Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters. However, since Rowling discarded my favourite characters I picked them up and took them into my care to give them the love and attention they deserve...and occasionally give them reason to need that love and attention no matter how much they deserve it without needing a reason.
Summary: Only days ago everything had been normal, but after that terrible Halloween, everything is destroyed and unbreakable bonds are torn apart….or are they?
Warnings: Strong bromance, can't stomach boys being extremely close without it being sexual, then this is not the story for you and you should hit the return button.
This story is part of a series called A Bond of Family. If you are interested in reading the entire series, then the chronological order can be found on my profile.
Special thanks to Kitty for beta-ing this story for me and giving me endless support and inspiration for this series. Thank you for your endless patience with my grammar and for all the lessons you've taught me and are still trying to stamp into my brain.
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Remus took off his coat and hung it up almost automatically before making his way into the silent apartment, eyes falling onto the ridiculously ugly ceramic R2 cookie jar Peter had brought with him as a joke only a few days before and he remembered how Sirius and James had laughed at his horrified face.
Only days ago everything had still been normal and his mouth opened to scream, but no sound came out as he sank to the ground; the truth and depth of what had happened fully registering.
Nothing would ever be normal again as they were gone, they were all gone and the one person he had always trusted beyond a doubt had been responsible for it.
His closest friend; his one constant through everything had led them all to their deaths and although he had been warned, he hadn't wanted to believe any of it.
Even when Peter had hesitantly sought him out after the elderly Potters had been murdered, quietly asking how Sirius had managed to survive prolonged torture like that when no one else ever had.
And no one had. The Prewett brothers were the perfect example of that so how had Sirius survived as although his injuries had been severe, they had been nothing James wouldn't have been able to treat enough to keep him alive.
Was it possible their old friend had already been turned then? Had everything been a lie?
Folding in on himself, he fought to draw in a breath at the knowledge that if only he'd taken Peter more seriously, if only he'd listened at least he might have survived. That wasn't the only time his dear friend had expressed his concern to him, had done so multiple times, always hesitant and always nervous the way he usually got if there was something seriously bothering him, but he hadn't listened.
Even when Dumbledore himself had expressed his concern about Sirius' recent behaviour, he hadn't wanted to believe the worst of his oldest friend; hadn't wanted to believe it could be true that Sirius was the traitor.
His refusal to trust them had cost him everything and James, Lily and Peter had paid the ultimate price for his ignorance; a child orphaned because he hadn't acted when he himself had seen the signs. And all because he simply hadn't wanted to believe his dear old friend could ever be the traitor.
Why? Why had Sirius turned his back on everything they'd ever believed in, everything they fought for? What reason could he possibly have had to betray them all?
It couldn't have been power as Sirius had plenty of that himself and he'd always been adamant he hated anything to do with the dark arts, so why?
Squeezing his eyes tightly shut, he tried to silence the screaming voice inside of him; fighting to compose himself as he rolled onto his side and curled into a ball; trying to prevent the recent events from coming back to him.
But it was no use as he could still see James' lifeless body being brought out of the destroyed house by Hagrid as the Fidelius was still active and only those in on the secret could enter; a secret he had not been privy to as James had clearly suspected him to be the traitor instead of the one who truly was.
It was adding insult to injury that he couldn't even make sure his friend and his wife were treated with the respect they deserved, even though Hagrid tried to be utterly gentle in his handling of their bodies and of little Peter there wasn't even enough left to be properly buried.
He wondered if Sirius had stood there before James' lifeless body and looked down at him, if he'd laughed then too at how utterly stupid and naive they had all been to not have seen it coming. Or would he have shed a tear for how far things had had to come?
He'd always known how impressive Sirius' magic had been, seen how ingenious his old friend was and it had always awed him, the things Sirius could do with his magic. But he'd also seen how brutal and vicious his fighting style had become over the last few months, yet he'd never thought that same sheer power would've ever been turned against any of their friends; against little Peter.
He could almost see how Sirius might have killed Peter without any remorse as Peter had always been cowardly and stupid. Maybe Sirius had finally become fed up with his irritating behaviour and just got rid of him but for the life of him he couldn't imagine the same for James.
Had James' death been something already planned or had it been a spur of the moment betrayal? Had Sirius perhaps pleaded with his old master to spare him while he killed the child and Lily and had James' death only occurred because he'd tried to protect his family?
Or had Sirius simply not cared at all and just stood by as the people he'd always claimed were family were slaughtered. Had he watched it happen or had he perhaps even requested to be the one to do it in the end? Leaving little defenceless Harry to his master while he took care of James, knowing Lily would be no match for Voldemort?
How had he reacted when little Harry had managed to do what no one else had managed before and if he had been there, why hadn't he simply finished the job himself?
Or had he only given up the Secret to his master and then shied away from what his betrayal would bring?
'Why Sirius, why did you betray us all?' he couldn't help but wonder over and over again as he laid there; eventually the sound of banging on the door breaking him out of his trance-like state.
Half expecting Aurors to have come to arrest him for being an associate of Sirius, he forced his emotions down and wiped the last tear tracks from his face.
If they were coming to arrest him then he would go with dignity, but opening the door, it was Pandora who pushed through before he could think to say anything.
"Tell me it isn't true?" A half torn news paper was held tightly in her hand as pale silvery eyes stared up to him in despair.
"It's true, Dumbledore confirmed it."
"Con...how can you be so calm? They arrested him!"
He honestly felt anything but calm. "He killed twelve Muggles and Peter."
"You know there is no way he did that," she scoffed.
"He was found laughing at the scene," he wished she would go away and leave him be, but she didn't seem to have any intention of that as she threw the newspaper onto the table.
"That's what he does when he is in deep shock, he laughs. He didn't kill Peter or those Muggles."
"He betrayed James to Voldemort," unsure if she actually knew that, he swallowed thickly as she turned to him incredulously.
"Are you addled? Did you hit your head one too many times?" Her silvery gaze stared into him, piercing him into place as an incredulous look came over her. "Why would you ever think him capable of betraying James?"
"Dumbledore said he confessed...told the entire..."
"Screw Dumbledore, the man is clearly addled," Pandora cut him off. "I don't know what exactly happened but I can guarantee you that he's being framed."
"Sirius was the Secret-Keeper," anger washed over him at the clear refusal to believe a thing he said, like he hadn't considered it all himself already. "He's been a double agent all this time."
It certainly explained how so many of their numbers had dwindled down so rapidly the last few months. Sirius was one of those present for almost all Order meetings and people trusted him, not to mention that he'd always pressed the importance of them knowing where someone was, in case there was trouble.
Scoffing mentally, he realised now just why he'd been so adamant of going against Dumbledore's safety precautions; to ensure he could sell other members out.
"Sirius would sooner die than ever bow down to Voldemort and he would sooner rip himself to pieces than ever betray those he considers family," the conviction in Pandora's voice broke Remus' heart, wishing he could be so certain of that truth as she still seemed to be.
But he couldn't forget how broken Dumbledore had looked when he had called him back from his mission, how the man had been uncharacteristically defeated by the news he had to tell him.
And it was too much, her insistence of his innocence; the knowledge of just had Sirius had done was too much and he snarled as she shook her head. "He is NOT innocent. He betrayed James and killed Peter in cold blood! Blew him up so that there's nothing left but a finger, a finger!"
Immediately he regretted his outburst as Pandora stared at him horrified and an apology was on his lips when she took a shaky step back from him.
"You believe it….you actually believe him to be capable of doing those things."
"Because he did. I didn't want to believe it either, but it's true. He was their Secret-Keeper, actually told Dumbledore as much and apparently confessed to everything. He's been working for Voldemort for nearly a year already, he betrayed us all."
"Poppycock," she scoffed once more, stepped further away from him. "If you believe a single thing of that, then you've clearly never known Sirius at all."
"I guess I didn't," because that was the exact thing he'd been wondering himself ever since hearing the news. Ever since learning the truth of what had happened." "After the last time he betrayed one of us, I truly thought he'd never do it again. That he was loyal."
"You of all people...I never could quite believe you ever believed him to have betrayed you then, but you've clearly learned nothing since. After everything he's done for you; all those times he stood up for you, defended you….took care of you and what he's done for your mother….and you still believe this nonsense."
"He is already in Azkaban."
"What?" The disbelief made place for horror once more as his words registered. "He's not even getting a trial?"
"He did, they rushed it through to get justice as quickly as possible."
"So they botched up his trial and just deemed him guilty without looking at all the facts," she sneered.
"He confessed, Pandora. Dumbledore says he confessed to betraying James and Lily to Voldemort; it's a miracle Harry is still alive! He blew Peter to pieces when he tried to confront him about it and it was in the middle of a street in broad daylight, too and he killed twelve Muggles while doing so. I didn't want to believe it either, didn't want to believe he would be capable of doing all those things, but he did. And no amount of denial is going to change that!"
"I think you're the one in denial," a familiar voice spoke up and Remus swirled around to see both Longbottoms standing in the door opening, staring at him in revolt. "If you believe any of that bull then Lovegood is right and you've clearly never known Sirius at all."
"I..."
"Don't even try. Sirius didn't betray James and he certainly didn't kill Pettigrew. This whole situation is sketchy as hell."
"We know Sirius, he would never betray his family. He would sooner die than cause them harm, almost did several times," the man's wife agreed. "Sirius is being framed for someone else's actions, there is no other option."
"Then we have to find out who was responsible and bring the truth to light," Pandora immediately jumped onto their words.
"We will. He will not be in that hellhole for a moment longer than we can help it."
"We'll travel to the Ministry at first light to get to the bottom of this and we will not rest until he's back with us, where he belongs."
"What do you think you could do? He was convicted," Remus couldn't believe their refusal to believe the truth when it was spelled out right in front of them.
Hard blue eyes turned to Remus. "It's only been hours since James and Lily….since….they couldn't possibly have conducted a decent investigation in that time period. The trial was clearly phony; a joke. No doubt forced by Crouch to take a so called stance against the dark forces."
"He's always had it out for Sirius anyway and would use at any opportunity to toss him in jail," Longbottom agreed with his wife.
"He confessed!" Remus argued desperately.
"Yeah? What did he confess? That he's responsible for their deaths? Because of course he would confess to that, it's the same thing he said when the twins were killed. He was responsible for their deaths because he hadn't been there to help them. They died because he made the choice to not spend the night and thus clearly was responsible for their deaths," Longbottom ran a hand through her short hair as her blue eyes shot fire. "Of course he'd say he's responsible, taking the blame for things not his fault is what he does."
"Dumbledore..."
"Dumbledore is an addled old lunatic who believes the whole world should follow his lead," she interrupted him angrily. "He doesn't know Sirius, doesn't know how his brain works and he's always been suspicious of him just because of his biological surname."
"Dumbledore wouldn't have asked beyond the obvious once Sirius said he was responsible, he would just see what he wants to see and accept it as his truth, no other questions asked," Pandora agreed.
"He was convicted at a trial," he reminded them softly. "He's been acting off for a long time already, I should've seen it. Looking back the signs were there, but I refused to believe it."
"What signs and acting off how?" Longbottom demanded to know so Remus ran a hand through his hair.
"His behaviour and the way he fought. His viciousness when the Prewetts were killed…how he was so distant."
"Distant...don't you mean you were the one distant?" Longbottom bit out. "When Fabian was killed, he needed a friend and we tried to give him to you for comfort, but you were the one pulling back, not him. You were the one forcing distance and from where I stand, he only granted what you so obviously wanted."
"I…he'd been behaving oddly for months."
"You mean odd like strange suspicious behaviour or do you perhaps mean odd because he was grieving the loss of several loved ones?" Blue eyes narrowed. "Because perhaps he was grieving the deaths of his adoptive parents, deaths that he by the way believed he was responsible for."
"I...what?"
"Oh, you didn't know?" She sneered in disdain as her blue eyes hardened. "Of course, why would you know when you clearly believe the worst of him?"
"Ali..."
"No Frank, he's so readily willing to believe in Siri's guilt, then lets give him something to feel guilty about," she cut her husband off. "He believed himself to be responsible for their deaths because in his eyes, they were only killed because the Death Eaters clearly knew where he'd go if there was ever trouble and the worst part? It's probably true."
"I…."
"Everything about that situation screamed that it was a trap that he walked right into and the only reason neither he or Harry were killed that day is because he had the sense to hide Harry and the only reason he wasn't tortured to death was because they needed to know where he'd hidden the boy."
"I..."
"Or perhaps you mean he's been acting oddly ever since his House-Elf friend was killed in front of him, dying to protect him from what really should've been a piece of cake bit of magic for him to avoid? But then he couldn't, could he? Because he'd just been tortured mere weeks before and really hadn't been fit for duty yet, but your precious Dumbledore sent us on a suicide mission without the necessary information and Sirius was the one who responded to our distress call. And because he responded to our cry for help, his dear friend got killed. You mean that kind of odd, Lupin?"
Their words pierced Remus' heart painfully, making him aware of just how little he'd actually been there since they'd became truly active in the war and he realised that maybe, just maybe his own absence had played a large part in why Sirius had chosen to betray them; to betray him.
Because he couldn't have the same conviction of his innocence that they did, couldn't see how they couldn't see how much Sirius had changed over the last year.
"He killed Death Eaters and you've seen what he's done to those who attacked the Prewetts," he'd never forget the pure brutality and viciousness with which Sirius had killed the three Death Eaters responsible for killing the younger Prewett; no doubt retaliating against his own allies for going after someone who had clearly been deemed off limits.
"I did and I still think he went easy on them," Longbottom said calmly.
"Easy? He tore them apart!"
"You mean like they tore apart two of his closest friends?" Pandora asked seething. "Tore someone he loved into pieces and then left him to die in his arms?"
"I'd have done much worse than he did," Longbottom's wife agreed.
He didn't agree with their stance, but could understand it. Yet he refused to let a shimmer of hope through; knowing with absolute certainty that if there had even been a chance of Sirius' innocence, Dumbledore would have gotten to the bottom of it and he said as much.
"How can you just believe that?" Pandora crossed her arms. "How can you not see the truth?"
"I'm not seeing the truth?" He choked. "He killed people! There were witnesses and everything that confirm Peter cornered him. Witnesses who heard Peter asking him how he could betray James and Lily and he blew him up! He blew P-Peter up and all those around them without a single moment of hesitance. He killed them!"
"This is useless," Longbottom placed a hand on Pandora's shoulder, his brown eyes cold as he stared at him. "Let's go."
"But..."
"Let's go, we shouldn't waste our time here," Longbottom's wife agreed as she turned on her heels. "We'll go to Aberforth instead."
Pandora nodded and followed them to the door but paused inside of the frame to turn back to him.
"Sirius was wrong, you know?"
"What?"
"After that supposed prank and you made up, I asked him once if your friendship was truly worth the pain you'd caused him in your anger," silvery eyes pierced through him, the pity in them freezing him in place. "He said you were, but I can see now that he was wrong."
"Sirius deserves better than a so called friend who will so readily believe him capable of betraying the people he loved more than life itself,. You've never deserved him," with those parting words she walked through the opening and closed the door.
Anger flashed through him and he turned around to grab the ugly cookie jar to throw it against the wall where it scattered; scattered much like his own heart had done and suddenly the tears that hadn't come before burst out of him all at once and he screamed.
Screamed at the unfairness of it all as he grabbed anything he could reach to throw it against the wall, slamming his fist into the little painting hanging besides the door; not even feeling the blood seeping down his busted knuckles as he sank down to the ground once more, choking on his own tears.
How could Sirius have destroyed the best thing they had ever had, for what? Why?
How could he have betrayed their family and everything they believed in?
How could he have betrayed him and why, why hadn't he killed him, too?
Why did he leave him alive while he'd caused the death of their entire family, Remus wondered and wished with all his heart that Sirius had killed him, too.
Because death was much preferred to being left with this knowledge, with this pain and despair, being left with a broken heart.