Everything Ahsoka had ever learned as a Jedi told her to let go, to accept it was the will of the Force, and yet she held on to Anakin's hand, diving into their bond to feel to the tiny, fading remains of himself as they curled up inside him, clinging to life, and the wisp of an idea began to turn the gears of her brain.
Call it an unhealthy attachment, call it the temptation of the Dark side, she didn't care. When the entire Galaxy turned against Ahsoka, Anakin was there to catch her. Anakin alone stood between her and everything the Separatists and the Republic ever threw against her, be it blaster bolts or charges of high treason. For better or worse, he had always been there, and this was her time to pay it back, for better or worse. If that made her a traitor to her former Order, so be it, she hadn't been a Jedi for a long time.
Still clutching Anakin's hand against her chest with one hand, she rested the other over his heart to find his essence, enveloping it in her own.
"I am one with the Force, and the Force is with me," she whispered, repeating the mantra again and again, stretching herself into the Force, pleading with it to give Anakin another chance. To give her another chance.
There was no light tingle, no sweet music of the Force when it answered. Mighty golden hands held Ahsoka's where they were, pinning her in place with an iron grip. Thunderbolt and shockwaves crashed over Ahsoka instead, channelling lightning through her very soul, then into Anakin and all the way back to her, draining and replenishing her energy all at once as she was lost into the flow of pure Force power that didn't belong to her, erasing everything until she was nameless, and only one thought remained within grasp. I am one with the Force, and the Force is with me.
One second, or perhaps an entire lifetime later, Anakin's ragged breathing filled the air, and his hand twitched around hers once before going limp again, but there was no mistaking the faint beating of his heart against Ahsoka's hand. Ahsoka. That's my name, she thought before collapsing into darkness on top of Anakin as they were cocooned by the golden wings of the Force.
"Sleep now, sweet child," whispered a bodiless voice. "He will live."
Ahsoka awoke to a harsh jolt of the ship, her head seemingly trapped in swirling waters. Acutely aware of the screeching pain of her burned upper arm, she sat up and looked around the cockpit, searching for the presence she had felt so concretely before collapsing. But she was alone, save for the armoured Sith lying unconscious immediately next to her.
"Anakin!" She gasped, turning all her attention back to him as the pieces of what happened fit back together in her mind.
But her concerns were unfounded. When Ahsoka touched his pale cheek with the back of her hand it was still warm, and beneath it she could feel the chaotic buzz of his Force signature growing back, albeit still distant and weak.
Another jolt shook the TIE-fighter. Ahsoka looked outside to see the quickly approaching red surface of Atollon and its coral-like rock formations. Clouds zoomed past the viewport, and the frantic beeping of something in the panel warned that they were going in too fast, and that it was too late to do anything about it.
Throwing her body back over Anakin's, Ahsoka searched for anything solid within her grasp. Gritting her teeth and holding her breath, she braced for a landing she knew would not be pretty.
Metal screeched against stone at touchdown, and the ship tumbled and rolled over the rocky terrain. Despite her best efforts, every bit of Ahsoka seemed to bump into something, and she was helpless as Anakin's body bounced on every single available surface, smashing against her more times than she could count.
When the ship came to a screeching halt, Ahsoka found herself in an upside down – or rather, upside front – version of a TIE-fighter, and crawled over to where Anakin's unconscious body ended up against one of the walls. Mercifully, the neck piece of his suit had protected his spine, and his heart was still beating.
"Looks like we still crash every time we fly," she breathed a sigh of relief.
Stretching her back, she looked around to search for the hatch, barely containing a cry of victory when she saw it right in front of them, completely intact. She pushed it open and almost fell back at the sight of at least twenty ships and ten times as many ground soldiers pointing their weapons at her.
"Show your hands!" Shouted someone, and Ahsoka held up her arms.
"I need a medic!" She shouted.
Buzzing voices echoed over the lines and half the soldiers lowered their blasters as someone called, "it's the Jedi! Bring a medical droid!"
From the back of the crowd, one man abandoned his position and elbowed his way through the soldiers, ignoring shouted orders until he broke past the front line to stand in front of the TIE-fighter. He wore the armour of the Grand Army of the Republic, and shortly cropped blond hair. His golden eyes glimmered with relief, and Ahsoka stumbled outside to fall into Rex's waiting arms.
"Don't you ever do this to me again," he whispered against her head, holding her into his embrace. For one second, she closed her eyes and let the weight of her body rest against him, lying her cheek on the cold plastoid of his chest piece.
"Ouch!" She winced away from Rex when his hand accidentally brushed against her injured shoulder, and his eyes widened with a mixture of concern and unaimed rage.
"How did this happen?" Rex growled, gently turning her arm this way and that to get a good look at her injury.
"Lightsaber," she explained. "I will be fine. It's my passenger that needs medical attention the most."
"Passenger?" Rex raised his eyes to the TIE-fighter they were still standing in front of, right as two medical droids rushed to them and heeded Ahsoka's instructions to get inside the ship.
Rex's entire body stiffened when the medical droids re-emerged from the TIE carrying the massive figure in black armour.
"Ahsoka-"
Raising her hands, Ahsoka began to say that she could explain it all, but was interrupted by a cry of victory.
"We have captured Darth Vader!" A Rodian male shouted from the front line, raising his blaster in the air, and any chance of dialogue was drowned by the uproar of celebration.
"I say we execute him!" Cried someone, and a choir immediately joined his request. Ahsoka stepped away from Rex, hands darting to her lightsabers as two humans broke the lines with blasters in hands.
Two shots were fired at Darth Vader, and two bolts hit the hull of the TIE-fighter, leaving the shooters to stare with mouths ajar, trying to make sense of the Togruta woman that seemingly materialised between them and their target, unharmed behind the shielding of her two lightsabers.
"Traitor!" The one standing to the right held up his blaster again.
Gritting her teeth, Ahsoka readjusted her stance to hold her ground between the shooters and Anakin, hoping that no one saw how her legs trembled with exhaustion, or how shaky her grip was on her left lightsaber. A gush of wind brushed against her, and she didn't need to glance back to know that Rex was there, standing behind her with his blasters aimed at the shooters in a far too familiar position.
"Stand down!" A voice shouted, and all movement stopped.
Commander Jun Sato had arrived on scene, followed closely by Hera Syndulla and Sabine Wren. Ahsoka switched off her lightsabers, but didn't take her eyes off the soldiers, both of which still had their blasters pointing at her and Rex.
"I said, stand down," Sato repeated, and the men finally lowered their weapons. Then, he turned to Ahsoka and said, "Master Tano, I am relieved to see that you are alive and well."
Ahsoka didn't know much about Commander Sato's past, but he had always respectfully referred to her as Master Tano, which made her suspect he might have worked with the Republic during the Clone Wars, probably in proximity with the Jedi Generals.
"Thank you, Commander," Ahsoka bowed slightly.
One of the humans that had fired at Anakin stepped in.
"Commander, she is a traitor to the rebellion-" he began, but Sato held up a hand, and the man fell silent.
"No execution is to be carried out on a whim," he said. "For now, stabilise Vader and take him to a holding cell."
Pushing her luck, Ahsoka stepped forward.
"Commander, this man needs a bacta tank, not a prison," she protested.
After a quick glance at the medical droids that were now running scans on Anakin, the commander turned back to Ahsoka.
"The rebellion cannot spare the resources to treat a prisoner that is to be interrogated and subsequently terminated."
"Terminated?" Ahsoka repeated in disbelief. "When did the Rebellion start executing its prisoners?"
"This is no common stormtrooper, Master Tano," he replied. "We don't have the necessary structure to safeguard the beings in this base if we choose to hold Vader captive indefinitely."
"You will not murder him," she snarled.
Usually humans would be taken aback by the sight of a Togruta's fangs. Commander Sato was not one of those humans.
"I am responsible for this base, and these are orders," he calmly stated. "If you choose to disobey them, I will have no choice but to treat you as a traitor."
Gritting her teeth, Ahsoka locked eyes with Sato.
"Then I guess I will leave you with no choice," she hissed.
The watching Rebels held their breath, eyes darting between Ahsoka and the Commander.
"Master Tano," Sato maintained his voice steady, yet sharp. "You are under arrest."
At once, one of the men who shot at Anakin moved in to grab her, but before he could touch Ahsoka she was shoved back and found herself standing behind Rex.
"Over my dead body," he growled, blasters back in hand, but ten soldiers had him locked on target.
Ahsoka ignited her lightsabers again, ready to protect him. She hadn't planned to resist, but now Rex was part of the equation, and hell would freeze over before she let anyone hurt him. Gregor and Wolffe shouted something from the crowd, but were restrained by other Rebels.
Painfully aware of her exhaustion, Ahsoka's eyes ran over her surroundings. There was no way she and Rex would make it if things came to a rehash of Order 66, not fighting against three hundred ground soldiers with air support. Not to mention, even if by some miracle she and Rex could steal a ship and jump off the system, they couldn't bring unconscious Anakin along.
Before the situation could escalate any further, Hera Syndulla stepped in between Rex and Sato.
"Lower your weapons!" Said the Twi'lek.
At her order, Ahsoka switched off her lightsabers, but didn't clip them back on her belt. She wouldn't be the first to strike, but her senses were attuned to the soldiers aiming at them, ready to respond faster than the blink of an eye if anyone so much as thought of pulling the trigger.
Hera continued to address commander Sato.
"Commander, we are in no position to make enemies of any Jedi, let alone one with so much previous experience in war," she said, then glanced at Rex. "The same goes for a clone."
"What do you suggest, Captain Syndulla?" Commander Sato asked.
"I say we both compromise," Hera turned to Ahsoka. "We will use the necessary supplies to stabilise Vader, and suspend the order for termination until we have contacted superior instances, if you agree to surrender your lightsabers and keep away from Vader, the armoury, and sensitive data."
Ahsoka weighed her options. Now that not as many blasters were aimed at them, there was a small chance she could grab Anakin, Rex and those medical droids and try to hijack a starship, which would probably still get them all killed.
"Bail Organa," Ahsoka decided. "I want Bail Organa to mediate the negotiation."
"He will be contacted," Hera promised, glancing at Commander Sato. "Until then, the prisoner will remain in the medbay, and you and Captain Rex are to stay away from him."
"We are not equipped to hold a prisoner of this calibre," Sato protested. "Vader will wreak havoc on this base once he awakens."
Complex calculations got Ahsoka's mind working double time as she tried to find a way to accommodate Anakin's needs and the base's safety. If his last moments of consciousness were an indication of anything, then perhaps he wouldn't turn out to be a threat, but operating based on guesses usually ended poorly, so it was better to prepare for the worst when he awoke. Except Ahsoka had no idea how to restrain Anakin. If it wasn't for the broken mask and the collapsing Temple, she was positive that he would have killed her in Malachor. Even if she worked along with both Kanan and Ezra, chances were that Anakin would outmatch them.
"I can figure something out." All eyes darted to Sabine Wren, who stood in her painted mandalorian armour, holding her helmet under her arm. "My people have expertise in anti-Jedi tech. There must be something left that will keep Vader in check."
Commander Sato sighed, standing perfectly straight with both hands behind his back, and gave a reluctant nod.
"Wren, you have two days to come back with the equipment. We will keep Vader sedated until then," he uttered. "Tano-"
Before he could say any more, Ahsoka handed her lightsabers to Hera. They exchanged a slight nod and Ahsoka turned away, gently squeezing Rex's arm plate as she walked past him on her way to the medical droids as they hoisted Anakin into a medical litter. The droids had put his mask and helmet back on, and apparently managed to somewhat repair his ventilator. A monitor next to him showed that his vitals were stable, as well as his brain function. With her heart somewhat comforted, she made herself walk away and keep her side of the deal.
After having her own injuries tended to, Ahsoka retreated to her quarters to collect herself and sort out the buzzing chaos that overtook her mind. She needed to meditate, needed to process the fact that Anakin was alive, that he was a Sith, and yet he had chosen her safety over his when the temple collapsed. And then there was their rekindled bond. Even now, with an entire base full of sentients of all species moving between them, Ahsoka could feel Anakin's presence as he was slid into the slimy warmth of a bacta tank. Indeed, there were many things she needed to process.
In her exhaustion-induced confusion, Ahsoka caught herself once or twice mistaking the base for the Resolute as she took off her boots and armour plates and climbed into her bed. The setting wasn't all that different from the accommodations that would have been assigned to hr during the Clone Wars, and Anakin's presence in the back of her mind brought back memories of when she relied on it to fall asleep after a battle, when she was too on edge to close her eyes. Not that his presence was quiet or calming by any means; it wasn't. Anakin's Force signature was chaotic, loud and bright, but it was unmistakable; it was something for Ahsoka to hold on to when all else was falling apart. She could rest while he was around. After all, Anakin would always keep her safe, and her eyelids were so heavy…
When Rex came into her quarters with a tray of food, Ahsoka pretended to still be asleep, keeping her breathing deep and evenly spaced even when he sat on the edge of her bed to watch her. The warmth of his hand hovered over her wounded arm as though to shake her awake, but refrained from touching her, choosing instead to readjust the thin blanket to cover her shoulder. Rex then got up and groaned something under his breath before the door hissed open, and his footsteps echoed away into the hallway outside. Only when his presence was safely distant did Ahsoka dare open her eyes.
It was unfair of her not to speak with him, especially after what happened outside. He should have been the first to know about Anakin. Rex had always been there with her; they had fought together, survived together. Mourned together.
Few things were as binding as pain, Ahsoka had discovered in the brief weeks she and Rex had spent together after Order 66, before deciding it would be safer for both of them to be separated. In those emotionally charged days, they had let it all out on one another; shouting their lungs out only to weep in each other's arms next, sharing food as well as bed – if they could get one for the night, that is –. No goodbye had ever been so hard and uncertain as the one in the spaceport once they had sold out their only means of transport and split the credits before going their separate ways. It should be easy, after going through so much, to tell Rex that simple and objective truth, one he would eventually find out anyway.
Only problem was, Rex had known Anakin longer than she had. When she first climbed out of that cruiser in Christophsis, Rex was already there, watching over Anakin's back, fighting by his side. They were already brothers in arms when she joined in, and if there was anyone alive who would feel the hit of Anakin's fate as badly as her, that was Rex. How could she tell him that the man they held in a bacta tank, disfigured almost beyond recognition, responsible for so much fear and evil, was the same General Skywalker Rex had blindly followed into battle over and over again?
Still mulling it over, Ahsoka drifted back into restless sleep.
In the evening of the next day, Ahsoka sat cross-legged on the floor of her quarters with her back resting against her bunk. She had been trying to meditate since she woke up, but focus eluded her. The wound on her upper arm kept stinging in spite of the bacta strip the base doctor had patched her up with, and her heart pounded in her head like a Naboo marching band. She was still attuned enough to the Force to pick up Kanan and Ezra's approach long before she heard their steps echo through the hallway, though. Ahsoka had been wondering when they would show up.
They didn't knock, or waited for her to allow them in before the door slid open with a hermetic hiss.
Kanan's eyes were hidden behind a medical blindfold, and Ezra kept one dutiful hand on his Master's shoulder to keep him balanced. His uneasiness was palpable in the Force, as well as his pain and weariness.
"How are you feeling?" Ahsoka asked softly.
"I will be fine," said Kanan coolly.
Ahsoka straightened up her back, alarmed by his harsh tone.
"Any news from Alderaan?" She asked.
"Nothing yet, but Sabine is back." Ezra's tone was politely distant, but carried a hint of sadness.
"What about Vader?"
Ahsoka was trying not to be too paranoid about his safety, but years of war and hiding had taught her otherwise. All it would take to end him now was turning off a machine, or injecting too much or too little of something in an intravenous tube.
Kanan's disgust and mistrust spread through the Force like a mist. Ezra's feelings mirrored his, except his were glazed with disappointment as well.
"I know what it all must look like." She laid down her shields for them, opening up completely in the Force, broadcasting her feelings and intentions to both of them so they could see there was no deception in her. "But I need you to trust me."
Ezra looked up at his master, then down at Ahsoka, and back at Kanan.
"Believe me, I want to," Kanan declared. "But you brought a Sith Lord here."
"I haven't Fallen, Kanan."
He hesitated, the turmoil growing inside him, worsening the searing pain in his eyes and drawing forth a half choked groan. Ezra tightened his grip on Kanan, alarmed, but Kanan continued speaking with Ahsoka.
"Why save him? Why not end it?"
The corners of Ahsoka's lips pulled slightly up in a sad smile. She had asked herself the same question so many times in the past twenty-four hours it had become repetitive. Why had she saved him? She had learned to let Anakin go, years and years ago when she first reached out for him and found nothing, and knew she would have to live with his absence. Yet she couldn't do it again when he died in her arms. Not when he felt so vulnerable, so weak, so deeply and undeniably alone. Not when, for just an instant, hope had seemed so close.
"It wouldn't be right," she said after a minute. "We escaped the temple together, Kanan, I would not be sitting here if it weren't for him."
Her fingers ran up and down a little scratch on one of the durasteel plates that covered the wall as she remembered the way Anakin's eye widened before he'd pushed her across the chamber under the temple. He could have held the stones before they crushed him, but he'd chosen to get her out of the way first.
"This isn't all of it, though, is it?" Ezra's eyes were as filled with compassion as apprehension.
Ahsoka wasn't sure of how much he'd heard of her interaction with Vader before the temple walls closed in between them, but he'd obviously heard something. Enough to know how personal this was to her.
"He is Anakin Skywalker." Even saying the words out loud felt wrong. Criminal, even, that anyone could make such an accusation against an outstanding Jedi the likes of Anakin.
Kanan took two short steps back, shaking his head slightly.
"The- the hero of the Clone Wars? He- how?"
Ahsoka felt him reach out to search her, and kept her shields down for him as he probed her in the Force, looking for any hint of deceit.
"I don't know," she had said. "But I know that I can help him."
Kanan retreated in the Force with a snap, and a surge of hostility rose in him.
"Is that what this is all about?" He wriggled out of Ezra's grip and stepped toward her, pointing in the general direction of the medbay. "Ahsoka, that thing isn't your master anymore."
He might as well have punched Ahsoka in the gut. As if she didn't know, as if she hadn't experienced first hand what Anakin had become – as if she didn't have the wound to prove it –, as if she hadn't felt the whirlwind of ice that surrounded him in the Force, as if she hadn't seen his golden eye burn with the Dark Side, as if she didn't know his entire body had been disfigured, as if she didn't know that she wasn't there to save him.
"What would you do if it was Master Bilaba?" Ahsoka shot at him. "Could you kill her?"
Ezra's eyes dropped to his boots.
"My master is already dead." Kanan's tone was resolute, but sorrow seeped through his Force signature as he placed one hand over his heart, letting the words ring as he opened himself in the Force to share his grief with her, to show the pain he felt at hearing his master's last, blood-curdling scream, and the fear that came with the realisation that he was completely and hopelessly alone.
Ahsoka only noticed she had closed her eyes when she opened them to find her vision fogged by tears.
"I feel for your loss, Kanan, believe me," she whispered, choosing her words with care. "But Anakin is not dead, and I'm not about to let him be."
Kanan looked stunned for a moment, but quickly recovered.
"You can't let your personal feelings cloud your judgement like that."
I left him once, and I don't have the strength to do it again, she wanted to say.
"I believe it was the will of the Force that me and Anakin met again," Ahsoka declared instead. "He died in my arms, Kanan, and I brought him back. Or rather, the Force brought him back through me."
Confusion fogged Kanan's signature as his brain worked to solve the puzzle presented by Ahsoka's words.
"But why him?" Ezra broke the brief silence. "He is a Sith Lord. Why would the Force bring him back to life?"
It made Ahsoka's shudder every time she remembered that what was left of the Jedi order was half trained children, Padawans on the run, and the fear that loomed over them, leaving them no time to remember all the stories and legends of their Order. As a child, she learned of the prophecy of the Chosen One from the Jedi that tended to her, along with tales of the ancient Jedi, and those who came before. Who would tell those stories to the future younglings when there was no one left to remember them?
"There was a prophecy," Ahsoka began, and Ezra's eyes lit up with interest.
"Ahsoka, the prophecy is bantha shit," Kanan jumped in. "We all grew up in the nurseries hearing about how the Chosen One had been brought to the Temple, how he would bring balance to the Force. Look where we are now."
"There is good left in him, I felt it. He can change, he can turn back. He might still bring balance."
Kanan had considered her for a moment and nodded.
"Or he will kill us all," he said softly.
They left her alone to digest his words, and Ahsoka closed her eyes again. Her breathing steadied, the little rhythmic hiss of air going up and down her throat shielding her from intrusive thoughts and from the pull of life around her.
I need answers, she whispered to the Force. I need to know if I am following the right path. But the Force was silent, and all Ahsoka could feel was Anakin, resting in bacta two levels above her. For the longest time her meditations had been little more than the awareness of his absence, and now that she could feel him so close, she needed to actively shut down the part of her that would instinctively reach out for him.
Even after everything, it was difficult to make the connection between the young Jedi she had once bickered with and bantered with – her protector, her mentor, her brother –, and the cyborg she had battled in Malachor. Maybe she was crazy to think he could be anything but a Sith. She should cast aside her faith and trust his fate to the Rebel Alliance. Kanan was probably right, bringing him here would indeed be their ruin.
Please, she tried again. I am afraid.
Still no answer. She sighed heavily and began to rise out of her trance. Maybe that was the Force's way of telling her to give up, to turn her back on him again, to accept what he'd become, that he would never change, that he would always be a monster.
Always in motion, the future is. The words rang in her mind in Master Yoda's voice. She must have heard him say it a million times… But was it supposed to mean that she shouldn't try to save him, or that she should?
There is always hope! She heard Anakin's grief-stricken voice cry out, and with it came the vague memory of awakening in his arms from a deep slumber, in a planet forgotten by time and space, and seeing his eyes overflow with relief and joy.
Ahsoka opened her eyes to notice they were misty again, and wiped the tears away with her thumbs.
"Thank you," she whispered to the empty room.
Her heart felt lighter than it had since she first felt Vader aboard his TIE-fighter, all those months before. Now all she had to do was spread her hope to the Rebel leaders.
It hadn't quite dawned yet when Hera Syndulla knocked on the door to Ahsoka's quarters.
"Come in," Ahsoka invited.
The door hissed and opened and the green Twi'lek stepped inside, one hand on her waist and the other resting on the door frame. Ahsoka had only heard of Cham Syndulla during her training as a Padawan, but if the stories were true, then Hera must truly be her father's daughter. Her sweet demeanour was always accompanied by one hand constantly ready to reach for her blaster should the occasion arrive.
"Bail Organa has just arrived on base," Hera announced. "He and Commander Sato are waiting for you in the briefing room."
Ahsoka still had her legs crossed on her mattress. She could sense there was more.
"Why didn't you comm-link me?"
"Because there is one condition for you to be there," said Hera, holding up a metal hoop, wide enough to fit around Ahsoka's thigh.
Ahsoka restrained the animalistic growl that threatened to rise from her chest at the sight of the collar. Her heart thumped madly in her ears, and the room became overly bright as Ahsoka's pupils dilated.
"Haven't I done enough to prove that I am not a threat?" She asked, pushing back a snarl of sharp teeth.
"Not after the show you put on for the entire base to watch," said Hera. "Challenging orders to protect the Emperor's killing machine didn't look good, Ahsoka."
"I did everything you've asked of me," she protested.
Hera crossed her arms.
"Look, I'm not going to fight you over it, I know how to pick my battles, but refusing it will make things even worse for you," she said.
Where have I heard something like this before? Ahsoka thought to herself. Oh, yeah, when I was being accused of high treason and the Council asked me to sit tight and await my execution.
Ahsoka considered her next words and pointed at the collar with her chin.
"How do I know you won't shoot me while I have that thing on?"
"You will have to trust me," Hera shrugged.
There is no emotion, there is peace, Ahsoka recited to herself, allowing her anxiety to drift away into the still air of her windowless quarters as she reminded herself there was no reason to fear Hera, and that she had a friend in the captain of the Phantom. Besides, commander Sato could be many things, but a coward and a traitor he was not.
I'm doing this for Anakin, Ahsoka reminded herself.
Inch by inch, she pushed herself out of her bunk and adjusted her lekku so that Hera could fit the collar around her neck, and her upper lip curled in revolt as she felt herself be separated from the Force.
The world slowed down and sped up all at once; noises were too loud as well as strangely muffled; walking felt like stepping on mud, sticky and slippery and uncomfortable. Behind it all, there was a ringing silence, an overwhelming void the likes of which she had never experienced before; it was different from Order 66, it wasn't just that she couldn't feel the Jedi, or that the Force felt unbalanced and eerie. She could feel nothing.
Hera escorted Ahsoka out into the hallway, walking a few steps behind her. They earned glances from every passerby they crossed paths with. It was lucky they didn't meet Rex on their way to the hangar; he would be fuming if he saw the collar, and the way it made Ahsoka stumble and stretch out her arms to balance herself, and the nauseated look on her face. The last thing she needed right now was a fight to add to the utter humiliation of the position she had been put in.
The briefing room occupied a good portion of the base's fifth floor. Seats were available for twenty people – one of which was already filled by Commander Sato – all surrounding a long oval table at the centre of which sat a life size holotransceiver. Behind the table and across the door, a wide transparisteel window framed the hangar below, and the sunrise that bathed the endless kilometres of desert mesas and coral-like formations tinged Attollon with rose and gold.
Bail Organa stood in front of the window with his back to the door, but turned to greet Ahsoka and Hera as they entered. The Father of the Rebellion wore a fine blue silk cape that draped down to the back of his knees, overlaying his shoulders with the perfect elegance required by the Viceroy of Alderaan. Little more than a slight deepening of his expression lines and whitening of his hair gave away the long fifteen years since the rise of the Empire. His dark eyes were perceptive as always, and they immediately fell on the collar around Ahsoka's neck.
"What is the meaning of this?" Bail's tone was neutral, but even separated from the Force Ahsoka could see the authority in him.
Barely had he finished speaking, the door hissed again behind Ahsoka, and she clumsily turned around to see Rex. Ahsoka briefly wondered why he was allowed the luxury of walking around free of any restraints, until she noticed the empty holsters hanging on either side of his belt. In exchange, Rex seemed to notice the piece of Jawa garbage around Ahsoka's neck, and his brow raised for the briefest of moments before his jaw locked, and Ahsoka's stomach dropped.
"The collar was installed under my orders, Senator," said the Commander, likely unaware of the fire pits burning in the back of Rex's eyes. "I did not deem it safe to bring Master Tano within your proximity without restricting the use of her abilities."
Rex was perfectly still, as though frozen in carbonite, eyes locked with Ahsoka's. She hadn't prepared to have him in the meeting. In fact, she hadn't prepared for any scenario other than herself, Commander Sato and Bail talking over a hologram, which had been foolish on her part. Of course Commander Sato would want to be in the conversation, and Hera had been key to building Chopper Base in the first place. And Rex wouldn't let himself be left out of any meeting regarding Ahsoka's safety.
"I agreed to this, Rex," Ahsoka said. "It's alright."
"Were you given a real choice?" Rex didn't quite hold back the growl in his voice. When Ahsoka only stared at him, eyes pleading for him to let it go, he gritted his teeth and nodded before crossing the room to pull a chair for himself to sit, and carefully placing his helmet on the table next to him with a soft thud.
Bail's gaze followed Rex until he was seated before falling back on Ahsoka's collar.
"You should know, Commander, that I hold Ahsoka in the highest regard," he said, pulling a chair for himself. "She has proven again and again her undying loyalty."
"It might be as you say, Senator," retorted Sato. "But loyalty to whom? She and Captain Rex have caused quite a scene outside in their struggle to protect Darth Vader."
Bail glanced at Ahsoka, a fleeting shadow of something crossing his face.
"Why don't we hear Ahsoka's account before reaching any conclusions?" The senator waved at the chairs. "Please, have a seat."
Ahsoka did her best not to stumble on her way to the table, her lekku bobbing uncomfortably against the collar as she moved to take the seat next to Rex. The curvature of the table made it impossible for her to avoid his tired gaze. She knew the questions that had been choked halfway up his throat for two days now, kept down only out of respect for her privacy and time. He should have been the first one to know; she hadn't meant to put him in this position. It wasn't fair.
Taking a deep breath, Ahsoka once again let go of her pain to focus on Rebel leaders surrounding her.
"Vader and I fought each other on Malachor," she began. "We both lost, and were buried beneath a Sith temple. If I am standing here right now, it's because we worked together to survive. His actions have led me to believe that Vader is not beyond saving, and that, if given the choice, he will cooperate with me again."
"You believe you can convert him?" Commander Sato exclaimed. "Based on what? The few hours you have spent with him stranded on a planet? Hours during which it was vital for him to convince you to trust him?"
It was a fair point to make. Ahsoka, then, recounted the moment where Vader had thrown her away from the collapsing wall mid-duel, needlessly allowing himself to be buried alive instead of finishing the duel and walking away mostly unscattered. Bail's dark eyes sparkled with interest, but he remained silent.
"He could have let me die, but he chose not to," Ahsoka concluded her tale, imbuing her voice with as much certainty and confidence as the dizzying collar allowed her.
"His loyalty to you does not interest the Rebellion, Master Tano," said Sato, although his intent eyes told her she had given something to think about. "Still, this alleged bond you have might serve us well during interrogation."
"Commander, let me make one thing very clear," Ahsoka said gravely, eyes locked with his. "Vader will not break under interrogation. He will not cooperate if he is being openly antagonised."
Unless, that is, someone he loved was being used as leverage, but she didn't say that part out loud.
Hera, who had so far been quietly pacing around the table with her arms crossed, only occasionally halting her laps to look through the window, stopped on her tracks, and her bright green lekku perked as she turned to look at Ahsoka.
"I think," said Hera, "that you know more about Vader than you are letting on."
So Kanan hadn't told Hera. It was a curious development, given how close they seemed to be. Perhaps Ahsoka had overestimated their relationship? Or, maybe, she shouldn't judge so harshly, given that she had been less than a hundred percent honest with her own loved ones since her return from Malachor. Ahsoka bit her lip and glanced up to meet Rex's honey-coloured eyes. How was she supposed to say it? What were the appropriate words to break his heart one more time? Why couldn't she have some good news to give him, for once?
"This is not how I wanted to tell you this," she whispered to him.
Rex considered her for a moment.
"You and I have been through enough for you to know there's nothing you can throw at me that I can't handle," he said.
The table was perfectly white against Ahsoka's sienna fingers as they ran repeatedly over its flawless surface. It was true, Rex could handle anything, but could he heal?
"He was my master." Ahsoka muttered, her eyes never rising from the table. "His true name is Anakin Skywalker, and he was my master."
Rex's gloved hand clenched into a tight fist, and Ahsoka smothered her impulse to reach out and hold it. Instead, she looked up at Bail, and her head heated up in the absence of any hint of surprise on his face.
"You knew," she accused in a whisper. "You knew all along."
All eyes turned to the Senator, inquiring silently as he sighed, one hand running over his chin. More than anything, she hated the inhibitor collar that stopped her from prying into his feelings, to know if he felt any remorse. Anakin was her Master, her brother, by what right did Bail Organa keep his identity a secret from her? By what right did he stop her from searching him and bringing him home?
"There was nothing you could have done," he said, as though reading her mind.
His pity-soaked words were the same ones he had given her at Padmé's funeral, when shock had just only begun to dissipate and give way to pain. Just like then, Bail brought her no solace whatsoever. A knot in her throat threatened to choke her, but Ahsoka forced it back down along with her tears. There would be a time and a place to cry, later. She raised her head to see eye to eye with the Senator and the Commander.
"I'm begging you," she said, "spare him."
"This is not about you, Ahsoka," Bail scolded. "The Rebellion is bigger than any one of us, and we have a duty to it."
Rex's fist tightened. His chair was so close to hers she could feel as his entire body tensed up.
"I'll do it," he said in a determined whisper, and Ahsoka wasn't sure if he was talking to himself or to the others. Rex then levelled his eyes with the others, and said, "I'll kill him."
Ahsoka's neck snapped around to face him, her brow markings knit together.
"No one is killing him," she said, and then turned to Bail and Commander Sato to repeat, "no one."
Perhaps it was unbecoming of a Jedi to threaten her allies to protect an attachment, but then again, Ahsoka wasn't a Jedi.
"This is our decision to make, master Tano," said Sato. "And, as senator Organa said, our duty is to the Rebellion."
"Then I'll remind you, Commander, that I am not sitting here only as a Rebel," said Ahsoka. "I also have a duty to the Force, and to the future of the Light Side users."
"Our causes are allied, master Tano."
"Only as long as I am free to do both as I see fit," she shot back. "Anakin may well be the last living Jedi Knight. Killing him will erase the memory of a thousand generations and deem the reconstruction of a Jedi order next to impossible. I can't, in good conscience, allow this to happen."
Silence. Ahsoka ran her eyes across the room. Hera ceased her pacing once again to rest her back against the window, one hand pinching her lower lip. Bail seemed to be in deep thought as he once again ran a hand over his chin, and Commander Sato leaned back on his chair as though attempting to get visual perspective over Ahsoka. Next to her, Rex's head hung low, chin almost glued to his chest, golden eyes highly interested in some invisible pattern on the white table.
"Yet you brought Vader into a Rebel base, and asked for him to be treated by a Rebel doctor." Commander Sato countered after a moment. "And he is the second in command to the Empire. Therefore, the Rebellion should have a say on his fate."
"Even then, I say it's in the Rebellion's best interest to keep him alive." Ahsoka shot back. "If my plan works, if I can convince him to switch sides, it could change the course of the war."
Bail didn't take his eyes off her, his interlocked fingers tapping against the back of his hands and a crease forming in his brow as he meditated on her point.
"Tell me I'm wrong," she pressed.
Once again, silence was her only answer for several moments. They had good reason to doubt her. If it turned out that Anakin's allegiance truly was to the Emperor, then keeping him alive would be the biggest waste of resources of the rebellion's short history, and if he managed to escape then they were as good as dead.
"Ahsoka has a fair point, Commander," said Bail.
"She is asking us to gamble on her ability to get through to him," said Sato.
"I know what I'm asking," Ahsoka jumped in. "And I wouldn't, if I thought it wouldn't be worth the risk."
It was anything but convincing, but it was all she could give them. Still, judging by the way both Sato and Bail had their eyes glossed over by layers of thoughts, perhaps she had given them something to mull over. The largest pointer of the chrono on the wall had completed six laps before, once again, Hera was the first to speak.
"Maybe our decision shouldn't be so final," she said, removing her hand from her lip, and Sato stopped chewing on his thumb nail to listen to her. "Ahsoka says Vader's survival might be vital to recover what is left of the Jedi Order. I think Kanan should be a part of this conversation as well, once he makes a full recovery. Until then, we should allow Ahsoka to attempt her conversion."
"It seems like a sound plan," said Bail, nodding. "Perhaps we should meet again in, say, a standard month from the day Vader is taken out of his bacta tank."
"Two months, while he gets medical treatment," Ahsoka bargained. "If I can't reason with him in two months, I will be satisfied that there's nothing left of Anakin to salvage."
Bail's dark eyes turned to Sato.
"What do you say, Commander?"
Sato never looked at Ahsoka while answering.
"Two months, under only enough treatment for him to survive unassisted," he agreed. "But I have more conditions."
"Unassisted, and painlessly." Ahsoka straightened her back on the chair, and had to hold the edge of the table when the world swirled around her. Damn this piece of Jawa garbage, she thought, wishing that her arms would quit feeling like noodles for a second so that she could rip the collar off her neck. "Name your conditions, Commander."
Commander Sato cleared his throat, and began listing his requirements.
"First of all, he will wear the Force-restraining collar until we are entirely sure he can be trusted," he started. "Given master Tano's recount of the events on Malachor, I have yet to be convinced to rely solely on her skills to keep Vader in check."
Ahsoka bit her tongue.
"I wouldn't trust myself either, Commander," she forced herself to say, although she didn't like it one bit that they would submit any Force-sensitive to the torture of wearing that collar. Still, if it was the only thing guaranteeing Anakin's survival, so be it.
"Vader will also be restricted to a holding cell once he is released from the infirmary."
"I would prefer to be allowed to occasionally take him on supervised trips to the surface, Commander," Ahsoka countered. "Entirely restricting his circulation and activities will not help."
It appeared that Commander Sato's jaw had locked, so Bail spoke over him.
"Vader is not to be released from his cell until further evaluation," he decided. "That's not up for discussion."
"I understand," Ahsoka sighed. "At least let me bring him mechanical tasks. Spare parts to build, or things to fix. I think this would do wonders for his recovery."
"Mechanical tasks?" Sato scoffed.
"As I understand it, Anakin Skywalker was an accomplished mechanic," said Bail before Sato could continue. "The Maker knows we are in need of skills like his these days, with the cost of acquiring and smuggling supplies to Rebel bases."
"I don't see the harm in it," said Hera, "as long as these mechanical tasks happen under strict supervision."
"I won't leave a single screw around him," Ahsoka promised.
"Very well, then," Sato agreed. "My third and final condition is that, in the eventuality of an attack to this base, Vader is to be terminated immediately. We can't risk the Empire recovering him."
Ahsoka swallowed hard. That was a variant she had no control over whatsoever. All she could do was trust in the Force.
"I understand," she muttered.
Some of the tension in the room dissipated as the agreement was reached, but not all of it.
"Now," said Bail, hands clasped together over the table. "I understand we are also here to discuss the matter of Ahsoka's and Rex's insubordination."
"With all due respect, Senator," Rex spoke for the first time since the revelation about Anakin. "It was unreasonable of Commander Sato to order Ahsoka's arrest."
"Senator, I'm afraid I was left with little choice."
"You can't expect me to stand back-" Ahsoka yelled, standing up from her seat, but lost her balance and Rex had to grab by the arm.
"Commander," he said, releasing Ahsoka as she sat back on her chair, rubbing her forehead. "I don't know that Ahsoka is right about- about General Skywalker. What I do know is that this Rebellion has welcomed Imperial defectors by the hundreds, and that we didn't achieve this by torturing and executing prisoners needlessly. And I know from experience not to blindly follow orders, no matter the punishment."
Rex's eyes were lightyears away, deep creases forming in his brow. Again, Ahsoka had the urge to reach out and touch him, to offer him some semblance of comfort, and again she held back.
"It is my opinion that it would be detrimental to the Rebellion to punish either Ahsoka or Captain Rex." Bail's voice was calm and charged with authority when he finally spoke. "I suggest that the incident outside is forgotten, and that none of the involved are punished. And that this absurd collar is immediately removed from Ahsoka's neck."
Commander Sato began chewing on his nail tumb again.
"I will trust your judgement, Senator," he said after a moment, rising from his seat. "If you excuse me, I will retrieve the key to Master Tano's collar, then. Know that it pleases me no more than it pleases her to have her wear it."
"Very well," Bail nodded, and Sato sent Ahsoka a meaningful look before exiting the room. "Captain Syndulla, Captain Rex, would you be so kind as to allow me a moment alone with Ahsoka?"
"Of course, Senator," Hera nodded, already making her way to the door, but paused to turn around and speak to Rex. "Captain, we could go to the armoury to collect your weapons, if you like."
Rex's eyes lingered on Ahsoka for a second, and she tried to offer him a soft smile that turned out more resemblant of a grimace. Then he stood up and followed Hera out of the room, leaving Ahsoka alone with Bail.
The Senator's courtly grace abandoned him as soon as the door closed, his shoulders hunching forward over the table.
"I am sorry, Ahsoka," he told her. "I know how close you and your master once were. I can't begin to imagine what you are going through."
"Why did you keep it from me?"
"Because I knew you would jump into the next freighter to go after him and announce your existence to the Galaxy," he said. "Besides, I wasn't sure."
"I could have saved him."
"You would be dead," he cut her. "You have to understand, we are few, poorly armed and underfunded; the Rebellion can't afford to lose you."
Ahsoka blinked heavily, wishing she could fight his logic, or at least stay angry. She had been such a wreck after Order 66, and especially in the past few months as her suspicions about Anakin's fate had begun to creep in. Wasn't it why she had sent Ezra and Kanan to enlist Rex's help, because she was so desperate to find something in the Galaxy that would ground her and give her reason to soldier on in spite of the fear and uncertainty? Ahsoka sighed, releasing her anger.
"I know," she admitted.
But Bail still wasn't satisfied.
"Ahsoka, I need to know that you will still fight this war, even if it comes to Vader's execution."
Her heart clenched so hard Ahsoka barely contained a gasp, shutting her throat just as the sound threatened to escape her lips. Could she ever look into Bail's eyes again, or Commander Sato's, if they killed Anakin? Could she continue fighting alongside them? It occurred to her that holding her support hostage, using herself as a bargaining chip, could be a good option, but then she would be making enemies of allies, and the Force knew she would need those.
"I won't leave the people of this Galaxy to suffer," she answered, her brow markings knit close together. "You know that. But I need something else from you in exchange."
"What do you need?"
"If this works, I need you to promise me that you will protect Anakin. If there are trials for the Imperials when the war is done, I need him to be immune."
Bail's eyes flickered away from her for only just a second.
"I promise to do my absolute best."
"Your best is usually enough," Ahsoka gave him a thin, hopeful smile. "I know from experience."
The smile he gave in return was humourless.
"If only," he sighed. "I really hope I haven't damaged our friendship too much, with my lack of honesty."
"It's in the past now," she assured him, right as the door hissed open to make way for Sato as he stepped inside carrying a small durasteel box.
The Commander reached into the pocket over his chest to fish out the key to unlock the box containing the key to Ahsoka's collar, and she almost felt flattered by the amount of security Sato had dedicated to contain her. She hurriedly pushed her lekku out of the way so that the Commander could open that damn thing, and no sound had ever been as sweet as the click of the lock around her neck.
The Force greeted her with soothing warmth as soon as the collar was off, filling the void with light and bringing back the sweet buzz of life that surrounded every being on base, and Ahsoka breathed in a sigh of relief as the world around her fell back into place.
"Is there anything else you and I should discuss?" Ahsoka asked, pushing back her chair and standing up, feeling herself featherlight and free.
"I don't believe so," said Bail, rising from his own chair to make his way around the table until he stood in front of her. "It was good to see you again, Ahsoka. Please, do contact me if you need any assistance with any of your causes."
"You too, don't hesitate to contact me."
Ahsoka bowed slightly before retiring from the briefing room and taking the nearest lift.
The racks and stands of Chopper Base armoury were covered in all types of blaster models. During the war, clone armouries were filled with limitless amounts of Republic issued weapons, all identical to the next, not unlike the GAR soldiers themselves. The Rebellion did not have limitless resources, or a grand army. It had all kinds of people with all kinds of origins, and old, rusty blasters with dubious backstories to go with them. But at least the Rebellion didn't put chips in their soldiers that would make them shoot their best friend. That would make their hands shake as they desperately tried to resist the order that ate away their willpower. I'll do it, Rex had said to the other clones as the command to execute Order 66 wiped out the last remnants of himself.
And now he was sitting by himself in this Rebel armoury, cleaning his blasters. That image had to be burned into her eyelids after seeing it so many times; she could hear his voice in the back of her mind, a soldier's weapon is their pride, Commander, gotta keep them shining. Dirty armour and shining blasters, that was Rex's modus operandi. Particularly when he was upset. If she could take the words back, lock them in a padlocked box and toss it in hyperspace, she would. Anything to not see the way Rex squeezed his eyes shut and held his breath before slowly exhaling through his nose in an attempt to calm the storm within him when he noticed Ahsoka as she quietly strode in and snaked her way through the blaster stands to sit by his side.
"Hey, 'Soka." His greeting was thick with the knot on his throat. "Hera asked me to hand you this."
He laid aside his blasters to hand Ahsoka her lightsabers, and she took a moment to check if the kyber crystals were still intact before looking back at Rex as he got back to work, half unable to find the right words, and half hoping that he would be the first to say something.
Under her intent eyes, Rex dismantled the entire blaster, laying down each piece next to him on the bench, counting them, wiping them clean and doing a quick recount before reassembling it, his face as still as a frozen lake, eyes hardened and focused as he fit everything back together. Only when it was done did he lose control of the stubborn tear that rolled down his face, to be wiped on his own shoulder.
Ahsoka gently cupped her hands around his cheeks, guiding his chin up, but his golden eyes fled hers. Rex's accelerated ageing had stopped since the removal of his brain chip, but the revelations of the last hour seemed to have single handedly carved deeper lines on his face.
"Talk to me." Her voice was suddenly too loud against the thick silence.
He took a short, shallow sniff, another tear running down the line where Ahsoka's thumb met his cheek. Then Rex's body tensed up and his hand caught her wrist to detangle himself from her touch. Once he cleared his throat, his voice deepened back into his soldier tone.
"How long have you known?"
Ahsoka bit her lower lip, not daring to meet his eye.
"Last year, when the fleet was attacked, I felt him," she admitted. "But I wanted to be completely sure before telling you. In case I was wrong."
Force, had she hoped to be wrong.
Rex sighed and hunched over to rest his forearms on his knees.
"That's why you didn't want me in Malachor, isn't it? You knew he would come for you."
"Yeah. I did."
Rex's back raised and lowered with his breath. He looked over his shoulder, eyes still glittery with tears.
"I thought I'd lost you." His voice came out hoarse and earnest. "When Kanan and Ezra came back alone, I thought I'd lost you."
She could feel his heartbreak from that moment, how the ground had seemingly vanished from under his feet in the stationary second before grief settled in. Ahsoka leaned back in to hug him from behind again, wrapping her arms completely around his torso and resting her cheek on his shoulder blade.
"I'm sorry," she whispered.
Rex's hand reached up to squeeze the arm she had wrapped around his abdomen, as though to reassure himself of her presence.
"Just keep coming back in one piece, alright?" He muttered.
"I promise."
Neither said more for a while, limiting themselves to enjoying the other's company. Physical touch was not something either of them had been encouraged to engage in, she having been brought up as a Jedi and him as a clone soldier of the GAR, and until the collapse of the Republic Ahsoka could easily count on one hand the amount of times she and Rex had so much as brushed against each other. It had taken her by surprise how soothing it could be to hold and be held, even in a situation as dire as the one they had found themselves in when it was all over.
"Do you really think this is the right thing to do?" Rex broke the silence. "Do you think you can save him?"
She settled for the only answer she could find.
"I have to believe."
"Why?"
"Because he would do the same for me."
Rex gently rubbed her arm with a thumb, pulling her even closer to himself.
"You can't save everyone, 'Soka," his voice was deep and low. "You tried."
Ahsoka tightened her lips together. Forty five. That was the number of graves she and Rex dug after the Tribunal crashed. It was the number of bodies they could recover, out of the hundreds of members of the 501st and 212th that died trying to kill the two of them. Lives she had refused to take, but that were lost all the same.
"I know." She put her free hand over his. "But maybe I can save him."
He exhaled heavily and took her hand to kiss it.
"Maybe we can."