I've loved you for a long time."
Tony's voice echoed through her head. When he had told her that in the tunnel of love she had been taken aback. What did he mean that he had loved her for a long time?! How long was a long time?
Did he love her the first day they met?
Did he love her the day he saw her naked and broke his date with the professor because she made that lewd comment?
Did he love her when she helped clean out his Father's apartment?
Did he love her when he 'protected her honor' by throwing Jim Peterson out?
Did he love her when Michael came back and let him go and he left so they could have another shot at their marriage?
Did he love her when they got drunk and kissed each other in the kitchen?
Did he love her when he found out that she was Ingrid the very first girl he kissed?
Did he love her when Michael said he was going to fight for custody of Jonathan?
Did he love her when Jonathan set them up for Valentine's Day?
Did he love her when Eddie and Emily hooked up and they had the conversation about opposites attracting?
Did he love her when he was being wheeled into surgery and told her he loved her?
Did he love her when he was there for her when she was fired and encouraged her to open her own agency?
Did he love her when they stood up for Paul and Isabelle?
Did he love her when he sold his baseball card so he could buy her the beautiful crystal vase for Christmas?
Did he love her when he said she mentioned once that pink roses were her favorite?
Did he love her when Geoffrey proposed and he climbed up to her window and spray painted: NO! on her window?
Did he love her when he "rescued" her from Jake The Snake and took her to Inspiration Point and kissed her so she could complete her list?
Did he love her when he told her that he didn't love Frankie and that "LOVE IS IMPORTANT" while looking deep in her eyes?
Did he love her when they told Lyle and Christy that alone was bad and together was good?
Did he love her when he told Jonathan's principal if he ever had another kid he would want her to be the mother?
Did he love her when his aunt Rosa tried to set her up with Maritzio and he later told them that they would probably get married someday?
Did he love her when he recreated her prom for her?
Did he love her when she helped get his Grandfather his U.S. citizenship?
Did he love her when he came to the Plaza when she was with Jack and lied that he had written down the wrong room number?
Did he love her when he took her out on their first official date and later told her that he took her out because she was beautiful, smart, funny, and beautiful?
Did he love her when Brian reentered her life and said they were still married and wanted to stay married?
Did he love her when he wrote the ODE TO ANGELA poem?
Did he love her when they had their make out session and talk in Jamaica?
Did he love her when he slept with Kathleen and decided to date her despite their talk in Jamaica and what they had been building the last six years?
Her eyes filled up at the last thought. Did he love her when he started things with Kathleen? Did he know he loved her and yet still chose Kathleen over her?
She sat up in bed and turned on her lamp. She grabbed some tissues and wiped her eyes. OMG! Was that possible?! Did he love her and knew he loved her when he was dating Kathleen? She leaned back as more memories overcame her.
Did he love her when he told her how he wanted to ask her to the closing of the Starlight Ballroom and then later told her the night didn't have to end and they danced the rest of the night in their living room until the sun came up?
Did he love her when he told the Judge in South Carolina that when he married AN- an appropriate person he wanted it to be because he loved her and cherished her and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her?
Did he love her when he couldn't sleep lying next to her on the train to Washington D.C.?
So when did he know that he loved her? She knew it really shouldn't matter now. After all, they were finally together. She smiled and touched her lips as she recalled his sweet and passionate kisses and the way he had looked into her eyes and held her close to him like he was afraid if he didn't she would float away. He had been so loving and gentle that she had to pinch herself to make sure she wasn't dreaming.
But still the whole "I loved you for a long time." lingered through her mind over and over and over. She knew she had to say something to him about it otherwise it would drive her crazy.
She looked at her clock. 4:00 a.m. and she was wide awake. She knew it was futile to try and fall back to sleep and decided to go get a late night or would that be an early morning snack? She climbed out of bed and grabbed her pink robe and put it on. She quietly opened her door and walked softly down the stairs so she wouldn't wake Tony and Jonathan crossed the living room and pushed the swinging door open and was greeted by Tony having his own early morning snack.
"Tony!"
Tony looked up. There she was. The woman he loved. He still couldn't believe a few hours earlier in the tunnel of love he had finally told he that he loved her. He remembered feeling like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He had felt lighter. Freer. He got up and wrapped his arms around her and kissed her gently on the lips.
"Hi." he grinned like a school boy.
"Hi." she softly said.
"I can't believe I finally get to do that!" he chuckled and led her to the chair next to him. He pulled it out and she sat down. "I mean I have thought about it for so long. What it would be like to kiss you. And yeah I know we have kissed before but it's different now. I mean we are finally together." He sat down beside her. "It's I don't know… it means more now you know? " he shook his head. "I'm sorry. I'm babbling."
Angela smiled. "No. It's okay. I feel the same way. It's almost like it was a dream."
He took her hand and kissed her palm. "Well this is no dream sweetheart."
Angela blushed when he called her sweetheart.
"You are cute when you blush and you are very cute in that robe." he winked at her.
That of course only made her blush even more.
"So, I guess you couldn't sleep either?" he asked.
She shook her head. "No, I couldn't. So I decided to come down and get something to eat."
He stood up. "Well let me get you something then." He looked in the refrigerator. "There's still some of that fruit salad left."
"That sounds good."
He took the fruit salad out and grabbed a bowl out of the cupboard. He dished some into it and grabbed a spoon out of the drawer and set it in front of her.
"Here you go."
"Thank you."
"You're welcome."
He sat back down and continued eating his ham and cheese sandwich.
They were silent for a while each lost in their own thoughts while they ate their snack. She knew she needed to ask him about what he meant when he told her that he loved her for a long time.
If she didn't it would eat away at her.
"Tony. Can I ask you something?"
He smiled at her. "You can ask me anything."
She looked down and bit her lip.
"Angela? Is something wrong?" he felt himself panicking. Did she regret what happened in the tunnel of love? No, that couldn't be it. She wouldn't have given him the watch with the words: IT'S TIME I SAID I LOVED YOU if she hadn't meant it and wanted him to know.
She looked back up. "No, nothing is wrong. I guess well I was thinking about something you said."
"Yeah? And what was that?"
"You said that you loved me for a long time."
He nodded. "I have. I have loved you for a long time."
"Tony.."
"Yeah?"
She sighed. "When you say you loved me for a long time. What do you mean?"
He looked at her in confusion. "Angela, I'm not sure I'm understanding you."
"Well how long is a long time? A few months? A few years? From the day I opened up the front door and you were standing on the doorstep and told me that you were here to be my new housekeeper?"
"Wow! Angela, that is a loaded question!" he chuckled. When he saw that she was serious he stopped. He cleared his throat.
""Okay, so you want to know how long?"
She nodded.
"The thing is I can't. And I know you think that is probably a cop-out but it's the truth. When I said that I loved you for a long time I can't pinpoint a particular moment, or word, or gesture. What I do know is that over the years you have filled my heart in a way no other woman has ever done except Marie. That was when I knew that I loved you."
"What about Kathleen?!" she blurted out before she could stop herself.
He was taken aback. Kathleen?! Why was she bringing her up after all this time?
"Angela? Why are you bringing Kathleen up? What does she have to do with this?"
"When you said that you loved me for a long time did you love me when you were with her in the hotel room? Did you love me when you told me you didn't know if it was over with her? Did you love me when you followed me on my date with Christopher? Did you love me when you made out with Kathleen on our couch?!" Her voice shook as she sputtered out the last few words.
"Angela. Baby please don't do this!"
Her eyes filled with tears and he got up and tore off a couple of pieces of paper towel. He handed them to her and sat back down. She wiped her eyes and blew her nose.
He waited until she got herself under control.
"Angela, when I got involved with Kathleen I was so confused about things. I mean I knew I had feelings for you but they were so overwhelming. And then Kathleen came along and she was at my level and yes I took the opportunity that was given to me. I was in such denial about my feelings for you that I pushed them down because at the time I thought Kathleen and I made more sense."
"So did you love me when you were with her?"
Tony looked in her eyes. He knew what he was about to say would hurt her but if they were going to be together they needed to be honest with each other. No matter how much it would hurt.
"Yes. I knew that I loved you." he said simply without any hesitation.
The tears fell down her cheeks and he leaned over and gathered her in his arms. She cried on his shoulder while her body shook from her sobs.
He didn't say anything. He just held her while she cried. After a few minutes she regained her composure and sat back up. She picked up one of the paper towels and wiped her eyes and blew her nose.
"Angela, I am so sorry."
She shook her head. "No. It's okay."
"No, it isn't. I never wanted to hurt you. I never meant to hurt you. It's just that at the time…"
"I know."
She didn't say anymore. She didn't need to.
"So where do we go from here?" she looked at him.
"Well I guess we can try and get some sleep?"
'Yeah. I guess that's a good idea."
They both stood up and put their dishes in the dishwasher. He turned off the light and they left the kitchen and went back upstairs. He walked her to her door and kissed her softly on the lips.
"Sweet dreams." he smiled.
"Sweet dreams." she whispered.
She opened her door and let herself inside.
He gazed at her door, a feeling of love coursing through him. He smiled and then crossed over to his room and shut the door.
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A/N: As always the lines from the show the credit goes to the writers!