I do NOT own Criminal Minds, or any of the characters.
A/N: So this is a story idea that I had a long time ago, but recently I haven't been able to get it out of my mind. So I decided to just write it.
I hope you will enjoy this different spin on Hotch and JJ's relationship. I've always thought he was very fatherly towards her. While Haley is in this story, I will be mainly focusing on Hotch and JJ. Enjoy!
A Bump In The Road
16 year old Aaron Hotchner wiped his clammy hands on his jeans in an attempt to hide just how nervous he felt. Taking a deep breath, ignoring the way his stomach was somersaulting, he opened the car door and made his way toward his girlfriend Haley's house.
Said girlfriend was the source of his nerves. Aaron was usually able to stay calm, a skill he had had to learn growing up with the family he had, but a single message from Haley had turned him into a nervous wreck. Haley had said 'they needed to talk', and she didn't sound like it would be the happy kind of talk.
Aaron clenched his hands as he walked, feeling as if he was marching towards his death. Granted he had limited experience in relationships, Haley being his first serious girlfriend, but he knew enough to know that 'we need to talk' didn't bode well. 'We need to talk' usually translated to 'we are breaking up', and he couldn't face the thought of losing Haley. She was the best thing in his life.
Taking a deep breath as he reached the door, Aaron summoned up the courage to ring the bell. He really hoped it would be Haley who answered the door. Feeling as nervous as he was, Aaron didn't think he couldn't bear it if he had to face anyone in her family at the moment, especially Haley's father who seemed to dislike him.
Aaron heard someone walking towards the door. Taking one last deep breath in a desperate attempt to hide his nerves, Aaron tried to school his features to appear calm. Unfortunately it wasn't Haley who answered the door, it was her older sister Jessica. When Jessica saw who it was at the door she glared at Aaron with such contempt that he felt his heart rate speed up and his calm demeanour slipping. He didn't know what he had done to warrant such a look, he normally got on well with Jessica.
"What do you want?" She spat at him.
Taken aback at her hostility towards him, Aaron momentarily froze before he regained his composure. After all, he was used to being spoken to like that at home, and he knew how to be polite in the face of it.
"Hi Jessica, I'm here to see Haley." Aaron said as politely as possible.
"Don't you think you've done enough?" She growled.
"What?... Um…She said she wanted me to come over." He managed to stutter. Things were going far worse than he could have imagined.
"Haley's in her room, and she won't come out. She's been crying all day. So whatever you did you better make it right, or don't bother showing your face here again." The bitterness in her voice made him flinch.
Aaron felt a rush of indignation, how could she accuse him of being the reason Haley was crying? He would never knowingly do anything to hurt her. Jessica's accusation stung, but he pushed his anger aside. Haley was crying, and right now that was the most important thing. He needed to talk to her.
"Can I please go and speak to her, Jessica?"
"Fine!" She huffed, "But if she doesn't want to see you, you need to leave." Jessica warned, standing back to let him in.
"I will. Thank you." Aaron said quietly as he walked past her, making his way straight to Haley's room.
Haley's door was closed when Aaron reached it. He debated for a moment, maybe she really didn't want to see him, maybe he should just leave right then. His anxiety was at its peak so leaving would be the easier thing to do. Deciding that would be cowardly, and he Aaron Hotchner was not a coward, he knocked on the door.
As he was about to knock again, he heard a muffled "Go away!" from behind the door. Aaron felt torn, she clearly didn't want to speak to anyone, but she had called him to say she wanted to talk to him. Besides, he thought, she didn't know who was at the door, she could be saying 'go away' to anyone. Sighing he tried again.
"Haley, it's me Aaron. Will you open up?" He called gently.
A few seconds later the door swung open, and Haley launched herself into Aaron's arms and started sobbing.
"Haley! What's the matter?" An alarmed Aaron asked, as he instinctively started to rub his hands up and down her back soothingly, his heart breaking with every sob.
After a few minutes of her sobbing into his chest with no answer, Aaron tried again. "Haley, talk to me. What's going on?" He tried to keep his voice as reassuring as possible. Inside he was in a full blown panic. What could have possibly made Haley this upset?
Pulling back from Aaron's embrace, Haley went into her room, motioning for him to follow her. Aaron willingly obliged, and made his way into the room, closing the door behind him at Haley's silent instructions.
When the door was firmly shut Haley finally spoke, "Aaron, I don't think I can do this."
At these words Aaron felt his heart shatter. This couldn't be happening, Haley was his world. He couldn't lose her, he just couldn't. She made everything more bearable, and lord knew how much he had to bear. Aaron felt a wave of desperation wash over him.
"Haley, please don't break up with me! Whatever I've done, I'll fix it. Please just don't end things, give me a chance." He begged. For as long as he could remember, Aaron had vowed to never beg anyone, but this was different. This was Haley, and he adored Haley. Hell he loved her.
"No, Aaron.." Haley mumbled, trying to pull herself together. That one word sent a wave of misery through Hotch.
"Haley…"
Haley took a deep breath before she cut him off, "No Aaron, it's not that. I don't want to break up with you. That's the last thing I want to do." She sniffled.
Aaron felt a wave of relief so intense that he felt as if he could cry. She wasn't breaking up with him. He walked over and wrapped her in his arms, nuzzling his face into her hair. Being pressed against his chest made Haley's tears start afresh. Now that the initial wave of relief had passed, Aaron's concern had come rushing back as he felt Haley's tears soaking into his t-shirt.
"What is it, Haley? What's wrong? Tell me so that I can try to help you." He murmured gently into her hair, holding her tightly.
At his well-intentioned words Haley burst into a renewed round of sobbing.
"My…my life is ruined!" she managed to blurt out in between heaving sobs.
Aaron's concern was quickly morphing into panic. He hated seeing Haley this distressed, and he felt helpless because he had no idea what was causing it.
"Haley, please talk to me. Whatever it is, we can face it together. Let me help you." He pleaded.
Still not saying anything Haley pulled away from him. She walked over to her dresser and opened the draw. After rummaging through it Haley picked something up, and walked back to Aaron, handing it to him.
Aaron took the proffered item and stared at it blankly, he had no idea what it was. He had never felt like such a clueless 16 year old boy as he did in that moment. Staring down at what looked like a stick, and back up to Haley's expectant gaze, he felt confused.
"Haley? I don't understand, what is it?"
"I'm pregnant, Aaron"
Aaron was stunned. His mind went completely blank. He had no idea how to process this revelation.
Pregnant?
Fuck, she was pregnant!
After a minute's silence, Haley burst into tears again. "Now you're probably going to leave me!"
Haley's words acted like a cold shower to Aaron. What kind of man did she think he was? Tossing the pregnancy test onto the bed, he pulled Haley into his arms and lifted her chin up so that she was looking into his eyes.
"Haley, I am not going to leave you!" he said vehemently. "This is a… a problem, I'm not going to lie, but it's a problem we will face together okay?"
Breaking out of his hold, Haley covered her face with her hands, overcome with emotion. She knew Aaron was a good guy, but still his reassurance came as a relief.
"I will be right by your side, Haley. I promise" Aaron said as sincerely as possible.
"Aren't you upset?" Haley asked, looking up at Aaron. She couldn't believe how calm he was. She had been expecting a lot worse. It seemed too good to be true.
Aaron was puzzled by her question. " I don't know Haley…"
"What do you mean you don't know, Aaron? How can you not know!" Haley snapped, she knew it had been too good to be true.
"Haley, calm down. I just meant I haven't had time to process the news yet." Aaron tried to explain. But how could he explain that he was so used to shutting his emotions down, that it took some time for things to sink in. He knew he was emotionally repressed, but that was the way he coped, and it had worked so far. Besides he needed to be calm, Haley was upset enough for the both of them. It would do no good for him to spiral with her.
"Well, let me help you process this Aaron!" Haley said, her voice cracking. "This will ruin everything! We're just kids, Aaron. We both want to go to college. You want to be a lawyer! How will we do that with a baby? How?"
Aaron took a deep breath, the realities of the situation rapidly dawning on him. Haley was right, this was going to ruin everything, but what could they do? He could see his carefully planned future going down the drain. Closing his eyes, Aaron willed himself to be calm. Haley needed him to be strong. He couldn't give in to his fears, at least not yet.
"Haley, calm down…" Seeing she was about to retort, he held up his hand, "No, Haley wait. I'm not saying it won't be tough, because it will be, but we can make it work." Aaron said as calmly as he possibly could be in this situation.
"How, Aaron? How will we make it work? We're sophomores in high school! We don't have jobs! And what about our dreams, Aaron?" Haley said getting more hysterical at every word.
Aaron internally flinched as Haley's voice rose, "Haley, please calm down.".
Haley gave him an incredulous look, "Calm? Aaron, how can I be calm?"
Aaron shrugged, this was far from an ideal situation, it was a fucking mess, but that didn't change the fact that they were in it. He knew from experience that losing control wouldn't change anything. All they could do was to keep calm and find a solution.
"We will work it out, Haley. I'll get a part time job after school." He tried to placate her.
"You're too calm." She accused, "This is a BIG deal, Aaron. Our whole lives are going to change!"
"I know, Haley. Trust me I know, but…" Aaron tried to explain, but Haley cut him off.
"What will my parents say? What will Your parents say? Oh god Aaron, what have we done?" Haley wailed frantically.
Aaron grabbed hold of her "Haley, look at me. Take a deep breath. We will take it one step at a time, okay?" he said while rubbing his hands up and down Haley's arms. When she nodded in response, he pulled her into a hug.
When Aaron was satisfied that she had calmed down enough to have a conversation, he broke away from her, but kept his hands on her waist. "Do you want to keep the baby, Haley?" He asked gently, "That's the first step."
Haley looked up at him with tear filled eyes, "I don't know, Aaron. It will change everything." He nodded, but before he could respond Haley asked "Do you?"
"Honestly, Haley. I don't know either." Aaron said nervously rubbing the back of his head. He knew that this was a life changing decision, and the weight of it was crushing, but ultimately he knew the choice wasn't his to make. Taking a deep breath he continued. "Haley, it has to be your choice. You're the one who will have to go through the pregnancy, and all the gossip that will come with it. It will be worse for you."
"I know, Aaron, but I don't want to make the choice alone…" Haley said meekly, she was physically and emotionally exhausted. She didn't know what to do.
Seeing the uncertainty in her eyes, Aaron guided her to the bed and pulled her onto his lap, cradling her to his chest. "You're not alone, sweetheart. Whatever you…" seeing the glare she shot him, he quickly corrected, "we decide. I'll support you." he said, trying to console her.
Seeing that she still looked unsure, he carried on, "If you want to keep the baby, I know I couldn't have picked a better mother for my child." Aaron felt himself choking up a bit, he really meant what he said. "If it means I have to give up going to college so that you keep the baby, I will." As he said it, Aaron knew it was true. He would do anything to protect Haley, and his child.
"And if I don't…" Haley whispered.
"If you don't, then I'll still be here Haley. I'm not going anywhere." Aaron said just as quietly, sincerity ringing in every word.
"I can't make you give up your dreams Aaron." Haley said brokenly, her voice muffled as she nuzzled into his shoulder.
"You won't be making me honey." Aaron soothed, rubbing circles on her back.
"I think I want the baby. I just don't know how we will make it work."
Aaron nodded, "We'll find a way."
As Aaron drove home his mind was reeling. It felt as if his whole world had been turned upside down. Away from Haley, his own panic was setting in. He felt his chest tighten and his throat constrict. All the ramifications of what this meant came crashing down on him, his thoughts began to spiral. Haley was pregnant! He wasn't ready to be a father! What would he even do with a baby? How would he finish school? Was he really willing to give up his dream of college, and of being a lawyer? He didn't think he was, but what choice did he have now? Aaron wanted to cry with disappointment as he felt his dreams slipping away. How could he have made such a huge mistake. He thought they had been so careful. His father was right about him; he was a monumental fuck up, making bad choice after bad choice.
Oh god, his father!
His father was going to kill him. If there was one thing he knew his father prized above all else, it was his reputation. And now he, Aaron, was going to bring embarrassment to the whole family. Aaron gave an involuntary shudder, he didn't even want to think about what his father would do to him when he found out. Pushing that thought aside, he thought of his mother. While she had many failings, Aaron hated to disappoint her. She was a religious church goer, and he knew that a child out of wedlock was the ultimate shame he could bring upon her. He knew she wanted him to have a better life than she did. How could he amount to anything now? He wouldn't even be able to go to college. More than that his mother wanted him to be better than his father. Could he be? So far his life choices showed otherwise. He was a bad seed.
Maybe Haley's father had been right about him from the start. He was bad for her. Look at what he had done to her. Aaron felt his stomach drop as his thoughts continued to spiral out of control. How would Haley's family react to the news? It certainly wouldn't make them like him more. Aaron felt a rush of panic, what if they stopped him from seeing Haley. Could he blame them? He couldn't, but the thought of not being a part of Haley's, and he conceded the baby's life, was unbearable. What was he going to do?
In a mixture of despair and frustration, Aaron slammed the steering wheel. Fuck, this was a mess. Haley was right, his life was ruined.
A week later, Aaron and Haley found themselves in the waiting room of a crisis pregnancy clinic. They wanted to be sure the results of the test had been correct. Haley had had blood tests done, and now they were waiting for the doctor to do the scan.
In the week that had passed, both Aaron and Haley had gone back and forth about whether or not they wanted to keep the baby. They still hadn't decided. That's why Aaron had suggested a visit to the clinic, so that they could get all the facts and discuss their options with a doctor.
If Aaron was honest with himself, he didn't want to give up his dream of being a lawyer. It was something he had wanted to do since he was a child. It was what he had worked so hard for. He ran a hand through his hair. One mistake was going to change the whole course of his life. Biting his lip, Aaron knew that ultimately, no matter what the outcome was, he would have to step up to the plate and take responsibility. There was absolutely no way he would run away from this. He wasn't a coward, and he hoped he was a better man than that.
If he was going to be a dad, then he would do his best to rise to the occasion and try to be the best dad he could be. He had already started looking for jobs. With a soft sigh Aaron thought about what being a dad meant.
If he was even more honest with himself, he was terrified of the type of dad he would be. He was afraid he would end up being like his own father, a cold and cruel man. Aaron couldn't help thinking what if he turned out exactly like him? Aaron knew his child deserved better than that. But did he know how to be better? Thinking about his father caused Aaron to give an involuntary shudder, making Haley, who was leaning against his side, look up.
"Are you okay?" She asked, her own eyes brimming with fear.
"Yeah, just nervous." He lied, forcing a small smile to reassure her. Well it wasn't a complete lie.
Before they could say anymore, Haley's name was called out. Giving each other one last nervous glance, they got up and followed the nurse.
Aaron held Haley's hand as they prepped her for the scan. Her grip on his hand was tight, but he didn't complain, he could feel how nervous she was. Her nerves mirrored his own, but for Haley's sake, he kept an outwardly calm and reassuring expression.
When the doctor came in, Aaron felt as if he would explode from the tension.
"Hello, I am Dr Randles." She greeted them with a smile.
Aaron and Haley were both instantly relieved, she seemed friendly and non-judgmental. They both responded with their own timid 'hello's'. Despite how friendly she seemed, they were still nervous.
"Okay, Haley. I'm going to do an ultrasound, that's where we will look at the baby so that we can determine how far along you are, okay?"
Haley gave a small nod.
"Great, there's no need to be nervous. I'm just going to put some gel on your stomach, it will be a little cold, but it's not going to hurt." The doctor said kindly.
Haley gave another nod, and gripped Aaron's hand more tightly.
The doctor squirted gel onto Haley's stomach, and pressed the ultrasound wand onto it. After a few minutes she looked up at them, and asked "Would you two like to hear the heartbeat?"
Aaron looked to Haley, who shook her head. He squeezed her hand. They had talked about this before the appointment, but he had wanted to check that she hadn't changed her mind. Until they had made a decision, they didn't want to get attached.
Aaron looked up at the doctor, "No, thank you. We um, we don't know if we want to keep the baby yet." he said apologetically.
The doctor gave them a sympathetic smile. "Well, I'm afraid that's not really an option anymore. You are too far along for an abortion. I estimate your baby is due in about four and a half months."
Aaron felt the blood drain from his face as the reality of the doctor's words sunk in. He was going to be a father!
A/N: There's the first chapter. I hope you enjoyed it. Please leave a review and let me know what you think about this chapter, and this story idea in general. Your reviews mean a lot to me!
PS: If anyone is interested in being a Beta reader, or just someone I can bounce ideas off of let me know!
