"What? A Quirk Apprehension Test?" Someone asks a bit too loudly for his liking. "B-B-But what about the orientation? We're gonna miss it!" Oh he hates whiny kids so much.

Why is he a teacher again? Fucking… Nemuri and Hizashi. If he didn't love them as much he'd kill them.

And the students too.

Probably.

"Here at UA, we're not tethered to traditions," he informs the kids, keeping up his monotone facade to hide how much he wants to murder every single one of them. "That means that I get to run my class however I see fit."

Several students gasp, and he's already oh so tired of this class.

"You've been taking standardised tests most of your lives, but you never got to use your Quirks in physical exams before." He pauses to see if the students connected the dots yet or not. They just keep looking at him without understanding behind their eyes. Oh boy, he has his work cut out for this year. "The country's still trying to pretend we're all created equal by not letting those with the most power excel. It's not rational. One day, the Ministry of Education will learn," he mutters and takes a ball from a conveniently placed robot dispacher. "Shinsou, you scored the most points in the exam, come here." The boy comes closer, with a wary expression. "What was your farthest distance throw with a softball when you were in middle school?"

"Around fifty-five meters, I think," he says softly. Shouta watches him like a hawk, he doesn't seem to have Hizashi's personality, but… Oh well. Hizashi doesn't have his parents' personality either.

"Well throw it using your quirk, anything goes, just stay in the circle." He throws the ball at him, and he catches it skilfully.

The boy frowns at the object as he gets into the circle, and Shouta fights to not roll his eyes at him. "Go on. You're wasting our time."

"Sorry, sensei," he mutters, tilts his head up, holds up the ball in front of his face, and prepares to throw it in that weird position. And then he does it, screaming at the same time.

The ball is carried by the soundwave, and lands after a few seconds. Shouta glances at his handheld screen. Two hundred and twelve meters, definitely better than Hizashi when they did those tests in second grade. He smirks. "All of you need to know your maximum capabilities. It's the most rational way of figuring out your potential as a pro hero."

"Yooooooooo, this looks like fun!" One of the kids pipes up, and Shouta immediately feels a vein pop up on his temple. Fun. Fun.

"Fun, huh? This looks like fun to you?" The students look at him in fear as they sense danger in his tone. "You have three years here to become a hero. You think it's all gonna be games and play time? Idiots. Today you'll compete in eight physical tests to gauge your potential. Whoever comes in last has none, and will be expelled immediately." Hopefully that would set the tone of the year and get them in line. Otherwise he'd end up expelling them all anyway. "Like I said, I get to decide how this class runs. Understand? If that's a problem, you can head home right now," he says to cement his decision.

"You can't send one of us home! I mean, we just got here! Even if it wasn't the first day, that isn't fair!" One of the girls cries out, and he swears another vein pops up on his forehead. He fights his angry tics, as he growls out:

"Oh, and you think natural disasters are?" he taunts. "Or power‐hungry villains? Hm? Or catastrophic accidents that wipe out whole cities?" The girl that spoke up stays silent. Good. "No, the world is full of unfairness. It's a hero's job to try to combat that unfairness. If you wanna be a pro, you're gonna have to push yourself to the brink. For the next three years, UA will throw one terrible hardship after another at you. So, go beyond. Plus Ultra‐style. Show me it's no mistake that you're here.

"Now then. We're just wasting time by talking. Let the games begin."

The first test is a speed test—50 meter dash, so obviously Iida aced that one, his quirk specifically designed for that.
Hitoshi thinks about how to go at it with his quirk, thinks about propelling himself with it but he knows he would lack coordination by going backwards so that is off the table.

Normal running it is.

Next comes a strength test.
Hitoshi is pretty sure he flunked that one, he was decently strong, he spent hours at the weights in the facility… but others had the aid of their physical Quirks.

Instead he tries to find a solace in the fact that there are others who struggle, namely the invisible girl who introduced herself as Hagakure. Her quirk was similarly useless as his in these purely physical and strength based tests.

And then there's… the greenhead. Midoriya. 8th place on the leaderboard, amazing strength yet he isn't using any of it right now. He looks like he's thinking about something, hard. Hitoshi knows from rumours that he nearly blew his limbs off with said strength, and wonders why the boy hasn't been directed to the facility yet.

Next comes the standing long jump, aced by a frog-girl. He propels himself with his voice and lands a little off-mark, but Eraserhead just gives him a nod when he turns towards him to ask if it still counted.

Next one is repeated side-steps. Once again his quirk is useless… but he finds solace in the fact that everyone else's quirks are also useless in that one.

The tests are annoying. Most of them were designed to test for the capabilities of physical Quirks, which means Hitoshi can't use his full power without the risk of hurting either himself or his classmates. And it isn't for lack of trying either.

Fifth test is the ball throw, and Hitoshi does the exact same thing as before except with a more directional, louder shout. Everyone winces but no one is damaged so he counts it as a win.

When it's Midoriya's turn, he watches curiously. Will he do something extraordinary finally? Or will he continue his less-than-stellar performances?

He holds his breath when he sees red tendrills of power spread through Midoriya's arm… and then he throws the ball like a normal person. Wait a minute, Eraserhead is using his quirk. Ooooooooh… Wonder why he stopped him, he thinks briefly before the teacher explains himself.

"I erased your quirk," he says gruffly, still keeping up the erasure. "That entrance exam definitely wasn't rational enough." He takes a pause. "Since even a kid like you was accepted." Damn. Didn't have to go for the ankles like that. "From what I can tell, you can't control your quirk, right?" He doesn't wait for an answer. "Do you intend to become incapacitated again and have someone save you?"

"That— That's not my intention—" Midoriya stutters and Eraserhead, while not looking any less or more mad than before, pulls him towards him with his capture weapon.

"Whatever your intention, I'm saying that's what those around you will be forced to do." He says all of it matter-of-factually, his inflection unchanging. He's not being mad or anything he's… teaching. "Midoriya Izuku, with your quirk, you can't become a hero." Damn. "Now hurry up and take a second throw." He turns around and walks a few steps to his previous spot.

Midoriya looks down, picks up the ball, walks into the centre of the circle again.

There's a pause, a lull, everyone is focused on Midoriya, Midoriya is focused on the ball.

And then he throws it, except…! It goes so fucking far holy shit! Hitoshi looks at the madlad, trying to gauge whether he exploded his whole arm or not… but at a glance, that at least didn't happen, his finger however—

"Sensei," Midoriya wheezes, "I can still move!"

The grin on Eraserhead's face is downright manic.

A few people cheer, happy that Midoriya isn't getting expelled… immediately at least, and then Hitoshi hears a crackle of explosions that make him turn his head exactly in time to see Bakugou run at Midoriya, his hands exploding, yelling "WHAT THE HELL IS THE MEANING OF THIS!? SINCE WHEN DO YOU HAVE A QUIRK!?"

But before he can reach him, Eraserhead's binding cloth wraps around him, stopping him in his tracks, quirk in full flare.

"What the hell? This cloth… is hard…!" Hitoshi nearly snorts. Like duh, that's a weapon.

"They're weapons for capture made out of carbon alloy—" Eraserhead says, effortlessly bringing Bakugou a little closer to himself with a few tugs. "—woven together with a metal wire made of a special alloy." He then sighs, staring still very intensively. "Don't make me use my quirk over and over again… I have dry eye!"

…welp, that's a thing. For his teacher to reveal such a thing so freely it must have been public information, yet Hitoshi still finds himself in awe that he now knows one of Eraserhead's weaknesses.

"We're wasting time," Eraserhead says as he releases the bindings and they go back to him. "Whoever's next, get ready."

Hitoshi watches as Midoriya gets around Bakugou as if he's trying to keep his distance from a rabid dog, and he frowns. Those two clearly know each other but… it's all weird. Oh well, not his monkeys not his circus.

After the last person finishes their ball throw, they move to a gym, to do sit-ups. He does his set with ease and manages more than the average from what he hears around the gym.

After that he checks his bendiness in seated toe-touch and finds it amusingly easy to go almost all the way.

The last is a distance run. He feels he did decent at that one, he already paced and walked a lot to get his mind off of things so just speeding it up a little bit? A piece of cake.

He almost doesn't notice the test is over, just keeps running, deep in thought.

(Of course the one who aced the test is, once again, Iida. Damn those legs.)

With that, the tests are over.

The others from his class are either nervously chatting or rambling about the their presumed results. He doesn't feel like doing the same, no point in worrying about it now.

Instead he looks at Midoriya who's clutching at his finger. It kinda sucks that the guy just had to power through the pain… He wonders briefly what Eraserhead was even thinking before shrugging. He does have a point about only being able to save one person…
Not his circus, not his monkeys. Yep.

Shouta looks at the fine selection of students in front of him. They're creative, they're hard working, some of them are fucking insane is what they are. Especially this Midoriya kid. He's gonna have to keep an eye on that one.

He's a little underwhelmed with Shinsou's performance though if he's being honest.
It's not like the boy was holding back, but he also wasn't using his quirk as much as he could be using from what he's seen on the exam tapes.

He has half a mind to expel him for that, but he's also insanely curious if he really is Hizashi's son. If he's too weak to be a hero after all he can always expel him later, or transfer him out to General Education after the Sports Festival. Really, depends on his whimsy and how long the boy lasts.

For now, he stands in front of the gathered students, and smirks at them.

"Congratulations on surviving your first day in UA. Time to give you your results. I've ranked you all from best to worst. You should probably have a good idea of your standing already, at least if you paid any attention. I'll just pull up the whole list. It's not worth going over each individual's score," he informs them and uses the screen behind them to showcase the scores.

He sees Midoriya nearly cry with despair. "I won't actually expel any of you on the first day, it was just a logical ruse." Midoriya whips his head around so fast, he's surprised it doesn't come off his neck. "That's it. We're done for the day. Pick up a syllabus in the classroom. Read it over before tomorrow morning." He instructs them before curling up in his sleeping bag.

Yaoyorozu goes on to claim she already knew about his ruse, and he feels a third vein pop up somewhere on his head, at this point hes surprised he hasn't gotten an aneurysm. Ugh. He should expel her just for that.

He sees All Might from the corner of his eye and the man waves at him. Another vein threatens to pop out and he sighs, going over to see what the man wants from him.

Hizashi comes back from the patrol to find Shouta collapsed on the sofa, taking a nap. He tries to be as silent as possible, but his husband's eyes shoot open anyway. It's always fifty-fifty with him. Sometimes he wakes up, sometimes he doesn't. No matter how quiet Hizashi is actually being.

"Hi," he says softly, his throat aching after using his quirk so much. He had an intense fight with several villains, and he was the only hero in the area actually willing to do something… But oh well.

"Hi," Shouta replies, getting up groggily. He stretches and pops his joints, the horrible sound grating at Hizashi's ears. Still it brings a smile to his mouth. The action alongside the pleased silence means that the day was a success.

"So how was 'orientation'?"

"They have potential," Shouta nods to himself. "Some are wild cards, and some will need a lot of discipline, but most of them are creative when using their quirks, and all of them have non-zero potential."

"That's promising." Hizashi goes to the bathroom for a quick shower and doesn't bother telling Shouta about it. If he was gonna say something he would say it already.

Once he's thoroughly washed out of sweat and grime, he gets out, and Shouta continues speaking as if they never stopped the conversation.

"I might have to expel some people for their own good."

"Tell me about it," Hizashi prompts, as he dries his hair. "You have the green-haired bone-breaker in your class, right?"

"Yeah. Midoriya," Shouta confirms, twisting a lock of his hair between his fingers. "He was about to break his whole arm in a softball throw before I stopped him." He sounds flat, more flat than usual, which in Shouta's language is maximum exasperation mixed in with worry.

"Jeez. Kid's crazy."

"That he is." Shouta gets up to go to kitchen exactly as Hizashi falls down on the sofa. "There's also Todoroki. His quirk is fire and ice in equal manner, according to his file, but he only used ice."

"How much do you give him?"

"Until the internships. If he doesn't use his fire by then I'll talk to him about the expulsion threat." Shouta starts making tea. "Speaking of files… There's nothing in Midoriya's file."

"Hm?"

"Literally nothing about his quirk. There isn't any quirk counsellor's notes, as if he never attended a single session. All I have to go off is the quirk name, which doesn't describe anything because it's literally 'Super Strength', and…" He spreads his arms and shrugs. "The kid certainly doesn't act like he ever got professional help."

"Well, that's a mystery. Isn't it illegal to not bring a child to a specialist after a quirk presentation?" Hizashi wonders aloud. Shouta hums, confirming it.

"I'm gonna have to ask Nedzu before I report it though. Maybe the notes are classified for whatever reason. Then they wouldn't show up in the restricted file." He doesn't sound convinced. "Also, I talked with All Might today."

"Oh?" Well that's curious. Shouta dislikes All Might for about everything the man does, so for him to talk willingly to him… Or maybe it wasn't willingly.

"He was stalking the class, poorly might I add. It's really not because of his stealth but their ignorance that no one saw him." Shouta scoffs and turns off the whistling kettle. "He's already playing favourites, and guess on who."

"Midoriya…?"

"Exactly." He sighs. "So chances are they're somehow connected." But then he turns around and smirks. "Or we have two father-son duos in this year."

"Two..? Oh wait. You're still going on about that," Hizashi rolls his eyes despite the unease rolling in his stomach. Does he have a son? He won't know until he investigates… But he really doesn't want to investigate. He'd rather sit in the status quo forever. The kid seems like he's got everything figured out.

"Yes, I am still going on about that." Shouta comes with two cups of tea, and hands him one. He accepts it, grumbling. "He is… similar to you in a way I cannot place," he says, and takes a sip. "Dunno about the personality, but there's something in his looks, in his eyes, that's just very… you."

Hizashi sighs. There's no arguing with Shouta when he gets like that. But he's also insanely perceptive so chances are he's right.

"Also, he recognised me." Hizashi sputters.

"He what?"

"Greeted me by my hero name, I was surprised."

"No wonder, you're underground for a reason…"

"And yet he knew. Makes me wonder from where, or from who."

"What are you suggesting?" Hizashi doesn't like his tone of voice.

"That someone who knew us told him. Maybe his mother."

"Your theories are getting crazier and crazier with each day," Hizashi dismisses him.

"Maybe." Shouta agrees. "They're theories for a reason. Or maybe I'm right." Hizashi sighs again. "We'll know more once you see him face-to-face."

And honestly? That's what Hizashi dreads. The first English lesson in class 1-A.

He'll have to survive it somehow.