They made me choose today, mom and Jason.
Jason told me we were going to do a family session today, but when I got to his clinic, waiting for me there was something completely different.
Three shelves on wheels, each sporting a row of shiny Pokeballs.
Jason said that today we're going to try and find me a 'partner'.
The way he introduced the process to me was… So casual.
We used to talk about how this day is supposed to be one of excitement and joy for people. I always emphasized that it's a bit different for me but never went into the details of how anxious it made me.
Jason told me the Pokemon in front of me are specially pre-trained therapy 'mons. Not battle-trained, but socially. Each one of them was deemed sufficient as a potential partner for people with mental disabilities and those who go through long emotional hardships.
It sort of helped that he said all that. I felt more comfortable with the idea of the session, even though I still wasn't convinced I was going to go home with a Pokemon of my own.
I guess it's only fair I'll try to go through each of the Pokemon he introduced to me ands how each introduction went.
First there was a Snubbull. A real piece of work that one was. Jason even warned me he didn't think it'll work when I picked its Pokeball, but we tried nonetheless.
I don't know what sort of person this pink bundle of joy was trained to accompany, but it sure as hell wasn't me!
The thing had shaggy fur and a small happy looking face with small jovial eyes.
This Snubbull had no sense of personal space. It was all up in my face a second after I released it from its ball.
I know it was only being friendly but I don't particularly like to get jumped on and licked excessively.
It did make us laugh, though, for how nervous I was if nothing else.
The second one was a familiar sight. A Meowth.
Jason had one that he nicknamed Stache, which he sometimes let into the office during our sessions.
This one was friendlier, though. It rubbed its short furry body against my legs affectionately and purred very loudly while doing so.
By the time I once again shook my head disapprovingly, signaling Jason that it was not yet the one, I started to understand the mechanisms behind this session better.
It was getting harder for me to say no with each Pokemon I called back into its Pokeball.
You see, Fred, I started to feel guilty.
These Pokemon were not simply trained to be more accommodating and affectionate towards humans. I think they themselves were desperate for a human companion, maybe more so than other Mon's. Do you think that's why they were chosen as therapy Pokemon?
A few more tries went by, and other than feeling increasingly bad about denying the creatures a future companion I achieved very little.
Mom started to look a bit fidgety, and even Jason started to seem less than happy about the whole ordeal.
Then came the big one, which ironically had been a small flying one.
A fluffy rotund creature with a big nose which fashioned a heart-shaped nostril.
It flapped its wings hastily, navigating its way blindly all around the office room, squeaking all the while. I was later informed that was echo-location.
It seemed a bit erratic at first. I would be too, being blind in a new unfamiliar space, so Jason guided me to call it over to me, see if I can comfort it a bit with my presence.
So I did. The creature swayed in the air around me for a minute, alternating between sniffing and squeaking, until finally feeling safe enough to land clumsily on top of my head.
Jason said he thought the Woobat liked me. I thought so too.
Actually, right at the moment the fluffy thing landed on my head I felt a sense of calm spreading through my body. Something new and comforting that I haven't felt in years.
I think I may have even smiled a bit without noticing, because the demeanor of Jason and mom changed very quickly. They seemed suddenly relieved. Content.
I felt that too.
For a few blissful minutes, the anxiety and depression I knew oh so well -
were no more.
Smell you later, Fred!