Thank you for reading. I appreciate that you took the time to be here.

Expressions and Symbols

"Oengus, why are you still up and about when the hour is so late?"

He paused his walk. He turned to see the Queen of Light floating down the hall, approaching him. Outside the windows, the night sky was deep black, but the many lights dotting the hallway walls enabled him to see her rather clearly. She appeared the same as always – the long white dress, the flowing red hair, and the wings that allowed her to hover slightly above the floor instead of walking.

"Greetings, Queen Aurora," he said. "I am patrolling the castle to ensure that all is safe."

"Shouldn't you rest? At this time of night, most folks are asleep."

"I don't sleep," he reminded her.

"Yes, I know, but surely you would still benefit from having some time off your feet. Oengus, you work so hard for me. I cannot help but feel sympathy. Can't you take a break, even occasionally?"

He regarded her curiously. "I might ask you the same. Should you not be in bed currently?"

For a second, she seemed taken aback, but then she quickly conceded. "I suppose you're right. Indeed, it's late, so I ought to go to my room and turn in for the night. Would you mind accompanying me?"

"I will do as you command, my lady."

Aurora winced. She muttered, "That wasn't a command, truly. You take your duties so seriously that you never really . . . oh, never mind. Let us go, you and I."

For a while, all was silent as the two of them journeyed through the castle together. This late at night, they didn't encounter anybody else wandering around. The air felt so peaceful, it was almost dreamlike.

There had been no such peace under Umbra's malicious reign. Lemuria had long suffered under the Dark Queen. And then, even after Aurora and her group defeated the enemies, chaos remained for a while yet, as they dealt with the massive task of aiding the flood survivors who'd fled Austria and needed new homes in Lemuria. Aurora's earliest days as queen had challenged her.

But time passed, and by now, matters in Lemuria had finally settled down. Villagers felt safe in their homes. The Queen of Light grew more and more into her position with each passing day. Life had become remarkably tranquil.

The dark creatures that once roamed the land now seemed like a near-forgotten memory. It was hard to imagine any dangers jumping out of the shadows to threaten them. Even so, Oengus didn't want to abandon all caution. He assumed the queen felt the same way. It must be the reason she asked him to guard her, even on a simple trip to her room.

Unexpectedly, Aurora's soft voice broke into the silence. "Oengus?"

"Yes?"

"I know I've said this to you before, but I really cannot say it enough times. Thank you for everything you have done since coming to my side. Many people are eager to view me as a babyish little girl who needs too much help. Often, even I underestimate myself. But you . . . you never went easy on me. Even during my darkest hour, you pushed me mercilessly. Back then, I felt bitter toward you and I shed countless tears. But in the end, I am grateful that you made me face my fears."

He pictured the small girl in the cage, with her trembling fingers on the flute and the streaks of tears on her dirty face. The memory remained clear in his mind. He recalled his own voice as he yelled at her. "Coward!" And then he freed her from the shackles, but only after she promised him that she would rise up as the Princess of Light and fight against Lemuria's darkness.

"Sometimes," Oengus said, "I wonder if I treated you too harshly back then. You had just been betrayed by your sister, who you thought was your reliable defender and friend. I know how it feels to be cast out by a precious sibling." He and his brother Cuchulain were back on good terms nowadays, but Oengus never forgot the iciness that had seized his chest, during the brief period when he'd been banished from the Kategida clan. "Perhaps I should've met you with more understanding."

Aurora shook her head vigorously. "No, no! That's not what I want you to say. If you had coddled me – if you hadn't forced my hand – then Lemuria never would've been saved. Your strictness was necessary. Because of you, I grew into the mighty warrior I was meant to be."

"I see. Thank you for the kind words, Your Majesty. But I believe the credit can be shared by all those you've met, not only me."

Absorbed in the conversation, he almost didn't notice that they'd reached her bedroom door. He stopped walking abruptly. She stopped as well.

"We've arrived," said Oengus.

"Ah, y-yes. This is where we're supposed to say good night." But Aurora made no move toward the door. Her face seemed uneasy.

"Is something wrong, my queen?" Oengus asked.

She responded so quietly that he barely heard her. "No, nothing. Only a fantasy unseen."

"Hmm? I'm afraid I don't know what you mean."

Her eyes glanced at the door, then shifted back to him. She took a deep breath. She announced, "Before I retire for the night, I wish to say something important to you."

"Of course. I will listen to your message, all the way through."

"Thank you." She paused. "Before I say anything, may I take your hand, please?"

Although he was puzzled, he said, "As you wish, Your Majesty."

Oengus held out his hand. With slow and careful motions, Aurora grasped his large hand in both of her own. She was being cautious in order to avoid his long, sharp claws. At least, that was his initial idea. But as the moments ticked by, and they stayed immobile, he sensed something odd in her manner. She held his hand as if it was a glass ornament. Delicate – and treasured.

Her mouth formed a nervous smile.

He waited for her to speak.

"Oh, dear. This is harder than I thought," Aurora mumbled. "I am . . . uh, I mean, this is not –"

Gently, Oengus withdrew his hand. His heart pounded uncomfortably. All of a sudden, he had realized what she was about to say.

The queen gazed at him, her eyes wide, her cheeks flushed red.

She was the ruler of Lemuria. She was a warrior, tough and courageous. But, on some level, she was also a mere girl. The power bestowed upon her by the moon and sun didn't render her immune to errors. Indeed, as Oengus now witnessed, she had made a silly mistake in falling in love with him.

He said stiffly, "I am sorry. I cannot give you the answer you'd like."

She released a long breath. "It's okay. This is what I expected to hear in your reply."

Her voice sounded steady, but he suspected that she was working hard to keep her composure. He would never find out exactly how heartbroken she truly felt underneath.

His stomach ached. Serving as the queen's protector was his highest mission in life. It felt wrong that he was now hurting her. But what choice did he have? He wouldn't give her false hope.

"Pardon my advice, but maybe you should seek somebody who is more similar to you." Oengus gestured toward himself, at his claws, his horns, his bluish-green mane. "If you and I were together, I . . . I'm unsure what we could do."

She chuckled. Warmth and fondness were in that little laugh. "I care nothing for how you look on the outside. What draws me to you is the wonderful character on the inside."

"I'm afraid that my insides are unsuitable, too. Among all of your companions, I am the one who feels the least personal affection for you. I believe you knew this, didn't you?"

Her shoulders sagged. "Ah . . . yes, of course I knew."

While Rubella, Finn, and the others called her Aurora, the Kategida soldier had always addressed her as princess, and then queen. And even though she disliked the title, she'd allowed this from him. From the beginning of their acquaintance, she'd understood how badly he needed her to play that role.

In the past, to save the lives of his clan, he'd broken his own code of honor and offered himself as a servant to the Dark Queen. He became a lackey to the enemy and a traitor to his allies. Every day, he had to swallow his own pain, but he pinned his hopes on the notion that a savior of light would someday appear. When he met Aurora, she didn't have the luxury of behaving as a scared little girl around him. He required her to be a shining champion that he could count on.

That was how he viewed her before, and despite the current peace, his vision stayed the same today. In his eyes, she wasn't completely a real person. She was a figure, a symbol, a source of inspiration and a reason to go into battle. If she became anything other than the Queen of Light, he could not be happy.

Aurora glanced at her bedroom door. Obviously, she was aware that this conversation had reached a dead end, and her best option was to simply leave him and go to sleep. And yet, it appeared that she just couldn't help lingering in this spot for a bit longer. "Do you believe I'll find romance elsewhere someday?"

"My apologies, but I cannot say."

"Right, it's unreasonable to ask you to predict the future, which nobody can see. Forgive me. Oh, I'm so sorry for bothering you tonight."

"It's all right."

Worries tugged at his heart, but he knew that he was incapable of doing a thing for her. He was her royal bodyguard, not her friend or family. He could protect and serve the queen. He could not comfort the girl.

He wished that her father was here. If only that man could give his daughter a hug as she experienced one of the pains of growing up. But that was not to be. Her father slumbered in his grave. Aurora had to grow up on her own. In many ways, she already had.

Oengus turned, intending to walk down the hall and make his exit. But he paused a moment and faced her again. "Queen Aurora, I don't know what will happen in the coming days. But I trust that you'll stand eternally strong and brave, no matter what challenges come your way."

Aurora managed to show a faint smile. "Thanks. I do feel a bit cheered by what you say." She opened her bedroom door and took one step in. "And now, the hour is really too late! I must let you go."

She glanced over her shoulder, to look at him one final time – he was startled by the pure longing he saw in her expression – and then she turned her head away from him. As she pulled the door closed, she said it again, soft but clear.

"I must let you go."

END