Song credits:
"Hearing" by Sleeping At Last (wedding march)
"Landslide" by Stevie Nicks
.o
.o
The day of the wedding dawned cloudy and cold, typical of early spring. It cleared and warmed as the sun climbed over the horizon to cut through the Darklands volcano smoke.
Junior swore his dad had a log brought into the castle at an ungodly hour last night, and he also swore he heard his siblings banging on it. But, when he came down to check it out, he saw no sign of activity.
Must've been a dream.
His alarm went off, an obnoxious air raid siren blaring. He picked his phone up and put it down to stop the noise and fell into another light doze.
The snooze alarm blasted. He once more picked the phone up and set it down and went back to sleep.
.o
Bowser watched the morning come from his bedroom window. Once the sun broke the smoky clouds, he smiled and padded to Junior's room.
Last night, he dunked Junior in a hot mud bath, got his scales oiled and had Wendy work it into his hair. She filed, sharpened and lacquered his horns and claws.
He came out the other side of that looking like the king he would someday be.
Junior slept with all but his head pulled into his shell. Bowser stood over his sleeping son, fondly remembering when he was a tiny, beady-eyed baby.
His other children grew up and away. Junior grew up, but always stayed close. Looking at him was like looking back in time, seeing himself in his younger years.
In a way, watching Junior marry Cherry would be the closest thing he had to time-traveling to the past and fixing his mistakes with Peach.
An old Koopa proverb stated, "The son most like the father is the one who will erase the father's past sins."
Bowser reached out and tapped on Junior's spiked shell.
"Junior, wake up. It's your big day."
"Five more minutes," mumbled Junior.
"Save it for when you're married." Bowser tipped Junior into an upright position and patted his face. "C'mon, up we go."
"Ack!" Junior's limbs popped out of his shell so he could sit under his own power. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and looked up. "I'm really getting married? For real, dad?"
"Yeah, you are. But you're gonna be late unless you get your shell in gear. Shower, breakfast, tux!" Bowser clapped his hands in a 'go, go, go' fashion.
"Dad! Slow down, would you?" Junior balked.
He let his breath out and a smoke ring rose from his nostrils. "Sorry…but wow, the wedding isn't for six hours. I'll put the tux on later, so I don't get it dirty."
Bowser drew back. This wasn't his future.
Deep down, he knew he pushed all of this on Junior out of his own desperate desire to see him marry into the Toadstool family. He wanted to ensure his youngest son knew only happiness after him, so he didn't consider his wish to be entirely selfish.
It occurred to him that it could've gone horrifically wrong. What if Junior and Cherry didn't like each other?
But they do. They're in love, they're getting married. It worked out.
Bowser glanced at his reflection in the mirror visible through Junior's open bathroom door. He discovered he had Crash via the same happenstance responsible for where he stood now. If he never suffered through that first heart attack, Morton wouldn't be alive, and Junior might have died young.
Maybe that's all life was, luck.
Junior sniffed, rubbing his face. "I feel like it's all going so fast. The day will zip by unless we stop and breathe, dad. I want to be able to sit and watch, not just act, know what I mean?"
"Yeah. But don't skip breakfast, okay? I'm gonna make my famous Bowser bacon. Nobody makes it better than me!"
Bowser puffed his chest out and tried unsuccessfully to suck his stomach in. He sighed, patting his midsection.
"I'm old and flabby."
Junior slapped his belly. It didn't jiggle like pure fat. "I prefer to think of it as experienced and well-fed."
"Great idea!" Bowser brightened. "Good thing I thought of it."
More awake now, Junior stretched and stood up. He ran to the window, threw open the curtains and shouted loud enough to wake the dead, "I'M MARRYING CHERRY TOADSTOOL TODAY!"
"Shut up!" Somebody else yelled.
Yes, you are, kid…yes you are. Bowser laughed, tapped his tail once and headed out.
He hadn't bullied the chefs in ages. They were due for a good scare.
When he came back upstairs, he saw Junior pass Lakitu an envelope and coins.
.o
"Buon giorno, my little-a bride to-a be."
In the dark room, Cherry's eyes fluttered. "Daddy…it's early."
Mario smiled softly, petting her dark hair. Just like Peach, she wasn't much of a morning person.
"I know. There's a lot-a to-a do. Hair, nails, makeup and a lot-a of nerves."
"I'll be nervous when I'm more awake." Cherry sat up to kiss Mario's cheek. Her messy hair stuck out every which way. "Am I dreaming, or am I really getting married today?"
He stared down at her sleepy blue eyes and messy hair. His heart ached with memories of Peach, who also looked discombobulated when she first woke up in the morning.
Ever since he first held Cherry in his arms, he hoped and prayed that she would marry someone who would devote themselves to her. Someone who cared about her, loved her and wanted her happy. He never expected it to be Bowser's son.
Ruefully, he remembered not wanting her to be friends with Junior at first, fearing he would turn out like his tyrannical father. He went so far as to forcefully separate them, a decision he regretted.
Bowser changed when Peach died. Mario saw how much when they cried together next to her grave.
He also remembered watching Bowser have a heart attack right in front of him during a meeting. Murphtoad got him stable enough to go home, but Mario never forgot the sight of Bowser's face turning gray from lack of oxygen.
Mario shook off the unpleasant memory and turned towards Cherry again. "Your mother would be so-a proud. And I'm going to-a say it again when I see you in your wedding gown."
Cherry sighed deeply. She took his hand and rested her head on his knee. "I'm really going to be a bride."
"Si," said Mario. "The most-a beautiful bride."
"I wish mom was here."
Those five words touched something in his heart. He blinked away tears and patted her head.
"She would say that-a no woman has ever looked as-a beautiful as-a you will today."
"I'll believe it when I don't look like a zombie." Cherry giggled, sitting up. "I guess I better go eat breakfast and take a shower."
She kissed the end of Mario's round nose and staggered into her bathroom. After freshening up, she donned a white robe and made her way to the kitchen for a hearty breakfast.
.o
A white figure stared through Junior's mirror. No, Junior reminded himself, that was his own reflection. That handsome guy in a white tuxedo with perfectly gelled hair was him. All he had to do was tie his bow tie. He glanced over his shoulder at Bowser, who adjusted his sleeves.
"Hey, um, dad?"
"What's up?"
Junior smiled. "I forgot how the bow tie works."
No, he didn't, Ludwig made sure of that, but he wanted his dad to feel useful.
"Heh, hang on. Tilt your head back." Bowser popped his collar up for him. The warmth of his hands moved under his chin as he tugged, looped and pulled it comfortably snug.
"There you go." He smoothed his collar down and patted the perfectly done bow tie with a smile. "Damn, you look good."
At that moment, his age showed in the harsh light of his bathroom. The wrinkles around his mouth, the gray in his hair, the oxygen tube glistening across his face and the collection of medicine bottles on the counter by the sink.
He wouldn't live forever. It was easy to think that as a little kid, when the ignorance of youth made adults seem like sempiternal mountains always on the horizon.
Bowser wore his oxygen intermittently, mostly to help combat fatigue. He hooked his fingers in the tube under his chin and cocked an eyebrow. "People are going to stare at this if I wear it."
"So what?" Junior picked it up. "Remember when I was a kid and freaking out because I wet the bed? You told me to bully anybody who gives me crap about it. Do that if somebody stares at you when you put this on."
Bowser smirked at that. "You're right."
Junior grabbed his dad's shoulders and hugged him tight, pressing their cheeks together. "I love you, dad."
"Ah, kiddo." Bowser rested his head on his shoulder and squeezed him with his reassuring strength. "I'm always gonna love you, too."
"Like a blue shell on a Kart track?"
"Damn right."
Junior grinned and kissed his cheek. "We'll be the best-looking guys there, you and me."
"Don't you forget it either," said Bowser with a wicked smile.
"Now, for the last touch." He flipped open a box by the sink. Inside it sat a rare red Fire Flower mixed with tiny white baby's breath blossoms.
Junior stood up straight while Bowser pinned it to the lapel of his tuxedo jacket.
"Looks great, dad." Junior opened the other box on the counter, which contained an ordinary rose. He pinned it to Bowser's coat lapel.
"Awesome. We're dressed. Now…listen because this is really important."
"Huh? Did I miss something?"
Bowser lowered his voice. "On your wedding night, you guys can't just jump in bed and screw. There's no romance in that—"
Junior's face flushed. "Dad!"
Bowser raised a hand and cut him off. "It's the truth. Sex is rough between two Koopas…a Koopa woman can take it. But Cherry isn't like us. She's more fragile. You're a big boy like me and she's a virgin, right?"
"Y-yeah," He shifted uncomfortably, "You caught us before we got that far. My junk didn't scare her. She just said 'oh, you're big all over, aren't you?'"
"Ah— in that case," Bowser grinned like a Cheshire cat.
"Girls like it when we Koopas get on all fours. So crawl up to her on the bed with it all hanging out and growl to show how much you want her. But when it gets down to it, Junior, you have to go slow. You're going to be pushing into something about—"
He curled his thumb and forefinger together, approximating something barely larger than his little finger.
"— this big. So you should lick her clitty 'till she's good and wet before you pop her cherry. Heheh, her name's Cherry, you're gonna pop Cherry's cherry! BWAHAHA!"
Bowser slapped his knee, laughing. "Anyhow, for shit's sake, give her pussy time to stretch for you, or she won't like it when things get heavy and you'll end up sleeping on the floor."
"Lick her clitty? Pop her— DAD! Holy shit, you are the biggest pervert I ever met." Junior's eyes grew saucer-sized.
He could not believe he was talking about sex with his dad like this. The wedding itself made him nervous enough! Maybe things would have been easier if he and Cherry did it in the linen closet and got it out of the way! Now he was going to be worried about hurting her, or worse!
"And I'm damn sexy, too." Bowser guffawed at Junior's nauseated expression. He grabbed his shoulders, spun him around and pushed him to the door.
"C'mon, son, you don't want to be late to your own wedding. Let's go!"
.o
The next two hours went by Junior in a blur. Years later, when he looked back on this day, he would barely remember leaping out of the warp zone at the Mushroom castle. He went straight to the Great Hall because he knew Cherry wasn't going to be there, and he didn't want to accidentally see her before the wedding. Bad luck and all.
Wendy arrived in sky high sparkly red stilettos and a slinky red sheath dress with a slit reaching to her hip. It flattered her petite frame and matched the wedding decor.
Roy and Morton both wore zoot suits— Roy's was plain red, like his sunglasses frames, and Morton chose light gray with black pinstripes. They tipped their fedoras at anyone who noticed them. People moved out of their way when they walked by.
Pom-Pom held Roy's hand while they threaded their way through. Her strapless purple floral print dress fluttered around her ankles and her braided blonde hair looked immaculate with purple ribbons woven through. Roy kissed her cheek as she walked at his side.
Sienna chose a simple tea-length silver halter dress that hugged her frame and flattered her dark eyes. Her black braids were gathered in a ponytail held by a sparkly silver clasp and the line of spikes down her shell decorated with silver covers. She leaned on Morton's arm, smiling beautifully at whoever recognized her.
Iggy's yellow and green tux almost needed earmuffs to look at it because it was as loud as his laugh. He picked the obnoxious number Junior rejected at Glitterbomb, and added gold spiked rings to all of his fingers. Only somebody like Iggy could nail that look with such panache.
Lemmy donned a white tuxedo— the satin shawl collar really looked good— and somehow pulled off a multicolored ascot that matched his Mohawk. His discrete white ear defenders blended right in with the outfit, and so did the plain white squishy ball he rolled between his hands.
Scott joined him wearing the same style of tux in black with a sequined gold bow tie. He hemmed his tuxedo pants at the ends of his leg stumps. His mid-wheel drive power chair had bright, multicolored upholstery on the seat, so he draped it in black like he did for concert performances to give it a more formal look. As a snazzy touch, he added a glittery red ball to the control stick. Being a Hammer Brother, the back of his chair had a white hammer decal.
Larry's dark blue tux kind of matched his hair, but wasn't the same shade. His black apron tie kept rumpling despite his efforts to smooth it. He slicked his hair to the side instead of spiking it up.
Ludwig looked like the maestro he deserved to be called, with his formal all-black cutaway tux that emphasized his long, lanky limbs. His sole pop of glitz was his signature glittery blue eyeliner.
Boom-Boom showed up in a black and white suit with the sleeves ripped out. His huge fists did not fit into traditional sleeves, so he always tore them off. He and Junior took selfies and swapped them via texting.
Black arrived by slamming a side door— there wasn't a door he couldn't manage to murder. He wore a black tuxedo, which he glammed up via a ruffled dark green shirt with glittery threads and a black butterfly bow tie. His black hair was styled in its usual spikes, albeit gelled to give it extra shine.
Jack walked at his side, white cane tapping a perfect two-point touch. He slicked his ponytail back with gel that made it shiny like an oil slick. His off-white tux almost exactly matched Junior's, save his notched lapels were white instead of red. As soon as he realized what he did, he panicked, pulled off his red bow tie and opened up his collar. Junior got a laugh out of it.
Toad walked around wearing a long gold robe that trailed on the floor behind him. Glitter flecks glimmered on his speckled cap. Out of everyone present, he looked the most ageless.
The wedding orchestra consisted of Toads, Koopa Troopas, Hammer Brothers, Yoshis and a few Shy Guys. Scott hustled his chair behind the last music stand on the left and took his green piccolo out of its case with his tuner already hooked up.
"Sorry for being late. Lemmy panicked on the way here."
Ludwig scraped his fingers through his coiffed blue hair and grumbled. Junior figured out why he was so harried when he saw the Toads without tuners on their violins.
"Hey, having problems?" Junior signed to Ludwig.
Smoke escaped Ludwig's nostrils. He indicated his tablet screen and signed in quick, irritated flicks, "The Toads are refusing to connect their tuners. This place is too noisy to feel it out, I need a visual cue."
"Heh, hold on, let me deal with it."
Junior noticed the Toads watching him and Ludwig sign. He marched up to them with his arm around Ludwig's shoulders, keeping him against his side.
"Hey, see this guy? This is my brother, Ludwig von Koopason. He's the best Koopa composer of our time, and this is music he composed for my wedding. Do what he says and make him proud."
Those Toads picked up their tuners and clipped them on, and there was no more fuss about it.
Ludwig sighed, looking up at Junior. Out loud, he said, "Thank you."
"No problem." Junior patted his shell and walked away to sit in the same pews he sat with his dad for Peach's funeral. In light of that, his next comment sounded crass. "Knock 'em dead, Ludwig!"
Ludwig grinned, opening his score.
"From the beginning." He lifted his baton.
The orchestra held their instruments at ready. On Ludwig's downbeat, they began a gentle, flowing melody.
Junior was glad he heard that music now— it choked him up when he thought about how Cherry's hair shone in the sun and the cute way her eyes flashed when she laughed.
Everything felt like a whirlwind. From a first date to a proposal, and, after months of planning, their wedding day had arrived.
They were still best friends, but now it came with a little extra.
Junior watched Toads set up white pots of red roses beside the pews. They rolled out a massive aisle runner spanning from the entrance to the gigantic multicolored rosette window behind the altar in the front. Its center showed Mario and Peach holding hands surrounded by hearts and sunburst patterns.
Sunlight crept into the southeast stained glass windows, making them glisten with images of vines and pink flowers.
Cherry would be walking through sunbeams when she came up the aisle later. He imagined her glowing like stars.
"Little Bowsie Ju-ju is getting married! I still can't believe it!" Wendy dropped onto the pew next to Junior. Her six gold bangles jingled together on her wrists. "You look nervous. Don't be so scared, it's just a bunch of pomp and poof."
Junior ducked his head and grinned, "Maybe to you. How many times have you been married now? Six?"
"Eight. They were all bastards." She turned to eye the others walking around. "Ludwig wrote such a beautiful piece for the wedding procession. I guess— huh, oops! I better go, I need to rehearse for the reception. See you later, shrimp!"
He smiled at her. "Have fun, Barfhead."
She wrinkled her nose at him, smirked and stalked off, flicking her hair.
Jack turned his head as she passed, breathing in her floral perfume.
.o
Cherry left her dressing room to observe her reflection on the full-length closet door mirror. The bodice of her off-the-shoulder wedding gown hugged her frame. It buttoned up the back and red cords lacing up the front made it fit more snugly.
Her silver filigree tiara swooped to a point six inches high and was covered in scintillating diamonds, pearls, tiny sapphires and one large oval ruby sitting front and center. She thought it was a terrible, heavy thing the first time she wore it for hairstyle tryouts, but it wasn't awful once she got used to it.
Someday, she would be crowned queen, and the crown was going to be heavier than the wedding tiara.
The hairstylist pulled her black hair into a shiny bun at her nape to offset the high tiara. Loose corkscrew curls framed her cheeks. She shook her head to ensure the tiara wasn't going to move. A few extra hair pins resolved the unwanted wiggling. The hairstylist attached her veil and blusher using combs tucked against her bun.
"There, your highness, it's done."
Cherry beamed. "Thank you, it's beautiful."
A diamond choker matching the tiara and dangly diamond teardrop earrings finished off the look.
She breathed deeply, checking her makeup in the mirror. A light dusting of gold eyeshadow, winged black eyeliner, peach blush and glossy red stay-put lipstick brought out the best of her features.
"Ma'am, there was a delivery," said one of the Toad servants. "It's on your dresser."
"Thank you." Cherry crossed her room to find a tall, cylindrical steel vase with a single yellow tulip and a white envelope.
Inside, a pink card with red cherries on the cover. She smiled, flipping it open.
Cherry, I gave you a yellow tulip when we met, and now I'm giving you another one on the day I marry you. I'm so excited to be yours forever. I love you. See you at the wedding!
Love,
Junior. OXOXO
Giddy, she set the card upright beside the vase and took a photo with her phone. Junior was so sweet.
She pulled her blusher veil forward over her face when the door swung open. A short figure in a tailored ivory white tuxedo appeared. His only dash of red was a satin pocket square.
"Oh, mamma-mia…my Cherry blossom." Mario froze and began to weep openly right there in the doorway. "My bambina… Luigi, she looks-a stunning!"
Luigi plodded in, leaning on a stylish painted green oak cane with a black Derby handle. His dark green suit and white tie showed he never lost his whimsical fashion sense. His hair wasn't completely gray yet and he didn't wear glasses, but his face showed many wrinkles.
He grinned over at Cherry, blue eyes twinkling, "Cherry! Ciao! Come stai?"
"Uncle Luigi! Va bene cosí." Cherry replied, swishing over to hug her dad and uncle.
Over his shoulder, she saw Daisy wearing a pastel yellow ball gown embroidered with tiny daisies. "Auntie Daisy!"
"Cherry!" Daisy swept into the room, all smiles and not one bit self conscious of her gray hair, which she wore in a crown of braids decorated with gold beads.
"Oh, my goodness, you look gorgeous!" She clicked her tongue and gasped, awestruck. "Oh, stand with Mario and Luigi so I can take a picture."
And so Daisy went wild with her phone.
Cherry went along with the poses, but her mind was on Junior. She thought about how his eyes smiled just for her and the gentle way he always held her hand.
They met when, during one of Bowser's many attempts on Peach, Junior fell out of Bowser's Koopa Clown Car and injured his foot. He started crying and cursing. She ran out against Mario's wishes, pulled the band-aid off her knee and stuck it to his bleeding middle toe.
He snorted, glared with beady eyes and said, "You're pretty for a shrimp!" Then he ran to catch the rope ladder Bowser dropped for him.
The very next day, he reappeared alone and gave her a yellow tulip. Didn't say a word, he handed her the smooshed flower and ran away. She chased him into the warp pipe he came through because she wanted to know more about him.
From then on until Peach died, they played together as best friends.
It was hard to believe that beady-eyed, snot-nosed Koopa kid would one day be her future husband.
But I wouldn't change a thing about it, Cherry thought as she smiled for Daisy's photos. I don't regret any of this. No regrets, no fears, no second thoughts. So what if he proposed during our first date? This is better than walking into a room and facing a man I don't know. This way I can see the future. Junior will make me happy, and I'm going to make him happy.
She blinked as the camera flashed, We're going to start a new era together.
.o
Bodies packed the pews in the Mushroom Castle's main hall. Koopas on one side, Toads on the other and yoshis mixed between the two.
The ceremony began with Bowser and Junior. They emerged from the back in complete silence— Bowser carrying an unlit torch and Junior holding a small tray of oil. They faced each other, lit the torch with their flaming breath and set it down in a stand by the altar.
The oil tray was set aside. Koopa marriage traditions dictated that at the conclusion of the ceremony, Junior had to drop the torch into the tray and leap over the flame with Cherry in his arms. It would symbolize his willingness to protect her from all dangers, even those that risked his own life.
Koopas preferred lava for this, but Mario wouldn't allow lava inside the castle, so a controlled fire became the substitute.
Somebody put a large stool out for Bowser to sit on if he felt the need. Beside it, a silver oxygen tank attached to a small two wheeled cart with a black handle. The clear tubing sat coiled on top since he wasn't wearing it at the moment. He ensured it stayed turned off due to the open flames nearby.
Bowser took up his best man position next to Junior and nodded to Ludwig. Ludwig's eyes lit up. He turned to the orchestra, lifted his baton and began the first movement. It was the melody Junior heard earlier.
Right on cue, his brothers and sister emerged, each one with a Toad at their side. Wendy looked utterly offended at having to walk next to someone half her height.
Junior tried not to snicker. He let his eyes lose focus until people looked like colorful blobs moving through the sunlight.
Two baby yoshis, one red girl and one blue boy, came skipping down the aisle behind Junior's family members. They dropped red rose petals from little baskets clutched in their clumsy hands.
Then came two Goombas— one wearing a red bow on her head and another wearing a red bow tie around his neck— bearing the precious wedding bands in their teeth. They presented the rings to Bowser, who knelt to accept them.
Junior's ring was actually a gold bracelet— with all the planning, he forgot to get a ring sized for his huge finger, so he used a bracelet instead. Nobody could tell the difference.
Daisy appeared by herself, bearing a bouquet of yellow roses that matched her gown. Luigi's dreamy eyes followed her from the back of the hall to the altar.
The music decrescendoed to Scott's piccolo, like a fire dying to an ember. All eyes turned to the double doors in the back.
"Remember this moment," Bowser whispered in Junior's ear. "Your life changes now."
THUD!
Ludwig gave a new downbeat. His orchestral music swelled in a thrilling crescendo.
The double doors in the back swung open and Cherry emerged into the first shaft of sunlight. She carried a bouquet of red roses surrounded in white baby's breath held together with a silver ribbon. Every glittering piece of jewelry she wore captured the sunlight like stardust, especially her elaborate tiara. The veil gave her an air of mystery. Her dress became a beacon moving fluidly from sun patch to sun patch.
Everyone gasped collectively at the sight of her.
Junior swallowed hard over the lump growing in his throat. Tears came into his eyes. He didn't notice Mario holding Cherry's arm. She was beautiful, an inamorata, so unbelievably exquisite. He saw nothing but her gorgeous form floating in outer space and the nascent future being born between them.
Cherry felt the same, all she saw was that amazingly handsome Koopa waiting for her in front of the rosette window. She did not see Bowser standing right next to him, nor did she see Toad hopping up onto the altar. In his eyes, endless tomorrows reached out towards her, and she walked fearlessly towards them without regret.
Just like the proposal, time ceased to be for Junior and Cherry. All that separated them was a twenty foot aisle.
Bowser found himself overcome with emotion. When Junior stepped forward, kissed the hand Cherry so gracefully extended and knelt down on the altar stairs so they were eye to eye, tears skittered onto Bowser's cheeks. His mind kept replacing the image before him with himself and Peach. He blinked it away, not wanting to miss this moment.
Mario withdrew from Cherry's arm. His eyes sparkled and his heart weighed a ton. He couldn't believe his baby, his little girl, was about to get married, and it hurt that Peach wasn't there to see it.
Cherry glanced back at him, smiled and patted his cheek. Mario dabbed his eyes with his red pocket square.
"You're beautiful," Junior whispered.
Cherry grinned, "And you're handsome."
He beamed at her. She was there, with her stunning hair, and her cute freckles, and her soft eyes, and her prominent nose, and her gorgeous smile. Did he dream this up?
Toad cleared his throat and looked out over the congregation. "Who gives this Princess away?"
"I, King-a Mario, do." Mario stated. His voice remained steady despite his emotions. With a graceful bow, he sidestepped and sat next to Luigi.
In a whisper, he said to his brother, "I never thought I'd see-a the day."
Luigi nodded and lowered his head. The wedding hurt him slightly— he and Daisy couldn't have children. They made up for it by adopting Amaryllis and Larkspur, the baby yoshis that carried the rose petals down the aisle. Luigi's brief bitterness disappeared as the wedding atmosphere permeated the giant hall.
Junior and Cherry faced each other. Neither noticed much beyond one another's eyes. Toad's voice floated to them from somewhere far away.
"Cherry, Bowser Junior, we have come together here to witness not only your joining in marriage, but the joining of two kingdoms who were once bitter enemies."
Toad spoke so all could hear him— while Jack interpreted every word in Koopa Sign for Black. He saw how the two looked at each other and knew this was right.
"Junior…"
At the sound of his name, Junior jerked himself back to reality. "I do!"
Laughter broke out in the congregation. Cherry socked Junior's shoulder and wrapped her arm around him, giggling.
Bowser slapped his palm over his eyes and shook his head. Junior's face flushed bright red. He mumbled an apology, but now it was impossible to be completely serious. Ah, maybe all the pomp and circumstance wasn't so bad after all.
"We might be jumping the fire a little too soon, there. You don't say 'I do' until after I've told you what you're saying 'I do' to." Toad said, his eyes twinkling.
"But I already know what I'm getting into," Junior replied. Cherry cracked up and swatted his shoulder, each blow too light to hurt. He looked out to the crowd, "See what I mean?"
"It's not too late to run for it, Junior!" Larry shouted.
At that, Junior stood up like he was going to bolt. Then he grinned and returned to his kneeling position in front of Cherry.
"I can't believe I'm marrying this dork." Cherry snickered affectionately.
Roaring laughter erupted again, breaking the nervous tension.
Bowser crossed his arms, shaking his head in amusement. Junior never could do anything the conventional way. In a split second he turned his somewhat boring, tradition-laden wedding into a funny memorable moment.
Once everybody settled down, Toad turned towards Junior and nodded his head.
"Prince Bowser Koopa Junior, do you take Princess Cherry Toadstool as your beloved wife? Do you promise to love her through rain and fire, through sickness and health, through rich times and poor times, through laughter and tears and with eyes for no one else as long as your heart beats?"
Junior met Cherry's eyes and squeezed her hands. "I do."
Toad asked Cherry to repeat the same vows. She grinned and let her forehead touch Junior's. "I do."
At the appropriate moment, Bowser held out his hand so Junior could grab Cherry's ring. Junior awkwardly grasped the tiny band between his forefinger and thumb claws, terrified of dropping it.
"Repeat after me," Toad smiled. "With this ring, I wed thee forever."
Junior slid the ring onto Cherry's finger. "With this ring, I wed thee forever."
Bowser's hand extended towards Cherry. She blinked at the size of the ring, took it and shrugged with a knowing grin. A few people snickered.
"Repeat after me. With this ring, I wed thee forever."
"With this ring, I wed thee forever." Cherry pushed Junior's ring onto his middle finger. She had to squeeze it over the second knuckle. Once she got it in place, it would never move again.
Toad closed the scroll he read from.
"Congratulations, you two," he whispered happily. Then he raised his voice again, "With the power given to me by the King, I pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride!"
This was the moment Junior waited for. He delicately lifted Cherry's blusher veil, smoothed it behind her shoulders and pulled her close. She cupped his cheek, her new wedding ring gleaming for all to see.
Their lips met in their first kiss as a married couple and the entire hall burst into cheers.
"Misses Cherry Koopa-Toadstool," Junior grinned.
"Mister Bowser Koopa-Toadstool Junior," Cherry grinned back. "Let's jump the fire."
"You got it," he said.
Grabbing the torch, he threw it into the tray Morton hastily pulled up to the stairs. Then he swept Cherry into his arms and leapt over the roaring flames.
"Yahoo! I'm a married Koopa now!"
Upon landing, he twirled around and kissed her again, giddy with the happiness bubbling in his chest. "We did it, Cherry! We did it."
"We sure did," Cherry clung to his neck. "Ready to party?"
He tossed his head back, flicking his hair out of his eyes. "Hell yeah!"
Bowser sat on the stool provided for him and watched from the altar as Junior spun his blushing bride around in circles. All the times he thought he saw Junior at his happiest were obliterated by that one moment where his smile caught the light. He remained there in stillness as Junior carried Cherry all the way to the doors leading outside.
He married his princess, his Cherry. Oh, Peach, can you see how happy they are?
Bowser glanced up as if expecting her spirit to be there. Of course, there was nothing but color from the stained glass windows reflected on the ornate white ceiling.
He exhaled and watched his new in-laws process up the aisle.
Familiar shells caught his eye. Neil, Celine, Pat, Stevie, Josh, Judy, and those bead-festooned Paratroopa wings could only belong to Elton and Freddie. They chattered animatedly among themselves.
"Bowser?"
Bowser's eyes flicked to Mario. He hadn't noticed the plumber approaching. "What'cha want?"
"It's a lonely moment for-a me, too." Mario turned to the open door. "But they're gonna be just-a fine."
Bowser lowered his gaze to the floor and smiled. All the pushing, advice-giving and teaching was over. Junior didn't need any more coaching to get the woman of his dreams.
He lifted his head again, remembering the night in his throne room where he pleaded with the fates to let him live to see Junior marry.
"Thank you," he whispered.
In that moment, he mentally let go of his life like the dandelion seed by Peach's grave. No matter what happened, he could die in peace when the time came.
"Eh? Bowser?"
Bowser turned to Mario, smirking. "Wherever Peach is, she's smiling right now."
Mario's eyes softened. "Are you okay?"
"Tch, I'm great! C'mon, let's go hog a bunch of food at the buffet."
"Of course." Mario smiled. "I'm hungry."
Bowser stood up and snapped his fingers. Koopa Troopas came to collect the stool and oxygen tank and transport them outside.
Mario went on ahead, following a group of Toads waiting to escort him out.
Bowser snuck away to leave his rose boutineer on Peach's grave. That time, the tears he cried weren't sad. Reflections of her golden statue shone in his eyes when he looked up.
"They did it, Peaches."
.o
Wedding photos took two hours to complete, but the time spent was worth it. The reception happened in the giant courtyard, where a series of white fireproof canopies kept the sun from melting the eight foot wedding cake.
Somebody set up a stage by the stone dance floor on the north side near the hedge maze. Music alternated between live bands, Ludwig at the piano, Wendy singing and Iggy DJing.
Everyone got into the food— the Cheep-Cheep kabobs were a smashing success that everybody talked about— and drink glasses clinked everywhere.
Ludwig sat at the white stand-up piano onstage after a silent cue from Bowser.
Bowser vaulted up onto the stage after most people finished their food. He roared and spat a stream of fire over the crowd to get everyone's attention. His flames scorched two canopies and alarmed several Toads.
But everybody shut up.
Once the courtyard went silent, he raised his enormous gold wine goblet.
"It really chaps my ass when nobody pays attention to me!" He began, grinning when Junior rolled his eyes. "Mario, get up here."
Confused, Mario hopped up onstage next to Bowser.
Behind them, Ludwig adjusted his hearing aids and interpreted every spoken word in Koopa Sign.
Bowser went on, "Everybody, look around. I'm better-looking than whoever you're sitting next to. BWAHAHA! Just kidding! Okay, seriously now…"
His bass voice grew softer, "Junior, I'm so proud of what you did today. You did what I could never do, and I couldn't be happier than I am right now. And Cherry, you gorgeous young lady, you're really a sweetheart. Just like your mom was. I hope my boy makes you happy."
Turning to Mario, he said, "Now, I propose a toast to the joining of our kingdoms. To the start of the Koopa-Toadstool empire!"
Everyone cheered and raised their glasses. Bowser slapped his glass against Mario's before downing his entire drink.
Laughing, Mario opted to use the microphone instead of shouting. "I'd like to-a say congratulazioni to-a Junior and my sweet-a Cherry. At first, I was skeptical about this wedding, but Cherry changed my mind about Junior and Bowser. This-a day means a lot to-a me. Cherry, your-a mother would be so proud. Mamma-mia, I'm getting emotional."
His voice cracked, but he cleared his throat and wiped his eyes. "I hope for many happy years to-a come after today."
He sniffed and raised his glass full of black Koopa wedding wine. "Buona fortuna!"
Ludwig finger spelled the Italian. His fingers flew gracefully through each letter.
The gathering cheered in unison and took a hearty drink of whatever they had in their glasses. Then the dance floor cleared as Junior and Cherry made their way to the center.
Cherry removed her veil, but still wore the glittering tiara. Junior was so much larger than her that it appeared their dance would be awkward, but they practiced this moment for months.
Junior took Cherry's right hand in his left and settled his free hand on her back. She let her free hand rest on his right arm.
Ludwig faced the piano and turned on his tablet. Wendy tapped the mic, which caused the waveform on his tablet screen to shift. He nodded to show her microphone connected as he laid his fingers over the keys.
Wendy smiled and began to sing, her contralto voice suffusing the space in its low warmth.
" I took my love, I took it down. Climbed a mountain and turned around. I saw my reflection in the snow-covered hills, 'till the landslide brought me down… "
She signed what she sang, holding each gesture in time to the beat so Black wouldn't be left out.
Cherry and Junior drifted gently around the dance floor like two stars bound by gravity. Once again they forgot anyone else was there, having lost themselves in their wedding bliss.
" Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love? Can the child within my heart rise above? "
Cherry laid her head against Junior's shoulder. "Are we really here? Is this really happening?"
Junior kissed her cheek, holding her close. "If it's not, I don't want to know what reality is ever again."
"You're my best, best, most ultra best-bestest bestest best husband." She giggled.
He nuzzled his cheek against hers. "You're my best, best, most ultra bestest-best of the bestest mega-best wife."
They beamed at each other. She squeezed his hand.
"Let's be this forever."
He closed his eyes. "Yeah. We will. I promise."
They kissed softly as the music swelled around them.
" …Oh, take my love, take it down. Ohh, climb a mountain and turn around, and if you see my reflection in the snow-covered hills, well, the landslide will bring it down. And if you see my reflection in the snow-covered hills…well the landslide will bring it down, down, ohhh, the landslide will bring it…down. "
Wendy's singing carried them through their first dance. Junior finished by lowering Cherry into a graceful dip. She beamed and kissed his nose, arousing cheers from the crowd.
The reception really took off after that.
Junior and Cherry cut the cake and fed each other a piece.
Morton and Sienna tore up the dance floor with a rousing tango.
Luigi joined them and Daisy had a blast matching him move for move.
Not to be left out, Roy and Pom-Pom went for it, too, despite not being as experienced or showy.
But Elton and Freddie showed everyone up by performing an aerial tango as only Koopa Paratroopas could. They were practically a blur of green and yellow. Elton's bright gold glasses kept flashing when the daylight hit them.
Larkspur and Amaryllis gave flower petals to anybody who wanted one. Everybody cooed over them and they drank in the attention.
Three Goombas managed to get squished when a serving platter fell on them.
Bowser and Junior staged a tandem breakdancing session that cleared the dance floor and got everybody cheering.
Cherry proved she could still do a backflip while wearing heels, a tiara and a poofy wedding gown. Her heels got stuck in the grass when she landed. Junior steadied her to avoid a fall. They looked at her shoes after she walked out of them and laughed. Daisy helped her put them back on.
Pat assisted Celine to sit at a quieter table and brought her fruit punch. They kissed and gazed at each other like nobody else existed.
Black pulled Ludwig into a very aggressive, bitey kiss. Both of them disappeared into the hedge maze for half an hour. When they reappeared looking noticeably rumpled, they doffed their bow ties and left their shirt collars unbuttoned. Black picked a leaf out of Ludwig's hair. They smiled smugly at each other.
Junior spotted their departure and caught them returning. Their flushed faces said it all.
"Did you two run off and screw at my wedding? Seriously?" He signed, eyebrows raised.
Black grinned wickedly and nodded. He freed a hand from Ludwig to reply, "Isn't that what weddings are for?"
Ludwig threw his head back, baring his sharp teeth in bellowing laughter that gave away his state of inebriation. He slapped a hand onto Junior's shoulder and pulled him close to say in his ear, "He's irresistible when he bites. You'll understand what it's like later."
Junior shook him back and forth playfully. "Can you still play the piano drunk?"
Ludwig signed, "Yes, watch."
He kissed Black, climbed onto the stage and played as if he never drank a drop. Black leaned against the piano to feel it vibrate and watched him like he hung the moon in the sky.
Junior didn't realize he looked at Cherry exactly the same way when she took his hand. He smiled, playing with one of the coiled curls framing her face.
"Nobody here looks as beautiful as you, wife."
Her eyes softened. She kissed him. "Nobody here looks as handsome as you, husband."
They hugged each other and kissed deeply.
Lemmy sat astride Scott's lap and they somehow rolled his wheelchair backwards into a bush as they exchanged a long smooch. They guffawed so hard it took several minutes to detangle themselves from the branches and leaves.
Neil entertained Larkspur and Amaryllis by juggling spoons until they giggled themselves silly.
Iggy ran past Junior, loudly scream-laughing with Toad's sparkly speckled cap in his hand. Toad held his robes up as he sprinted after him, uttering every known swear word and a few new ones made up on the fly.
Boom-Boom played Koopa Hold 'em with a bunch of Toads and a yellow yoshi. His royal flush had them throwing their cards on the table and storming off in disgust. He made the bank that day.
Mario drank Lakitu under the table. Eight shots of Whitecap whiskey was all it took. He did that after imbibing black Koopa wedding wine, so the full effects hadn't hit him yet.
Stevie watched them and facepalmed. "Lakitu can't hold liquor."
Mario grinned at her, hazy-eyed.
Wendy charged all the single people two gold coins to kiss her and walked around jingling her purse.
Larry released a fake Bob-omb that made whistling noises and threw confetti everywhere. The shrieking jolted Judy out of her seat, and she flung a strawberry at him.
"Fiend!" She huffed.
Morton broke a chair sitting down. He laughed and stayed on the ground while he finished his wine.
"Are you okay?" Sienna peered at him.
"I'm great!" Morton raised his glass in a toast.
Roy sneakily topped off drinks until Daisy caught him. She snatched the wine bottle away, poured herself another glass and gave it back with her sweetest smile.
"The lace on Cherry's dress is gorgeous," she said.
"Hold on!" Cherry caught up to them. "Roy? You did this?" She ran her hand along the delicate panels on her bodice and skirt. "This is bobbin lace! It had to take months!"
"Yup! Me and Pom-Pom did it together." He dipped his head, teeth bared in a grin and sunglasses shimmering. "It's the least I can do."
She hugged him. "Thank you."
Josh caught Lemmy's squishy ball when it rolled away and tossed it back to him.
Bowser helped Luigi do his first keg-stand ever, and cackled when the aging plumber spat foam everywhere.
"Not bad, Greenie!"
Then he did one unaided, just to prove that he still could. He righted himself without spitting anything out and belched louder than the combined noise of the reception.
Luigi wrinkled his nose while dabbing foam off his mustache. Nearby, Larry cackled while taking video.
Jack mixed drinks and served Wendy a pink "Darklands Dirty" martini, called such because of the dark chocolate cube that went in it.
"So, how much of me can you see?" She asked him point-blank as she rubbed a chocolate cube around the rim of the martini glass.
He smirked, pushing his thick glasses up on his nose. "Enough to know I like what I see."
"You're not gay like your brother?"
"Nope. Bi."
She smirked, taking a long gulp of her drink. "Same."
Bowser got a text. He grinned deviously and answered it.
Moments later, the rest of Serrated crashed the wedding. Bowser helped them set up an impromptu concert.
Sienna hopped onstage with them and sat behind the drum set. She held her drumsticks aloft and slapped them together. Blue swung his head, Paratroopa wings and blue spiked hair swishing. Crimson's feathery red hair waved in the wind when he strummed his guitar.
"Oh, hell yeah!" Junior screamed at the top of his lungs.
"Wow!" Cherry glued herself to his side, eyes glowing gleefully.
"YES!" Daisy whistled.
Nobody knew what to do until the music boomed to life. All of a sudden a flood of Toads, yoshis and Koopas poured onto the dance floor.
Mario and Luigi ran away from the speakers with both hands over their ears. Bowser cracked up at them rushing past. They went back once they realized a bomb wasn't going off.
The music blasted. People danced, laughed, kissed, played and drank. It was the biggest party their combined kingdoms had ever seen, and everybody had a good time.
Bowser sat alone on the side, self-consciously glancing at the oxygen tank and coiled tubing. Junior found him and helped him hook the prongs into his nose.
"Hey, dad." He smiled. "You okay?"
Bowser gazed up at him, his russet eyes no longer burdened by worry or sadness.
"I'm alive." He beamed, "I can't call myself the happiest Koopa on the planet right now, since that's you. But I'm damn happy right now."
Cherry emerged from the throng and playfully tugged Junior's tail. "Boo!"
"Ack!" Junior spun to face her. "Cherry!"
She pulled him close and kissed him. Then she came forward in a thunder of rustling fabric to wrap her arms around Bowser's neck.
"Thank you for making that cute Koopa behind me," she whispered in his ear.
Bowser touched his lips to her cheek. "Thanks for being sweet to him."
Cherry withdrew, squeezing his hand one more time.
Junior offered her his arm and they walked back into the chaos.
Bowser sat alone for a while, resting and watching people flail about. Morton sat Scott on his shoulders so he could see the band. Whoever lifted Lemmy aloft tossed him backwards, and he landed squarely on Mario's face. Laughter erupted. Lemmy helped Mario back onto his feet with a sheepish look on his face. The crowd shifted, hiding them from sight again.
Black came out with a tall glass of ice water, bowed respectfully and offered it up.
"Here, you should hydrate," he signed one-handed, "I saw you drinking beer and wine, but no water."
"Neil says I should keep my fluid intake down." Bowser signed back.
Black raised an eyebrow, gesturing. "Yes, and alcohol dehydrates you."
He had a point.
Bowser accepted the glass and drank it while Black watched. He ate the ice, too, relishing the cold hard crunch against his teeth.
Black smiled, bowed again and took the glass with him when he pushed his way back into the reception.
Eventually, Bowser twisted the nozzle on the oxygen tank as he took the nasal cannula off. His feet hurt at every step, but he felt okay enough to rejoin the mess.
The sky trended towards orange as the sun prepared for its descent.
Cherry faced the stage while hopefuls gathered behind her. She tossed her bouquet too hard, so it hit one of the canopies. Wendy caught it as it dropped straight down and bragged her head off about it until she saw that a red yoshi snagged the garter. The yoshi puckered his snout for a kiss. She screamed. A few Toads laughed at her.
Jack stood up as she stormed off, and she crashed head-on into his chest.
"Whoa!" He steadied her. "Hi. Sorry. Hi, again."
"Move," Wendy snapped.
Jack reached into his breast pocket and took out a handful of coins. "Are you still accepting payments for a smooch?"
"Maybe. Why?"
"Because you're so fucking beautiful and I'm tired of being shy." He held out his hand, coins gleaming.
As soon as Wendy accepted them, he tilted her back in a waltz-dip and pressed his mouth to hers. Bowser took a great photo of the moment on his phone.
She came up breathless, flushed and wide-eyed.
Before Jack could let go of her, she snagged his shirt collar, yanked him nose to nose, and said, "Do that again. Slower."
Jack gladly obliged. Wendy wrapped her arms around his neck, her painted red claws sliding through his inky black ponytail. A few people whistled.
Later, Bowser and Mario stood together to watch Junior and Cherry leave the reception.
All of Junior's brothers scribbled vulgar euphemisms for sex and genitalia around the huge JUST MARRIED banner tied to the back of the Koopa Clown Car.
"Bye, daddy!" Cherry shouted over the Koopa Clown Car's engines. She read one of the words written on the banner and blushed.
Mario waved to her, a bit wobbly from all the liquor he consumed with Lakitu.
Junior gave a thumb's up that Bowser quickly returned. Then the Koopa Clown Car lifted off. Nobody noticed a rope dangling from the back of it until a loud bang drowned out the cheers.
All eyes went to the crudely-carved, ten foot long wooden phallus swinging behind the Clown Car. The shocking sight gave way to roaring laughter.
Cherry grabbed Junior's arm and showed him the source of the joke. Junior stopped the 'Car, peeked over the side and immediately looked at his dad.
Bowser grinned and guiltily pointed to Mario. When Mario noticed Bowser pointing at him, he elbowed Bowser's ribs. Junior almost fell out of the 'Car laughing. He cut the rope and sped away.
"And there they go," said Bowser. "So, Mario…uh, Mario?"
Mario was sprawled out on his back, snoring.
Bowser rolled his eyes and bent over, "Ugh, never let tiny people drink Koopa wine."
As he reached for the unconscious plumber, he felt a tightening behind his breastbone. It had enough punch to make him pause mid-motion and touch his chest. The sensation disappeared as fast as it came.
He forgot about it, hefted Mario over his shoulder and walked back towards the party, "Hey, everybody, check it out! Mario's drunk! Who wants to write on him?"
.o
Servants transformed Junior's bedroom into a romantic wedding suite. They laid a soft mattress on the stone slab bed, draped it in the finest frictionless Koopa silk and lit the metal sconces to give the room a warm, golden glow.
Junior carried Cherry over the threshold while she giggled in his arms. They were buzzing to go after they spent most of the Clown Car ride kissing and watching the sunset.
But Junior wanted to brush his teeth first so his garlic breath didn't ruin their night.
Everything Bowser said to him about the wedding night came crashing through his mind. Junior finished brushing his teeth and spat in the sink.
Sex between two Koopas was so simple because their hardy bodies could take rough treatment that would shatter fragile human bones. The rules were different with Cherry. He had to go slow, make sure she felt pleasure instead of pain and be willing to let her get on top if she wanted.
What if I screw this up somehow? I might get carried away and break one of her arms if I'm not careful.
Junior squatted down and popped his shell off. All the tests on his heart helped him get used to removing it, but it never stopped feeling naked and vulnerable without its weight.
I wonder if—
"Junior…" A bronze leg slid around the door, the foot still wearing a white high heel. "Come on, big boy. Get undressed and come to bed."
Junior gulped and his pants suddenly got tight.
"C-coming! Just a sec! I'm— I'm getting naked in here…"
Oh, THAT was really sexy.
He pulled his pants and jacket off and hung them up. Then came the bow tie and shirt. He paused to smile at his wedding band. The whole day seemed like a dream until now.
He shut the bathroom lights off and peeked into the bedroom, glad to find the light low in there, too.
Cherry's ball gown lay across the back of his desk chair, the voluminous skirt and petticoats sticking up into the air. How did she get that off by herself?
Straight ahead, she was laying on her side on the bed, naked.
Junior's eyes grew. He got a glimpse when they fooled around in the closet, but this— he could barely take her all in.
Cherry smiled sweetly and patted the mattress. His feet got cold all over again. She was gorgeous.
"Where's the big growl I'm supposed to hear?"
Junior gulped. "Um…grr?"
"You call that a growl?" Cherry raised an eyebrow. "I thought Koopa mating growls were a lot more, oh, I dunno…"
She moved her legs and her illecebrous scent curled towards his nose. His senses jumped alive with a need, one he only indulged alone in the privacy of his bathroom.
This woman offered herself to him, and no one else could have her. His pupils dilated and his throat contracted in a deep, guttural growl that rattled the walls.
"Mine," the growl said in his native Koopa tongue, "you are mine!"
"That's better." Cherry licked her red lips. "Come on."
A second later, he crawled onto the bed, looming over her with everything on display so she could see how much she excited him. Her breath caught.
"Cherry," Junior whispered, unable to look away from her ensorcelling blue eyes, "We don't have to—"
"Hush." She pressed her lips to his and guided one of his hands to her breast. Her free hand stroked his hair, calming his nerves. Wasn't she supposed to be the nervous one?
If she was, it didn't show.
"Tell you what." She tapped the end of his nose. "I'm going to moan and groan like something hurts once we get down to it. How about I pick a random word to tell you to stop?"
"You mean, like, a safe word?"
"Yup." Cherry popped her lips on the end of the word. "How about 'paper'?"
Junior leaned in and kissed her. "Paper it is."
She hooked her fingers like claws and dragged them down his bare back. That flesh wasn't exposed often, so he felt it through his scales.
"Ahh, Cherry!" He almost collapsed on top of her.
She pulled the covers over their heads and giggled.
A moment later…
"Wow…stretchy."
"Mmh, Junior, that feels so…w-what?"
"Uh, nevermind."
.o
Mario awoke in his throne, head throbbing and heavy with fading intoxication. His dry mouth tasted like a sweaty sock. He didn't want to think about how his breath smelled.
"Here," said a familiar bass voice, and a beefy hand shoved a tall water glass at his face. "Drink up, it'll help."
Groaning, Mario downed the water and opened his eyes. Something green, white and fuzzy around the edges sat in front of him. He fumbled in his breast pocket for his glasses and the blurry thing resolved into Bowser.
Bowser untied his red bow tie, letting its loose ends hang freely next to his unbuttoned collar. He wore his oxygen tubing again. The wheeled silver tank by his side emitted soft puffs every so often while he breathed.
Nervous Toad guards paced the floors.
Fading daylight came through the windows, the sun's last rays gleaming across abendrot skies.
"Hell of a party, wasn't it?" Bowser grinned.
"As big as my wedding to-a Peach," Mario sighed, smiling back.
He followed Bowser's gaze to Cherry's official royal painting, which hung where Peach's used to. It showed her in profile, holding a rose as red as her dress. The background was soft gold, bringing warm harmony to her olive skin and dark hair.
"Hey, Mario?"
"What?"
Bowser started to say something, closed his mouth and waved his hand. "I'm leaving soon."
He wasn't talking about departing the castle.
Before Mario could comment, he smirked again, eyes wickedly gleaming. "Don't you need to piss after all that booze?"
"You have a point-a." Mario wobbled onto his feet. Moving made him highly aware of the need to relieve himself.
His guards stared in horror and whispered to each other. Bowser shushed them, grinning wickedly.
Mario staggered into the bathroom under the throne room staircase, shut the door and turned on the light. Without checking the mirror, he lifted the toilet seat and did his business.
Only when he went to wash his hands did he see his face covered in swear words, crude black ink penises and a pair of breasts doodled on the tip of his round nose.
"Oh no!" Mario cried.
His phone blew up with photos of Bowser and his kids laughing maniacally while drawing the offensive marks on his face while he slept.
Mario burst out of the bathroom, shaking his fists and bellowing, "Vaffanculo! Testa di cazzo!"
Bowser snapped a photo of him mid-scream and cackled so loud it thundered throughout the halls.
"Stronzo!"
"Calm down, it'll wash off!" He laughed harder.
"Hmph!" Mario stalked back into the bathroom and the sink ran.
"You love me!" Bowser called at the closed door.
"Yes, as much as a hemorrhoid!" Mario snapped back.
"BWAHAHA!"
"Shush!"
"Make me! BWHAHAHA!"
Mario emerged, his face clean except for a few inky smears on his eyebrows and cheeks. "You're-a terrible."
"I know." Bowser smiled. "I'm gonna head out now. I had to see the chaos first."
Lights came on inside as the daylight outside faded.
Grumbling, Mario wiped water off his nose.
"Before you go…did-a you seriously make-a Luigi do a keg-stand?"
Bowser smirked. "Yup! He was sorry afterward, wasn't he?"
"He threw up in a salad bowl."
"Awesome! Did you puke, too?"
"No, I didn't see-a him do it."
"Damn. I wanted to laugh at you puking."
"Sorry to-a disappoint you."
They chuckled— shared mirth, that time.
Mario noticed how exhausted and unwell Bowser looked. His eyelids drooped, his shoulders sagged and pain lurked behind the joyful gleam in his eyes.
"You're dying, aren't you?" Mario arched an eyebrow, face serious.
"We all are," Bowser countered him, unflinching.
A strange lump tightened Mario's throat. "You have heart-a troubles."
"Oh." Bowser touched his scarred chest. His mouth curved in a sly smirk. "Yes, Mario, I'm dying. Probably soon. And, after today, I'm okay with it if I don't wake up tomorrow. I'm gonna welcome every day until I'm not here anymore. So should you. Don't wait till you're terminally ill to do it."
Standing up straighter, he went on, "Wanna know something funny? Ten years ago today, my cardiologist told me I had ten years to live. This should've been my death day, and instead I watched Junior get married. I lived."
Mario smiled, because he sure as hell didn't want Bowser seeing him tear up. "You're right-a. You lived, and you had fun."
"Damn right." Bowser looked Mario squarely in the eyes. "When you see me dead, remember how much I lived."
With that, he wrapped his meaty, swollen fingers around the handle behind the oxygen tank, wrangled the loose tubing on a hook and started for the main entrance.
"Hey, Bowser?"
"What?" Bowser glanced over his shoulder.
Mario wiped his nose on his sleeve and sighed. They weren't going to see each other again after this. Not with both of them alive, at any rate. This was Bowser, the stubborn, obnoxious, fire-breathing brute he rescued Peach from a dozen times. The idea of him lying still and pale somewhere didn't fit.
He knew he should say something, but what did one say in a situation like this? The words he managed seemed pitiful in comparison to the yawning future.
"Take-a care."
Bowser's frown cooled away and he grinned toothily, his expression as close to friendly as it got. He responded to the goodbye Mario couldn't say.
"Bye, you grungy old pipe cleaner. Live a nice, long life. BWAHAHA!"
His big, booming laugh reverberated off the floor as nervous Toad guards gathered to escort him out to the warp zone. He walked gingerly, as if his feet hurt, and the wheels on the oxygen tank squeaked on the stone path.
Mario turned away and didn't watch him leave.
.o
.o