A.N. Hey all! So this is my first time writing fanfiction in over a decade (I know, right?) so please bear with me. I love Meredith/Alex both as a friendship or romance, so had an idea to write a whole bunch of Merlex one-shots. They should be done in a format that means they can be read as continuous or alone, I'll specify in summaries if romance is involved or if it can be read as purely friendship for those who aren't fans of them as a relationship. They'll take place based from episodes, although likely won't be every episode, just ones I felt I could pull inspiration from. Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Meredith sat on the porch swing, carefully peeling one of Izzie's cupcakes from its case, when a voice roused her from her thoughts.

"What are you doing out here? It's freezing."

Alex sat down next to her and threw his jacket over her shoulders. It was only when its warmth hit her skin that she realised how cold she actually was. She passed him a cupcake from the platter beside her, which he took gratefully. Not even bothering to unwrap it, he just shoved it into his face which made her smile.

"I just fancied sitting outside. Everyone is out. I don't really like being in the house on my own these days."

Alex nodded. "Well, I'm here now. Why don't we go in and have a beer?"

She had to admit, now that she had noticed the cold and was tempted with the alcohol, it sounded much more pleasant than sitting outside. They made their way inside and took seats at the kitchen table. Meredith found herself gazing at the same stain in the woodwork as she had that morning, while the others berated Derek for his muesli and he realised how long he had stayed there. She knew, she felt like the house was warning her of the defeat that was to come when it wouldn't let her sleep. She couldn't explain why, but it made her feel sad. She was glad Alex hadn't been there for that.

"What's going on with you? You don't seem yourself."

While her inner saboteur told her there was no way of explain her 'black spots' to anyone, she knew if anyone would get it, it would be Alex. "I get dark sometimes. It doesn't make much sense. But when it happens, I feel like I've been knocked off my feet, I can't function like a normal human being."

He was stroking her hand with his thumb as she talked, taking in every word she said. A flicker she noticed behind his eyes showed it hurt him to see her like this.

"It's like there's another person controlling my body. It pins me down. I can't do anything without this person saying so, and they won't let me get close to anyone, either."

"Well," Alex smirked. "Tell them I'm very grateful they've allowed you to speak to me."

Meredith smiled, he always had a way of making her do that. "You know I grilled Derek today? Told him I didn't know anything about him and I didn't want to be his gravy." Most people would have questioned that, not wanting to be someone's gravy was an odd thing to say out of context, but Alex wasn't just anyone. He got it.

"Is it too much to ask to want to be carefree again? Like when we were young?"

"Meredith Grey, if there's one thing I do know about life with your mother, things were never carefree." See, most people would have got a slap for that comment. Alex Karev, he could get away with anything with that winning smile. "I think that person who controls you is trying to trick you into thinking things, like you're some sort of failure now."

"Maybe you're right. Just ignore me, I'm babbling nonsense."

"I couldn't ignore you if I tried. You get a damn grip on people somehow, girl."

They grabbed more cupcakes and compared their days. Psychic visions of death, cows and rabbi's. Was there ever a normal day at Seattle Grace?

"He took me on my word. Started telling me stuff about him and took me to the trailer."

"So, how come you aren't there now? Especially if you don't like being in the house alone?"

"Because... because I thought it would make things make more sense. Make me feel closer to him. Instead, it's like I watched him disappear, and I couldn't let him see it in my face, so I made my exit. I don't want there to just be this transparent image of him. Maybe things will feel better soon."

Alex pulled her into a tight hug. "They will. I'm not the psychic guy, okay, I can't tell you what's gunna happen. But it'll be alright in the end, everything always is. You're building a home here, a family, everything will fix itself."

After a while in the same position, Meredith started to feel herself nod off. Alex noticed, helped her up and told her to go on up to bed. He grabbed his jacket to leave, when she stopped him.

"No, please stay. I mean, would you stay on the couch? Like I said, I don't like being alone here now."

Alex smiled. "Sure. I'll be right here when you wake up."

Meredith started to make her way up the stairs when a thought occurred to her and she jumped back down.

"Alex... what were you doing here? The other are out, and I didn't ask you to come over. How did you know anyone would be here?"

He shrugged. "Got a vibe I was needed. Hey, maybe I am psychic after all."