Martin and the Mario Bros Odyssey
By Isaiah Joseph John also known as I Double J
Author's Note: I am Isaiah Joseph John. I am a writer and YouTuber. My YouTube Channel is I Double J.
I wrote this fan fiction purely as a ridiculous joke. Absolute nonsense. So ridiculous, so bad it's good. A shitpost. I wanted to introduce the world to my original character Martin. I wanted at least a few audience members to read this and find entertainment, laughter, or question why humanity exists.
Chapter 1 It's a Me Martin
Super Mario was sitting in a Taco Bell in the pouring rain. He sat next to his younger brother Luigi and right across from his friend Martin. Martin was much taller and muscular than the Mario Bros, but he was a huge fan of them. He had a green shirt and red pants, the two colors to honor both brothers. It was still hard to believe one year ago Martin's life was completely changed. He was playing basketball outside on the public court in his hometown Chicago, Oregon. He was playing a one-on-one game with his best friend Wally up to eleven points. Martin was six foot four inches tall and very skinny. Wally being only five foot four and not a huge fan of basketball was at a severe disadvantage. The game was ten to zero and Martin did a free throw line dunk and won the game. He checked his phone and it had Mario, Luigi, and Yoshi as his wallpaper with the time being 12:20 PM.
Martin said, "Game."
Wally covered in sweat said, "Yeah. Man Marty, you're like Super Mario on this court."
Martin looked at the sky. "I wish I was in the world of Super Mario. He's the best."
"Yeah that would be cool."
The sky was clear but suddenly dark gray clouds swarmed in. "What the? Wally check your phone for the weather." The phone reports said unusual and unexplainable weather today. "What?" The ground cracked and a fissure formed ripping the basketball court in half. A green warp pipe emerged and angled its head towards Martin. "What the Hell is this?"
There was a large gust of wind and Martin was sucked into the green pipe. He screamed in terror traveling through the mysterious path. He saw himself flying through a realm and witnessed multiple colorful places in the distance. For Martin it was like flying through space seeing beautiful vibrant colorful planets. He was sucked into another green pipe and emerged on the other side. He was launched and his body bounced off the top of a giant mushroom and landed on the ground. He was in pain and confusion, he closed his eyes without any energy left.
When he awoke he saw a cloud with a face on it. It was Lakitu riding a cloud with a fishing rod having a camera on it.
Martin asked, "Who are you?"
Lakitu answered, "I'm Lakitu."
"Where am I?"
"You're in the Mushroom Kingdom."
"I am?"
"Yes."
"What is the camera for?"
"Queen Rosalina told me a mysterious person had entered these lands. And you are by far the most unique thing I've seen in years."
"This has to be some terrible dream." Lakitu threw a spiny enemy at Martin's face and he was killed instantly. Martin saw his soul leave his body, but Lakitu put a green 1-Up Mushroom in his mouth, and when it traveled through his digestive system, Martin's soul was returned to his body. He screamed wildly. "Ah! Ah! Ah!"
"Do you believe me now?"
He was gasping for air. "Oh my Lord. I really am in the Mushroom Kingdom. The Super Mario multiverse."
"Yes you are."
"But why? Why am I here?"
"Rosalina said you were part of the prophecy."
"What would that be?"
"Rosalina said a mysterious person would enter these lands one day. And he will bring a great change to the multiverse. It could be good or bad. We are not sure."
"I'm such a big fan of Mario and Luigi. Is there any way I can meet them?"
"Do you want the easy way or the fun way?"
"What's the fun way?"
"I'll give you a map and go kart." Lakitu handed Martin a light brown paper map that magically had an automatic positioning marker for Martin. He was then given the Mario Kart 8 version of the Mercedes-Benz GLA.
"Nice." Martin got inside the ride and drove off. He had an enthusiastic, stupid smile on his face the entire ride. He drove at the speed of one hundred miles per hour blasting past small streams of water, mushroom patches, brick boxes, question mark blocks, and rows of coins. He connected his smartphone to the go kart and played the song "Window Shopper" by 50 Cent through the speakers. This was the first time in his life he was able to drive as fast he wanted, and not worry about being disturbed by anyone at the moment. Martin was nonchalant to the point that he did not bother paying attention to the obvious trio of bananas on the road. His car slid and flipped over in a triple axle, and the crash launched him out of the vehicle.
He stood up and said, "Son of a bitch." He saw two figures enter the scene. It was Mario and Luigi. "Is it really you? Mario and Luigi?"
Mario, voiced by Chris Pratt, said, "It's me. Or rather it's-a-me." He smiled.
Martin smiled in response to the iconic line. "It really is you two. I'm such a big fan of you two."
"You came from the human world and now you're here?"
"Yeah how did you know?"
"You look like a human from New Donk City. Did you not see our documentary in theaters? The Super Mario Movie? Me and Lu are from Brooklyn, New York."
"Oh that's right. I'm from Chicago."
"As in the Chicago Bulls? Kanye West? Lupe Fiasco?"
"Actually I'm from Chicago, Oregon. It's a small town."
"Oh that's interesting."
"I'm only eighteen. I had dreams of making the NBA but I know my chances are slim."
"Why? You're taller than me, my boy."
"My high school performances weren't that great. And my college is a joke in sports."
"Well could I help you out?"
"You play basketball Mario?"
"You know the video game NBA Street V3? I was in that game. GameCube version of course."
"Oh yeah that's right. But that's just a videogame. I don't know if you really got game."
"Oh yeah?" Mario had a raised eyebrow. There was an obvious idolatry of Mario and Luigi from Martin, but Mario was surprised to see a hint of doubt. Mario had to prove to Martin he was the real deal. "That's not the only basketball game I was in. But I'll prove it to you. Lu you know what to do."
Luigi snapped his fingers and a light brown wooden basketball court emerged from the ground near them. Lakitu dropped off a basketball onto the court. Yoshis, Lumas, Shy Guys, Koopa Troopas, Goombas, King Bob Omb, Mallow, Princess Peach drove in their go karts just to see the game. They all sat in the audience stands. Suddenly pillars, a roof, and tall walls erupted. The structures came together and the indoor basketball arena was completed. Martin looked around and was amazed Luigi's finger snapping created an entire basketball arena with bright lights and 22,000 fans in the audience. Mario had a group standing next to him: Luigi, the 42nd President of the United States Bill Clinton, actor George Clooney, Geno, and Koopa Troopas. Mario pointed his finger and Martin looked at what his finger was pointing at, it was legendary basketball player Shaquille O'Neal and a group of green and red Koopa Troopas.
Mario looked at Martin and said, "My team versus your team. I'll be the best competition you ever went up against. You will impress me if you score 64 by yourself. Get it?" He had another eyebrow raised because 64 was an important number to both of them. The two teams changed into their jerseys. Mario wore the number 1 with his jerseys being red and white, and Martin's team wore purple and orange. Martin wore the jersey number 64.
Lakitu floated in the middle of the court and threw the ball up. Shaquille O'Neal won the tip easily because Mario did not bother going for the jump ball. Martin wanted to play the point guard and he dribbled the ball up the court. Mario was defending Martin, and he wanted to make a good first impression. Martin did a lightning quick flurry of dribble moves he emulated watching Kyrie Irving. Just when Martin thought Mario's defense slipped, Mario slapped the ball out of his hands and stole the ball. The possession changed, Mario was ten feet ahead of everyone and jumped to score a free throw line dunk. Mario turned around and smirked at Martin.
A green Koopa Troopa passed the ball to Martin to inbound the ball. Martin dribbled the ball up and attempted a pull up three pointer and it bricked horribly. Mario had the defensive rebound and half court passed it to Luigi who hit a corner three pointer completely open. Martin knew this would be a tough game. Martin had to figure something out so he wanted to facilitate first. He passed the ball to Shaquille O'Neal and relied on him to hit shots while posting up. The first half ended, each quarter was 12 minutes, and the score was 80-50. Martin had 5 points with 5 Rebounds and 12 Assists. He was inefficient shooting 1 out of 14 from the field and was taking wildly off balance shots trying to impress Mario and Luigi. Mario had 50 points, 15 Rebounds, 0 Assists, 5 Steals, and 5 Blocks.
Lakitu had his camera recording the entire game as he floated over the court. He also had several other cameramen to get the best quality broadcasting.
Martin was already defeated. He sat on the bench resting as he watched his teammates in the second quarter. Martin's coach was a Green Toad with sunglasses, a black suit, clipboard, and chewing gum in his mouth. The Toad looked at him and asked, "What's wrong Martin? This is your first day in the Mushroom Kingdom. You look miserable."
Martin answered honestly, "Because I am miserable. I'm dogshit."
"You have 12 Assists in the first half. 0 turnovers. You're a gifted playmaker."
"But I can't do anything against Mario."
"That's because you're trying too hard to impress him. You're not letting the game come to you naturally."
"What am I supposed to do?"
"Stop idolizing Mario. You're versing him today. You have to treat him like any other opponent. I need you and Shaq to get back in the game."
Martin took his coach's comments to heart. He got back into the game and he decided to wear a new jersey with the number 0. He wore 0 this time because he simply liked the number. Martin did not overthink this time. He and Shaq naturally trusted each other and he quickly threw alley oops to his legendary teammate. The third quarter was coming to an end soon and Martin already had 20 assists overall. Martin drove to the basket only doing somewhat complex dribble moves and forced Mario and his teammates into foul trouble. Martin had 20 points from the free throw line just in the third quarter. When Mario had four fouls, his coach substituted him to prevent him from fouling out of the game too early. This was Martin's best chance. He unleashed his best dribble moves against his defender the 42nd President of the United States Bill Clinton. Bill Clinton could not handle the moves and his ankles were broken five times, and he fell to the ground one time. Martin unleashed five three pointers against the team hitting them all swish.
It was the start of the fourth quarter. Martin had four fouls, 40 points, 15 Rebounds, 20 Assists, 8 Steals, and 6 Blocks. Mario had four fouls, 64 Points, 20 Rebounds, 0 Assists, 7 Steals, and 7 Blocks. Martin kept going at Mario without any fear. Despite missing a few shots, Martin did not let that deter him from constantly showing Mario the best offensive skills he had. There were only ten seconds left in the game. Martin had 61 points, 25 Rebounds, 25 Assists, 9 Steals, and 7 Blocks. Mario had 77 Points, 32 Rebounds, 3 Assists, 10 Steals, and 10 Blocks. The score was tied at 120-120. Martin's coach called a timeout and the audience was patiently waiting for Martin's team. The time out was over and it was time for Martin's heroic moment.
Martin looked at Shaq and the audience thought he would pass it to his Hall of Fame teammate. Martin had the ball and did complex dribble moves until there were only three seconds left. He shot a 3 pointer from the top of the key over Mario defending him. The crowd braced themselves. Time stood still and everyone including Mario and Martin were awaiting the result. Martin hit the 3 pointer and he won the game with 64 points, the most points he ever had in a team game. Despite being a home game for Mario, the audience stood up and cheered for the newcomer Martin. The newcomer who refused to give up.
Mario walked over to Martin and reached his hand out to congratulate him. Martin shook his hand.
Mario said, "Martin. I only organized this game so that I could push you to your limits."
Martin asked, covered in sweat and panting in exhaustion, "How did I do?"
"Excellent. Thank you for playing my game. You're number one!" He did a thumbs up and Martin smiled in response.
Ever since that day Mario and Luigi taught Martin the ways of platforming, combat in the style of Super Smash Bros, go kart racing, basketball, baseball, soccer, and magic like the RPG adventures they had. Martin frequently bowed to the ground in front of them in honor, although Mario and Luigi were always uncomfortable with the gesture. Martin did not use any power ups. He wanted to see how much progress he could make to his own body purely based on hard work.
Martin stayed one year in the Mushroom Kingdom and he signed up for the Mushroom Basketball Association. He was drafted in the 1st round as the 20th pick by the Peach's Castle Blue Shells. He won rookie of the year playing all 50 regular season games as the starting point guard averaging 15 Points, 5 rebounds, 8 Assists, 1.7 Steals, shooting 42% from the field and 38% from 3 pointers per game. His team lost in the first round of the playoffs and although disappointed, was happy that Mario, Princess Peach, Luigi, and Daisy were owners of the professional basketball team.
Returning to the present moment, Mario, Luigi, and Martin were sitting in Taco Bell. There was heavy rain pouring all day and there was slight flooding in the streets. This was Martin's first time in a Taco Bell in the Mario universe. Mario invited him because he wanted to make Martin feel better after a disappointing loss in the playoffs in the MBA.
Martin said, "Thanks Mario for the gesture. I'm still bummed out that I lost in the first round. But hey I'm with my two childhood heroes." He was munching down on Doritos Locos tacos and guzzling a diet Pepsi.
Luigi, voiced by Charlie Day, told him, "Martin, don't be so hard on yourself. You won rookie of the year."
"I'm surprised the Blue Shells are like the New York Knicks of the MBA. You are the owners. Big market team. Yet your team had so many terrible years."
"Hey Martin, you're our hope." Luigi smiled at him.
Martin smiled in response. "Yeah. I want to be MVP and DPOY one day. I want to bring a championship for the Mushroom Kingdom."
"You will."
Martin ate more tacos. He looked around the restaurant and there were not that many customers. There were a few Yoshis, Shy Guys, Koopa Troopas, and Goombas. Martin enjoyed Taco Bell greatly back home in Oregon.
He was confused because he saw Mario shivering. Mario's hands were shaking. The inside of the Taco Bell fast food restaurant had proper heating, so Mario should not be cold. "Hey what's wrong Mario?"
Mario replied with a saddened tone not looking at him, "It's nothing."
"We both know it's not nothing. What's wrong?"
He looked at Martin. "You know Wario?"
"Of course I know Wario. What about him?"
"Wario's in trouble right now."
"Why?"
"It's because of Waluigi. Waluigi was killed a few years ago. Before you came to our world."
"Who did it? And how did he die?"
"It was a shootout. Wario is looking for Waluigi's killer. The killer left behind a Beretta M9, a popular 9 millimeter pistol. We don't know who did it but Wario will not stop until he finds him."
"Are you going to see Wario?"
"There's no point. Wario doesn't trust me and Luigi."
In New Donk City Wario smoked a cigar near the reasonably sized human beings in business suits with a normal appearance. He was sitting at a table drinking a cup of hot coffee. Mayor Pauline, wearing a black business suit disguise, fedora, and sunglasses, decided to take a seat at the same table in front of him.
Pauline greeted, "You asked to see me Wario?"
Wario chuckled slightly. He said, "Pauline. We know why I'm here."
"I don't know who killed Waluigi."
"Bullshit! That's Bowsershit! We both know you know who killed Waluigi!" Wario slammed his cup of coffee on the table in furious frustration.
"I don't know who killed him."
"Then you know someone who has knowledge of what happened that day."
"What makes you think that?"
"The Mayor of New Donk City. You saw the violence, murder, drugs, prostitution, and corruption in this city ever since you held that position. And you're really trying to convince me you have no idea what happened? You were there when Waluigi was gunned down. You saw him plead for help."
Mayor Pauline sat silently and had to think carefully. "Wario. I'm trying to protect you."
"And I'm trying to protect you as well. I still have evidence of you know who. My patience is running out. If you don't help me, I'll leak the evidence of his corruption. He'll get thrown into prison and God knows what will happen there. He will have a lot of enemies in there."
"Fine!" Mayor Pauline slammed her cup of coffee on the table this time. "Wario, if you want to find the killer, talk to Frogfucius."
"Frogfucius? The frog that raised Mallow?"
"Yes. He can see and interpret prophecies."
"I'm on my way." Wario finished his coffee and stood up from his seat. He got into his purple lowrider style go kart.
"Wario."
"What?" He was about to drive away from the scene.
"I tried to protect you from the truth. The truth will set you free. But don't blame me when the truth destroys you."
Wario disregarded the warning and drove off in the pouring rain. He had a photo of Wario and Waluigi playing tennis hanging on the rearview mirror. He looked at the photo. "Waluigi. I will get my revenge."