I defeat this curse? Oh mother, please be right… I could feel the urge to kill and the urge to be free once and for all clash against one another, the pull from both sides becoming too much for me.
"You will no longer be obedient… You will no longer be OBEDIENT!" I lifted my head and couldn't comprehend what I was seeing. Surely some fairy had cast a spell over my eyes. Ella had a cruel dagger raised above us, but with her loud command, her hand opened and the blade dropped to the stone below. I felt as if I couldn't breathe. Had she somehow stabbed me before letting go?
Gasping from the ordeal and shock of Char still being alive, I dropped to the ground in a terrible heap. My whole body was trembling with relief and shock. The clock rang out with a final tone, but this time, I felt no prompting from the curse. I barely processed Char stumbling backwards as I thought out loud.
Ella, the woman I had just asked to marry me, had just attempted to kill me. She didn't love me. She came here with the intent… of ending my life. It all began to make sense, until she spoke.
With joy I could barely contain, I forced myself to say the words I'd dreamt of saying all my life.
"I'm free? I don't believe it…" Ella almost mumbled to herself. "I'm free." And with these words, a genuine smile broke out across her face. She looked up at me as if she expected me to rejoice with her.
My short-lived celebration came to an end when Char's stunned expression registered in my brain, and he said in a quiet voice, "You tried to kill me…"