Jenny Lee couldn't help but think back to the first time she had gotten her period.
At 14 years old, she'd walked in the front door after school, shivering from the fall air outside. Despite the chill, her sweater was tied around her waist - the universal girl's action to cover a stain. She dropped her book bag down in the kitchen.
"Mum?" She called out.
"Up here, darling." Her mother responded from upstairs. Jenny dashed up to find her on the landing, dusting the bookcase. She held back tears.
"I need to talk to you." She said, her voice catching.
"Oh no, what's the matter?" Jenny's mother put down her feather duster and reached for her eldest daughter, pulling her into a hug.
"I'm bleeding." She said as a tear slipped down her cheek, "I've been bleeding since yesterday and I thought I had a cut, but I don't know what it could be from. It won't stop. I put a cotton bandage around my leg where I thought it was coming from, but it kept bleeding. A lot. I bled right through the back of my skirt during class, and a girl laughed at me." She pulled off her sweater to show her mum the spot on her blue skirt.
Her mother squeezed her tighter and sighed, "Oh, darling, you're alright. Dry those tears. It's only a part of life."
Jenny pulled away, "what's 'only a part of life'? I know bleeding is normal, but certainly not bleeding like this! It won't stop!"
Her mum laughed softly and petted her hair. "It's actually the most normal thing in the world. You've become a woman. Come on, let's go talk where your father won't hear." They went into the room that Jenny shared with her younger sister, Christine. Her half of the room was neat and tidy, her bed made and her desk clear. 10-year-old Christine's half was noticeably unkempt and covered in cotton squares, evidence of the quilt she had started and had yet to finish. Jenny sat on her own bed with her mother.
Her mum explained the particulars. Her cycle would come every month. It would last a few days, during which she would wear a sanitary belt and pad. Her mother went to fetch the two. Jenny put the belt on under her clothes in the bathroom, perplexed by the straps hanging down in the front and back. When she opened the box of Kotex pads, she realized she was meant to clip it in the front and back. It felt awful - bulky and unstable. The pad was the size of a chalk eraser and refused to stay in place.
Her mother taught her how to wash the blood out of her skirt with cold water and lifebuoy soap. By the time Christine arrived home from her primary school, Jenny was in the kitchen baking cake for them to have with their tea. The family of 4 sat down together at 4:30 and politely discussed the weather and the changing bus schedules while nibbling on Victorian sponge. It had been like this since her father had come home from serving his National Service in France.
Jenny followed the conversation, but she couldn't focus. Her stomach and back were sore, she was tired, and she could feel the blood dripping onto her sanitary towel. How was she supposed to act normally when she felt so monumentally different than she had the day before! Despite how poorly she felt, Jenny also felt proud. She was a woman now. She quite liked the sound of that.
Now, however, it felt like a damn nuisance. At 24 years old, a midwife, Jenny knew a great deal more about the physiological side of her period than she had at 14. She also knew that it wasn't going to stop hurting, despite the tablet she had taken the night before.
She sat at the bedside of a woman in labor, trying not to focus on her belly pain. She wanted all of her attention to be on the patient. "I know it's been a long night, but you're doing so well." She told the woman.
Joan's mother, Mrs. Wiggs popped into the room. "She ain't had nothing to eat since dinner last night, it's no wonder she's weak." She said with concern. "I brought her an iced bun. Homemade."
"I hate iced buns!" Came the earnest response. Jenny knew it was only because Joan was in pain.
"Not just now, Mrs. Wiggs. Maybe later." Jenny said.
Mrs. Wiggs nodded, but hesitated. "Do you want it?" She asked Jenny.
Jenny paused. She wasn't supposed to eat while she was at a bedside, it was protocol to go without for the duration of a mother's labor. But she was famished. That bun looked like the best thing in the world. "Actually, I'd love it." She said, shyly.
Mrs. Wiggs smiled. She lifted the bun to Jenny's mouth, and she took a grateful bite. Jenny sighed and smiled. It had been a long night for all of them, but that bun was enough to lift her mood.
Shortly after, Joan gave birth to a perfect little boy. Once Jenny had delivered the placenta and finished cleaning up, she left the boy to his parents and his grandmother and she set off towards Nonnatus house.
That is, the new Nonnatus house! Only two blocks off from their old home that had been damaged by the bomb blast, the new Nonnatus was a standalone building on a pretty street. A garden allotment sat right out front. As she wheeled up to the shed to park her bike, Jenny noticed the 5 chimney stacks all in a line atop the roof, and they reminded her of soldiers watching guard. She took that as a good omen and went in to explore her new home.
Her first priority was finding her things. She needed to get a new pad and change out the one she'd fastened before she left the old Nonnatus house for her delivery the night before.
She followed the sound of a record player up the stairs and found Trixie folding clothes in a bedroom. "Knock-knock." Jenny called out, pushing the door open.
Trixie pulled the needle off of the record and smiled brightly. "Guess what! They've put us in together." She giggled. "We can shimmy to the Dansette every night, like Pinky and Perky."
"Well, where's Cynthia?" Jenny asked, setting down her clinical bag.
"Well, they put her in the box room at the end. We tossed a coin." Trixie said. "You don't mind, do you?" She added as an afterthought. "I've never heard anyone say that I snore."
"Trixie, I could sleep in the funnel of the Queen Mary right now." Jenny said. She pulled off her coat and laid down on the far bed, which wasn't covered in Trixie's things. She was suddenly overcome by her cramps.
"Milk tray?" Trixie asked, offering. "They were a gift from the bunion lady on Colette street. I've eaten the Turkish Delight."
"Mmm… I'll have the lime barrel and the almond whirl." Jenny said. She wrapped her arms around her midsection and squeezed, hoping for the pain to go away. "I'll ruin my lunch but I don't care."
Trixie grimaced. "If I were you, I'd eat the chocolates and just sneak forty winks. Chummy's bringing lunch." Both the women giggled. Chummy was not exactly known for being a wonder in the kitchen.
An hour later, Jenny awoke with a start. She hadn't really meant to fall asleep, only to rest her eyes. Trixie must have gone down to lunch without her. Jenny got herself up and was vexed to see that her sanitary napkin had leaked, trailing blood all down the back of her uniform.
She wrapped her red sweater around her waist, just as she had done so many years ago, and set off to find her suitcase to get new clothes and pads. She checked the box room, but only Cynthia's things were in there yet. They weren't in the entryway either. Nor in the sitting room… Now Jenny was growing impatient.
Suddenly, sister Julienne appeared around the corner. "Oh! Nurse Lee! Would you mind letting our new Sister Winifred accompany you on your rounds this afternoon?"
Jenny smiled. "Of course."
"Wonderful." Sister Julienne clasped her hands and headed back towards the kitchen where she had come from.
Jenny followed. "Sister, might you have any idea where my things could be? I can't seem to find them."
Cynthia popped her head in from the entryway. "Jenny! I've seen them in the clinical room."
"What on Earth are they doing there?" Jenny murmured. She retrieved her suitcase and basket and hauled both up the stairs. When she arrived back, Trixie was once again unpacking her things.
"Goodness, how much did you bring?" Jenny looked around at the room, already covered in Trixie's things. She closed the door behind her.
Trixie laughed. "Only the essentials! Makeup, clothes, music."
At her bed, Jenny opened her suitcase. Pads and knickers were on the top, so she went to the loo first thing and got that sorted. She left the stained underwear to soak in a bucket in the laundry room.
Back in her shared bedroom, Jenny pulled a new uniform out of her suitcase, then hesitated. She didn't know what she was supposed to do now that she shared a room. Was she supposed to change in front of Trixie or go to the bathroom? It felt rude to hog the shared bathroom when she didn't really need it.
As if reading her mind, Trixie spoke up, "Don't worry, I won't look!" And she proved herself by turning to organize her records on the shelf.
Jenny blushed and began unbuttoning her old dress. She changed into a fresh one and re-buttoned. "All good!" She said.
Trixie turned back around and spotted Jenny inspecting the stain. It was rather large. "Goodness! Is that from a patient or from you?"
"It's my own, I'm afraid." Jenny said, surprised by how at ease she felt with her best friend. Before coming to Nonnatus, she never would have admitted to menstruating, even to her mother. Past the first incidence, of course. And absolutely never to her friends. It felt too embarrassing.
"You poor girl. The curse has struck with a vengeance."
Jenny laughed. "I suppose so." Here, things were different. The midwives' job revolved around femininity. They celebrated every aspect of The Woman, and bleeding was simply one of those.
Jenny headed back down to the laundry and rinsed her dress and got it soaking with her other things. Laundry at Nonnatus House was quite used to seeing blood. She'd take care of it after she got back from her afternoon rounds with Sister Winifred.
In the meantime, she was a woman, same as she had been all those years ago. Same as all of the midwives who she called her friends. Same as all of her mothers. They shared the collective pain and unique joy that came from it. Today, despite the pain and the hassle, she was proud to be a woman.