Evan Buckley, or Buck as most knew him, sat alone in the dimly lit room of his apartment. His gaze was fixed, almost unblinkingly, on the newspaper resting on the wooden table before him. It was a gleaming testament to his valor, a tangible symbol of his survival through a harrowing ordeal, and yet, as he stared at it, he couldn't help but feel an overwhelming surge of emotions.
The newspaper cover depicted an image that will forever hunt Buck for the rest of his life. In it showed a bloodied Buck, whose leg was crushed underneath a fire engine. It had been published when he had surviving the terrible bombing incident that had upended his life. He remembered that day so vividly, the chaos and the deafening roar of the explosion. Shrapnel had flown through the air, and in the midst of the mayhem, a firetruck had been hurled onto his leg, pinning him beneath its massive weight. It was a moment that had marked the end of his career as a firefighter, a job that had been more than just a profession – it had been a calling, a part of his identity.
His fingers traced the contours of the medal, feeling the cold, unfeeling metal beneath his touch. It wasn't the medal itself that filled him with such a complex mix of emotions, but what it represented. There was a palpable undercurrent of hate, not directed at the medal, but rather at the cruel twist of fate that had put it there in the first place. He resented how it had all unraveled, how he had been robbed of the life he had cherished.
Sadness welled up within him as well, a deep, heavy sorrow that seemed to have taken up residence in his chest. The silence in the room seemed to echo louder than the sirens and the camaraderie of the firehouse ever had. It was as if the world he had known, the life he had led, had vanished, leaving behind a desolate emptiness.
But the bombing was just one chapter in the book of his recent trials. Buck had also endured the terror of a tsunami, and the mere thought of water now sent shivers down his spine. The tsunami had swept through his life like a tidal wave, leaving behind a deep-seated fear of drowning. Every drop of water that touched his face was a cruel reminder of the chaos and helplessness he had felt.
The tsunami had become an inseparable part of his nightmares, and now, even a mere droplet of water was enough to trigger that sensation of drowning. The memories of that day, the deafening roar of the raging waters, the sensation of being pulled under, and the fight to stay afloat, all continued to haunt him like relentless ghosts. It was as if he were trapped in an unending cycle of terror, reliving that moment of helplessness over and over again.
Yet, amidst all the trauma and turmoil, there was one emotion that weighed on him most heavily – guilt. It was an unshakable burden he carried, a sense of responsibility that crushed him like a boulder. The tsunami had separated him from someone dear to him – Christopher, the son of his best friend Eddie. He had been entrusted with Christopher's safety, and the weight of failing to protect the young boy felt like an unbearable burden on his soul.
The guilt he carried from the tsunami weighed on him like an anchor. He had lost Christopher, the bright and spirited son of his best friend Eddie, during the chaos. As his thoughts drifted back to that fateful day, his heart clenched with the immense responsibility he had been entrusted with. He had promised Eddie to watch over his son, to keep him safe, and that promise had been shattered as the tsunami's relentless power had torn them apart.
Thankfully, Buck had saved Chris from falling off the fire truck and kept him beside Captain Cooper until Chris had reunited with Eddie. The reunion with his father, Eddie, had been a heartwarming and beautiful moment. But it didn't absolve Buck of the guilt that gnawed at him. It was a guilt that had etched itself deeply into his soul, like a scar that refused to fade. He had failed to keep his promise, even if the outcome had ultimately been a happy one. It was an emotional paradox that left him feeling trapped, grateful for Christopher's safety, but crushed beneath the weight of his own perceived failure.
The room remained hushed, save for the faint ticking of a clock. Buck's eyes remained locked on the newspaper, but his mind continued to wrestle with these tumultuous thoughts and feelings. The cover, once a symbol of survival, now seemed to symbolize a different kind of battle, one fought internally.
Buck couldn't help but wonder if he would ever find his way back to the light. He missed the sirens, the camaraderie of the firehouse, the simplicity of saving lives. He missed who he used to be before the bombing, before the tsunami, before the guilt became a constant companion. But as he sat there, he knew that there was no easy path back to the person he once was, and that realization weighed on him heavily.
Knocking on the door startled Buck out of his trance. With one last longing look at the newspaper Buck shook his head and stood up. He thanked any deity that could hear him, so that he did not limp on his way to the door. Buck's eyes widened when he realized who was standing behind his door.
"Chief Alonzo, sir, what a surprise," Buck stuttered, surprised by the sudden home visit of his superior.
Chief Alonzo raised an eyebrow in response and a wry smile spread through his lips. "Surprise? One would believe that my visit would have been expected by now. After all, you've become quite a popular figure for the LAFD. May I come in?"
"Of course! Please come in!" Buck moved away and welcomed his superior into his home. He rapidly turned on the lights, ignoring the sting of his eyes at the sudden light that filled his apartment. "Can I offer you something to drink? I only have water, coffee, and tea tough."
"A cup of tea would be great," Chief Alonzo smiled, as Buck moved towards the kitchen. "Beautiful apartment, Firefighter Buckley," Chief Alonzo praised him, as he looked around, his gaze lingering on the newspaper on the living-room's table, before looking back at the blond man. "What kind of tea do you have?"
"English breakfast, herbal, jasmine, oolong, green, mint tea, earl gray, and assam tea," Buck shrugged sheepishly when he noticed the amused expression on his superior's face. "I like to be prepared and people can get peculiar about their tea."
"I can see that," Chief Alonzo replied in amusement. "I would take earl gray please."
"On it," Buck nodded and moved to prepare the earl gray for Chief Alonzo and a cup of herbal tea for himself. "Here you go," he handed the cup to his superior, who accepted it with a nod of gratitude. Buck nervously played with his cup, trying to force a smile on his face. It was not every day that you received a visit from the Fire Chief. "So, to what do I owe a visit from the Fire Chief?"
"I am here to thank you on part of the LAFD for the great service you've provided during the tsunami," Chief Alonzo smiled putting a box on the counter between them. "Captain Cooper was incredibly impressed and recommended you for a well-earned promotion."
Buck's eyes widened in shock, not believing what he was hearing. His hands shook as he took the box and opened it. A startled gasp left his lips as his gaze fell on his new shiny badge. Trembling fingers gently caressed the word LIEUTENANT on the badge. "B-but I did nothing to deserve this, I just did what anyone else would have done?"
"What anyone else would have done? You are telling me that anyone would have consciously, knowing the risks of having metal rods in their knees and being in blood thinners, risk their lives for complete strangers? Out of duty and during their medical leave at that!" Chief Alonzo raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "No, Lieutenant Buckley, that is not something anyone would have done. Not to mention that you did not only act with your desire to do good and save lives, but you also acted efficiently. Captain Cooper told us all about how you kept your cool during the surge and everything that followed. How by the time you had saved him, from where he was floating on a piece of debris, you had already secured the fire truck of the 136 well enough that the after waves rattled the truck but did not destabilize the truck or the many people you've saved on it. And many people you did save."
Chief Alonzo stressed, looking firmly into Buck's watery blue eyes. "Over a dozen people were on that fire truck, one of them being Captain Cooper, who had been injured when the tsunami hit and had been unable to aid you. But you did not allow that to discourage you, you took charge of the situation and put Captain Cooper to treat the people you've saved with the medical kit you rescued from within the fire truck. Even after you saved that kid from falling from the truck and got swept away by the tide yourself, you never stopped aiding people in need. You marched through the deserted streets of LA towards the VA Hospital collecting people and guiding them to safety. From what I am told, you guys made quite the scene. You, someone taken out of a Superman comic, with over another dozen people following you. Around thirty lives saved, Buckley."
Chief Alonzo shook his head in disbelief, eyes shining with enough pride that finally broke the back of the camel and had Buck tearing up. All his emotions of being left behind, of not being good enough, were now gone, replaced by a sense of pure accomplishment. "Thirty lives saved, efficiently and methodically. You deserve the promotion and much more. Which is why we have decided to award you with the Medal of Valor."
"The Medal of Valor?!" Buck was startled by not only getting back his job but by being rewarded as well.
"The Medal of Valor," Chief Alonzo repeated with a proud smile. It was not every day that one of his firefighters got rewarded with such high honors. "To receive the Medal of Valor, the firefighter must be a member of the department who, in the performance of duty while on a call, under extreme hazardous conditions, in which the member is confronted with imminent personal risk, and has full knowledge of that risk, performs an act of conspicuous heroism which furthers the highest traditions of the fire service." Buck did not even fight off against the tears threatening to fall, he just let them roll down his cheeks freely. "I do not think that there was anyone who deserves this medal more than yourself, Lieutenant."
"Thank you, Chief," Buck chuckled watery.
"No, Lieutenant, thank you." Chief Alonzo coughed, trying to mask his emotional response to the conversation. "Now, I understand that there are some issues with Captain Nash. Luckily, Captain Cooper has extended an invitation to Station 136. However, with the heavy losses they suffered during the tsunami, it will take time for them to rebuild. Until then, Captain Mehta from Station 133 has an open space for you."
"Issues with Captain Nash?" Buck tilted his head confused. "I thought the brass had the issue with me coming back after my injury."
"The brass? The Fire Department was ready to welcome you the moment you were medically cleared and got re-certified. It was Captain Nash the one who did not believe you were ready to return to work," Chief Alonzo replied confused, oblivious about how he had just shattered the heart of his new Lieutenant. "At the moment, I had no reason for not believing him and went with his decision. But even after Captain Cooper's tales of your heroism, he still refused to reinstate you in the 118."
"Did he now?" Buck replied, voice barely above a whisper, as he stared blankly at the Fire Chief. "Well, then, you can tell both Captain Cooper and Captain Mehta that I will thankfully welcome their invitations. It seems that Station 118 was not the great fit I had thought it was."