Disclaimer: Do not own Marvel or The 100
Warnings for captivity, referenced drug use and referenced child abandonment, and sexual assault and repeated sexual assault and thoughts about possible suicide.
Warnings because this is meant to be through the point of view of Clarke's mates, and how they see what they're doing. So, it's seeing through the minds of sexual predators and murderers who rationalize what they're doing.
And again, remember, there is a referenced thoughts of suicide in this, so be warned.
Not for much longer
Clarke's Mates' POV:
"We have you now. Have you where we want you. In our grasp. There's nothing to be afraid of, Clarke. Please, don't be. We'd never do anything to actually hurt you.
"We know how frightening this all must be. Twenty-seven strangers that are your mates, demanding your attention, having captured you and held you in a room akin to a fortress. But we promise, we are trying to help.
"How many years have you been putting that poison into your body? How long have you corrupted your blood with cocaine? How many nights have you gone to sleep while high out of your mind, thinking you might never wake up again?
"Or…is that the exact reason you do take the cocaine?
"Is the thought of waking up the next day, so unbearable to you, that you hope that the cocaine will kill you eventually?
"We've done our homework on you, Clarke. We know your mother abandoned you at a young age. Is that why you do this to yourself?
"Do you need to take poison that you hope will end your precious life, so that you won't have to live another moment, knowing that the woman who was supposed to love you before anyone else in the world, threw you away?
"Is that why you do it? Please, tell us, Clarke. Please let us help you.
"We know that what we're doing to you, is another form of abuse. We know this. To keep you captive for who knows how long, against your will, till you no longer crave that poison, to have stalked you for two years, to tie you up or chain you up and continually force ourselves on you, bring you to climax and orgasm again and again against your will, we know it's nothing short of a crime against you.
"You have every right in the world to want us dead. To wish us to never come into your life ever again.
"When at last, it is safe for us to let you out, for you to reform your life, hopefully this time, loving yourself more than before, we will accept it if you wish us gone. Should it be by the command that we put bullets in our brains or knives in our throats or your command to us to allow ourselves to be locked away for the rest of our lives in prison, or to leave you and never come near you again? We will honor your command.
"But until then? We must keep you here. We are so sorry, beloved, but we need to help you. Your addiction to cocaine, to cutting yourself off from your friends, to denying yourself what you want, starving yourself of true happiness, hurting yourself physically, emotionally…..you are killing yourself slowly. If not one way, then another.
"You have every reason in the world to fear us and hate us even. Were it not for the words on our arms, ours as well as yours, maybe you could have learned to trust us. But none of this is your fault, Clarke. None of it is. We are responsible for keeping you locked up and violating you sexually repeatedly. And your mother is responsible for throwing you away and making you think you are unworthy of love.
"You are blameless. One thing that you can know from all of this? You are not to blame for anything. You are not at fault for anything.
"Even if you doubt our love, even if you wish to never see us again, because of what we have done, which we will always understand, never doubt for a moment that you are in no way at fault for anything that is happening.
"Hate us all you want. Hate your mother with all your heart. But do not cast any blame or anything even close to loathing to yourself.
"We will bring you your mother's head for what she did to you. We will bring you the dismembered hands of those that harmed you, the cut out tongues of those that spoke against you, the flesh of those who endangered you. We will eviscerate every last one of them for what was done to you, beloved. But you shall not experience so much as a bruise.
"We will keep you here, safe in this sanctuary, giving you whatever you want. Wrapped and bound in our love.
"And help you to love yourself. For you to see yourself the way we see you. Don't be afraid. We only want to love you.
"What matters to us, more than anything, is not that you return our love, but that you love yourself as we love you. How many times in your life have you believed the lies you were told; that you are unlovable, that you deserved to be abandoned? How many times throughout your life have you believed such a lie?
"Do you still believe the lie that your mother told you when she first abandoned you? We know you do. That's why we're here.
"To kill the cruel lie that your mother taught you by throwing you away-by killing the cruel lie that all those who have hurt you in the past told you, by treating you as if you were trash, rather than the treasure you are.
"You have embraced the delusion that was fed to you for years, that you are unlovable. But we will wake you up. To show you the love you deserve, the love you have been resisting for years.
"We would never make you quit your job. You not being there anymore, is only temporary. We'll make sure you can go back to your job, after we're certain you won't take any more drugs and will love yourself more. We would never permanently keep you from your friends. Not ever. This is all temporary.
"And as you have discovered when we gave you the birth control, we would never force you to carry a child. To force someone to follow all the way through in a pregnancy, against the will of the person who was pregnant? Is another form of violation that even we would never commit.
"And this too, what we are doing? Forcing ourselves on you? We know it is unforgivable. And we will pay for it, when you decide what our punishment will be. And when you decide? We will happily bear the brunt of that punishment, knowing that it makes you happy. But until then, we have to keep you here. To keep you from continuing to cut off pieces of your soul by believing the lie that your mother taught you when she abandoned you.
"To keep you safe from killing yourself physically with those drugs and killing your heart-killing that sweet, beautiful, kind, gentle heart of yours slowly every time you keep yourself from the happiness you need, when you deny yourself something that makes you happy, that is healthy and makes you feel good. When you deny yourself being with your friends, making connections that will help you, sitting along in your own loneliness, letting it eat at you. We do not wish to stifle or suffocate your spirit, Clarke. Just to build it up. We will not suffocate you. Only give you the confidence you need to reclaim your life.
"You are destroying yourself. Slowly, but surely, you are destroying yourself. And we know that you never have repeated this to anyone else, but we know that you've gotten close to nearly killing yourself fully with intentions. Two of us, Natasha and Frank, were outside of your window that night, looking in, as you stared at that knife on your kitchen counter. They saw you pick it up. Had you gone further, Natasha and Frank, of course, would have interfered, but you didn't. Nevertheless, we know what you were thinking.
"You wanted to end it right there. We know you did. We are so happy you didn't. So happy you are still here. And so help us, we will make sure you are happy as well that you are still here. That you will value yourself the way you deserve to value yourself.
"We know how much you fear us. How much you have dreaded meeting us all this time. Most likely the moment you were old enough to understand the implications of the words along your arm.
"By the way, when did you first figure out that the words on your arm meant that you would meet us under less than ideal circumstances? Was it when you were eight? Ten? Eleven? When was it? How long have you lived with this fear of us? Living with that, on top of everything else, it couldn't have been easy. We're so sorry, Clarke. We're so sorry, our love-our sweet love.
"But we'll show you. We'll show you we only want to give you our devotion. When the time comes and you are confident, healthy, no longer seeking that poison, cocaine or any other poison like it again, and when you love yourself as much as we love you, when you are ready to make the connections you need to feel happy, we will do as you say, including end our own lives, should you command it, or leave and never approach you again, should you command it, or allow ourselves to be permanently locked up in prison, should you command it.
"We would happily cut out our hearts and hand them to you, if it pleased you. If it pleases you, we assure you, we will carve out our own hearts.
"But we hope you understand that that day, as of now, still cannot arrive. We have to keep you safe. We know that right now, you fear us. We know that right now, you still crave those drugs that will corrupt your body. We know that right now, you still believe yourself unworthy of love. But it'll be okay, beloved. You might crave poison in your system now. You might believe the lie that you've been told that you are unlovable now.
"But not for much longer."
Author's note
I really don't know what I was doing, when it comes to this fic. (Honestly, just feels like rambling)