They leave Khalil's body in the street like it's an exhibit. Police cars and ambulances flash all along Carnation Street. People stand off to the side, trying to see what happened.

"Damn, bruh," some guy says. "They killed him!" The police tell the crowd to leave. Nobody listens.

The paramedics can't do shit for Khalil, so they put me in the back of an ambulance like I need help. The bright lights spotlight me, and people crane their necks to get a peek.

I don't feel special. I feel sick.

The cops rummage through Khalil's car. I try to tell them to stop. Please, cover his body. Please, close his eyes. Please, close his mouth. Get away from his car. Don't pick up his hairbrush.

But the words never come out.

One-Fifteen sits on the sidewalk with his face buried in his hands. Other officers pat his shoulder and tell him it'll be okay.

They finally put a sheet over Khalil. He can't breathe under it. I can't breathe.

I can't.

Breathe.

I gasp.

And gasp.

And gasp.

"Starr?"

Brown eyes with long eyelashes appear in front of me.

They're like mine.

I couldn't say much to the cops, but I did manage to give them my parents' names and phone numbers.

"Hey," Daddy says. "C'mon, let's go."

I open my mouth to respond. A sob comes out.

Daddy is moved aside, and Momma wraps her arms around me. She rubs my back and speaks in hushed tones that tell lies.

"It's all right, baby. It's all right."

We stay this way for a long time. Eventually, Daddy helps us out the ambulance. He wraps his arm around me like a shield against curious eyes and guides me to his Tahoe down the street.

He drives. A streetlight flashes across his face, revealing how tight his jaw is set. His veins bulge along his bald head.

Momma's wearing her scrubs, the ones with the rubber

ducks on them. She did an extra shift at the emergeney room tonight. She wipes her eyes a few times, probably thinking about Khalil or how that could've been me lying in the street.

My stomach twists. All of that blood, and it came out of him. Some of it is on my hands, on Seven's hoodie, on my sneak-ers. An hour ago we were laughing and catching up. Now his blood..•

Hot spit pools in my mouth. My stomach twists tighter. I

gag•

Momma glances at me in the rearview mirror. "Maverick, pull over!"

I throw myself across the backseat and push the door open before the truck comes to a complete stop. It feels like everything in me is coming out, and all I can do is let it.

Momma hops out and runs around to me. She holds my hair out the way and rubs my back.

"I'm so sorry, baby," she says.

When we get home, she helps me undress. Seven's hoodie and my Jordans disappear into a black trash bag, and I never see them again.

I sit in a tub of steaming water and scrub my hands raw to get Khalil's blood off. Daddy carries me to bed, and Momma brushes her fingers through my hair until I fall asleep.

Nightmares wake me over and over again. Momma reminds me to breathe, the same way she did before I outgrew asthma.

think she stays in my room the whole night, 'cause every time I wake up, she's sitting on my bed.

But this time, she's gone. My eyes strain against the brightness of my neon-blue walls. The clock says it's five in the morning. My body's so used to waking up at five, it doesn't care if it's Saturday morning or not.

I stare at the glow-in-the-dark stars on my ceiling, trying to recap the night before. The party flashes in my mind, the fight, One-Fifteen pulling me and Khalil over. The first shot rings in my ears. The second. The third.

I'm lying in bed. Khalil is lying in the county morgue.

That's where Natasha ended up too. It happened six years ago, but I still remember everything from that day. I was sweeping floors at our grocery store, saving up for my first pair of J's, when Natasha ran in. She was chunky (her momma told her it was baby fat), dark-skinned, and wore her hair in braids that always looked freshly done. I wanted braids like hers so bad.

"Starr, the hydrant on Elm Street busted!" she said.

That was like saying we had a free water park. I remember looking at Daddy and pleading silently. He said I could go, as long as I promised to be back in an hour.

I don't think I ever saw the water shoot as high as it did that day. Almost everybody in the neighborhood was there too. Just having fun. I was the only one who noticed the car at first.

A tattooed arm stretched out the back window, holding a Glock. People ran. Not me though. My feet became part of the