It was another bustling, dreary day in Krat. Venigni was busy working on his pasta salad, a very respectable salad as determined by the local townsfolk.
Such spaghetti was like a treasure to be beloved by all puppets and the fleshed ones.
Pinocchio was sitting on the Golden Lie. He balanced on it because he was the expert of sticks. He knew so much about wood, trees, foliage, and flowers. It was so cool that he had these skills; all that grinding really paid off.
A misplaced stone caught his eye, he saw a stray noodle laying upon it that had escaped Venigni's pasta bowl. The master of lies waddled over to investigate, really smartly, may I add.
Just then, Victor turned the corner and eyed Pinocchio with his own eyes. "You are not beefy, puny puppet boy! Look at my dedicated frame!" The monstrous circus freak flexed like nobody's business.
Pinocchio, normally an ab-enjoyer, felt somewhat offended by Victor's six-pack. He pulled his buzzsaw out of the secret compartment which made him regret several awful life decisions. He then got to work, carving up a sculpture of pure ice. It was in the image of the hottest character in the game: Green Monster of the Swamp.
Victor noticed that the abs on the sculpture were so much more impressive and it greatly impacted his self-esteem. Victor wept bitter tears and retired to a sad shack on the outskirts of Malum.
The buff loser sang a song about the magic of muscles. These notes were so melancholy that they cause the birds' ears to fall off (this is why birds don't have ears irl. LORE DUMP).
Just then, the ground below rumbled and a large hand came out and grabbed Victor's largest toe. The hand clutched the gorgeous toe with sheer force. Victor howled in pain as his mighty digit succumbed to the grip of the dangerous new foe.
Pinocchio heard Victor's cries and ran into the shack. Luckily, he had the best item in the game: the crimson wiimote. Only real Canadians had this.
"You're Canadian, Pinocchio?" Victor gasped.
"Yeh boi," said the hair-growth being. He then ran up the wall with incredible parkour and shouted out his homeboys in Krat.
This was when the truth was finally revealed… The hand belonged to… Fuoco?
Fuoco smirked (I guess, you can call it that). "Yeah bruh, I wanted to steal Victor's toe so I could eat it and become the immortal puppet that knew how to win the hand of all lovely maidens."
"You dumb idiot moron brainless butt man…" Pinocchio said rudely. "I am the real boy and only I may acquire maidens."
Victor clutched his heart knowingly. These were the most inspiring words ever uttered by a Canadian.
Fuoco released the victorious toe out of hatred for the guy who just called him a butt. He was now interested in a new type of power: Pinocchio's nose. It looked like it was all over now.
But Pinocchio had an ace up his sleeve: Pot of Greed. This allowed him to draw 2 more cards and add them to his hand.
Venigni overheard the sound of a banned card being played and quickly pedaled to the battlefield on his magical unicycle. It was eco-friendly at least, unlike that stupid submarine.
"I am always glad when individuals care about the ozone," said Pinocchio, suddenly realising he was full-on noseless.
Fuoco snickered and dug into the earth, escaping with the precious nose.
"NO! You monster!" Pinocchio shrieked, banging his fist on the ground with intense rage. "This is all Romeo's fault!"
"Yeah, it is. What you gon do 'bout it, mate?" said Romeo, downing a Gatorade in one hand and a pile of melty nachos in the other.
Welp, Pinocchio couldn't argue with that kind of logic. Thusly, he rode his buzzsaw like a witch broom and flew back to Krat.
"Hello, dear Nokia," said the lovely Eugenie, her face shining like pancakes and dragonflies.
"I told you not to call me that!" Pinocchio yelled, wildly swinging his buzzsaw and accidentally cutting a few lobsters in half. He then remembered what Geppetto told him about being mean to girls. "I am sorry for hurting your feelings, milady. We should totally date."
Eugenie nodded and took out her iPhone. "I'm hailing an Uber. What say we go to Mickey D's?"
Pinocchio nodded and then vibrated because he never realised his true power. His chest burst open, revealing Mickey D's was in his heart the whole dang time!
"Ah how beautiful," said Venigni, clasping Victor's hand tightly and warmly. "I suppose home truly is where the heart is, and that home is none other than Mickey D's."
Pinocchio smiled at this revelation and reached into his pockets, taking out a Big Mac from his left and a Little Mac from his right. He gave the Big Mac to Eugenie to eat as a token of his love. As for the Little Mac, he gave it to Victor so he could learn how to become a great boxer.
FIN